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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Oh my God! Are you still breastfeeding, don't you want your life back?

133 replies

Sushipaws · 17/03/2008 21:49

This is what someone said to me this weekend.

DD is almost one and I'm getting pressure from all sides to stop bf'ing. It's not all strong comments but lots of subtle hints.

DD has 4 bf's a day, most of these are done in the house so I don't even see how it effects anyone else. If I start on bottles now it's just more work and expense and it's not as good for my baby as bf.

I have a life, I work pt, I even went away on a hen weekend recently.

Are there any other freaks like me out there who don't want to stop.

OP posts:
chipmonkey · 19/03/2008 00:25

NoBunny, did your Mum extol the virtues of sugar-water for colic as well?

NoBunny · 19/03/2008 11:02

Chipmonkey, no she's not entirely mad. But some ideas she holds dear - babies need cooled boiled water, babies should be sleeping through by 6 months, you can't just keep bf "you've done well, but you can stop now". She doesn't make an issue of it. Just mentions it now and again.

My aunt, on the other hand, mad as a snake. A woman's purpose is to snag a man and deliver child nine months after the wedding. Strawberry birth marks are caused by excess strawberry consumption during pregnancy. Daniel O'Donnel is good.

I expect she got that from her mother who believed in the power of butter for all ailments, hot flannels for broken bones, Vick rubbed on the tongue for a cold and never ever ever wash your hair while menstruating.

Belgianchocolates · 19/03/2008 11:27

Never wash your hair while menstruating? Yuk, never heard of that one before

magnolia74 · 19/03/2008 11:45

What is this word life Not sure I have ever had one

Ds1 is nearly 16 months and loves to b/f. I would appreciate the night feeds going though Dh makes a comment now and again but one look from me and he shuts up!

Balthamos · 19/03/2008 11:59

FioFio - the same thing happens to me regularly when i am with friends and family with babies of a similar age to my DD (8 months). Sadly i am viewed as some kind of freak for STILL BFing and am constantly being asked when i am going to stop.Weird.

What strikes me is that as a BFing mother, i am expected to be very sensitive to my friends and family who couldn't BF and so are FFing (fair enough, i don't want to make any mother feel bad) but often my friends and family who are FFing do not feel that they have to be sensitive back and that it is ok to say whatever negative things they like about BFing to me!

I love BFIng my DD and intend to go on until 1year and hopefully more (if she wants) but i have to be honest, i feel nervous about telling people and doing it in public after she is 1. i am ashamed to admit that.

And i am a very arsey, confrontational, confident person in RL who rarely shys away from anything! so what does that say about how our society views BFing if even the bolshy amongst us feel uncomfortable about BFing older babies?!!

BabiesEverywhere · 19/03/2008 12:18

Balthamos, don't feel you have to tell people about your plans for the future, be vague and they'll stop asking.

It is not surprising that so many mums worry about feeding older babies in public, sadly it is a rare sight. Especially as many older babies are happy to feed just at home at set times....not my child, who demands milk on the bus if she is bored Nursing any child regardless of age, is not the socially accepted norm for feeding in the UK.

mawbroon · 19/03/2008 12:36

Babies, my ds and I are doing our bit feeding out and about everywhere we can. He is 2.5 and isn't shy about saying "want Mummy's milk" in a loud voice. He has stopped asking on the bus. I don't feed him on the bus purely because I would have to undo the back carrier and my bag and coat and it would just be a faff, but we fed last week on a plane and we sit feeding in cafes or playparks etc no bother.

Nobody has ever batted an eyelid though!

Liz79 · 19/03/2008 12:41

I was planning on wearing a particular dress to my DD's christening in may, she will be 5 and a bit months then. I was planning on expressing and giving her a couple of bottles that day so I can wear the dress. However after the palava at the weekend with her refusing top ups, maybe I will have to get a new outfit which is bf friendly any excuse! Part of me would like this so that people can see that we are bf, I feel I should fly the flag. I haven't had any comments from anyone about it yet but I'm sure I would at the Christening, especially as she will be quite big then. Hopefully we won't have started weaning by then which would further fuel the fire. Really I just want to wind up my relatives

BabiesEverywhere · 19/03/2008 12:58

Wow, feeding a 2.5 year old happily in public, wish we bumped into you around here. I rarely see any babies being nursed unless they are my friends babies

I did find out recently that my neighbour still nurses her 4 year old..awww. It came up in conversation after she asked if my 18 month old DD was still nursing now I am pregnant.

BabiesEverywhere · 19/03/2008 12:59

Liz79, sounds like an excellent excuse to go out shopping again (and annoy the family)

mawbroon · 19/03/2008 13:11

Gosh, I don't think I've ever been bowed to on MN before

DS can't have egg or dairy, so I am damned if we are giving up a free, convenient, safe food/drink for when we are out and about and he's eaten all the safe snacks!!

cmotdibbler · 19/03/2008 13:11

The only time I have seen anyone bigger than DS fed is at last years sling show in London. It was lovely to see babies eating real food, and toddlers bfing, not to mention not being pointed at as a freak for using a sling.

DS now likes to point out other people bfing - fortunatly no one has objected so far to a toddler wandering up to them and pointing out num nums. He likes to find them in books too.

LEMONADEGIRL · 19/03/2008 13:27

I am still bf my 17mth old ds. He loves it still and I still love doing it, though never expected to be still doing it at this age when he was born. I have no plans to stop yet.

However was really upset by my dh yesterday as he has now decided it is getting creepy and is on at me to stop it

bogie · 19/03/2008 13:29

Ignor them i got this constantly i fed ds untill he was 2 he was only having 2 or 3 a day but people always had somthing to say

pistachio · 19/03/2008 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

harpsichordcarrier · 19/03/2008 13:47

I still bf dd2 in public and everywhere - she is 2y4m. there are plenty of batted eyelids and plenty of comments but as luck woul dhave it I don't give a flying carrot

chipmonkey · 19/03/2008 13:56

Liz, Clevermummy.co.uk have nice nursing dresses.

hoppybird · 19/03/2008 13:58

My mum used to ask me when I was going to stop once my dd turned 12months (she did the same with ds). She believed that it was 'draining on my health' to be bf for so long - she thinks I'm a bit delicate. I explained to her that it was quite the opposite, and there were health benefits for mothers attributed to bf, in fact WHO recommends bf to 2 years and beyond. THEN she said "Oh, well I guess it's like they did in my grandmother's and mother's time, they used to bf until the child was 2 to 3 years old." (so why pester me to stop? thought I) but

My mum did bf 3 children, but for much shorter times, and when her supply suddenly stopped for my middle brother, she said she gave him what she described as "the best milk from the shop" (ie infant formula - my mother is not English).

My dd is 19months now - I was meeting a client as part of my freelance work, and dd came along as she's usually ok for such things. However, she bumped her head on a table, and as she is teething, she got more upset than usual, and absolutely insisted on bf. I was very pleased that my client didn't bat an eyelid at all, (maybe because she's European?) and it didn't impact on our meeting one bit, which was such a relief.

chipmonkey · 19/03/2008 18:21

MIL watched that Extreme breastfeeding show on Channel 4 and used to go on and on about me stopping bfing ds3 who was about 18 months at the time. I used to just look bewildered and say
"But he's not 2 yet!" as if everyone bf till at least 2 and it would be mad to consider stopping before then. It did work! After he was 2 she stopped saying anything, I think in case I kept going just to spite her!

AlisonD1 · 20/03/2008 15:13

To add my penny's worth. I bf my son until he was 14 months old. When he was about 8 months old, I was in Bluewater, breastfeeding him in one of the cafes. A woman looked at him, told me he was very cute etc. She then started to look a little uncomfortable, shuffled in her seat and said to me " err, how old is he? How much longer will you be breastfeeding him for?" I looked at her, looked at my watch and said "about 10 minutes, I expect" (with a very straight face). My husband creased with laughter and the lady finished her drink quite quickly and left!

Kirk1 · 20/03/2008 16:47

I fed DD until she was about 15 months, and DS until he was nearly 2. (Now nearly 8, and 4) I still miss the snuggling. Once I was out with DD at an event, and was sat in the cafe tent feeding her. A woman came past patted me on the shoulder and said "Well done". It took me a moment to realise what she was talking about

My Stepmother was odd about bf. When my sister had her first she stopped at 6m. When I said 'already?' SM said 'well isn't that enough?' I was but I didn't say anything. I'm sure it must have shown on my face though...

I'm hoping she'll do better with no 2.

Laino · 20/03/2008 17:19

I had 2 comments from people I know: mother in law said 'you can stop that now' and )more worringly) the head nurse in my work place medical centre (where I was expressing twice a day) said to me 'now you don't want to be doing that at the school gate do you'. Just ignored them. Plenty of people including DH were so positive I just thought I was great! BF till she was 2 yrs. I had some very positive looks and attitudes from people in France. Just ignore them. Well done

Laino · 20/03/2008 17:21

Oh I forgot the best comment was from a hospital peadiatrician (sp?) who thought I was weird still BFing at 12months......I just scoffed at him loudly.

LongtimeinBrussels · 20/03/2008 23:24

I agree with everyone here. You carry on for as long as you like. I bf for around 13 months for my boys and 3½ years for my daughter. When she was born she wouldn't breastfeed (born early, poor sucking reflex - she ended up being fed with a syringe for a while). I ended up bottle feeding her with my expressed milk for six weeks, offering the breast every time. I was giving up hope of her ever breastfeeding (having had no problems with my sons) and was delighted when she finally started at six weeks old (one nurse told me in hospital when she was only a few days old that if she hadn't started breastfeeding by then then she never would!). There was no way I was going to stop despite the comments I got (one uncle said "oh you're not still getting those out, are you?" and that when she was under a year old!).

NoBunny, my grandmother told me not to wash my hair when I had my period (took no notice of course). What was the reasoning behind it, do you know?

saggers · 21/03/2008 09:10

I b'fed DD1 for 2y 2m. She just weaned herself off gradually. I presumed DD2 would do the same. She's now 2y 5m and showing no sign of stopping! She feeds in the morning and at bedtime, but often has a couple of feeds during the day if she's upset, or sleepy, or just wants a bit of a snuggle. Most of my friends stopped bf'ing at around 6 months, but I have one friend whose DD2 is the same age as mine and still going.
I get a lot of comments like, "I can't believe you're still feeding. I just couldn't be bothered with it." And I've also had the "Don't you want your life back?" comment. a good friend said recently, "Oh god you'll have to get her off that." The thing is, it's really no bother to me - it'd be worse to stop at the moment. I do hope, though, that she stops of her own accord, rather than me have to enforce it when she starts school university.