Bottle feeding nightmare

[MrShev]

Our breastfed daughter (12wks)is given a bottle of formula once a day (at 10.30pm) to help her sleep through the night. (some hope) I give the bottle rather than my wife, who just needs a break.

The problem is is that it is 50/50 whether or not our DD will take it and sometimes it is a real battle. She should be taking between 5-7oz at this feed but takes as little as 2 (last night) and 6 (the previous). She is on Avent bottles (tried others - no joy at all). Tried changing formula (no difference).

She will point blank refuse a bottle from anyone else. It's like she cannot latch on, if she latches on well she will finish the bottle. Sometimes she grins as she refuses it.

I think that she is just really, really smart and is just messing with our heads.

Oh, and second child so we (sort of) know what we're doing!

Any advice? Help? Similar experiences? This has been going on for weeks....

We're at our wits end...

12 weeks is too little to be grinning at you because she is refusing a bottle. It is also too little to be messing with your heads. She is a baby, completely incapable of this kind of logic.

Is your wife breastfeeding othewise? Maybe it would be easier, for now, just to give a breastfeed at this time rather than a bottle. A bottle of formula is no more likely to help her sleep through the night than a breastfeed, and if she will take the breastfeed, why not just go with the flow for now?

I know your wife is tired, but things will settle down and, eventually, you will be able to give that bottle if you really want to. But for now she is very, very little and going with the flow might be advisable.

I've got a baby that smiles when I put the teat in his mouth sometimes. I don't think he's smiling because he's refusing it, rather that he doesn't really want it and is enjoying the cuddle and attention all the same. At this age they don't know how to manipulate you, perhaps your baby isn't hungry.

The messing with our heads comment was a joke BTW

Ds2 (now 7 months) was totally formula fed, but he wouldn't take bottles from my dh, for whatever reason. Dh would think he wasn't hungry, then I'd try and he'd drink every last drop.

12 weeks is very early to expect a baby not to wake at night for a feed , also, feeding during the night ensures that the breasts keep up with demand

lower your expectations and you will feel happier !

a breastfeed she is happy to take will give everyone less stress ultimately, what about you giving a bottle at 7 ish, so your wife can chill before the 10 ish and night feeds?

you can;t expect a baby to take the same amount at each feed, she will not always be as hungry

babies are constantly evolving and meeting those needs responsively, rather than thinking they ought to be doing something else will help you feel better IMO and IME

also, babies do not latch on to a bottle the same way they latch on to the breast, she might simply prefer the breast