5 month old will only drink milk in a dark room with white noise

[Anonymousm]

Hi everyone, ever since my baby boy turned 4 months he will only drink his bottles properly in his bedroom in the dark with white noise on, or he will have 2oz and give up, I don’t want to persist and force it too much to create a bigger problem but it’s really hard work, can’t go out with him for more than 2 hours at a time or I’m worried he won’t get enough milk in. He could be starving but just will not have the milk in any sort of different setting. Has anyone else dealt with this? Does it last or is this an association problem now, how can I resolve it?! It’s driving me up the wall?!

I’ve tried different teats, speeds, bottles. You name it I’ve probably done it he will only take Tommee tipped variflow or will go mental

I think you need to keep control of situation here, if he only takes 2 oz move on , do something else and then offer again . Keep calm and reassuring to him He will take it and get used to it

What do you mean 'go mental'

And how did the situation come about anyway, you must have been feeding him in a number of different settings in 4 months?

@Quitelikeacatslife

when do you give in to the usual? I’ve been doing this for half an hour tried 3 times, talked to him, sang to him he drank some then starts waving his hands and arching out of frustration. I don’t shout at him I just give up

Just take him out and do what ever you are doing and keep offering, eventually he’ll take it, even if he has a few days of not feeding as much.

@soupfiend
as described, arching the back, waving his arms and legs generally fussing where as in a dark room he will have it no issues. No I haven’t, I have done what most parents would do, feed in the house or say at my grandmas house, when he’s due a feed I very rarely feed him on the go. I meant if I go out say to town and it hits his feeding time and go to a cafe say to feed him he will not have it. It started at the flip of a switch, it isn’t a problem I’ve created

Yes, give up , stop feeding and go get dressed or whatever you were going to do next, then he seems to want milk , cries for it (I mean in the normal way they let you know) then offer it again, but I'd only do the dark setting etc before bed.

@theduchessofspork
I do try, I just feel like I’m on house arrest and can’t go about normal situations out the house. It just never seems to change but I know I need to persist, was just wondering if this is normal or not

My DS was like this - I was breastfeeding and an absolute pain to have to go into toilets or anywhere as quiet as possible. He was eventually diagnosed with silent reflux - infant gaviscon made a huge difference. I also suspected a CMPA and gave up diary which I think helped long term as well. He basically needed to be as calm as possible to feed otherwise his stomach would tense up.

My son went through a mental period when he was 5 months where he would only feed in side lying, so we had to both be lying down. I literally had a pop up tent with me on holiday so I could lay down and feed him out and about. Like you, it was just out of nowhere!! It resolved after a couple of weeks. I think 5 month olds are just pretty wild things, so much development happening. He wouldn't sleep either!
Just keep offering out and about as normal but I get that sometimes you just have to go with the no distractions to get something in them. It's generally all a phase x

Thanks! @idontknow54789 Tbh I do think he might have a touch of reflux, he seems to sick up a lot not huge amounts but he still does even now!

@PigeonPigPie this is going on a month, I think the last time I managed to feed him out was once we went for one drink in nice weather at the start of hitting 4 months and then when I had my cousin round in the front room he ate a whole bottle, 2 weeks ago! Theres no way he can’t be hungry because he hadn’t eaten since 11pm, so I’ve ended up giving him the milk before his nap with the same situation, white noise and darkness. You will do anything to get the milk in or he would probably get max 10oz a day, I will try and persist I just don’t want to create a bigger problem constantly putting a bottle in his face

@Quitelikeacatslife the problem is his nap and bedtime routine is the same and it works for him, we have it dark, shh white noise on, sleeping bag on, milk (we didn’t always do that only when he started refusing it now I think he associates it with nap time tbh, he’s a big baby and I didn’t want him getting dehydrated taking less than half of what he normally has 7/8oz feeds). He doesn’t fall asleep after the bottle though, he will be awake in his cot for naps and then will take 10/15 minutes with his dummy to get to sleep on his own

This often happens when a baby becomes more aware of what's around him. He may want to eat little and often.

Stop feeding in the dark, feed what he wants then feed again later. So long as he gets enough overall across a period of days it is fine. It is important he gets to feed when he needs it, not when you want to feed him.

@qwertyqwertyqwertyqwerty

for instance though, he hasn’t drank since 11pm, I have always fed when he starts to show signs he wants it, he was crying downstairs eventually for his milk, mouth hanging open for it but starts the fussing until he’s in his dark room and then has his full 8oz so I don’t think it’s because he isn’t hungry. We don’t force milk onto him, he takes anything from 6-8 oz normally, every 3/4 hours. Only if he’s been teething he might take less of his milk he’s not a small baby though, I don’t know what he weighs but he was 13 plus pound at 8 weeks and now he’s in 6-9 month clothes has been for a couple of weeks. I do think he probably associates it with nap time and I need to just persist offering it through the day to make him realise that it isn’t just a nap drink

My baby (5mo) has become more distracted during feeds the last month or so and I read that this is common as they start to become more aware of their surroundings, as a previous poster mentioned.

I’m breastfeeding so I can’t comment on specific quantities, but it’s clear that she feeds more deeply during her morning and night feeds which are in a quiet bedroom space. During the day she’ll pop on and off, especially if there’s something in the room that grabs her attention.

@Fairylightsxxx

i had read that and I do have the wonder weeks app to, hes in leap 5, I think I’m probably just best when we are out see it as that, if he is hungry he will take it and just not panic that he’s not getting enough. I probably am more aware because I can see the amount he’s getting. I think I’m just frightened that he might get dehydrated, I do offer sips of water though too with him being on formula out of a magic cup so he can get used to the motion and he grasps the handles and gives it a good go. I think half of the problem is I probably need to relax more and not worry but it’s only natural

Really normal, both of mine did this but with breastfeeding. They also started only napping in the dark in the cot at this age.

I'd just go with it tbh. He can have a small feed if you're out and about at a class or something and then a decent feed in the dark at home.

You're not far at all off solids and cutting daytime feeds so it's not going to be forever.

@CelesteCunningham
thanks! I don’t think it’s started a problem as he doesn’t wake up in the night crying for milk as such, he might wake up briefly and will take himself back to sleep for a while. Maybe I do just need to go with it while I’m out and not worry so much and trust he will eat if he needs it while we’re out and about.

i think that’s probably when the turning point will be with him when he gets his hands on proper food, it’s not forever is it?!

I remember my DS went through something similar for a few weeks around 4/5 months - would only feed while he was falling asleep so it was like every bottle was a dream feed. It disappeared on its own but in hindsight maybe I should have gone to GP/health visitor.

Could you phase out these feeding associations? Maybe keep the white noise, have a dim light on. Then after a few days, light goes up a bit more, white noise quieter etc etc.

If that doesn’t work, could be worth visit to GP as other PPs have suggested, could be a medical cause. You’re going to be weaning soon - they might suggest early wean.

@Justsomethoughts

yeah I have read other threads on here stating the same, I think I will just try through the day and if I feel he’s not taking as much just offer a bit before sleeping.

he doesn’t seem so much as if hes in discomfort though, he’s a happy smiley big baby, sleeps very well (for now and I’m greatful).

it’s hard aswell because of the way his naps fall it usually clashes with the times he drinks his milk anyway around the 3/4 hour mark, before 4 months it was easier to do wake feed play but sometimes it’s just not doable now

@Anonymousm FWIW I found this time the hardest of all. I felt like the feeding took over my life and it scared me so much. Whatever you’re doing is obviously working as you have a happy, big baby. You’re doing great! This should pass soon.

Totally normal. I breastfeed but I just went with it. Actually my daughter is still like this a bit now at 9 months. It's fine, she will just have a little bit when we are out and then I'll feed her in a quiet room when I want her to have a big feed.

@Justsomethoughts

thanks! Your right it does consume you, wondering if it is something your doing wrong but he does seem happy with what we’re doing at the moment so why upset him, i think this might just be a case of go with it when we’re out and trust he will eat what he needs! We’re often not out for that long anyway at the moment

PS I know all babies are curious but mine is VERY 'chatty' and extroverted so I think it was just wanting to see what was going on and babble away which milk interrupted for her!

I’m breastfeeding and find while out and about he mostly only has about five mins compared to at home in my bed he’ll be on for a good 20 mins. I try to just keep offering more frequently and assume instinct will mean he won’t starve 🤷‍♀️
hes 4.5 months - I think he is too busy nosing on the rest of the world!

Oh I forgot to mention, something that occasionally works for me (though not always!) is to drape a muslin gently over the top of her head while feeding so that she can’t see as much from side to side so less distraction!