Im 22, my ds1 is 3.6, and was bottlefed. I was 18, and single when I had him, and it NEVER occured to me to breastfeed. It didnt once cross my mind, and I never felt bad about it because I didnt think I was doing anything unnatural.
Nearly three years later, I meet wonderful dp, and get pregnant again (hence MN membership . Even through all my pregnancy, and despite all mn pro bf threads, it still never registered in my mind that bf was best - and tbh, I think this is why a lot of people ff. It just doesnt register .
Ds2 is born, and at hospital, I ff. By the time I got home, I was overcome with MASSIVE guilt for not bfeeding. I just looked at him, and felt so guilty.
HOWEVER - as I have posted before - I have very big body issues (eating disorders, no confidence) and I couldnt bring myself to bf infront of people, including my dp, despite wanting to more than anything. I realise that bf is about more than just the milk, but I at least wantede to give him that, so I bought a breast pump and started pumping away when he was 6 days old.
I did try bf him, but only when the house was empty, and was even embarassed to tell dp (although I did).
I carried on pumping, and still do now (8weeks later) and put ds2 on my breast when he wakes in the night, but this is only at 4am, and Im sure he only sucks for 2mins, then falls asleep again (I put him in my bed at this point and go back to sleep).
However, now my milk supply has gone down, so much so that ds2 cries (during the day) if I try and put him on it, as he knows not much will come out.
When I pump, I get about an ounce a time, whereas I used to get about 3.
SOOOOOO;
Is it worth carrying on, as Id love nothing more than to bf him exclusively?
I know that I only started taking milk out of my breasts when he was 6 days old, they
may have already decided not to make enough milk.
How/Can I get the supply up to feed exclusively, or even, just more . This is my main concern. I understand the benefits, and want to be closer to my son. Id do anything to get the supply up, and more pumping just doesnt seem to be working.
I have wierd feelings about it, as it does embarrass me, and I feel v strongly about it now, whereas when I was pg (9 weeks ago) I didnt.
Im strange, I know.
I just wanted to ask for advice, and also, maybe, to let people know, that formula feeding isnt as simple as "I just didnt want to", or "It didnt work for me".
There really are 100's of reasons why people ff.