Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

i wouldnt dream of telling people they are wrong for formula feeding...

60 replies

pud1 · 27/03/2008 20:34

so why do people feel that they are ok to tell me that i am " making it hard for myself" or "stupid" to breastfeed. its hard enough as it is without every one giving me there fecking opinions...

OP posts:
LittleBella · 27/03/2008 20:36

LOL at making it hard for yourself. Having a baby at all is making it hard for yourself, everything else is purely incidental.

terramum · 27/03/2008 20:37

"stupid" who said that to you?

Original poster
pud1 · 27/03/2008 20:40

myself and 3 freinds have had babies 3 weeks apart. i am the only one breastfeeding. i think it is the general feeling that i am stupid to bf. i am on my first baby and they are on numbers 2 and 3 so i am made to feel inexperianced

OP posts:
abigaillockhart · 27/03/2008 20:42

No, they just feel guilty as, for what ever reason, they are not.

Do not let them bully you.

franke · 27/03/2008 20:44

How's the bf going for you pud1? Do you feel confident about it? They do sound very rude - you should tell them they are rude, rather than try to justify your choices or change their opinions.

Poohbah · 27/03/2008 20:45

Twats, the lot of them!

It would be hard work going down A&E with a baby with gastro problems wouldn't it?

Hard work trying to get a fat teenager to lose weight?

Jolly hard in general for your baby to inject themselves with insulin when they get diabetes when they a a bit older!

and it gets easier so keep it up and look forward to lazy mornings staying in bed and just letting your toddler have "Nee Nee" rather than ging downstairs to get a bottle of milk.

Breastfeeding, the lazy mums way forward in my opinion.

terramum · 27/03/2008 20:49

Oh that's awful pud. They really don't sound like very nice friends if they are criticising you like that. If you feel up to it then I agree with franke that they really need to know they are being really really rude by saying things like that....even if they don't agree with any aspect of your parenting it really is not on to say stuff like this .....or maybe you could turn it round on them and ask them why they think it's stupid to bf and then swamp them with every benefit there is to show that far from being stupid you are actually a rather clever & well-informed parent

GColdtimer · 27/03/2008 20:52

you know it might be to justify their own choices. people often do that. Try not to let it get you down pud, people will be giving you opinions all over the shop over all aspects of parenting, you just have to try to ignore it.

sarahloumadam · 27/03/2008 20:56

Pud - don't get me started! My FIL regularly comments on how restrictive bf must be! At the other end of the spectrum are the people who say "aren't you doing well, keeping it up for so long?!" . I have come to realise though that it doesn't matter what you do...someone I know got a right bollocking from the HV for switching to formula "why are you giving your child inferior milk?". So you are damned if you do and damned if you don't, all that matters is what is right for you and your LO. I found it hard to begin with but around 9 weeks really started to enjoy it and haven't looked back. Tell them to formula off .

Original poster
pud1 · 27/03/2008 20:57

they are twats, you are right. i am also sick of people comparing my dd who is 8lbs at 7 weeks to my mates massive formula fed babies.
i am seeing again soon and if they go on at me again i am going to tell em to feck off

OP posts:
bb99 · 27/03/2008 20:57

What meanies!

Smile and wave with the confidence that you are doing a fantastic job and they sound as though they're suffering from a bout of sour grapes...

Reesie · 27/03/2008 20:59

Just tell them - I know that formular feeding is convenient for you but its just that I feel it's sooooo important that my baby gets good food that I'm willing to sacrifice a bit of inconvenience in the early days..... Did you know that formular milk can contain bacteria such as salmonella and enterobacter sakazakki. Eeeeerrrgggg!

That should do it...!

Maidamess · 27/03/2008 21:01

I don't think you should say anything negative back about formula feeding, as some posters have suggested. Thats their choice too, isn't it?

Don't do 'tit' for 'tat'.

Original poster
pud1 · 27/03/2008 21:03

that my point really maidamess. i dont give a shit what they do and i dont comment on it so why do they feel they have the right to comment on me

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 27/03/2008 21:05

You just called them twats and said you would tell them to feck off next time they "go on at you"...

Maidamess · 27/03/2008 21:07

I think it is the start of competitive parenting, and everyone thinking their way is the best way.

You'll get it throughout your childs life...the food you cook (or buy) ,the Startrite fitted shoes (or off the shelf) the nursery, state (or Montessori) etc etc.

People cannot understand other peoples choices in things...and some are not backwards in telling you their opinion.

Its up to you whether it bothers you or not. If your'e happy with what your choices are for your child then there's no problem.

CrushWithEyeliner · 27/03/2008 21:08

one of your mates actually said you were "stupid" for BF?

Original poster
pud1 · 27/03/2008 21:08

they did crush. i am apparently making a rod for my own back aswell

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 27/03/2008 21:11

I'm sure you can rise above it if you really try

Original poster
pud1 · 27/03/2008 21:11

i am trying to but it is wearing a bit thin to be honest

OP posts:
Poohbah · 27/03/2008 21:14

I think it's okay to point out the issues with formula feeding, perhaps they don't know about the risks....you could at least think it smugly as smug breastfeeders do of course!!!

StarlightMcKenzie · 27/03/2008 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Poohbah · 27/03/2008 21:19

These celebs breastfeed....deflect their inane comments!

www.breastfeedingtorfaen.org.uk/celebrities.htm

sarahloumadam · 27/03/2008 21:29

Agree it would be counterproductive to have a go at your friends but also agree that it is annoying when people feel they can comment on your (v.personal) choices when you wouldn't dream of commenting on theirs...Oh well you know the saying - opinions are like arseholes; everybody has one. Agree with Poohbah - think smug thoughts and carry on regardless.

Martha200 · 27/03/2008 21:41

What unhelpful friends.. saying this though I have been on the other side of the coin.. as I ff ds1 I had bf mums being snooty to me and found their comments hurtful and now I bf ds2, find ff mums defending their choices and I wasn't even asking about feeding! (I wont hide away though of late feel like it ).. I just wish mums would just respect others choices and be supportive where necessary.