im getting so sick of being told, bf in public is alright as long as its discreet! grrr

[milkgoddessmakesthefinestmilk]

well its not always that easy to do it discreatly.how fucking rude to say do not flaunt it

grr!!!
yes im cousin was asking me if i fed in public, i said yes, her and her husband started going on about how bf should be donediscrectly

they fucking asked me

i tried to explain that i dont believe any woman does it to flaunt it,he pipes up one i meet did. and went on to tell a really lame story of someone daring to bf in his presence.she had the attitude of i can do this anywhere, oh course she did ffs

i tried to explain its not that easy for some women to be discreet, and it was probably just a new mum, struggling really hard to do the best thing for her baby.

but they wouldnt listen to me,
started turning into a row
i am really fucking angry about this

oifoif - even MENhave nipples!!! Yes, so why all the fuss?

thanks guys, fabsmum id love to have seen that too.

can't believe people have attitudes like that.

cheesesarnie i hope the person that made you feel so uncomfortable, is bloody ashamed of themseleves.
bastards

I think sometimes people look just to see - not staring or being rude etc. Like how you look at someone picking their nose and really digging for gold

I sit on the chair that faces the front door if I need to feed my boy. That way if anyone feels the need to make a rude comment they have an easy getaway after I've ripped their head off and squirted milk down their neck.... maybe people can see that on my face and that's why no-one has dared say anything yet

And I'm never particularly discreet - I'd rather spend time drinking my coffee than fluffing about trying to hide my nipple. If someone is going to get that excited about a milky, slobber covered nipple then I'm glad I made their day!

Yes, no one ever argues that bottlefeeding should be done discreetly, do they? I am actually quite discreet but hate it when people go on like this when it's nothing to do with them.

so true cm

Well, perhaps people think that some bfing mums might whip their entire blouse (or whatever) and bra off and jiggle about their size DD boobs (all bfing mums have them don't they?) before getting comfy and letting their dc near enough to latch on!

Yes i am being silly (hopefully not enough to annoy), and no i haven't read the whole thread so if somebody's already said something similar i will sound like a total buffoon

as I have posted several times recently, I am pretty sick of this pressure to be discreet.
we learn how to bf like we learn many things - by watching. it really doesn't make sense unless you see it.
before we messed up human society, young girls would have seen bf hundreds and thoousands of times before they tried it.
now, we expect women to bf who have never seen what a baby looks like latched on.
it is no wonder so many women find it so difficult.
also the pressure to bf sends the wrong message imo - that bf should be hidden away.

Come to Blanchardstown, KM, there are loads of us here who are not afraid to BFIP! Or maybe they're SO discreet in Kerry that even you haven't noticed what they're doing

Blimey, women can be as indiscreet as they want....what does it matter? It's only feeding!

Of course some women like to draw attention to themselves and their children - like talking in a loud voice so people will hear what an intelligent conversation they can have with their Terribly Advanced toddler - and taking off your entire upper garments in the middle of Marks and Spencers probably comes into that category. I'd rather see that than overhear braying voices designed to impress me, anyway.

Discretion is in the eye of the beholder anyway - what to me is a mum relaxedly feeding her child and minding her own business, showing not very much at all, to someone else is a brazen hussy with her tits out on view.

Women should feed in whatever way is efficient and comfortable for them - how very controversial NOT.

very good point harpsi.

thanks WankmasterBastardDeLaShithead
it was a client of mine who got me thinking about it.
she said learning to bf is like learning to iceskate. great fun once you get the hang of it but a bit tricky and painful.
and so I took it a bit further, and thought yes what we do is we say, you must iceskate, it is really important. here's a book with somep pictures, what do you mean you are tired and bleeding and in pain, get to the ice rink! so what if you have never tried it before or never even seen it before! it's natural. here you go, here's the bus timetable. no, there's no-one to help you sorry! best of luck.
and then we wonder why bf rates are so pitifully low.

...and then some sodding HV says to you, "ah, see, your blades are too blunt, dear, I wonder if you weren't meant to ice skate after all, it's not for everyone. Here, have some wellies instead, and see how your triple toe loop looks in those. Nope, no good. Still, you gave it your best shot. Don't feel guilty, dear."

I was once bfing in a well known chain pub while having a family dinner. A male in his early 20's was having a good gawp / laugh with his friends about it .So I exclaimed that i was surprised that he found my bfing so amusing since he obviously saw a big tit everytime he looked in the mirror.

booblies.

am still lol at mb's family lore

our family lore consist of things like "an aunty elizabeth walked at 3 months" and "once grandad john ate all the pies in the pantry".

not tales of people shagging in the cold.

but I am a repressed Saesnes ...

(your aunty elizabeth, not an aunty elizabeth. I only have ONE aunty elizabeth and I have not ruled out her being a MNetter...)

I am agog at group sex on Aberaeron beach
honestly, it seems such a resepctable place
and I hope she had a lilo to sit on, that beach is pretty bumpy for an orgy

Milkgoddess - you are right to be angry. Your cousin's husband is the one with the problem, not the woman who bf in his presence.

I am not quite sure how it is possible to bf indiscreetly. Bare one bosom while baby is latched on to the other? I've never seen that done.

If it is acceptable for women to bare their midriffs in public and wear low cut, cleavage revealing tops if they are NOT bf, I do not see what is so shocking about bf, where most of the woman's upper body is covered by the baby. There may be the odd glimpse of nipple (the only bit that wouldn't normally be shown in public) at latching on and off, but in the context of breastfeeding I personally don't see any sexual connotations and men like milkgoddess's cousin's dh are being ridiculously bossy.

Having bf where and when I liked for a total of 7 years of my life, I never ever had a negative comment (to my face!) and had many words of encouragement, compliments and offers of help and support, like the time a young man lifted the pushchair on to the train for me as I was bf the baby.

[still reeling at Aberaeron story. My friend went into labour on that beach...]

Hmmn. I'm kind of in the middle on this one, having happily fed both mine until eight months and having done so in public, on trains, etc. I'm also the daughter of a passionately pro-bf HV. And she was passionate on the subject about twenty years before most other people were.

I think there is a middle ground. For instance, when I had to feed on the train I was surrounded by young men and it was crowded. They didn't have the option to go anywhere else if the sight offended them. So I did cover up and I'm sure they thought I was just cuddling my baby. When I was in a half-empty cafe with lots of vacant tables I was less bothered--if people didn't like it they had the option to move away. And obviously if I was at a mothers and babies meeting at someone's home that was another ball game altogether and very useful to observe one another.

I was a PR for about a decade and spent a lot of time working out how to persuade people towards a certain point of view. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. So why go out of your way to irritate the people you want to PERSUADE that bf is the natural way to feed?

thanks for such a much needed boost everyone.

im still really pissed off about it today and thunking about what i'll say next time i see them

slatting bf mums is one thing that makes me v v v angry

prhaps i should of said, what did she do then that was flauting it? take off her entire top both boobs out but baby only on oneside, or mearly take the breast out to feed the baby, which is kinda an essential prt of breast feeding

or what would you do, if you was in a cafe and someone was reading the sun, on page three, be outraged there where sitting there with page 3 girl on display.and feel personally offended, [this would be a good one as think they get the sun!] the rude swines !!

grr

im not in anyway suprised bf rates in this country are so low

Love the ice skating analogies. The first time you ice skate you are learning in public, and you flounder a bit, but no one bats an eyelid as everyone goes through that stage - it's not especially embarrassing to fall down, either, and no big deal. A more expert ice skater will encourage you, and you get better and better at it simply by doing it.

The analogy doesn't really hold good because a skater goes to an ice-rink to learn and doesn't sit by a swimming pool with her skates on expecting help and encouragement. When I was feeding I wouldn't sit in the crowded and grubby pub in town to feed because I'd have been surrounded by Mirror- and Sun-reading males. I would go to the Museum cafe, though, because that's where other bf-ing friends hung out and the atmosphere was very supportive.