i wouldnt dream of telling people they are wrong for formula feeding...

[pud1]

so why do people feel that they are ok to tell me that i am " making it hard for myself" or "stupid" to breastfeed. its hard enough as it is without every one giving me there fecking opinions...

My MIL is scottish I should add.

I got the awful comments about the smallness and skinnyness of my baby, well this time around I will have the knowledge that it has no bearing on their future size my ds is huge he is as tall as me at 8, and 7 stone. And you get fat breastfed babies sometimes too, they are just babies. the competitive Mum thing start here and only gets worse. My friend did that to me and compared them all the time, even in height, untill my ds got bigger and kept doing stuff first. Honestly it is just crazy and gets you nowhere. don't let people take the pi** because you are a first time Mother. I even have people saying how disgusting breastfeeding is, and then I drop my clanger that I'm one of 'them' I breastfed for 11 months and then they act like you made some awful sacrifice, like you must be a bit weird. I wish people would keep opinions like that to themselves, I could never say anything like that to someone, I real don't understand why some people think they have the right to tell anyone else how to parent.

It never fails to amaze me that some people comment on others' choice about bf or ff, or that some people appear to judge others purely based on which of those they do.

Using a term like "ff mums" or "bf mums" tends to lump everyone who into the same box. It comes across as ff mum = or bf mum = (insert whatever judgement you want to make if you're the judgy sort).

To me people are people with many different aspects to them, being a mum is part of it, how they fed their child is a small part of it (but irrelevant to me). We can't be put in nice neat little boxes, we all have bits of us in all sorts of different boxes.

I just don't get why some people have to be so nasty to others about it.

Hi pud1

I am sorry about what happened to you. Sounds awful.

Would you consider joining a new mums group, or breast feeding support group? You may make some really nice new friends by doing so.

Good luck, and congratulations with your new baby.

Jennylee - you are right about differences in sizes, my exclusively bf baby is a whopping 18lbs 6 at 17 weeks!! And me and the Dad are not particularly big so chances are he will not turn out that tall or big.

are you pg, jennylee????

Yes lol i'm pg, and as I now know what to expect from breatfeeding I'm not looking forward to the first few weeks, as it really hurt at first, cracked nipples and constant feeding lol but I could not, not do it. And I'm sure all those new baby hormones will kick in and get me all determined again, at least now I know it gets easier and the baby gets better at it too. and I will not give anyone the time of day that tries to put me down about it or discourage me.

sarahloumadam it honestly does not seem to affect their future size, how fat they are as small babies, the little girl my friend had on mixed feeding was gigantic for a about a year and a half and as soon as she started being mobile she went slim like most children are and now is a little shorter than ds and very willowy, whereas my ds is big built looks like a mini clone of my husband. the thing is I am a tiny person, ds had to start out small to manage to be born lol

aaah, jenny, cracked nips are a sign that latch needs improving which is usually easy to fix if you see a bf counsellor worth her salt. Find out whre there is a babycafe near to you or an nct group and get familiar with the faces before your baby gets here. they should have someone who is knowledgeable of latch to help you early days if you have any probs.

i am pg too (15 wks) and will also bf. I have textbook feeding nipples and never had cracked nips early days. I didn't know what damaged nipples were like till dd's canines and molars started to come through and she latched on funny, i suppose due to tenderness. OUCH!

You know, having read this it's amazing how much grief mums can give each other over the choices we make. I really wanted to bf but unfortunately it didn't work out for me but my best friend is still bf at 18ths with her dd and both our little dd's are doing great. But the comments I received from health professionals on giving up bf were shocking and equally my friend is embarassed and won't tell anyone accept her family and me she is still bf!!

Whatever you choose now and in the future is the right thing, because you know what's best for your child. Mums unite I say!

I think the main point is that mothers feed their baby properly, are comfortable with their own choice and have a happy, healthy child - not whether they choose breast or formula. My first baby - I breast fed religiously for 10 months. My second - he wouldn't breast feed properly during the first few days after birth and almost had to be hospitalised for losing too much weight and having bad jaundice that he couldn't flush out of his system. I switched him to formula and he started to thrive, narrowly avoiding tube feeding in the nick of time. Although some people (men, especially - how dare they!) try to make me feel guilty for not breastfeeding, I shrug off their "helpful" comments. Really, it's not their business. It should be the mother's choice. And, I have to say, with two tiny ones on board, formula feeding has been easier for me to manage (during the daytime, at least!) as it gives a predictable 4-5 hour timed gap between feeds.