im getting so sick of being told, bf in public is alright as long as its discreet! grrr

[milkgoddessmakesthefinestmilk]

well its not always that easy to do it discreatly.how fucking rude to say do not flaunt it

grr!!!
yes im cousin was asking me if i fed in public, i said yes, her and her husband started going on about how bf should be donediscrectly

they fucking asked me

i tried to explain that i dont believe any woman does it to flaunt it,he pipes up one i meet did. and went on to tell a really lame story of someone daring to bf in his presence.she had the attitude of i can do this anywhere, oh course she did ffs

i tried to explain its not that easy for some women to be discreet, and it was probably just a new mum, struggling really hard to do the best thing for her baby.

but they wouldnt listen to me,
started turning into a row
i am really fucking angry about this

But why would you NOT be discreet if you can?

When you use a public loo you have a choice. You can close the door and do what you have to do in private or leave it open and let everyone see/watch.

Obviously the first option gives both parties some dignity. So it makes sense to choose it.

Women like your cousin (milkgoddess) sound awful and do your cause no favours. She is out to shock and upset and offend. It's not about feeding the baby it's about getting a reaction.

Oh ffs. Yes, that's right. Bfing is just like going to the toilet. I've never heard that one before. It's really made me think.

AS a result I'm now going to stop feeding ds in public, as with a distractable baby and 32K sized norks it's almost impossible to be discreet and sometimes people might even see a bit of nipple as he latches himself on and off again. They certainly see a fair amount of boob as he pulls on my top. So I'll just stop.

Because yes, you're right. It's just like having a dump. Cracking analogy.

Nancy - if you're comparing bf-ing with urinating then you obviously don't know one end of a baby from the other...

I'm NOT comparing the two - I'm just saying that if you can breastfeed discreetly surely that's a better option?

Like Bridie says, why not just help yourself a little?

Nancy, what a weird comparison.

The baby is feeding. The mother is feeding. It is not like excreting - just because the milk comes out of the body and into the baby doesn't mean it's a Big Deal Private Rude and Unhygienic process.

Sheesh.

To ask mothers to do 'it' in private when they can (and there will be times when she is with toddlers, shopping, friends, when she physically can't go anywhere on her own with the baby) to protect other people's sensitivities is to make breastfeeding more difficult than it needs to be.

Why on earth would anyone want to make breastfeeding more difficult than it needs to me? Shouldn't we be trying to make it easier?

Define 'discreetly', Nancy?

How does whipping your top off, sitting half naked and verbally abusing people make it easier?

more like eating a sandwich

you could sit on a bench, spread a tablecloth on your lap, tuck a napkin in your collar and eat it off a nice china plate with a knife and fork and a sprig of parsley. And that's valid if it's what you want.

Or you could scoff it out the cardboard packet with minimum fuss while in the cafe / on the bus / in the dentist's waiting room / walking down the street if you'd rather.

Nancy, have you ever attempted to breastfeed?

I was told to bf my dd in the toilet of a train a few weeks ago. The train was packed, there were no seats, so I asked the ticket guy and he suggested the toilet.

Yuk. Needless to say I didn't do it. I was just about to sit on my suitcase in between carriages when a very kind lady gave me her seat.

If there were better bfing facilities it would be easier to be discreet.

(kiskidee I think she is still ttc)

i very much doubt you've actually seen a breastfeeding mother, stripped nekkid to the waist, belligerently nursing her baby whilst hurling abuse to the general public.

i never have...

and all too often IME it is the nursing mother who is the victim of verbal abuse first, which would raise up my mother bear instinct straight away!

would you ask a bottle feeding mum to be discreet? would you ask someone eating a Big Mac to be discreet?

You know what? Feet are sex objects to some people. But no one ever tells you to walk discreetly, taking care to show as little foot as possible when doing what your feet's primary purpose is.

But there are more breast fetishists than foot fetishists.

Just imagine a world in which breasts are no more highly sexualised than feet are, or any other body part that some people consider sexual but isn't actually genitalia. And tell me in that world breastfeeding wouldn't be a hell of a lot easier.

If you're trying to persuade the group of women least likely to attempt bf-ingyoung, poorly educated, ill-informed, unsupported to try it, the worst thing you can do is to reinforce their prejudice that breastfeeding is 'embarrassing' because you have show your breasts in public.

We may think this prejudice is daft but they don't. They listen to what their mums and boyfriends say. And this, I would have thought, is precisely the group whose babies would benefit most from bf-ing.

i do hopethat nancy conceives soon, makes her mind up to breastfeed and then finds that she loves it. It may challenge some of the preconceived notions she seems to hold so dearly.

It is one of the most satisfying things I have done as a parent.

It's not about breasts.
It's not about breasts.
It's not about breasts.
It's not about breasts.

It's about feeding a baby/child. I dont know how I can make it any clearer to those who are breast-obsessed.

"reinforce their prejudice that breastfeeding is 'embarrassing' because you have show your breasts in public" the prejudice exists because of this weird notion that breasts should be hidden away as a consequence of the notion that breasts are a sexual organ.

You dont have to "get your breasts out in public", you just have to make your breast available to the baby you are about to feed on your arms. It's hardly the same thing as stripping off. And speaking of stripping off - you are far more likely to see a streaker bearing all at a football/rugby match than you are to see a woman like MB's cousin. Neither do damage to anyone except possibly to themselves in such circumstances, and to be honest - neither have much to do with b/feeding as much as they do showing off.

"i very much doubt you've actually seen a breastfeeding mother, stripped nekkid to the waist, belligerently nursing her baby whilst hurling abuse to the general public"

LOL

OMG what a picture - a BFing lout!

This thread is hilarious, I'm reading it out to my Mum and we're laughing our heads off.

Totally, totally agree with everyone. I haven't braved BFIP yet but I'm not sure how discreet I will manage to be. My DD honks a bit lot when she feeds and her gulps are very loud. Also sometimes she likes to just sit and stare at my breast and may headbutt it occasionally. So not only might nipples be on view, but people will have to see breasts treated in a very undignified manner

Thanks Bridie, you make a good point too.

there nothing more innocence than a mother bf a baby.

thes people with nasty unsupportive unkind attitudes, must have some serious hang ups

i pity them really

assholes !!

I'm not breast-obsessed, VVV. As a teenager, my 'bedroom' was my mother's office and I literally slept surrounded by breast-feeding leaflets and books. I helped out in her baby clinic weighing babies while she chatted to mothers about breast-feeding. This was 20-30 years ago and most other families thought bottle feeding was the norm. I'd probably seen more pictures of breasts by the time I was sixteen than the average hormonal lad, only mine had the ducts printed on them and arrows showing how the baby latched on.

I have fed my own children in many different places: on trains and planes and in cafes. When I was in these public places I never exposed more than about an inch of lower breast, not even when I was first starting out, not because I was prudish because it really wasn't necessary to do so.

LactatingLouts

brilliant.

Making Saturday nights in towns a no-go area of women flashing their nipples and squirting breastmilk at passers-by, swearing, and shouting 'gerraneyeful of this mate' as they try to force their engorged breasts in the mouths of innocent pensioners. Hurling breastpads in the gutter, and then posting it all on YouTube.

Well, great for you.

But I undo the strap of my bra and my entire nork falls out; it's very heavy and pendulous.

My ds stays latched on for a short while then comes off without so much as a moment's notice revealing nipple and areola.

I pull my top down quickly but said bosom is quite difficult to hide and flops around under my top with a clearly visible outline of huge nipple. I can't get my bra strap up quickly enough.

Then he wants back on again... so I oblige. And with his other hand he lifts my top up revealing lots of breast.

And you know something? Depending on where I am I either feel perfectly fine (usually places that have a "breastfeeding friendly" type symbol or notice) or really .

If ds wants to he can make bfing him incredibly indiscreet.

And the reason I feel is because I know that even people who support breastfeeding - like yourself - are thinking, "that's unneccesary, when I bf I didn't show more than an inch of lower breast".

Which is why I'm totally with milkgoddess and all the others who've said that no, breastfeeding in public should not have to be discreet. Yes, if you want to be discreet, if your dcs allow you to be discreet, fine, great, that's your call. But I should not have to be discreet.

And VVV is right. This is not really about breasts is it? Because most girls on a night out or even a hot summer's day show far more breast than me even at my least discreet. And no one makes a fuss about that.

I wonder if it's because we don't like being reminded that we are just mammals after all?

And the other thing is - to those who say breastfeeding should be discreet - ask yourself, would you ask a bottle-feeding mother to be discreet?

I've never heard anyone say, "I never showed more than an inch of bottle when I was feeding my baby".

Blu lol at lactatinglouts!

PMSL @Blu's post

I too find it hard due to enormous norks to not flash a bit of flesh. But you know what, I couldn't give a feck. All I care about is that ds is hungry, so I want to get him fed with the minimum of fuss so he doesn't start screaming the place down.
The entire Millwall fan club could be staring at me and I simply wouldn't notice.
If you are offended by me feeding my child, well don't fecking look. You'll see a nicer pair of tits in The Scum.
How plainer can we make it???
I was talking to a lady yesterday who is mix feeding - the only reason why she is doing so is because she is too intimidated to feed in public because she is afraid of other people's reactions. She SHOULD NOT have to feel this way! She should be able to feel she can feed her child as easily as she would at home.
Right that's my twopenn'orth in!