Has this happened to you? Breastfeeding 'support' led my baby to hospital

[alomath]

This was my experience of trying to exclusively breastfeed. It objectively harmed my baby and traumatised me. Has this, or something similar, happened to anyone else?

My baby was born at 40w+1d from a forceps delivery after a long (induced) labour. I had gestational diabetes but other than that a normal pregnancy. She was born healthy.

I wanted to exclusively breastfeed and in hospital I was seen and given advice on latching/breastfeeding from multiple healthcare professionals (midwives, nurses and infant feeding team). I was told her latch was good and to keep going.

After approxmately 36 hours we were discharged. I struggled to breastfeed at home (cluster feeding, rarely settling). The midwife visited on day 2 and told me this was normal and to keep going.

On days 3 and 4 things kept getting worse. By day 4 her nappies were not heavy and she hadn't pooed in 24 hours (but she was still producing the 'normal' amlount of wet and soiled nappies, according to the information I got from the NHS trust where she was born). Her cry was becoming high pitched. I called the national breastfeeding helpline and was told everything I was going through 'seemed normal' and was given advice about latching. I wasn't convinced, so I called my local infant feeding team, who told me on the phone (again) that all of this was normal. Nevertheless, they offered to send someone to my home to see me feeding. That person came, told me her latch looked very good and advised me to express to top up. She also pointed out my baby's lips were dry, but didn't make much of it. I pointed out I didn't think my milk had 'come in', but again she didn't seem to make much of this. I tried expressing but nothing came out.

On day 5 the midwife came to for the routine health visit. She weighed my daughter and realised she had lost >20% of her birth weight and her jaundice had gotten worse. The midwide told us to rush to A&E.

In A&E, they immediately gave her formula and she was instantly a different baby (much more settled). We stayed for a few days to ensure she was feeding and gaining weight. However, her weight loss had been so dramatic that the doctors wanted to rule out an infectious disease, so she had profilactic intravenous antibiotics + blood, urine and even a lumbar puncture to look for infections. Everything came back negative, it was just underfeeding. Her diagnoses were hypernatremic dehydration which had led to a metabolic acidosis and hypoglycaemia.

I was traumatised by this. I basically starved my baby for her first 5 days of life, in great part because of professionals who reassured me everything was OK when it clearly wasn't. I feel awful and I don't think the guilt will ever go away. But I also feel angry at everyone who pressured me to breastfeed, even when it was going so badly (my baby was clearly dehydrated!).

My baby was exclusively formula-fed since then and is - so far - healthy.

The doctor who discharged my baby told me she often saw babies like this. Has anything like this ever happened to you?

I'm so sorry, OP.

I think there is too much of a focus on exclusively breastfeeding at any cost.

I feel very lucky that I had midwives who were very supportive of breastfeeding, but also pretty quick to suggest supplementing with formula, and this was presented to me in a positive, pro-breastfeeding and normalised way.

You are correct that the professionals involved in your care let you down in this way.

You did the best you could for your daughter and what happened is not your fault. But I understand how pervasive feelings of guilt can be, particularly when they are so small and vulnerable.

I hope you can let go of these feelings of guilt, if you can't, please reach out to someone for some counselling or something.

I'm sorry you and your daughter were let down. X

I found this later on about the risk factors for delay and therefore also low suppy. I was really surprised as nothing like this had been mentioned as a possibility. I think it should be shared antenatally - I'd have been so much better prepared if I'd known all of this.
fedisbest.org/resources-for-parents/know-risks-delayed-onset-full-breast-milk-supply/

I cannot see how the 99% can be an evidence-based statistic. OK so they must know that a small % cannot possibly EBF because of mastectomy or other breast surgery but for everything else? My milk didn't come in until eight weeks after a difficult birth and blood loss (plus GD during pregnancy) and I don't think that's unusual judging by the number of people reporting milk not coming in after haemorrhage.

Logically, it makes sense - how can your body make milk if it's putting all of its energy into recovering from something major?!

With diabetes the baby can get low blood sugar after birth.

Im not sure i would bf again. Basically first few weeks of bleeding nipples. And a baby trying to feed basicaooy 90% of the time and could never be put down

Yes. Breastfeeding is tricky. My son lost almost 12 per cent of his bodyweight in 3 days, we asked for him to be weighed which is how we found out. He had a tongue tie and I had not been feeding enough. My milk also came in late. I worked really hard at getting him to latch and stayed up all night feeding him. Just fed fed fed. His latch improved. By day 10 he had regained his birth weight and feeding now is a dream. So yeah, breastfeeding can be tough and scary at times, but I’m glad I stuck with it.

I don't know what would have happened to me and my son if he hadn't been given formula. After being so scared of a c-section I went ahead with a vaginal birth for my massive son (thanks, NCT), I needed forceps and tore very badly and needed 4 blood transfusions. Afterwards, the midwives kept trying to help me breastfeed by putting him on me but I couldn't stay awake. Then, they did manual colostrum harvesting but it was excruciating and I couldn't bear to be touched after everything that had happened to me already. Thank GOD one of them said 'let's supplement with some formula then for now'. It saved me and him- I just needed to sleep and recover. He's now 6 months and almost exclusively breastfed- has a bottle first thing in the morning and last thing at night with Dad so I don't fall asleep holding him during the night feeds. I still beat myself up about not EBF and blame myself for any health problem he has (thanks again, NCT). However, I never would have persevered with BFing at all if I hadn't been able to recuperate properly after he was born.

This was at what I think was the same big London hospital a pp mentioned. I'm so glad I went there and didn't end up with a horror story like some of the others on here. You were all so badly let down.

In my own personal experience, it’s due to insufficient glandular tissue and mammary hypoplasia. Confirmed via ultrasound scan showing very minimal glandular tissue but at no point was I given a formal diagnosis, the nurse consultant at the breast clinic was no help.

I had all the signs:
-breasts stopped developing at age 14, underdeveloped with no lower fullness (approx tanner stage 4).
-prominent puffy areolae
-stretch marks on the breasts in the absence of any growth
-widely spaced breasts with a tubular appearance (horrible basically)
-no breast growth in pregnancy
-no engorgement
-no let-down
-milk came in on bang on time but in minuscule amounts

Again nobody listened to the above and connected the dots, but I’ve always known something was hugely wrong with my breasts and it took two failed breastfeeding journeys to find that out. Even just one professional saying “it’s ok, you’ve got duff boobs you’ll have to supplement with formula” would have saved me months of grief, self-blame and heartache. Not wanting to engage in a pity-party for one, but I’ve written all this down hoping it will help other mums be better informed, so they can advocate for themselves as I failed to.

I struggled to breastfeed after c section and they kept us in for 5 days because she was no longer having wet nappies. I ended up pumping really early on (day 2) and feeding my colostrum because I was managing to express so much they were happy to discharge us. She couldn't latch because of a tongue tie so we ended up combi feeding initially. But I have to say the breastfeeding support has been incredible. She finally got her tongue tie sorted on week 9 (it's a long story, we lived out of area and they kept changing their minds who would do it) and because of my effort with expressing I was able to breastfeed with support straight after. DD is now exclusively breastfed and it wouldn't be this way without the support I got.

I think I'm lucky in my area- they have volunteer supporters on the wards, then have infant feeding clinics at various locations, breastfeeding support groups, and they even offer home visits.

I don't know if I've spoken to you before under a different username, or if there's a lot more of us out there than we're led to believe!

There should be some sort of check during pregnancy for IGT. If I'd been told during pregnancy that it was unlikely I would be able to EBF my baby I'd have been sad but got on with it and been prepared. As it was I was absolutely devastated (not exaggerating) at the time when I couldn't. And I was led to believe if I just kept up the triple feeding I'd be able to EBF too. I wasted 3 months doing that!

As it is I don't know if I have IGT and I can't get any health care professional to care so now we're planning a second pregnancy I have no idea if I'll be able to breastfeed or not (but at least this time I'm prepared)

Yes, I think this too. A risk assessment in late pregnancy would have indicated that I was highly unlikely to be able to EBF so I could have prepared for it, learnt how to sterilise and wash up bottles etc.

All I got was "all women can EBF". Nothing like setting someone up to fail!

I had a similar experience. All the midwives and infant feeding adviser said latch looked fine but nobody cared that my nipples felt as if they were being sliced apart by razorblades. Baby then lost too much weight and had to introduce formula as an emergency measure - I felt so useless and like I'd brought my baby close to death.

It's why I went to train as a breastfeeding peer supporter. I wanted to help women avoid those types of situations. Many HCPs just don't have enough bf training or any personal experience of bf.

Re supply issues - it's very difficult to measure. Expressing milk isn't an accurate reflection and there's a cultural misconception that if a baby feeds frequently then it must mean they're not getting enough/mum doesn't have enough milk (but thankfully this misinformation is being corrected more and more).

The most reliable indicator of whether the baby is getting enough milk is their nappy output and other physical signs but obviously that can be risky to have as the only indicator if milk transfer issues or supply issues are suspected.

It may have been me yes, I’ve posted about this before as to be honest I still feel quite bitter about it. Like you I was told to feed and express on repeat at the expense of literally everything else (sleep, my sanity) when physiologically I wasn’t capable of a full supply, with fairly obvious indicators that midwives and HV’s should have noticed.

Passing urates at six days old is not normal. Passing meconium at five days old is not normal. A jaundiced, sleepy, unsettled shrivelled-looking baby is not normal. I feel let down on so many levels and it’s actually really painful to look back at photos of those early days, as I know now I was unwittingly starving my babies. Both times.

I resent the insinuation that I “failed” at breastfeeding because I gave up or just didn’t have the grit to see it through. The training on low supply issues for HCP’s is apparently non-existent, but my experience (and yours) shouldn’t be invalidated because, guess what, ALL WOMEN can breastfeed….. Not having any answers is perhaps the hardest thing to get your head around, plus the fact that nobody providing the “support” actually seem to care beyond pushing the the breast is best agenda.

In your position I’d try and speak to the infant feeding team and your GP well in advance to look at options. If you have the funds a lactation consultant is definitely worth looking into but this wasn’t something I was in the position to manage.

Sorry for the trauma dump. I just want other mums facing the same thing to know they’re not alone.

People should be free to do as they wish. Can you imagine this sort of facism in any other walk of life.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Surely it should have been picked up when there was no meconium after a couple of days? You definitely didn't fail, you tried your best and I hope your babies are now happy and healthy (no matter how old they are!)

If I have a second I'll try and get midwives and GP involved, but I'll expect to formula feed and any breastfeeding will be a bonus

I just wanted to say to the OP and everyone who gets admitted to A&E with weight loss please be gentle on yourselves the NHS, under funded etc it is has a safety net for babies which is the 10% weight loss and we get admitted to hospital as a precaution and to get baby back up to weight. We just had a slow start to breastfeeding for whatever reason and baby will be fine - we were just trying to do what we thought best ie breastfeeding and the system which isn't perfect did catch our babies get them on the right track. Postnatally we are so fragile and we take on so much guilt for literally everything. To those who volunteer supporting breastfeeding and especially the lady in haringey who helped me go on to EBF for a year Thank-you so much!!!!
I'm not saying only breast is best and NCT does over hype it but the system in place does recognise that many mothers want to BF and they are trying their best (albeit with way too little midwife support due to over stretched services) take a breath and know your baby will be fine x

You poor thing, sounds like it wasn't the best expereince to start your new life as a Mum.
I FF from day 1, never intended to do anything else and it was the right decision and I never felt any pressure to do otherwise
BUT I did have to drive 45 minutes at 11pm leaving my 4 year old and 1 month old with DH to help SIL sort out FF as her MW wouldn't give her any advice. They were all desperate and could't get any help.
I also helped a lady I found crying in the baby food/milk aisle in Sainsburys as her MW had told her to "go to the supermarket and figure it out"
I know that BF is generally better but if a Mum doesn't want to or can't FF then help should be available, of course my experiences were from 15 years ago so perhaps its different now - I hope so!

Totally agree with this and I'm a grandma now. It was the same in the 80s. I was a lucky breast feeder, but my attitude is that the baby needs to be fed. There's always been instances where breastfeeding wasn't enough or wasn't working. Historically we had wet nurses, then they invented formula. Now formula is excellent. New mums must do what THEY feel is right. Combination, EBF, EF, whatever.
My son threw a health visitor out for bullying his wife over BF.

This happened to me and we hadn’t even left the hospital! For context this was during lockdown and DH wasn’t allowed in. He’d been there for an hour at the birth and then I didn’t see him until it was all going horribly wrong on day 4, and they only allowed it as I was pretty much hysterical.

Baby born at 37 weeks by c section. He struggled to latch but we were doing ok by the end of day 1. Day 2 it was obvious nothing was coming out of my boobs. Lots of people came to see me and I stayed in another night for support with feeding. I said several times that I didn’t think I was producing anything and I was told I was wrong (even though baby wasn’t making ‘feeding’ sounds that indicate some sort of flow). Day 3 baby was very distressed. I actually had ready made formula with me and was discouraged from giving him any. By the middle of the day he was screeching hysterically, and had turned yellow (jaundice which wouldn’t have been helped by being dehydrated). They were actually going to send me home and I insisted on seeing one of the paediatricians as I felt we needed to stay. So glad I did.

He was weighed and found that he’d lost 15% of his birth weight in 3 days. His next nappy had crystals in it, which is a sign of extreme dehydration, and they moved pretty fast after that. He was out on a feeding plan, every 2 hours. I had no sleep because every 2 hours they strapped me to an industrial pump for 20 minutes to try and boost my supply, I barely got a teaspoon. He was fed this then topped up with formula. He took 30 minutes to finish 2 oz of formula so by the time he was done it was pretty much time to start again. His heart rate was erratic. They were doing observations on him every hour. Doctor came every 3 hours. We were in there for 6 days altogether. I don’t know why they were so against me giving him any pre made formula - they literally told me not to. We continued the feeding plan for 2 weeks when we got home and by that point you wouldn’t have guessed he’d been so sick. I was completely on my own, first time mother and I relied on them to give me the right advice. I still feel like they completely failed us those first few days.

I found out much later that they’d tested him for all sorts including sepsis. We suspect that as well as me not producing any milk he mights have been ill due to rhesus factor.

When I had child 2 I knew she was jaundiced within hours and made someone come and check her, she actually got jaundice twice. I had no issues with supply this time but she couldn’t have any of it as her jaundice level was so high they were talking transfusion at less than a day old. Again we suspect it was due to rhesus factor, even though I’d had anti d in both pregnancies and no antibodies detected. Apparently breast milk slows the jaundice levels coming down so she never got any of it and by the time we left hospital a week later she’d had jaundice a second time, so all my milk had gone. I was at a different hospital this time and there’s no way I would have accepted being told not to give her ready made - I went in with loads of it!

@ButterAsADip how true. I have almost no relationship with my child after she was born premature and couldn't breast feed.

Jog on love. I'm happy for you that it worked for you but your narrative is exactly the kind of thing that puts pressure on new mums.

It happened to a friend of mine last year. Her DC ended up back in hospital. She had a traumatic birth (to put it mildly) and this pushed her over the edge. She has PTSD, PND and major health anxiety now. Her relationship is pretty much over and she struggles with her baby.

All because ‘Breast is best’.

I was lucky. I gave birth at the same hospital but had a very different experience. I wanted to combi feed and the paediatrian actually told me to because DD was underweight.

My milk didn't come in and my baby wasn't happy! Thankfully my DH wasn't a first time Dad and insisted DS needed more and went out to get bottle feeding equipment on day 5 and DS was finally happy.
He lost weight but I understand most babies do in the first week or 2. I am not traumatised in any way and he is now grown up and at University.
I think people aren't marching on the streets because most people quickly forget about it.

I think you might have tagged the wrong person, as it didn't work out well for her either.

I know this is meant to be encouraging people it happened to not to be hard on ourselves but many of us had a very very narrow escape for our babies from brain damage or worse. That's definitely not our fault, it's the NHS' fault and the Baby Friendly Policy they've insisted on adopting.

The NHS shouldn't be acting like this, there would be no need of a safety net involving A&E (how much does all
this cost?!) paeds or SCBU admissions if there was a more pragmatic approach to formula and acknowledgment that not everyone can breastfeed.

And the ridiculous guilt tripping. I was told my failure to BF caused ear infections.

Er, no. Its all nonsense. The flames fanned by interfering middle class women .

@TheMadShip was who I meant to tag.

Apologies to the other poster