5 month old will only drink milk in a dark room with white noise

[Anonymousm]

Hi everyone, ever since my baby boy turned 4 months he will only drink his bottles properly in his bedroom in the dark with white noise on, or he will have 2oz and give up, I don’t want to persist and force it too much to create a bigger problem but it’s really hard work, can’t go out with him for more than 2 hours at a time or I’m worried he won’t get enough milk in. He could be starving but just will not have the milk in any sort of different setting. Has anyone else dealt with this? Does it last or is this an association problem now, how can I resolve it?! It’s driving me up the wall?!

I’ve tried different teats, speeds, bottles. You name it I’ve probably done it he will only take Tommee tipped variflow or will go mental

Mines the same. He’s EBF and a good feeder but his night time and morning feed are deep guzzly feeds, I can hear how much he’s enjoying it 😂

Stop feeding in the dark; if he's fussy after 2oz then leave him don't give in and go into a dark room - that will just make him link food to a dark room and will make the situation worse!

I'm in the "go with it" camp too. 4 months is so small, he will change rapidly and likely outgrow it. I seriously doubt he'll be eating like that in a couple months' time once he can walk and babble and the world is interesting. If it does continue until he's much older, perhaps a sign of SEN/autism?

Have you tried offering formula in a sippy cup, outside of bed and nap time?

I would be inclined to talk to your health visitor too, especially as you say he regurgitates a lot.

My little one developed a bit of a bottle aversion and though I wouldn’t say we are completely free of it as she still has her fussy moments this book helped SO much! I downloaded it on my kindle app and read it in a night and started implementing the next day. Would really recommend ‘your baby’s bottle feeding aversion’ by Rowena Bennet.
I’m not saying this is what is going on with you baby btw but some of the advice in there might help.

Here’s what my 4 month old has had today- guess which ones were calm and quiet tucked up in my bed! I can’t stay home as have other children so when I’m out I try to offer a lot more frequently but he certainly has a much shorter feeds when out and about! Bit trickier with bottles but maybe just accept smaller bottles more frequently is the preference when out and about!
5am 5 oz breastmilk bottle
7.30 30 mins
9.05 8 mins
11.33 5 mins
12.25 8 mins
14.10 5 mins
15.00 5mins
16.20 30 mins

My daughter was like this at 5 months. She was always small (9th centile) and only wanted to be fed in a pitch black room or else would get distracted. It was stressful. In the end I just let her feed for the short amount of time that it took her l (I was breastfeeding so didn’t know how much she was actually drinking. Refused a bottle too.) and we bought a weighing scale and I just weighed her regularly which kept my worries under control. And then the six month milestone came, we started weaning her and get calories into her that way and now she’s a happy 50th centile toddler. So just trying to say: it’ll pass! And you’re nearly weaning! You’ll get through this (and then the next hurdle will appear!)! Good luck!

What's not normal is that you're accepting it. Like others said, just get on with your day. Baby will feed when they're hungry enough.

I'd try switching to a sippy cup. Also for ask the for the GPs advice on starting solids. He's a little young, but given he's not taking much milk, it might be a good idea.

Hey, the arching of the back and waving the arms and legs sounds like reflux. My daughter was like this from 3 months old, I took her to the doctors and they prescribed Gaviscon for infants, She was a completely different baby after this

Hi thanks for the responses, I don’t think this is going to last forever, I just wanted to hear if others have been through it, what helped etc. by no means am I just “accepting” it, I know it’s not normal hence why I want to change it but I’m trying to make sure my son isn’t dehydrated or starving and at the moment that seems to be the only way he will drink his milk properly. (It seems like this is common at this age we all just deal with it differently). So if I’m in the house I will do what I need to do to get him to drink but if I’m out I’ll just have to do the little and often feeds. He is a big baby, he’s happy, healthy he has days where he might sick abit up but it’s only really wet burps and seems to be better than it was. I have started to hold out abit longer and let him moan more and he did drink abit more than normal but still not really a full feed but it’s progress. He’s got a little munchkin magic cup he sips water from and he seems to like it, I have tried Tommee tippee one and he wasn’t interested, big lad wants a proper cup soon I think 😂

This. You are the parent, take charge. He might scream blue murder and not feed for a few days but ultimately he will have to get used to it, and what you have now is not sustainable (guaranteed they will not adapt to this at nursery/CM)

So he’s getting old enough he may want to feed less often. And those developmental leaps can hit like a freight train. Feels very sudden for mom.

but just go about your business, he will eat I promise. Realllly truly. And you’re not doing any damage, he will eat. Maybe more later, maybe more tomorrow.

there is also FOMO. Very strong all of a sudden. You can try like a very dark nursing cover to keep it dark for him in public. probably won’t work he’ll just throw it off. And check stuff out.

@HcbSS he won’t be going anyway to nursery. I’m taking a year off work and my mum will be looking after him until i decide he goes to nursery. I think people are forgetting that he’s only 5 months old, still very young. I don’t just never go out to feed him, if I need to go out I do go out 🙄, he doesn’t scream just won’t drink as much it’s more that I’m worried he won’t get enough than him screaming or going mad he just won’t have it.. abit harsh to say “you are the parent take charge” as other users have said I’m sure it will change, he didn’t act like this. A few weeks ago I resorted to feeding in the dark as that was the only way he would take it!

@NoThanksymm
yeah, he in currently in leap 5 apparently according to the wonder weeks app. He’s sat now making silly noises, not drank since 7pm woke up around 5.30am screaming for milk so took him down stairs he’s had 4oz, I’ll try him again soon with milk. (We do offer more at 11, the past 3 days he’s started to only have 1oz so I don’t think he needs it anymore). As you say maybe he needs his feeds every 4 hours now

Could he be ready for food? I no the advice is wait till 6 months or until they can sit up unaided ect. My dd is 10 months now, but she started refusing her bottles at around 4.5 months and showed interest in food. She was able to safely sit in high chair and took to food straight away. No choking ect. So i started offering small things like porridge, wafers, yoghurt ect. And she loved it. She then dropped to 3 6-7oz bottles and 3 meals a day and continues on this now. She is 50th centile, happy & healthy. Obviously only do this if your comfortable and baby is ready. Or maybe pop and see your health visitor? Hopefully its just a phase for you

Try not to stress, he'll be getting enough over the course of a day or a week etc. If the individual feed is 2oz when you're out, then its 2oz, carry on with your day but offer it again sooner than you normally would. You'll be weaning soon anyway and he'll be eating food as well as having milk so he won't go hungry. I was 3 months old and breastfed, my mum went back to work and my dad tried to bottle feed me. I wouldn't take it at all, so I didn't. It was fine, I've grown up fine, my dad kept me happy with lots of distractions and cuddles and I ate when I wanted to. Just let him drink what he wants when he wants, but you can't stick to only feeding in a dark room with white noise on or you'll be stuck at home! You'll encounter lots of these little personality quirks over time, try not to worry about them and work things in that suit your little one when you can, but don't base your lives around them if you can avoid it.

It sounds like a really stressful situation for you both. It might be a good idea to speak to your doctor or health visitor. There might be an underlying reason for your baby’s behaviour and it may be something you can’t solve on your own. I can’t imagine this is learned behaviour as your little one is still so young.

Hi there, I saw this come through on Facebook and never normally reply to these things, but could see some similarities to my daughter when she was a baby. Has your son possibly got a tongue tie? Because this can make them fussy, frustrated and arching of the back

@Anonymous543 It was on the check list they go through when they check over baby before leaving the hospital and they said he had no tongue tie, how does a tongue tie present??

Hi

My little one was breastfed but we went through a really difficult time when he was a couple of months old. I resorted to only being able to feed him when he was drowsy and in a dark room with white noise. He would cry with hunger in the day but wouldn't feed. I read Rowena Bennett's book, I think it's called your baby's bottle feeding aversion and it worked so well (even though mine was breast fed). This was over 2 years ago now so difficult to remember exactly but it involved stopping feeding when drowsy/dark room and absolutely no pressure. Basically had to let baby get hungry enough to give in. It was hard but worked well. I got an ebook from Amazon and read it in a night. It's well worth a read and made me realise things I hadn't thought of. He was still quite distracted when feeding out so I used to put a feeding cover over him which helped. I know yours is bottle fed but could maybe still try it. Good luck

This sounds very stressful! Babies can be so fussy, especially as they get older and more interested in the world around them. My advice would be to feed him in his preferred method when you’re at home since you know he will drink his milk then and it’s no stress for you. Don’t let it stop you from going out though. If he doesn’t want to drink his milk when out and about that’s fine! He will make up for it later on. If you find he is draining his bottles at home then increase the amount. You’ll be weaning him soon and then you can give him food when you’re not at home which will make things loads easier.

It absolutely is normal at around 4-5 months. All have mine have done this to a certain extent. It’s known as reverse cycling - when babies reduce feeds during the day and then feed more at night to make up for it. You are adapting around it by creating a night like ambience in the daytime.

My last baby was completely reverse cycled by 4 months old - pretty much refused point blank to latch on during the day or if absolutely anything else was going on around her. I could not force her to feed. There is literally no way to make a breastfed baby feed when they are refusing to do so. She would be latched on and dozing all night long and awake and extremely cranky all day. There was no option to chance our daytime behaviour- I was at back at work, and work was needed to feed us all, so baby didn’t get her dark silent room with no distractions to feed in, and I didn’t get any sleep (for years. . . . )

But it is very normal, you are saying it’s not but in my experience absolutely is. Sounds like you are doing fine and as you say it’s not forever

thanks everyone, well I managed to feed him downstairs in the day light 7oz 😂, yesterday I went to visit a new baby in the family and he managed 5oz while out, he seems to have done better the past couple of days. @KThnxBye it makes sense tbh, I said to my partner this is probably why 4 month regressions happen if babies end up reducing their intake in the day time, my baby has missed a regression that’s affected sleep up to now and he’s 5.5months. I don’t want to jinx it though! I know it could all change tomorrow!

Has your issue resolved? Or have you continued to feed them same way? I’m in the same situation as you, searching for advice.