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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Anybody still not got over breastfeeding failure?

85 replies

Tinkjon · 12/05/2008 11:18

I couldn't breastfeed my children who are now 5yo and 8mo (don't really want to get bogged down in the reasons, it just didn't work for us). I was distraught at the time and felt horribly guilty about it but I'd managed to let it go to some extent. The other day DD asked why I didn't give DS "milk from my breasts anymore" and I just burst into tears. BFing was not an enjoyable experience for us at all, so I am definitely happier in some respects, but I still feel so sad about not being able to do it. Anybody else?

OP posts:

tiktok · 14/05/2008 09:28

Bad link. Here it is:
www.mobimotherhood.org/MM/article-anemia.aspx

Pixiefish · 14/05/2008 10:20

my blog is here

Pixiefish · 14/05/2008 10:28

i am so glad i posted on this thread now. thank you for starting it OP.

tiktok- thank you for all your words and help- i had started to think it was one of those things and that my body had let me down. Now i realise that might not be the case and that there were things that could have been done that may have changed things. had i got to sharon sooner then things might not have got so bad, had i had more rest, another blood transfusion.... the list goes on and on BUT the main thing to me is that it wasn't nescessarily my body totally to blame- not that i blame anyone but i hope you see where i'm coming from.

thank you tiktok xx

tiktok · 14/05/2008 10:45

Pixie

jofeb04 · 14/05/2008 16:56

I still struggle with it at times tbh. Ds was in SCBU, needed feeding every hour down a tube. Felt so awful with that, decided not to bf dd (couldn't go through those guilt feelings again).

However, it is now 2 years ago, and even though I do struggle at times with the guilt, it is more todo with a loss of expectation and not able to do something as natural as b/f is.

However, I have also had much support on here from those in the know.

I'm slowly getting there, but even writing this is making me feel crap.

wurlywoo · 14/05/2008 21:07

Hi only just seen the thread but thought i would join in.

I too, feel a failure, I stopped after a mere 3 1/2 weeks mainly because it was getting me down and I thought I couldnt go out and have a bit of a life. Obviously you dont have much of a life after having a baby but you know what I mean!

I still get very guilty about it, but moving my dd paved the way for her to sleep through. I admire those women who don't give up and you really don't know how much hard work it is till you do it.

It didn't help that I had an elective c section so really wasn't physically up to it and PND was getting a hold of me.

I doubt this helps but thought I would share anyway!

verylittlecarrot · 17/05/2008 01:11

I don't want to be drummed out of town for this, because I excl bf babycarrot for 6 months. But I don't mean to be insensitive. I struggle hugely with how inadequately I managed to nourish my dd.

She barely gained any weight, and weighed less than 10lb at 6 months old. She gained only 3lb in the entire 6 months. Her weight gain on bm started on the low side of normal, but over the weeks it slowed to almost a halt, and I tried to tell myself it was 'normal' for her.

However her rate of weight gain has increased ridiculously now she's on solids, and as the paediatrician put it to me today "something wasn't quite right, was it?"

I sometimes really resent my poor little boobs because they failed her. And even though she's fine now, I just can't let it go. I NEED to understand what went wrong, because I tried so hard to make things better. And yet I still don't understand it, so I worry that if I ever have another baby, the same gutwrenching experience awaits me. And since I too have this 'at any price' mentality I know I would still make the same decisions and fight the same battles.

AitchTwoCiao · 17/05/2008 09:44

vlc...

tiktok · 17/05/2008 11:39

vlc, I can't remember all your story and what happened at the beginning - which can set the scene for future bf - but lots of things are not 'quite right' with children, and you got the substance ie what went into her! right, by bf.

If you have a look at Pixie's blog and the musings I made on it about why things were v. difficult for her, there may be some aspects of her experience that resonate with you.

Mine · 17/05/2008 14:54

does the guilt over not bf'ing enough/not at all etc ever go away i wonder or do we just transfer that guilt on to something else.....

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