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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Oh my God! Are you still breastfeeding, don't you want your life back?

133 replies

Sushipaws · 17/03/2008 21:49

This is what someone said to me this weekend.

DD is almost one and I'm getting pressure from all sides to stop bf'ing. It's not all strong comments but lots of subtle hints.

DD has 4 bf's a day, most of these are done in the house so I don't even see how it effects anyone else. If I start on bottles now it's just more work and expense and it's not as good for my baby as bf.

I have a life, I work pt, I even went away on a hen weekend recently.

Are there any other freaks like me out there who don't want to stop.

OP posts:
ruty · 18/03/2008 08:53

LOL beansprout, I know exactly what you mean.

Lucyand2 · 18/03/2008 08:57

My mum was the worst for saying weird things about it, she asked if I was going to be one of those freaky women feeding a toddler!
I was actually disappointed when DD1 stopped on her own just after she turned 1!
I intend to let DD2 feed as long as she likes and screw everyone else. Nobody dares say anything to me anymore though!

Overrun · 18/03/2008 09:00

I had this too, including my Dad giving a very stern lecture about it unexpectedly in the pub one night when they were about a year and a half
In the end the dts stopped of their own accord around the 2.5 mark. And some one asked me a few months later (they had got into periodically asking by that point) if I was still feeding them.
The collective sigh of relief and general happiness that met my announcement was bizarre to say the least.

Jackstini · 18/03/2008 09:04

Glad you are feeling the support Sushi - MN is fab for these times.
Am still feeding dd who is 2 next week. They change so gradually from babies to toddlers and she is only on 1 feed a day - makes my life easier to keep feeding, not harder.
If people ask me if when I am going to stop I tell them I don't know - dd hasn't let me know yet!

ruty · 18/03/2008 09:04

doesn't help when 'meeja' doctors on the radio and GMTV, etc, say after 12 months it is just for the mother's benefit. perhaps WHO should circulate some basic material around GP's surgeries...

quarkee · 18/03/2008 09:13

Go for it Sushi - I bf DD until he was 15m and only stopped becasue he wanted to - i work away from home 2 days a week and it was my way of having that bond and snuggly time when i am at home - we just did morning and night in the end and it was fab. I am preg with #2 at the moment and plan to do the same. I just used to get comments from my mil really (EVERY time i saw her it was 'are you still feeding him?' from about 6m onwards grrr) you just have to ignore the comments - they say more aboiut the person uttering them than anything you are doing. Good luck

quarkee · 18/03/2008 09:13

i mean DS not DD - subliminal thinking about #2 i wonder???

imaginewittynamehere · 18/03/2008 09:17

"Don't you want your life back"
I don't & never have understood this. My non breastfeeding life was childless. Now I have a child who likes to breastfeed. Having a child changes your life & you never go back to the previous one, breastfeeding or not. Those who think they will get their life back by losing the time they breastfeed (currently a lovely snuggle 10 mins a day with dd) are seriously deluded, imho of course!

beansprout · 18/03/2008 09:23

Imagine - I totally agree.

When ds1 was 2 he had a hideous sickness bug. So bad that we ended up in A&E with him. The doctor said that b/feeding him was the best thing I could possibly do for him and to just keep offering him feeds. To be able to that instead of faffing around with water, sachets and things he just didn't want, just made me so glad we were still feeding.

I also love the idea that you are making a child feed, when they don't actually want to.

Belgianchocolates · 18/03/2008 09:30

With ds the mw asked me about feeding when I was pregnant and I said I wanted to bf for 4 months (as that's what all my family seemed to do). I got to 4 months and thought "No I can't stop now, he's still a baby, another couple of months will do", a couple of months later I thought the same and after a while I stopped giving myself a limit, as I couldn't really see what the point was in doing that, I ended up bfing him for 19 months and he self weaned during my pregnancy with dd.
DD bf for nearly 2 years, she stopped by herself just a week or so before her 2nd birthday.
Funnily enough it was my own mum who kept asking me when I would stop. My MIL had bf my SIL for over a year, so she understood why I was doing it and was very supportive about it. She must have been v. unusual as that was late 60's and if you'd meet her you'd never guess!
You know I just keep wondering why people think that you get your life back by stopping bf. If you look at it that way, it would mean that AF mums never lost their life in the first place .
I found it did exactly the opposite. I remember one day we went for a drink and then decided to go for a bbq at a friends house, it became v. late and we ended up unexpectedly sleeping over. Now that would have never been possible with an AF baby! So I would like to think that bf let me keep my life (a tiny little bit)

FioFio · 18/03/2008 09:31

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FioFio · 18/03/2008 09:31

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quarkee · 18/03/2008 09:35

i must admit, i LOVED getting back to nice bras after DS stopped bfing (and am currently on the lookout for nice ones for this time round) but it wasnt as good as as having my snuggles - we have big hugs at storytime instead now but it was a lovely period. funnily enough, i used to hate it at the start because it felt like i was doing nothing but am actually looking forward to it w #2 although i suspect ds will try to sabotage thru the green eyed monster...

Belgianchocolates · 18/03/2008 09:47

Quarkee. Siblings aren't necessarily jealous of bf. Mine wasn't jealous of his sister, presumably because I gave him plenty of attention out of feeding times or maybe it's simply because he's just not the jealous type of person, who knows [smil]

lizzytee · 18/03/2008 10:05

I second all that's been said, Sushipaws. I fed dd for 15 months, and it was noticeable that from 6 months on there were clearly people who wondered why I was "still" feeding her. She never slept through the night as a baby (she has only just started doing so at 27 months) and I lost count of the number of times people told me to give her a bottle....given that it seems that she is just wakeful, I am glad I ignored them.

As for the "get your life back" well that's just misinformed....life has changed for ever anyway!

quarkee · 18/03/2008 10:11

Thanks Belgian, my sister had a nightmare with her 2nd DD, the first used to stand on the top of the piano and threaten to chuck herself off! DS is quite jealous though - he even hates it when i hug my sister's dog!!! Will have to be vigilant with fussing I think

beansprout · 18/03/2008 10:11

Which bit of your life do you get back?!! The bit where you get to stand in the kitchen and make up bottles of formula?!

cmotdibbler · 18/03/2008 10:58

Quarkee - look for the HotMilk bfing bras on Figleaves - they don't come much nicer.

And if you feed over a year, nowt wrong with wearing regular underwired bras then, as long as they are well fitted.

ChasingButterflies · 18/03/2008 11:23

lol beansprout/fio, i was asked a few weeks back by a friend - ds was 4mo - if i was "still" bf-ing him and when i said yes, she said "oh, you're doing that a lot longer than normal, aren't you?"
not altogether sure what she meant by "normal"! but i replied that yes, a lot of people do stop before this point, but i was hoping to carry on with it for a while yet.
she then asked: "so when will you start on formula?" she seemed a bit bemused when i said that - if all goes well - i'm hoping not to do that at all.
seems to me that ff is seen as "normal" - nothing wrong with that choice and all that, but it's a bit bizarre when bf is seen as the wacky option...

OrmIrian · 18/03/2008 11:26

18m, 3yrs, 4.5yrs with my 3.

Once you reach a year IME people stop staying stupid things like that and start to accept you are just plain weird. Hang on in there for a few months and it'll get easier.

StealthPolarBear · 18/03/2008 12:04

One of my friends, on seeing I was still bf (still at 10mo) said that her ds had milk in a bottle now as he was a big boy. Again, implcation is that it's something you do as part of their development process - stop and move to ff

FioFio · 18/03/2008 12:24

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NoBunny · 18/03/2008 14:01

I admit, I thought you had to have your baby on a bottle. My mum told me DD1 had to learn how to use a bottle, even if it's just for water. Like many women her age, she has some attachment to cooled boiled water for babies.

Anyway, the HV, during probably her first visit, told me that some babies never have a bottle. So I decided my baby might well be one of those. I was taken in by the follow-on milk thing (the iron! the vits!). But you don't catch me twice. DD2 18 months and as mad for it as the day she was born

quarkee · 18/03/2008 15:24

cmotdibbler thanks for bra reccomedatinos will try them out!

Belgianchocolates · 18/03/2008 22:31

Cmotdibbler. I had a look at those hotmilk bras: wow, they're nice. Oh and they do nighties as well, my soon to be dh will be happy about that. I'll have to get to get some when I get that BFP for no3!