BFing 2nd time around - lots of questions

[strawberry]

Expecting 2nd baby in April. BF DS for 10 months so quite successful in the end. But introduced bottle of formula quite early. I found I could not express and got quite stressed about it. I have Avent one. Would like to introduce bottle of expressed milk this time.

I appeciate there are probably no definitive answers to my questions but all advice appreciated.

Will milk 'come-in' ealier 2nd time around? Took about 4 days last time
Any advice on expressing? How much should I aim for (perhaps expected too much last time?) When to start expressing?
Fed ds on demand and for as long as he wanted but suspect this is not realistic for 2nd babies. So should I aim for 3-hourly feeds approx. and how long should I feed for? Both breasts at every feed?

Thanks

My milk came in faster the second time - but this might be becuase DS1 was elective section, while DS2 was emergency. Also, DS2 was nursing really well before the milk came in, while DS1 wasn't. Why is how soon the milk comes in a concern for you?

I think you're not meant to express until BF is established - wait until 6 weeks or so. Different women get different amounts with different pumps etc. I found expressing easier, the second time around, but so was BF. Relaxing while expressing is very very important.

Feeding on demand is fine with second babies, particularly for the first six weeks or whatever. How old is your DS? I found I could nurse DS2 while reading to DS1, all of us snuggled up in my big bed. Worked very well, and very popular with everyone involved. I've read it's not wise to let a BF baby go more than 2-3 hours without feeding, during the day, in the early weeks.

I found that the process of breastfeedign was pretty much the same both times, but that the two babies' feeding 'styles' were utterly different. ds was not particularly interested at first, and generally fed very gently, whereas dd latched on and didn't let go for nearly two days, brought me up in blisters and always fed very roughly indeed.

Don't beat yourself up over expressing. It's nice if it works, but survivable if it doesnt'. I managed to express a little in the first few weeks with no2, mostly because dh was looking after ds.

As to demand or otherwise, that depends really on how easygoing your no1 is, and how the baby fits in with his schedule. Unfortunately, it's usually the baby who has to accommodate, and you can't always do things the same way as you did with no1.

I found it very easy to bf dd while snuggling up on the sofa with ds and reading to him. Very helpful if you can do that.

Another thing that helped with bfing dd while looking after ds was a Huggababy sling. I could feed her in the sling, needing only one hand to help support her head, leaving the other hand free to look after ds.

Thanks NQC.

DS will be just 3. Hoping everything will be easier this time too.

Posts crossed. I will look into getting a sling - good idea

You're right should not get stressed about expressing. Are the benefits of BFing reduced by introducing some formula early on? This is my concern

I'm afraid the benefits are reduced (but not destroyed) by introducing some formula. Also, introducing formula in the early weeks tends to lead to you stopping breastfeeding earlier than you want to. Why do you feel you'll need to give formula in the early days?

You'll have a similar gap to me - my boys are 3 years, less two days, apart. DS1 is very helpful with DS2, and not very jealous, either. He really adores his little brother, and the feelings are more than returned!

I mix-fed ds from 2weeks to 5.5m, when I went over to formula completely, and fully breastfed dd until 22m (with the occasional bottle of formula if I had to be away for a feed - I could never express enough for a full feed). They are both health and intelligent and well-grown children.

When I started giving ds bottles he was on 6 bottles per day, but I continued putting him to the breast at every feed, and at about 6wks decided to try and increase my breastmilk. It took about a month, and from then on he was getting half of his food from me and half from the bottle.

So while the breastfeeding mafia will say that the merest touch of a teat on the baby's lips will destroy all hope of breastfeeding, the fact is that you can combine .

BTW, NQC, I don't mean to imply that you are BFM - our posts crossed, else I would have phrased it slightly different. No offence intended. It's just that some of us who struggle with bfing get seriously brainwashed by BFM-types, and often don't realise that there is more than one way of doing things.

I would like to introduce a bottle because of work. I am self-employed and not sure what to do about work at the moment - another story.

I am actually due 2 days before ds's 3rd birthday! And seems to be a ds2 from the scans. One of my other (many) worries is both having same birthday!!

hi

i bf dd1 ver successfully, bf dd2 but not for as long.

i found my milk did come in quicker, maybe a couple of days earlier.

if you are worried about not having time because you will have to see to your older child, i was really worried about that too, but surprisingly, it was really an issue. my dd (who was just 2 when baby was born) was really patient and understanding (as much as a toddler can be). as long as i sort of involved her a wee bit she was fine

lots of luck

I found that the milk came in at much the same time second time around but there was much more of it. I also found that they fed in totally different ways. With DS it took about 40 mins to feed him, both sides. With DD usually 10 mins, one side was enough. She was definately full. Occassionally she had a longer feed, but I guess the milk just came out faster or she was better at sucking or something. I fed no2 longer than no1 (12mths vs 10) and had less qualms about feeding when out, wherever I was.
I must admit during the day I woke dd up evry 3 hours or so at first if she was still sleeping to feed her, so that she would hoepfully be fuller and sleep better at night. In the event she fed 3 hourly round the clock at first by herself anyway. An absolute dream compared to no 1 fed on demand.
I also found I had milk spare to express as a result, not that DD would take a bottle anyway