Am in a muddle. Need reassurance to keep going please!

[BadgerQueen]

I am losing my nerve with BF (again) and bought and tried formula today. Feeling very low and disappointed and a bit of a failure.
DD2 is 15 weeks and pretty big, but she has gone from sleeping from a sleepy feed at 10:30 to 6:30am to more and more frequent feeds in the night - last night was nearly on the hour (argh). I think I am being a bit thick but to date she has only needed one side and possibly now needs both, but I have very little milk - and she is doing a lot of pulling and fussing and turning her head away. She seems to finish or loose interest much quicker too and then wants more only a short time later, but then today she lasted ages again - well 3hrs. I am tired and I always lose a lot of weight if under strain, but I just can't see that I am producing enough to keep her (and me)going. I know there is meant to be growth spurt around 13 weeks (I posted when this started happening), but supply seems to have been diminishing for weeks and she is going less and less time between feeds. I feel like the only way to keep being is to stay in bed and mainline cake, but I have a 5 yr old (managed to feed until 8 months, but everything dried up when I went back to work) and life can't stop for milk. Help.

sorry should have been "keep going"

Badger, sorry to read your story

I am not sure what evidence there is in your post that you have a diminished supply, sorry.

Frequent waking at night, losing interest more quickly, fussing/head turning, wanting more a short time later (sometimes)....all that is demanding for you, but none of it is unusual in a healthy baby your dd's age, or a sign she needs formula. Why not offer both sides if she is giving you a sign she needs both sides?

It might work out better for you both in the longer term if there were ways of coping with this phase of behaviour, rather than giving formula which it is clear you don't want to do

Its just that my boobs are really soft and I never seem to fill up the way I did. Also by the end of the day I feel like there is barely anything there at all - today there wasn't much this morning and it just gets worse thru the day. She seems really desperate and not satisfied too - she seems to come off from discomfort or boredom rather than feeling full they way she used too and is rooting and sucking on her fingers, my chin, shoulder, nose - anything she can reach almost all the time - maybe its comfort she is seeking - but it feels like she used to get that from a really good feed. I just can't believe that my boobs can get smaller abd softer and still be producing more.

It might seem as though they are empty, but you can be pretty certain that they aren't. By the time you get to a few months old, the milk supply sorts itself out and you don't get as full as you did in the beginning, especially if you have fed throughout the night aswell. Could it be that she is teething which is why she is sucking her fingers, or as you suggest, just for comfort? If it is comfort, you could try putting in a t-shirt with he as she sleeps (as long as she can't grab it or it won't go over her face of course) and this may help her to settle. I always used to feel that there wasn't anything left with DS1 and he only fed from the left side. Even with DS2 now (16wks) he is due a feed soon and they are soft.

There is milk there though so don't worry. As long as she is having plenty of wet nappies, then you know that she is def getting plenty. You probably just can't remember this on your first one (and tiredness always makes things seem worse) When youe 5yo goes back to school you will be able to take naps in the day when your baby does. It's probably just a growth spurt - they don't all have them at set times - mine seem to have them every week !!!

keep going, you've done so well to get this far and you obviously don't want to stop yet.
good luck

At around 4 months I found my daughter became a lot more distracted. Everything around her was so much more exciting, so she took small feeds more often rather than big feeds with a few hours in between. She also started waking up more, I think because so much was going on in her head she just couldn't switch off. It does get slowly better over the next few months.

It is totally normal for your boobs to get softer. DD is 13 months, and my boobs are pretty much the same as before I got pregnant, maybe a bit bigger. They have been like this from quite early on. I haven't had a 'filling up' feeling forever, or felt engorged. I know there is still plenty of milk there, my body has just adjusted to how much milk DD needed and when.

Have a read of these links and see what you think. here and here I know it's really difficult to trust your body, but it really does know what it's doing! Hope I've helped. You sound like you're doing great!

Redhead - thanks, you sound so confident , i thought I'd be less neurotic this time round, but I just seem to have forgotten everything!

Charchar thanks for the links - amazing information - I thought I had read everything the first time round - but maybe it was the wrong stuff. She is teething, much more awake, distractable and has started moving around a lot more - so maybe all that does account for the fussing and waking. I miss the obvious boob signs of the earlier weeks - engorgement (can't believe I am saying that when it was soooo painful!)and spurting everywhere & its also what I remember most from DD1 - I can't remember weeks 12 to 8 months though. Am trying so hard not to over-think it, and I am not really complaining about the lack of sleep I know it comes with the territory but it feels like the goal posts keep moving and I never know where I am with her. I am clearly a big weed and should stop wobbling.

Sounds exactly like DD! As soon as she started moving around more her sleep went haywire. She's had settled times in between rolling, crawling and walking, but it's now she's walking that she's really settled down dramatically. She is a demon baby though, I'm sure your DD will settle down much quicker than that!

The early signs are quite comforting, aren't they? It's hard when you can't ever see the milk (unless they spit it all over you!) I have struggled with trusting my body to know what it's doing, but it's become easier with time. You're not a big weed, it's normal to have a wobble every so often. I used to obsessively ask my Dad each week when he visited, 'Do you think she's grown?' because I couldn't trust what I couldn't see. It's second nature now, but it didn't used to be. Have a read of some more of the articles on Kellymom, I have found it really helpful whenever I had a wobble.

I think we also have the fear about it being as bad as the first time round -we didn't get a full night before DD1 was 16 months - so its sort of easy to blame the feeding. The other thing is that early teething thing when they aren't really skilled enough to hold somehting in their mouth so the boob is the easiest source of chewy comfort - though DD2 is sucking her hand and thumb and fingers - which is good I suppose. The pressure to have a routine and know what they should be doing is all around,. Oh hell she is wailing, back in a bit

Seems to have sorted herself out. Oh, looks like I was rambling, think I am just v tired and anxious today. We will see how it goes tonight and I will get her weighed on Wednesday just to make sure she is still gaining okay. Will look at Kellymom it gets lots of mentions.