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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

woman at work called me 'bitty'

60 replies

timewaster · 26/07/2008 21:50

Was upset this morning when talking to a couple of women at work. Both of them have bf their babies and I was saying that I would like to slowly start to wean ds off the breast, but wanted to do it gradually so as not to traumatise ds (or myself either!)
One of the women, an older one started saying 'bitty' and said that I should just stop feeding him full stop, refuse the breast and 'just stop it'. She implied that I was feeding him for my own benefit and not his, that he didn't need breast milk anymore, had his own antibodies and only women in 3rd world countries should bf their babies for longer than a few months.
I tried to talk about the emotional element of bf and was given a look, and told to give him a cup of cow's milk.
I know it is nothing new, read similar threads on here before, but really upset me and made me feel like I am weird stupid woman doing something shameful.
Dh said to me this evening that I should just have told her to feck off. I am too nice for my own good!
ds is 11 months old! Still a baby!

OP posts:
zwiggy · 26/07/2008 21:51

Call her 'bubbles'

tigana · 26/07/2008 21:52

Just tell them they are being old-fashioned. That'll shut them up !

onepieceoflollipop · 26/07/2008 21:52

What an unpleasant woman. (and ill-informed)

thumbwitch · 26/07/2008 21:54

How very rude - how dare she! and as lollipop said, very ill-informed, especially in the light of the recent thread that was discussing the fact that Scotland are now recommending bf'ing for up to 2 years!
Dozy, obnoxious cow.

zwiggy · 26/07/2008 21:56

sorry. anyway, you shouldn't tell her or people who you don't think will be sympathetic, you don't need them to be puting their antiquated views onto you.

People keep telling me to leave my baby to cry cos he won't sleep through the night, - I have this urge to eduucate them into civilised behaviour almost to the point that I feel its my duty to tell them, - but not at the expense of your own emotional well-being. F**k 'em , you know you are doing the right thing

PhDlifeNeedsaNewLife · 26/07/2008 21:56

sounds like SOMEONE has ishoos! (not you, timewaster )

Jackstini · 26/07/2008 21:57

She is clueless. Carry on bfing as long as you want and there is nothing wrong with trying to make weaning less stressful!
Of course dd will still be getting benefit - and you can't 'force' a baby to bf so if she didn't want to, she wouldn't!
And anyway, cows milk at 11 months? The woman is very ill informed.
Where are you - I am quite happy to go and feed my dd (2.4) in front of her!

PortAndLemon · 26/07/2008 21:59

I'd go in on Monday with a photo of your DS, a photo of David Walliams, and say "From our conversation yesterday, I think you may have been confused. This is an eleven-month old baby. This is a thirty-six year old man. I suggest you study them until you can tell the difference, as you seemed to be having some trouble yesterday."

Potentially, also bring in a bibliography of articles about why extended breastfeeding is a good thing, and add "When you've mastered that, here is a list of the scientific evidence that supports breastfeeding until at least two as being medically advisable. When you've read all those articles, feel free to come back and criticise the way I am raising my child, but until then please butt out and mind your own business."

MingMingtheWonderPet · 26/07/2008 22:00

Tell the to 'F* Off'

ReallyTired · 26/07/2008 22:00

She is a prat and probably has her own issues. Breastfeeding is one of those subjects that is emotionally charged.

Many women are not quite right in the head when it comes to discussing brestfeeding. Women seem be mixture of being jealous or feeling gulity. Or else they think they are in some sad competition.

Its OK for feed an 11 month old baby, its OK to feed a two year old. Just because they weaned before you does not mean you have to copy them.

The bitty sketch in little Britain is funny because its about a grown middle age man who is still breastfeeding.

thumbwitch · 26/07/2008 22:06

PMSL at PortaAndLemon

ExterminAitch · 26/07/2008 22:07

i wouldn't get too cross. she's a cow and you're doing a great job for your BABY.

Califrau · 26/07/2008 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

morningpaper · 26/07/2008 22:16

inappropriate lolol @ "call her bubbles"

timewaster · 26/07/2008 22:22

Sorry I abandoned my own thread so early on, had to attend to a wailing infant.
(of course he didn't really need milk, I just wanted to interrupt my mumsnetting and go and sit in the bedroom with him for my own selfish reasons. If I was thinking of him I would have left him thirsty and crying on this hot night!!)
You are all right of course, and thankyou for cheering me up. Think the guilt/jealousy/competition idea is right. Shame women can't be more supportive of each other eh?

OP posts:
kiskidee · 27/07/2008 21:51

If it comes up again, ask her why she thinks that the milk from a cow's breast is better than the milk from a human breast for your son.

Then ask her if she has even smelled the stench of a milking parlour.

Get a picture of Theo Walcott. He was breastfed till he was 3 or 4.

amner · 27/07/2008 21:55

What a shame for you.

You are absolutely doing the right thing and don't let anyone doubt you on that.

theSuburbanDryad · 27/07/2008 21:55

My ds now asks for "bitty" when he wants milk. I've no idea why, as he's never even seen LB...I wonder if he's trying to say "milky"!

We can come and bf in your office if you like?

Spidermama · 27/07/2008 21:58

You could look at her sympathetically if she does it again and say, softly and sincerely, 'Oh dear. Have I touched a nerve?'

RuthT · 27/07/2008 22:00

Ignore, ignore ignore

You make your own decisions and she makes hers.

MadameOvary · 27/07/2008 22:03

God how dare she???
for you.
What right has she to comment on such a personal and private decision?

Maybe she still sucks her thumb at night and is jealous of your LO.

If she says anything else just picture that and say "Er..yeah right"

beansprout · 27/07/2008 22:04

I thought your ds was going to be at least 2yo from their reaction!!

I b/fed ds1 until he wanted to stop, this turned out to be when he was about 3.3yo.
She clearly knows very little about b/feeding so I really wouldn't worry about she thinks. You mustn't feel the need to defend something as fab as giving your baby b/milk.

When faced with this sort of comment I always used to say, "oh really, the World Health Organisation recommend b/feeding until they are at least two" and smile sweetly.

thisisyesterday · 27/07/2008 22:04

forget about them, ignorant twats.

tearinghairout · 27/07/2008 22:08

Don't let oher people's opinions upset you - water off a duck's back. Why should what they think be more valid for your baby? You know best.

It does sound as though she is jealous for some reason.

chipmonkey · 27/07/2008 23:01

Oooh, I like Spidermama's retort!