Breastfeeding advice please

[ChaCha]

Will hopefully finish post before baby wakes...here goes!

DS3 12 days old and b/f. Weight at birth 7.15lbs. Was doing well. Lost 7% of his birthweight, midwife had no concerns.
Midwife returned 2 days later, he had only put on 10 grams in those 2 days, she told me that he should be putting on 20grams a day and that she would come out to weigh him again today. New midwife came out today, lovely woman. DS hadn't put on any weight which i am in total shock about (and had a good cry about in front of m/w too) as he produces wet/dirty nappies, sleeps well and seemed to be ok.

baby awake...sorry for typos

am now obviously worried, it seems that ds is falling asleep too often when supposedly feeding and using me for comfort more than a feed. i have m/w visit again tomorrow, b/f clinic thursday and GP friday.
Feeling shattered and bit of a failure, mainly because i was so sure he was thriving and what i thought was cluster feeding was just ds enjoying being at breast. Also feeling guilty about time spet with him while ds's are being entertained with others, only so many books u can rad with them

Any advice/previous experience?
Is back on now and looking asleep!

do not want to introduce top ups, ended b/f with ds's because of non supprtive gp who made me feel awful n inadequate

I think you're right to resist top ups for now. Have you done all the normal things to keep them awake - pulling tickling etc?

Have you tried going to bed for a few days just to fed - may ramp up supply and interest from baby?

I'm no expert at all - just wanted to respond as had similar problem. I'm sure some will be along.

Have you tried local bf group for a view on how the latch is? Mine were very helpful.

Good luck.

thanks, got b/f clinic thursday to make sure. cant do bed thing as have 2 dc both under 3 years. dh has been great in letting me retire with ds early but ha been to no gr8 avail it wd seenm

Have you tried stripping her down when you feed her? If she is all warm and cosy she is more likely to fall asleep. If its cold just feeding her in a vest?

Between now and next weigh-in i would just constanlty offer her the breast and make sure she is having lots of opportunities (sp) to feed. Try and feed her at least every two hours. If she ds was falling asleep i would klick my finger and thumb by his ear which would gently shock him back into feeding.

oh starlight, your post is making me weep....i do feel like exam time at school also doesnt help that all grandparents are anti b/f and dying for ds to be on ff - u cant let him starve and fatten him up comments every baby...putting up with it as they r helping with dc and doing good job

Please don't think of yourself as a failure; you are doing a great job I'm sure.

I'm not a qualified BFC (am learning though), and although I'm not too sure about babies this young, weighing every day would seem counterproductive to me. The rule of thumb is that they should have regained their birth weight by around day 14. What eight is he now in relation to his birhtweight? also, did the new MW who came today use the same scales, or a different set?

I'm not convinced that a 12 day old baby knows the difference between suckling for food or suckling for comfort; if he is suckling and getting milk into him, that is a great result. Let him suckle as much as he wants. And like now, check for his jaw movement; if you can see his ears moving up and down then he is getting something and isn't asleep. If he is falling asleep though, try undressing him and doing some skin to skin contact (solves lots of BFing problems) or tickle his toes to wake him up or change him then put him back on.

How many times a day/night is he feeding? and how many pooey nappies is he producing?

there are some great pages on www.kellymom.com that deal wioth all aspects of BFing and any potential problems.

Another great idea is to take to bed for a few days and get in as much skin to skin contact as possible and let him feed freely (getting the knack of lying down to feed makes it a whole lot easier as well).

Unfortunately, it does take time to get BFing established and that can be really hard, especially when you have other DCs to look after as well. Are they old enough to entertain themselves while you feed? If not, can they snuggle up to you and you can read to them or watch a nice film together?

i'm sure there's more but I can't think of anything at the minute. There will be other sagely advice along soon I'm sure

Cross posted with a few others and see you have answered the babymoon question already. You can still do skin to skin on the sofa with a dressing gown wrapped around you.

Sorry to hear about your less than supportive parents and inlaws . Can you point them in the direction of latest research that shows BFing is so much better for both you and the baby. Either that or tell em to mind their own; your baby, your rules. They will put it down to hormones and forgive you eventually

sorry 4 txt msg type replies, one hand

• between 45min - 1.30hr
• maybe 8-10 hrs
• sometimes but usually just one - for the sometimes i find at night both offered lying down
• late morning till about 2 or 3 - we nap here with ds2

thx starlight

That was ment to read my ds not she. Can you give some informative leaflets on the benifits of breastfeeding for mother and baby to the grandparents. I get so when people put forward their negatives views on bf. It can be stressful enough without negative pressure put uppon you.

am so glad i posted, be back asap
nappy changes etc...

x post great mind eh!!

Keep going...one friend got sent back to hospital only to find the local HV had written the birthweight wrong and therefore had calculated weightloss wrong.

Wet nappies are great...just relax about it, it will be fine, have confidence in your milk.

thanku all much,

will focus on b/f now n putting boys to bed will look link later in quiet time n post again

I am BFing DD3 who is 4 weeks today she was 8lbs 5ozs born, dropped to 7lbs 11ozs then went back up to 8lbs 1ozs I don't actually know if she has regained her birth weight as that was the last time she was weighed, however you can tell she's grown she's bursting out her clothes and looks bigger.

The thing is 20g is nothing babies can easily gain or lose more than that at this stage by having a good feed (gain) or if they have gone a few hours between feeds and had a good poo they could lose it so I agree the scales do more harm than good.

I have two others so know what you mean about feeling like you are neglecting them I actually bought mine some new DVDs.

Kellymom is a fantastic site, you are so not a failure newborns just love to suck at this stage it's what they do.

Your OP makes me so cross with health profs, worrying you over 10 measly grams!

My dc are fine, healthy children and none of them regained their birthweight before 1 month. They were all exclusively breastfed until on to solids at 5 to 6 months. At 1 week or so I remember ds's weight stood still for some days (mw still coming every day).

You have absolutely nothing to worry about, except worry itself if it causes you to doubt your ability to bf.

Giving the best start to my baby was my top priority with a newborn. Needs of the rest of the family came 2nd. They all survived.

Some great posts from Starlight, 3 cheers for her.

Sorry to hear about anti-bf relatives - that can be worse than medics. Remember my mil making ignorant comments about my milk coming in. Relatives who encourage ff are just being selfish - they want the opportunity to feed your baby and are either ignorant of or don't care about the hazards of formula milk. They also want to feel that they themselves did the best thing for their dc, when they were actually taken in by clever marketing or didn't have the bf support which is more available now.

Just wanted to thank everyone for their advice on this thread, didn't have a chance to post again.

Had very nice m/w visit yesterday who was more than supportive, told me to cancel GP appointment and that the problem was with baby's latch - she said i needed to refine my technique and spent a lot of time here watching me and helping me get it better.

Today i went to the b/f clinic and stayed for 3 hours. Got some great latches going and expressed too. Have come home feeling like a new me and not a frustrated failure Will continue percevering and hope we see some weight gain, in the meantime, thank you for your advice and what a difference support makes!! Some H/P's really shock me!

ChaCha

Great news ChaCha

Here's hoping you both go from strength to strength from here on in.

It's me again. Baby was weighed again yesterday (H/V was not due to visit but came anyway and weighed him) and weight is 'static'. We went to the b/f clinic on the Thursday and i felt things had been going better with the latch since that evening...so add Friday, Sat, Sunday and weight static.. have m/w again tomorrow to see weight too.

Not sure what to do now, i have had a different m/w and h/v each time almost, conflicting advice and feeling a bit of a mess today. H/V actually annoyed me with the putting words into my mouth like 'you must have your hands full with 3 under 3 not surprising you dont have time/it must be soul destroying not to see weight gain/perhaps we should be thinking about bottle now/don't feel bad etc... I was actually alright and confident enough before she started this (and she is not the first) but she almost had me in tears feeling sorry for myself. Also had m/w ask me 'so you had a c-sec' 'yes i did' (had an elective that was great) and reply was 'oh dear, poor you' What is wrong with these people? Or am i becoming paranoid or something?

Sorry, was not meant to rant but just looking for more support. Feeling like DS is not putting on the weight now and that i should really be introducing a bottle but i soooooooo didn't want to do that

Sorry for moan/rant