please help! 13 month still bfing through night and about 6 times a day - wanna get down to just one in morn and one before bed

[randomama]

Hi
My lovely DS is 13 months. He eats 3 meals a day plus 2 snacks and drinks between 3-5 sippy cups of water each day BUT he's still breastfeeding at least 5 times a day. He's talking and pulls my top down and says 'booba wandat' and is very persistent. He also feeds throughout the night.
I feed him to sleep for 2 naps a day (I know! I know!) and feed him before bed (but let him fall asleep with me next to him) at night.
When DP has him (2 days a week while I study) he is fine and doesn't miss the breast - DP slings him or prams him to sleep for his naps. He started with a childminder today and didn't eat or nap at all. When I went to pick him up he lurched for my breasts. She thinks he's been grumpy cos he hasn't had the comfort of the breast, I'm inclined to agree so wanna wean him fast down to just one before bed and one in the morning to make all our lives easier. HELP PLEASE!!!!!
Thanks in advance

Also, he doesn't seem to like cow's milk and I really hate pumping so would appreciate alternative recommendations. Also, is it too late to introduce him to a bottle (he's never had one)? Would milk in a cup satisfy the comfort issue?

bump!

can you not just say no? I think if he eats dairy like cheese and yoghurt then 2 bf a day would guve him plenty of calcium so I wouldn't worry about cow's milk, bottles etc. I would start by ditching the night feeds and work through the daytime ones one at a time

My DD is 11 months and im having the same issues!!

She spits cows milk out

Saying no is soooooooo hard!!!!!!!!

My instinct, and I stress I have no research based evidence to back this up, has always been to bf on demand even at this age. This will not last for ever, whatever you do. No need ever to offer, if baby knows what he wants. I wonder whether he is noticing he can't bf when with cm or daddy and wants to stake his claim. Plus it's summer and he's more thirsty. If he knows he can have it, he will feel more secure, and gradually will want it less often because he'll want to be exploring the world. My ds was still on the breast at this age and resisted my not very insistent attempts to wean him. The bf gradually became less and less frequent. I feel that if you let them have this, you can be firm over other issues, eg no you can't run into the road, yes you must pick these toys up, bedtime is now. it's called picking your battles.

Don't let the cm influence you over this. I don't think it would make her relationship with him any easier if you deny him bf. What will improve his relationship with cm is time and getting used to each other. It will all come out in the wash.

Sorry no short term solution - leave it alone and it will sort itself out.

PS - Edie my dds were not keen on cow's milk at a year old either. It is not essential. They were both weaned from the breast at a year, and did eat other dairy products such as cheese and yoghurt. Now at nearly 14 and 12 respectively they have no tooth decay at all between them. So they can't be short of calcium I reckon. And yes, they do eat a few sweets.

thanks everyone for your advice. I tried not bfing him today - wore a top in which he couldn't see my boobs, stayed out of the sun, gave him a LOT of water and it kinda wasn't a problem. Took him out for a nap in his sling so didn't need to feed him to sleep (just did one nap today) He did ask for boobah just before his tea but I just gave him food instead and that kept him distracted til after his bath. He had cheese for lunch and yoghurt for tea so I'm not worrying about his calcium. Have just bfed him and put him to bed. Am gonna try and cut out the night feeds too though. If I can get it to one in the am and one before bed I'll be happy as larry.
Spoke to the cm and informed her of the progress - now she wants me to teach him how to sleep for his nap without being bounced in the sling. I understand where she's comin from completely but Aghhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Thanks for all your help!

PS Edie - he drank soya milk fine at his cm's. I don't know how you feel about soya milk but maybe worth a try if you wanna stick to a milky vibe x

Why can't the cm bounce him in a sling?

Can't the CM rock him in his pram?, snuggle on sofa with him?

Hi there, my DS went to CM at 6 months and he was demand fed, fed to sleep for naps and at night, or slept in the sling. He's now 1 year old and when he's with me he still does all those things, but his CM has found her own ways to settle him down. She uses the buggy, the car, snuggling with him on the sofa - and it usually works fine. Sometimes he misses a nap, but we just catch up with longer sleeps when he's back with me. I think it's your CM who should be working out how your DS can get to sleep when he's with her. From our experience with our DS it seems much easier for people other than me to find different ways of getting him to sleep. With mum he wants boobs or cuddly sling time!

Hi sorry no advice atall, just wanted to say i am in exactly the same situation, my dd is nearly 13months and when I am around she wants to bf all day and is also very demanding...

Well done for not bf much yesterday, I am going to try to do the same today...

Keep us posted as will keep an eye on how you are doing, maybe we should all start a weaning thread to support each other and give ideas... Good luck...

As Lyra75 mentioned, your CM should be trying ways to settle your son when he is with her as he will respond differently even if the same things are done as it is a different person than when he is in your care.

Thanks everyone!
Re the CM thing. Yeah I kind of agree. Have left the sling there (just a soft structured carrier - buckles job - nothing difficult like a wrap) but she said no she didn't have time to sling him. that's totally fair enough - she has other kids to look after but yes I'm inclined to agree that it is kind of her job to get him to sleep when he's there. Have had another successful day only bfing till 9am then before bed. He;s handling it really well. There's been a few shirt grabbing "boobah" times but he's been distractable. I guess I don't want to do too much at once. He's had unfettered access to me (and my boobs) for 13 months. I kind of feel that it's enough to wean him (am on first night of night weaning too tonight - so far, so good - he's woke 3 times - once settled himself back after a minute of shouting so I didn't go in, twice I've just gone in and let him grab my nose and mouth and he's gone back asleep) When he's got his head round a) going to childminder at all; b) not gettin boobah in the day time c) not gettin boobah at night THEN I might start to think about d) getting him to sleep through and only then e) teaching him how to nap without the sling/buggy. Thanks everyone for all your help and support - and yes mamachat, lemme know if you start a weaning thread.
xoxox

just read back and it hadn't come across right - when I say kind of CM's job to get him to sleep i don't mean 'it's her job' in an edgy way just that yes i'm sure she can find a way that he does it THERE and we can maybe have a way we do things here that's different - we're different people as you say MNP. xoxox