Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Pregnant and Nursing Support Thread

535 replies

TinkerBellesMum · 25/07/2008 10:06

I thought I'd start up a support group, for those of us pregnant, with an older nursling. If you are pregnant at the moment or tandeming or have done in the past and want to add your support, please post!

I'm 12 weeks pregnant and have a 2 and a week year old. One of the first things I noticed about being pregnant was my nipples felt bruised like she'd bitten me. 8 weeks later not much has changed and I'm still spending every feed saying "gentle please".

Someone please tell me it gets easier!

I'm also starting to feel quite full and hard.

I keep getting told by my family I'll have problems tandem feeding "and how many mothers do you know who have done it?" My dad was grilling me the other day about tandeming and when I'll stop Tink nursing. He's a radiographer. I made him agree with me "Well, you know yourself that when the adult teeth come through because they're in a totally different order to the milk teeth the jaw changes shape" "Yes and around the same time the soft spot in the jaw fuses" "That change makes it impossible for them to continue nursing, that's why they got called milk teeth" lol how could he argue when he'd just backed my argument up!

OP posts:
CantSleepWontSleep · 01/01/2009 21:26

empathies wmmc. I don't manage to finish feeding ds (12 wks tomorrow) before dd (2.10 yrs) is trying to jump up for a feed. Sometimes I have to take ds off to give dd a bit and then put ds back on to finish in peace.

With you on the reduction in solids too BE.

Ds thriving though .

BabiesEverywhere · 01/01/2009 21:35

CantSleepWontSleep, Have you tried nursing them together ?

I find a big long pillow is helpful and I place toddler under one arm and the baby under the other in the rugby ball position. I latch the baby on first before letting the toddler latch herself.

IMO it is worth learning to nurse them together for peace in the afternoon, early evening when they are both either tired, hungry or whingy.

CantSleepWontSleep · 01/01/2009 21:41

I do do them together sometimes, but I try to limit dd's feeding time during the day, so don't want her thinking it's easy . It's actually not v easy as I seem to need 2 hands to get a good latch with ds (huge norks) .

MarxAndSparks · 01/01/2009 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hellymelly · 01/01/2009 22:32

I fed all through my last preg,my daughter stopped just before the baby was born and now I wish I had encouraged her more to tandem feed but she was two and four months and insisted she was a "big girl"
I found my nipples were very tender for the first trimester,easier after that.I think my supply did dip too as I got bitten a few times and looking back I think that was why.Am really glad I fed for so long though.

MarxAndSparks · 02/01/2009 14:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onwardandmerrilyupward · 02/01/2009 16:36

Tenderness was much much less for me in the second trimester, but I have to confess that it's getting worse again as my due date approaches...

PinkPoinsettias · 02/01/2009 18:55

just thought i'd pop on to say TBM had her baby girl

she's not gotton online to give many details yet but both doing ok

BabiesEverywhere · 02/01/2009 19:17

Big congratulations to TBM and her new baby

CantSleepWontSleep · 05/01/2009 21:13

Lovely news. Congrats to TBM .

splishsplosh · 09/01/2009 16:51

Congratulations to TBM

dd2 is 3.5months now, and it's going well.
dd1, who's nearly 3 is getting a bit more demanding about milk though. Last few mornings she's woken up before 7 saying she wants milk. I try and say it's a bit too early to get up, then she starts shouyting I want milk now, until baby wakes... v upsetting! She also asks for it more (i just stick to first thing and bedtime, except when she was ill a few weeks ago and not wanting to eat).

naturalbaby · 09/01/2009 21:53

ooo, what a fab thread. i have an 8month old and am 10weeks pregnant. was planning on BF for at least a year so may or may not be an overlap but will be interesting to see what he does when newborn is feeding. not done too much research into tandem feeding yet but am prepared to do it if i'm still feeding him at that stage. am very much a 'if you tell me what to do, i'll do the opposite' person, so if enough midwives and health visitors suggest i start bottle feeding, i'll definately be tandem feeding!

CantSleepWontSleep · 09/01/2009 21:56

Hi splishsplosh - my dd has been getting up at 3:30am (and other random times) to ask for milk. I think she's a bit jealous that ds sleeps with us and has milk during the night.
Her daytime requests have got quite ridiculous too (we were just doing one daytime feed most but not every day before, plus first thing and last thing), so I've now told her that she doesn't need all of this milk just because ds has it, and that she can have it first thing and last thing only. We've stuck with it for a few days now, and her daytime requests have lessened thankfully, so I think she realises that I mean business! Her first thing and last thing feeds are very long though, as she excitedly tells me that she wants lots and lots and lots and lots!

splishsplosh · 09/01/2009 22:23

Cantsleep - dd2 is in bed with me, and dd1 is in a cot in the same room, so I did think maybe she was a bit jealous of that. Thank goodness she hasn't tried it at 3.30 yet.

She's quite funny in that sometimes she'll pull my top back down after dd2 has finished if I haven't done it yet and says it's to stop her just helping herself!

She asks a lot too but I just explain how dd2 can only have milk whereas she can have lots of lovely things like chocolate. She loves it so much I wonder when on earth she'll ever decide to stop.

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 10/01/2009 00:26

Hi all.

Sîan was born 2/1/09 at 3:44am, 35+5 weeks, 4lb 8oz. She went to NNU because she was grunting (whatever that means) and there wasn't a bed for a baby her size anywhere else.

Tink has taken really well to her. I was worried about nursing in front of her so first time Mum took her to the shop, the second time Mum said "she has to get used to it sometime", yes but I had hoped she would be used to Sîan first! She surprised me because she went from not going anywhere near her to wanting to sit on the bed next to me and stick stickers all over her sister! I think the conversations about how FiFi will want Me-Me too and she has to show her how to do it as the big sister have paid off!

onwardandupward · 10/01/2009 10:03

aaand she's back. We've missed you TBMaFF2

BabiesEverywhere · 10/01/2009 11:44

Tink, great to hear from you and it sounds like everything is going well with both your girls

Congratulations on the safe arrival of little Sian

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 10/01/2009 14:45

Aww thanks O&U!

I did my first nurse of Tink last night, she wouldn't settle and wanted to go downstairs at some stupid hour, so I offered her me-me. I felt like my breast was going to come out my nipple! I'm not sure what she was doing and she didn't like me stopping her a couple of times.

We ended up four in a bed last night and playing musical beds when Sîan needed a feed or Tink was kicking the blankets off... Mum has told me off this morning for co-sleeping. I think she is confused by a couple of things. A baby that her office was dealing with died of suffocation from co-sleeping and the mother hung herself She was told by a nurse that all the nurses were complaining I was falling asleep with Sîan in bed with me (I'll come back to this point). I tried to explain that it's the safest place for baby to sleep if you follow the guidelines but she doesn't accept that there are guidelines "The NHS doesn't have any" (I'm trained as a peer supporter by the NHS so I know that the NHS does have a policy).

Anyway, to come back to that point. I'm really cross with the hospital, they have baby friendly status but I have had a nurse asking why I'm not giving a dummy (in a telling not asking way) and I've had them constantly telling me off for co-sleeping. On one hand I understand that co-sleeping in hospital is probably a little riskier, you have a single bed and a hard floor, if anything happens the hospital would be in trouble, OTOH part of Baby Friendly status means they're supposed to support co-sleeping. I'm thinking of telling the PCT Breastfeeding Department.

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 10/01/2009 14:46

Sorry that should have said "O&U and BabiesEverywhere"

Grendle · 11/01/2009 00:48

Congratulations TBM&FF2 .

Have you had that feeling yet hwere you look at your toddler and it's like breastfeeding a giant because the new baby seems so tiny in comparison ?

Definitely let the local breastfeeding people know when you get the chance, as not everyone will have the knowledge to stand their ground like you did.

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 11/01/2009 01:30

Tell me about it! I kept thinking how Sîan is noty much bigger than GTink was, then Tink came into the Unit and looked massive! It was strange nursing her too - but nice that she didn't need any help so I could forget about her and go to sleep!

If I report them it will be to my trainer so easily done. I may also bring it up at the breastfeeding group I used to go to - I may not be having any problems but I'd rather have the back up if I do, rather than getting stressed over a HV giving me bad advice - they train the nurses/MWs at the hospital so they may be able to do something about it (they used to ask me about the advice I was given when I mentioned someone's name that they knew) one of them works there too.

It's not just standing their ground, it's about an understanding (as far as co-sleeping is concerned) of why they say no, that it's a hospital thing but safe at home.

The thing is though, if I hadn't had her in with me I wouldn't have slept. She woke and rooted as soon as she was put down, so if I had put her down at the end of a feed I would have had to pick her straight up and fed her (no sleeping during the feed). By letting her stay with me we both got to get some sleep. I'm sure that was safer than not getting any sleep at all.

Stretch · 13/01/2009 16:02

Hi all!! Glad I found this, it will be very useful!

Just found out I am expecting number 4! I'm still bf DS, he's 8 months and I'm 5 weeks pregnant.

Congratulations TinkerBellesmum!! Gorgeous name!!

BabiesEverywhere · 15/01/2009 09:13

Congratulations Stretch All the best with breastfeeding through your pregnancy. Keep us posted.

Tink, We had a couple of run-in's with the nice midwives, as I kept falling asleep with DS in bed AND we were lying down nursing on the side the side cot was on so he wouldn't of gone anywhere

We were lucky that at my hospital they did provide a small plastic side car cot which they attached to the side of my bed, handy for being close to baby after a C section

Update on us, we are still tandem nursing with 5 month old DS and 2.5 year old DD. Things are going relatively well, except DD has regressed re being dry and clean for over a year to being clean and using nappies (!!!) for wee on purpose. Plus despite being in her own room and own bed for over a year, she is back with us and the baby.

Argghh. I don't think these things are linked to breastfeeding, more the arrival of her little brother. This too will pass

CantSleepWontSleep · 17/01/2009 09:58

Oh BE I can relate to some of that. We've had poos on the floor and smeared all over the bathroom and bedroom this week , as well as lots of refusals to go to bed and getting up in the night (dd 2.11).

idontbelieveit · 17/01/2009 10:20

hi all, am 38 weeks on mon and have dd 2,7 who is still bfing.
I think i've posted on this thread before but right near the beginning.
BE - am worried about dd regressing with the nappies, her mattress arrives for her big girl bed on tues but i'm wondering if we should leave things as they are with the cot in her own room for another couple of months now....
She went from feeding once a week before christmas to feeding every day for the last 2 weeks, i guess my milk must have come in. i was quite relieved when i thought she had stopped but it looks like i'll be tandem feeding after all.