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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Am i normal.............

25 replies

prettyfly1 · 25/02/2005 20:01

Hi,

I am about to have a baby and please dont shout but i am really unhcomfortable with breast feeding. I have read all the benefits and i fell so guilty for not wanting to but the idea is just making me so uncomfortable.

I know its the most natural thing in the world but i even turn away when i see other women doing it. Has anyone else experienced this - hwo did you get over it????

OP posts:

hercules · 25/02/2005 20:03

Loads of people here have experienced this. I didnt so cant give advice except that what you are feeling is perfectly normal.

YOu will get loads of excellent advice here.

dejags · 25/02/2005 20:04

I felt like this before falling pregnant with DS1, although I changed my mind once pregnant. My advice is to do what ever suits you best, don't cave into pressure to do something you don't want to do.

FWIW my DS1 was totally bottlefed - he is extremely bright, has no allergies and is perfectly proportioned height and weight wise.

FairyMum · 25/02/2005 20:06

A friend of mine felt very much like you and so she didn't bf. If you feel so strongly about it, I think you should give yourself a break and let the baby hit the bottle so to speak. I very much think breast is best, but I think it's also very important how mum feels. Don't put too much pressure on yourself and don't let anyone else either.

TracyK · 25/02/2005 20:07

I was the same before ds - always turned away from bf women - more embarassed than anything.
Once I had ds though completely changed my mind. Bf till he was 10 mo and loved it - plus it saved loads of ££ on formula and also saved me having to keep going to the shops for milk!
Keep an open mind - but at least try and bf for the first couple of days so that babe gets the colestrum and make sure you get as MUCH help as you need from midwife.

Blossomhill · 25/02/2005 20:08

It's very much personal choice I think. I did it with my first baby but decided not to with my second. I am happy with both of the decision I made.

mummytojames · 25/02/2005 20:08

prettyfly please dont feel guilty about not breast feeding i couldnt breast feed and to be honest it was no problem me ds had the bottle and hes now a very tall stocky build 18 month old
please remember that we are all different some people prefere breast some prefere bottle its realy down to the indervidual and if you dont feel comfortable just dont do it you would do your baby more harm through stress and your baby picking up on the stress than you would do with a bottle anyday hth and good luck with the new arrival when they decide to show

Nimme · 25/02/2005 20:12

Wasn't very hooked on the idea first time but second time I really looked forward to it.

However, a very good friend of mine decided it wasn't for her and she bottlefed her two gorgeous boys from day 1.

Everybody's different - you should do whatever works for you. And if you do decide to bottle feed please don't bother with the guilt feelings - just feel smug knowing you can eat whatever you like in whatever quantities you like.

Mum2Ela · 25/02/2005 20:14

fwiw I don't find it the most natural thing in the world.

I tried to B/F DD but couldn't (or wouldn't?) - prob gave up too easily. Think I was more worried about having to feed in public, and lift my t-shirt up and someone might spot my new baby-belly - yuch!

This time round TBH I thought it would be much easier to b/f and new baby than bottlefeed, with a mad toddler running around my feet. I was right too. I'll get my boobs out anywhere now.

Don't worry about looking away if you see women b/f, it doesn't embarras me anymore and so now I don't worry if other people are bothered by it iyswim.

hercules · 25/02/2005 20:16

Nimme, you can eat whatever you like when bf as well....

Just remember that you cant tell by looking at someone whether they were bf or not.

hercules · 25/02/2005 20:17

Second the natural thing too. Babies and mums have to learn. It is rarely a case of slap the baby on the boob and all's well. Although that is what happened with dd.

moondog · 25/02/2005 20:17

Er Nmme, Iate and drank what I liked when b/feeding. (Just a thought.) We need to dispell the myth that your diet is restrictedwhen b/feeding.
BTW that includes/included ample quantities of wine!!

hercules · 25/02/2005 20:18

although dd does seem to sleep very well if I have wine. see this as a plus really though.

I also think it's normal to turn away when you see someone bf.

HappyMumof2 · 25/02/2005 20:21

Message withdrawn

toomanypushchairs · 25/02/2005 20:31

Don't feel guilty, they say breast is best, but it has to be best for you aswell. Before my dd I didn't really have an opinion either way, I tried bf it went well, but after 3months I was fed up hiding away everytime I fed(I wasn't comfortable feeding infront of men other than my dh)so I gave up, with my ds I did it again, tried to carry on as long as I did with my dd but got fed up at 6wks. when I found myself pregnant again the first decision I made was to bottle feed from the beginning. When I found out it was twins that confirmed my decision. It was best for me, and hasn't done them any harm. what about those who can't bf? their babies are all ok!

busyalexsmummy · 25/02/2005 22:32

Just see what happens, give it ago if you can, if you feel its not for you, then dont feel guilty about not b/feeding

best of luck xx

NotQuiteCockney · 26/02/2005 10:12

Prettyfly1, I get the impression from your message that you want to get over this and be comfortable with breastfeeding?

If so, why not look for a breastfeeding class, or breastfeeding support drop in, and go before you have your baby? If you're in an environment where breastfeeding is normal, and many women are doing it, you may find you can get past your feelings of discomfort (if you want to - you don't have to breastfeed, obviously). Any breastfeeding counsellor would be happy to talk to you about this, I think. They might help you work out what bothers you about the idea, and either help you get past your lack of comfort, or help you accept your decision to bottlefeed.

tiktok · 27/02/2005 18:09

Good thinking, there, NQC....pretty, it will help you to get good information, and you can then decide if you feel strong enough to overcome your feelings of discomfort. People posting here, on the whole won't judge you either way

But having said that, they don't always get the facts straight, either! For example, it really doesn't matter what you eat and drink when you bf. And there is no reason why being stressed and uncomfortable is 'worse' than being formula fed....that's simply not true.

There are a number of health risks to using formula, but only you can decide if feeling uncomfortable about bf is powerful enough for you to overlook those risks. There is always more to bf than just the health aspects, and for some, it is a personal choice not to bf, and no one else's business, either.

oneofeach · 27/02/2005 18:45

I had felt a bit funny about bf, really just as I had never done it before and I didn't know anyone else who had at that stage. However I would say to give it a go (and if you do want to give it a go, be prepared to ask for help if you don't seem to be getting the hang of it). Just give it a go and see how you feel. You might love it! If you don't, well you've lost nothing. I tried and tried to BF DS and we just couldn't get it together. I spent about a year regretting not trying harder. However when DD came along she just got it straight away and although I found it a bit tricky to start with I really did enjoy it.

Mosschops30 · 27/02/2005 19:24

Message withdrawn

bobbybob · 28/02/2005 03:01

I had absolutely no experience of breastfeeding before having ds. I can't even remember seeing anyone bf until our antenatal group started having babies.

I went to a couple of special classes (in NZ) and some women from La Leche League came in and bf in front of us. At first I was quite uncomfortable, but they were talking away and answering questions and I realised that if they weren't embarrased then I didn't need to be either. They both said they hadn't intended to breastfeed but had found they enjoyed it.

I am still bfing ds (2 yesterday)which now has a different set of challenges, but initially I set myself a goal of 6 weeks, then 6 months, then a year and then 2 years. Now I haven't got a goal in mind, just a vague thought that I will give up at some stage in the next year.

Good luck with your new baby.

AussieSim · 28/02/2005 03:10

I felt similarly to you, but committed to doing it anyway given my DH's medical history and me being too lazy to be sterilizing bottles and preparing them and carrying them around.

I breastfed till 16mo, but even now I can feel uncomfortable seeing other women breastfeeding - especially older babies. Maybe because it is a private thing even when done in public and I shouldn't notice.

I am pregnant and hoping to breast feed again, but know that even though I was successful the first time (eventually) it doesn't mean that I will be again.

Try not to do too much in advance worrying. Live in the moment and enjoy this precious time before your baby joins you, as he/she will be here before you know it.

oops · 28/02/2005 13:26

Message withdrawn

hoxtonchick · 28/02/2005 13:29

what a lovely supportive thread

oops · 28/02/2005 13:33

Message withdrawn

milward · 28/02/2005 13:36

PF1 - don't feel guilty for how you feel. Your feelings are just as valid as everyone elses. There's lots of good ideas here. Just like to add see how you go - just go with the flow. If you try bf & it's great then no problem if you try bf and it's not for you then no problem as well. If you don't give it a go you might wonder how it might have been? Get as much help as possible - keep talking about how you feel - this will help you work it all out. Best wishes for the birth of you baby

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