3 day old NB. BF v painful - feel v awful

[tyaca]

hiya,

i was always ambigious about BF'ing and wasnt going to get stressed about it - just take on a day by day basis knowing formula ok if needs be. mainly aiming to get at min as much colostrom as poss in her.

she was born on friday morning and latched and fed within an hour. it was brilliant and i never thought it would be so good to see the way she looked at me when feeding.

managed a few more small feeds that day, but nothing as big as first feed til midnight - but she filled up two big nappies full of poo. then another reasonable feed at 2am. by reasonable, i mean ten min when i know she feeding.

then horrible night in hospital. lo v agitated, mw's on duty v unhelpful but basically said she not getting enough food and that she hungry and did i want formula? at that point she wouldnt bf, had been screaming for 4 hours, no offer of help from anyone (literally had to stand and sob at reception to even get a slightly rude bit of notice). fed her with that and she was obvs v hungry cause calmed down about half hour later.

next day, sat, a v nice mw talked me thru bf'ing again and had a gd 20min feed, but really really hurt in a way that hadnt before. hard not to sob thruout.

too painful and dif when tried to feed later that day and in end asked for more formula when in hospital. discharged yetserday (sat) afternoon and have tried lots of times but am coming to dread it. only v decent feed was with mw help, and even that i cried thru. mw said it will be easier when my milk comes thru properly/ said lo had v strong grip and hard gums and could see how sore she making my nipples already.

so only one proper bf yesterday and one today and rest of the time formula have had quite a few sessions where she's latched had 5-10 gulps that seems like she's feeding but then she stops.

like i said, i wasnt going to get stressed, but even those people who say they didnt b-feed, usually get thru at least a week or two, dont they? also, first 18 hours went so well and i really enjoyed and it didnt hurt at all (and she was def feeding those few times) - so am gutted cause now want to do, where before i did not mind so much

will speak to profs tomo, but feel so new and unsure about all that i thought a shout out into the mn ether might provide some wise words and support

tia

Oh no, poor you. Sounds as though you have had a bad time of it with some unsupportive hospital staff.

You know that you can call the labour ward at any time (24 hrs) and ask for help with bf-ing?

Sorry, I'm no expert with latch problems - but I do know that bf-ing is often difficult to establish, so don't beat yourself up about it. I'm sure you will still be able to get going if you want to (or you'll be able to give it a darned good go anyway).

Someone more knowledgeable will be along soon. Congratulations on your DD.

There are lots of bf experts on mn - but you might not find them at this time on a Sun pm. There are also lots of other places to go for help. I went to NCT antenatal classes and I am sure that that helped significantly re bf - I know that they run bf help for all - really recommend talking to them or someone similar tomorrow morning.

If you can bf it is really good as it will give your dc a really good start in life. However, even with help, some people find that it doesn't work for them - if you're one of them, don't beat yourself up about it.

Good luck, hope that you can get it working for the two of you.

Hi there,
It sounds as if you are doing really well Not sure if I can help, but like you I struggled with b/f at beginning and midwives varied in helpfulness, were often unsympathetic. At start it was very painful - toe-curling - what helped was using lots of lanolin to keep the area moist. The first two weeks were excruciating, but I kept asking for advice until I finally got someone who showed me how to latch on in a way that suited me and my baby. Almost immediately pain stopped at that point. (One counsellor explained it was like getting used to a new pair of shoes - and waiting for the blisters to heal - which best described the process for me)
If I were you I would see a breastfeeding counsellor asap. And keep harrassing them till you get the help you need.
If you really want to b/f you need to keep on trying so that you can stimulate the flow and - so that your baby doesn't get too used to the bottle and give up on the breast.
I'm sorry that you're finding it so hard now, day 3 is also often a difficult time,
but it should get easier all round. Good luck.

cheers guys. too scared to put lanisoh on cause dont want to touch 'em again! will make some calls tomo to people - and look forward to a mn bf expert popping along sometime soon...

tyaca - congrats on yr dd! poor you - you sound drained and stressed, well done on getting this far. its awful that you didnt get as much support as you needed in teh hospital.is yr community midwife coming out - could she help you to track down bf support / counsellors in yr area? i found 1-1 support really helped me get throguh those difficult early times. if it is hurting you so much - and you want to continue - then you need help and giudance with the latch.
good luck - i hope someone like tiktok or hunker comes along to help out. there is some really good support available through bf helplines.
x

bumping!

PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP until you see a bf counsellor!

Just one session can save your breastfeeding.

I highly recommend Lansinoh!

Congratulations on the birth of your dd! The first days are the worst! I'm not an expert but from what I've seen there are plenty on mn.

Breastfeeding is really rewarding, like you've said there is no way to describe the feeling you get when they look at you whilst feeding.

Hope you get some help in the morning, I am sure you will.
Hang on in there.

tyaca - tomorrow may be better and you should insist on good help, too, I agree.

In the meantime, it's important to 'tell' your body the milk is needed....if you really can't bear to feed or the baby is not co-operating, I'm sorry, but you're prob gonna have to express, by hand is often gentler than the pump if you are sore.

Try allowing your baby to self-attach with the biological nurturing position that encourages easy, effective latching (search archives here or on the web) - this often works fantastically well .

Keep checking in here and you will get good help....and try the bf lines and the midwife tomorrow

Congrats Tyaca on the birth of your dd.

Just wanted to offer you some support, I know how you feel, bfing was hard and painful to begin with. I saw a bf counsellor and she really helped me sort out my latch and positioning. 10 weeks on, ds is still fully bfed and it is so much easier. And the look on the little one's face as you are feeding it is just wonderful.
It WILL get better but you need more help - insist on it. What about your dp? Can you get him to support you as well in respect of your need for extra help?
If you can express, make sure the staff give you a cup rather than a bottle to feed your express milk in.
And keep posting here and let us know how you are doing.

COngratulations Tyaca

Do not worry about putting the Lansinoh on, it is tasteless, just use it while LO is asleep.

As you know you have to feed/express for your Milk to come in, once in life gets easier as long as LO has the latch correct. Please call one of the helplines today for some support. Also keep bumping the thread and you will get lots of help on here too. Remember as well that if your milk is not in you will only get a tiny bit when you express, try and save it and feed it to your LO when she wakes (on a spoon if needs be!). I hand expressed into a sterile avent cup and used a syringe.

HTH and good luck.

Chicco Hydrogel Soothing Pads - work miracles. It does get better.

Oh Tyaca love i didn't realise you were having such a tough time xx

Them first few days are tricky and i had a horrible night on day 3 when all i was doing was nursing, but the next day everything just clicked into place i couldn't believe it, i was all set for getting some formula cos i'd had enough.

Lansinoh DOES help, but i found best thing was to express a bit of milk and rub it all around nips and leave your top of for as long as possible (not always very practicall though)

Please don't let yourself get too upset though xxx

lansinoh lansinoh lansinoh!!

and then as soon as you can, get a BFC to check your latch

that combination saved my life! well my bf-ing at least!

i fully sympathise, it's hell. remember you can take paracetemol when bf-ing - i took 2 a couple of times a day and it took the edge off some feeds. and its amazing how quickly you'll heal up once the latch is right. good luck.

Very true, Caz - the lansinoh really helped me - I had cracked nipples too which healed up very quickly. The Lansinoh has a slight numbing effect.
They are also very good on cracked knuckles - my skin is very very dry now!

baby cafes are marvelous. lots of good support from knowledgeable mws and peer supporters, and it is soooo good to meet other mums and know you are not alone in finding bf hard-going to start with. keep persevering, and seek help from nct la leche league or abm. things will get easier, honest. good luck, and congrats on your dd

Hope you are finding some more help now Tyaca and can see a bf counsellor soon. There are also a few videos on a lot of those sites to look at helping with latch.
It is quite possible your milk hasn't come in yet too, think mine came in on day 6. Also babies are made to only drink tiny amounts at the moment (stomach size of a walnut!) and usually whatever you are making is enough.
Congrats on your baby and good luck - you CAN do it

hey - found you! Sounds REALLY similar to my experience - started ok for the first few hours then a screaming baby who the midwives told me was starving. He changed his latch position as soon as he'd had the bottle cause he kept making these funny little noises with his mouth when he was hungry. But not unlearnable. Lansinoh works SO quickly.

Stay as calm as you can - I was dreading every feed but made myself talk to Malcolm in a happy way as we were getting ready to feed - smiling through tears - but taking the time to ready yourself, making sure you've got good light etc makes a huge difference. Also DP's hand to squeeze through the pain so as not to squeeze the baby too much!

You'll probably know ALL about it when your milk comes in and then it may well become a different story - plenty of milk and all start to come together. If you suffer when it comes in get in the shower and massage your boobs with a flannel before you try to feed in long firm downwards strokes towards your nipple.
Also I found a pump invaluable - still use it quite a bit now when I can't face a "real feed" - not as sore as a baby's gums and it lets you see how much you're producing and how much the baby takes too. If you haven't got one I got the avent manual pump £25 which works fine for me.

If you're in day 4 I think that was my lowest day - scary boobs and baby blues..... this too shall pass Good luck doll.

oh and btw - leave the lansinoh on your fingerip for a minute or so to let it melt before application!

i have a ds2 who is 3 weeks old, has been much harder to b/f than ds1, doesn't latch on so well, i got some help from a midwife who'd been on a course to help mothers with b/f, made huge difference even to experienced b/f i considered myself to be! lansinoh def helps too... it will get better... and ridiculous for m/w to say baby is starving and offer formula, totally self defeating. baby needs to feed to get your milk to come in - took 4 days with ds2 and more like a week to really get milk supply properly established. good luck.

Hi- Have been where you are!

DD is two weeks tommorrow. First week was hell, exactly same experience as you. I had Bfed before as well. So wasnt expecting to be in so much pain.

It's very emotional and painful and gets you down, BUT trust me you will turn a corner.

Another week on and it has all clicked in to place for me.

The things that helped me through this were;

1. lansinoh (can not recommend this stuff enough) rub it on your nipples just before and just after a feed). You need it slightl melted as suggested in earlier post.

2. combine the above with rubbing your own milk into your nipples and allow them to air dry (as other poster suggested)

3. 'get some nipple guards'. You can order 'small' nipple guards off of Avent website. Using them will allow you to bfeed but at the same time give your nipples some respite to heal (use for 48 hours)

4. Try different positions at each feed. Again gives your nipples a break

5. If it gets too bad pain wise - express. I had to express off one breast for 24 hrs cos of the toe curling pain of her latching. But dont express continually. Do 30 secs on /30 secs off.

6. yes latching- a visit from a bf counsellor could just be re-assuring, help you try different positions, improve the latch. Although the latch may be fine and its just your nipples have to go through the pain barrier then they will toughen up.
   (new shoes analogy- very apt)

7. If you get to the point of no return, give formula, but dont beat yourself up over it. It will also give your nipples a rest and time to heal. In other words allowing you to continue with the b'feeding.

Hope this helps...good luck.

Yes sorry forgot to add-If you can get through about a week this way, your milk will come in...this is the biggest turning point IMO.

Hi Tyaca
Just wanted to say you're not alone. I had a very similar experience in hospital (and it's the second time for me - I breastfed my DD1 for 7 months, so experience doesn't count for much in my case!). DD2 is now fully BF and, although it's still uncomfortable, her latch is still not fantastic and my nipples still hurt, it's nothing like the first few days (she's now just over 3 weeks).

Try and keep at it if you can. I hated BFing my daughter at first and ended up loving it and was really upset when she self-weaned at 7 months.

Good luck, it's not easy and it does strike at the core of our mothering instinct.
X

Hi Tyaca,
I remembered during the night that I was given painkillers after my cesarian which I was aware were helping me face the b/f. If you find out from the m/w which are safe, this might help you get through the worst couple of days.
Hang in there, it will get easier. x

I found first 2/3 weeks with both daughters v sore-in fact found biting onto wooden spoon during each feed helped!! Lansinoh a godsend and then someone suggested guiding the nipple to the centre of the roof of babies mouth which felt better. Am now expecting 3rd in coupla weeks and not looking forward to those first weeks bf again. I bf the others for 18 months though so once your over those first killer feeds everything clicks into place and is great and if not you've already given the best possible start so congratulate yourself!!