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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

My BOTTLEfeeding story - ALSO expert advice wanted too please.

61 replies

flubdub · 26/06/2008 20:28

Im 22, my ds1 is 3.6, and was bottlefed. I was 18, and single when I had him, and it NEVER occured to me to breastfeed. It didnt once cross my mind, and I never felt bad about it because I didnt think I was doing anything unnatural.

Nearly three years later, I meet wonderful dp, and get pregnant again (hence MN membership . Even through all my pregnancy, and despite all mn pro bf threads, it still never registered in my mind that bf was best - and tbh, I think this is why a lot of people ff. It just doesnt register .

Ds2 is born, and at hospital, I ff. By the time I got home, I was overcome with MASSIVE guilt for not bfeeding. I just looked at him, and felt so guilty.

HOWEVER - as I have posted before - I have very big body issues (eating disorders, no confidence) and I couldnt bring myself to bf infront of people, including my dp, despite wanting to more than anything. I realise that bf is about more than just the milk, but I at least wantede to give him that, so I bought a breast pump and started pumping away when he was 6 days old.
I did try bf him, but only when the house was empty, and was even embarassed to tell dp (although I did).
I carried on pumping, and still do now (8weeks later) and put ds2 on my breast when he wakes in the night, but this is only at 4am, and Im sure he only sucks for 2mins, then falls asleep again (I put him in my bed at this point and go back to sleep).
However, now my milk supply has gone down, so much so that ds2 cries (during the day) if I try and put him on it, as he knows not much will come out.

When I pump, I get about an ounce a time, whereas I used to get about 3.

SOOOOOO;
Is it worth carrying on, as Id love nothing more than to bf him exclusively?
I know that I only started taking milk out of my breasts when he was 6 days old, they
may have already decided not to make enough milk.

How/Can I get the supply up to feed exclusively, or even, just more . This is my main concern. I understand the benefits, and want to be closer to my son. Id do anything to get the supply up, and more pumping just doesnt seem to be working.

I have wierd feelings about it, as it does embarrass me, and I feel v strongly about it now, whereas when I was pg (9 weeks ago) I didnt.
Im strange, I know.

I just wanted to ask for advice, and also, maybe, to let people know, that formula feeding isnt as simple as "I just didnt want to", or "It didnt work for me".
There really are 100's of reasons why people ff.

OP posts:
flubdub · 26/06/2008 21:50

Oh everyones so nice!!

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poshtottie · 26/06/2008 21:53

There is medication you can get on prescription which can help increase supply, though not sure at what point it is prescribed. Its called domperidone I think.

flubdub · 26/06/2008 21:54

Iv just checked ncts website, and my nearest is 14 miles away.

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poshtottie · 26/06/2008 21:57

Ring them anyway and see if they know anyone. What about ABM association of breastfeeding mothers? Or la leche league.

flubdub · 26/06/2008 22:00

Aha, la leche leugue, maybe will ring them, as iv been on their website a lot, but never thought of ringing them.

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kkdmom · 27/06/2008 01:40

be a star website

tiktok · 27/06/2008 09:35

flubdub, your story is heartbreaking....what a star you are in facing up to your demons!!

NCT does not work by 'having a person in each area' - quite the opposite. We are a national service, and we work nationally. Where there are local breastfeeding counsellors, they will work locally but as there are only about 300 of us we are not everywhere. Call the NCT line, and/or any of the others, and someone will listen and give you support and outline your options.

In your case, the only thing that will preserve your milk supply is frequent removal of milk from the breasts...this means at least 8 x in 24 hours inc at least once at night. You prob have a pretty good underlying potential for bf, as you got off to a sticky start and have prob not been expressing/feeding anything like this often, but you have milk still - fantastic!

Breastfeeding counsellors know (from their training and experience with mothers) that not breastfeeding may be a very complex set of feelings and responses. No one will judge you, except to think you are great for battling on

StealthPolarBear · 27/06/2008 09:47

flubdub I hope you don't mind me asking this, you say you ff because the messages about bf didn't register - I assume you mean you didn't see the application to your situation? Did no-one ask, antenatally (your MW or whoever) about your feeding intentions and suggest breastfeeding? If that's the case, how do you feel about that?
I am impressed by you pumping for this long, I hated pumping and always found I would get a fraction of what my baby was getting - I hope you can get to where you want to be.

chipmonkey · 27/06/2008 10:47

flubdub, have you tried taking domperidone/motilium to help increase supply?

TheDuchessOfNorksBride · 27/06/2008 11:09

hi flub - I am expressing exclusively (baby 5 weeks old) and as well as using the pump at least 8 times a day (and don't worry if it's not evenly spaced out through the day), I've been advised to keep pumping for a couple of minutes after the milk has stopped flowing as it sends the message that more is required.

Pumping at night is the pits but I'm actually finding it's still quicker to express, give bottle and then get everything in the steriliser for the morning.

I do need to check when I can stop the night express - my other b/f DCs were both sleeping through at about 8 weeks and that didn't affect my supply. I expressed with another child and managed almost six months - hard work but quite possible. Good luck!

flubdub · 27/06/2008 11:10

Hi, thanks everyone.

Stealth - no, nobody ever asked me why I wasnt bf. ever.
At my antenatal classes (only went to them with ds1), the midwife asked how i intended to feed, I said bottle, and she said that they wernt allowed to discuss, or tell people how to bottle feed in the classes. Apart from that, when I was pg, nobody else asked.
After I had both ds's, nobody ever asked me why i didnt bf. Seems a shame really, as with ds2, I probably would have done with a little more pushing.
I didnt even try with ds1 and it didnt even cross my mind, but when I had ds2, I looked at him, and had over-whelming love for him, and realised that I couldnt actually say that I was giving him the very best, and didnt have a good reason for it either.

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flubdub · 27/06/2008 11:12

no, chip, havnt tried those drugs. Should I see how I go without? Or just get them?
If I spoke to a dr and explained my situation, would they prescibe them for me?

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LilRedWG · 27/06/2008 11:14

I'm not sure what pump you are using but I found that the only ones to work for me were hospital grade ones which you can hire. I went from getting less than an ounce, with a Avent electric pump, to at least 6oz a time.

I hired this one for eight weeks. It was well worth the money.

Any questions, please ask.

LilRedWG · 27/06/2008 11:15

Ask your midwife if she has one you could try, so you can see what it's like before you hire. My midwife lent me one for that day, whilst I was awaiting delivery of mone.

Good on you for perservering!

kkdmom · 27/06/2008 13:00

flub, in domperidone/motilium can be bought over the counter if i remember rightly. however, if you get it on prescription, it will be for free.

in order to re-build your supply with pumping, have you heard of/tried to 'power pump' or 'cluster pump' I think they are called.

kkdmom · 27/06/2008 13:07

i searched my old posts in the archives and found this:

power pumping: pump every 2 hrs round the clock for 2 days will boost your supply as it is mimicing a natural growth spurt. Enlist friends/family to help look after your dd in this scenario.

cluster pumping: pump for 5 - 10 mins every 45 mins for a few hrs every few days. (you only need to wash your pump every 4 - 6 hrs)

you may already figured this out but also, when your flow is slowing down, feel your breast for the pea-like structures which are actually milk sinuses. If you hold your breast in a C between your thumb and fore fingers where you can feel the milk, it helps to drain it better when the milk flow is slowing down. the more milk you remove, the more you make.

I found the Ameda Lactaline an excellent electric breastpump and quite reasonably priced. Their customer service was impeccable when my first pump needed repair.

I am sure that the new Medela pumps are great too but they cost more than the Lactaline but also look trendier - or as trendy as a breastpump can be.

i really recommend phoning hte helplines (again) if you haven't yet.

I have posted the info re pumping because at the moment you will have to continue milk removal this way but i think it would be fantastic if you could get back to feeding direct.

flubdub · 27/06/2008 20:05

thanks kkdmom, thats all fantastic advice

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pandaface · 27/06/2008 20:13

I dont understand this! Another example of pussyfooting around ff-ers.

The op got pg, and therefore made a promise to do the best by her baby. She didnt, and DIDNT EVEN TRY with her first.
She didnt do her best, and still isnt, so why is she being applauded?

I understand that it must be hard wrt the body issues, and confidence, but still, shouldnt all that be overcome before having a baby? After all, bf is NATURES WAY. Its the ONLY way the human race was intended to survive, so why is it ok for some mothers to be so flippan about it?

chipmonkey · 27/06/2008 20:33

pandaface! If everyone had to get over issues which made their parenting less than optimal, then no-one in the world would ever have a baby! Not very constructive! If flubdub takes the advice everyone has given her and her baby gets one more ounce of BM per day, then we will have done some good and without giving breastfeeders a bad name!
flubdub is doing brilliantly given the formula-feeding culture she was brought up in and I for one am behind her all the way!

flubdub · 27/06/2008 20:36

thanks pandaface, really constructive, and helpful advice there.

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Seona1973 · 27/06/2008 20:47

not judgemental at all there are you pandaface

Aitch · 27/06/2008 20:49

flub, ignore. it's a troll. probably aged 15 and avoiding his maths homework.

i did that thing of going hell for leather and pumping round the clock. every two hours during the day and every (as i recall) three to four at night. for two freaking days... except i was a bit nuts at the time and did it for nearly three.

not a Great Laugh, deffo, but it helped me quite a bit with my supply. you know that a lot of hospitals will lend you really good pumps (that have loads of dials on and are just a bit cleverer) if you give them a ring? good luck, you're playing a blinder here with everything you've got against you. well done. and if it doesn't work out, well, you'll know that you gave it a bloody good shot and hopefully will go easy on yourself this time.

Jackstini · 27/06/2008 20:55

Ignore Pandatwat Flub - I think you are doing absolutely brilliantly and glad to see you are getting lots of support on here from most people.
It is definitely worth carrying on, if you are still getting an oz out a pump your supply is still there. I am still feeding dd and not been able to pump for nearly a year! Keep at it, the more you feed the more you produce.
You mention not being able to feed in front of family, how about strangers?
Some people find it easier to breastfeed in a bf support group or a bf cafe where others are doing the same thing, but you haven't grown up knowing them iyswim?
Where are you? There may be MNers who know good local places and may even back you up feeding

Tigger13 · 27/06/2008 20:56

I think you are doing amazingly flubdub, I wouldn't of had a clue at 18 and think you are doing a fantastic job by trying to get some help and even a few days of breast feeding is great.

I am breast feeding DS3 who is 6 weeks old and even though I have breast fed all of them I have experienced how hard it is to try feeding in front of others. I have seen health care workers falling to support and advise young mums on the benefits of breast feeding.

So go girl I admire you

flubdub · 27/06/2008 20:56

Thanks aitch
Am loving the trolls thread

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