Bf-ing to sleep - any ideas of how to prise baby off the nipple?!

[Annie75]

Yep, I know it probably wasn't a wise routine to start with, but DD had a colicky six months and it was the only way to ensure I had any semblance of an evening. So, am still happily feeding her to sleep at night and she goes off pretty rapidly, but I'm sort of stuck there trying to ease my nipple out until she's so asleep that she lets me. I'm aware I can't continue like this and if anyone ever watched my attempts to sneak off each night they'd be in stitches.

Anyone else been in this position and have any advice? I should add that I still co-sleep and she does still feed at night (she's 10 months) - I'm okay with this.

do you mean break the latch? hook your little finger in babys mouth and sort of pull it out.

lightly blow on the wee one?

Second the little finger into the baby's mouth

Oh right. Just realised it's not clear what I'm asking. It's more that I can get her off, but unless she's really deeply asleep she starts gasping for the nipple again and wakes up unless she gets it. I guess it's a case of me re-training her to sleep without bf at night, but that's a bit daunting...

was reading baby whisperer and no cry sleep solution last night, cant remember which it was but one of them said try to get them to sleep without the nipple in mouth. wait til they are almost asleep and pull them off nipple. if they want it back, let them have it til they are not really sucking, pull it out again. keep going til they dont want it back. you might have to do it a lot, but eventually they will do it. eventually they will go to sleep without needing to bf (still waiting for that to happen but i know step one works so i have confidence!). have a look for the books on amazon/ebay, they are v good and recommended by lots of people

Ace - thanks, Milknosugar. That's just the practical advice I needed. Will try that from tomorrow. How long did it take you for that to work?

Milknosugar, thats exactly how I got my dd to stop feeding to sleep. It took about a week and she still wakes up at night but at least dh can put her to bed now too.

Step one works, but I'm struggling with step two!

annie75, my dd very rarely allowed me to unlatch. As you describe, she would need to be very deeply asleep - and frequently take so long I would either be asleep myself or tearing my hair out, not least because I hate that 'duck-nibbling' fluttery comfort feeding. I co-slept with her as well.

I tried the No Cry Sleep Solution which milknosugar described but it did not work. The author Elizabeth Pantley has an unlatching technique called the Pantley Pull-off which I believe involves unlatching but your using your hand to put pressure on the lower lip to create the effect that they are still latched on. Well, it never worked with dd. Dd only slept through when I weaned from bf-ing at 17 months. That is probably not what you want to hear.

Ds is a different kettle of fish. He loves his night comfort feeds and we co-sleep as well. But he would more reliably allow me to unlatch him (finger in corner of mouth, nothing more). Sometimes he does not, and cries. But if I have had enough, I won't allow him to get on again. So he just sits there crying in my ear - pretty much a tantrum at being refused. Then after about 10 minutes, it blows over and he lies on me and gets cuddled down. But they are different babies and ds being my second, I was not having any more of that duck-nibbling.

You might want to try the Pantley Pull-off as see if that works.

This probably isn't very hygenic, but I always used a wet finger to de-latch mine. It seemed to work much better than a dry one. And I fed mine to sleep til they were practically school age - so I know whereof I speak!

lol at 'duck nibbling' - good way to describe it!

Blueshoes, how old is your ds? Just wondered as my ds still needs to be fed to sleep now and I'd like to break the habbit and let him self settle a bit. He's 10 months now and has never gone to sleep on his own. I'm in the same situation as you anna as ds was very coliky and high needs so I got into bad habbits! I formula feed now still have to feed him to sleep. Won't do Controlled Crying though so I think it may just be a case of waiting for him to be ready.

Sorry, anni, not anna!!

I use a finger then pull her v close to the top part of my ample busom for a few seconds. she seems to like being so close to the source of the milk and settles back down again. doesnt work every time though

violet, ds is 21 months! I would say he feeds for comfort, he is not hungry. At 10 months, if your ds' solid intake is well-established with 2 good meals a day and feeds during the day, there is a good chance he is just needing the sucking to fall asleep, rather than to fill his tummy.

I prefer to avoid CC as well, plus like annie75, I don't have a problem with co-sleeping. By 10 months, ds was usually too overexcited by bedtime to be able to nurse down.

You would probably think I was exchanging one bad habit for another (but I have no problems with rods for my back) ... since I knew ds would go to sleep in the buggy, I used to put him to sleep by wheeling him in the buggy. Our kitchen is big enough and has slate flooring, so dimmed lights, music and wheeled ds to sleep in there. When he woke, I would wheel him again. And take him up to bed with me, once I was ready to go to bed.

Ahh, I'm so releived to find people who don't have angel babies who drift off to sleep peacefully everynight in their cots! Thank you. I don't actually mind whether ds goes to sleep on his own but everyone else (friends and HV) seems to think it's a bad thing and I need to leave him to cry it out. There is no way I can even think of doing this. I tried for 3 minutes once but he got hysterical. He seriously gets very very upset very easily and is very sensitive. i have to respond to his cries immediately or he quickly goes into meltdown. He is so much better now he's mobile but he has always been very high needs and cried at the slightest thing. If I can prevent any more crying I will, so I'll continue to help him to get to sleep. Sorry for hijacking the thread annie75.

The Pantley Pull-Off in TNCSS worked for me. It was not an instantaneous solution though.

The rest of the book has many good suggetions, but this was the best of them all for me.

I think its a case of finding a pattern you're happy with. DS rarely falls asleep without some help - cuddle/boob/pushchair - but I don't mind so long as he doesn't always need to fall asleep feeding.

My compromise is to stick him in one of the slings and walk him round till he settles if he's not really feeding. We get whinges but if he graduates to full blown crying he gets the boob back. I often feed him in the ring sling then gently ease him into the tummy-tummy position, tightening the sling as I go. Then I'm free to at least go to the loo / mumsnet with 2 hands (instead of the 1 I am currently using because I can't be bothered to get the sling!)

Annie75 - am sleep training my ds - same problem as yours but also had a dummy. I was dreading doing any cc - so have used pick up put down. Its only day 3 and things have really improved - have introduced a lovely ( little cuddly) that I have with us when he feeds so it gets my smell). I did try the pantley method of gradual withdrawl of nipple, but he wasn't buying it. He has gone from 4 feeds in the night to 1 and is settling himself - I am so happy I could jump for joy

I only stopped feeding to sleep when stopped the go to bed night feed. Was fine. don't worry about it