Father struggling to feed/soothe 4-day old newborn

[SparklyEagle]

Father to a 4 day old. Partner is breastfeeding. I am trying to help with feeds as my partner is getting 0 sleep.

Online it says babies drink 1-2oz every 2-3 hours.

Day 1: We tried pumping 6oz to bottles with the idea of me sorting the baby while partner slept 9pm to 2am.

The baby had all 6oz by 11pm! and she was still screaming crying for more. I had to wake partner.

Day 2: I tried paced feeding. Baby was crying between breaks, and eventually threw up after 4oz, refused to take the bottle, and was screaming crying. I had to hand her to mum.

I'm at my wit's end. I think she sucks for soothing, not just eating. But she cant continue sucking the empty bottle, and we've been told not to give her a dummy yet.

Oh my goodness you must have misheard or they misspoke. Do not feed them 10oz!!

I would highly advise you call the national breastfeeding helpline. You or your wife can call

www.nationalbreastfeedinghelpline.org.uk

When are the midwives next coming? I think you need some advice from them.

The best thing I say about having a brand new baby is that you need to abandon the idea of night and day. For the first 2-3 weeks you are looking at a 24h clock with hours of day followed by hours of night. Babies in the womb have their nights and days the wrong way around and it can take up to 12 weeks for their circadian rhythm to set to our days and nights.

Baby needs to go no longer than 2h between most feeds and ideally less tha 3h between every feed until back at birth weight. .

When they are feeding on breast it's not just about hunger but telling the breasts that they will be needing more food at this time in the next few days.

The early days are gruelling. Let mum hold baby, you hold mum.

A newborn baby absolutely doesn't need 6oz of fluid at once into their 1oz capacity stomach.
They suck for comfort and from instinct and cannot control the flow of milk from a bottle.

If a breastfed baby is your goal then baby will need to spend a lot of the time on mum just now, but it’s not forever. Definitely quit the pumping unless it’s needed for another reason, and hold off the formula also unless indicated. If you have baby because mum is in the bath/shower and baby is fussing, sometimes a clean pinky finger soothes them. Time at the breast is about more than food, it’s safe and warm, smells right, and is about oxytocin. It really does get easier, so don’t panic.

Sorry, another comment to confirm that babies at this stage very often insist on being on the boob/ within sniffing distance of it. We found that me (mother) trying to get some more solid sleep early morning while my husband took the baby tended to work better. Congratulations!