3 day old NB. BF v painful - feel v awful

[tyaca]

hiya,

i was always ambigious about BF'ing and wasnt going to get stressed about it - just take on a day by day basis knowing formula ok if needs be. mainly aiming to get at min as much colostrom as poss in her.

she was born on friday morning and latched and fed within an hour. it was brilliant and i never thought it would be so good to see the way she looked at me when feeding.

managed a few more small feeds that day, but nothing as big as first feed til midnight - but she filled up two big nappies full of poo. then another reasonable feed at 2am. by reasonable, i mean ten min when i know she feeding.

then horrible night in hospital. lo v agitated, mw's on duty v unhelpful but basically said she not getting enough food and that she hungry and did i want formula? at that point she wouldnt bf, had been screaming for 4 hours, no offer of help from anyone (literally had to stand and sob at reception to even get a slightly rude bit of notice). fed her with that and she was obvs v hungry cause calmed down about half hour later.

next day, sat, a v nice mw talked me thru bf'ing again and had a gd 20min feed, but really really hurt in a way that hadnt before. hard not to sob thruout.

too painful and dif when tried to feed later that day and in end asked for more formula when in hospital. discharged yetserday (sat) afternoon and have tried lots of times but am coming to dread it. only v decent feed was with mw help, and even that i cried thru. mw said it will be easier when my milk comes thru properly/ said lo had v strong grip and hard gums and could see how sore she making my nipples already.

so only one proper bf yesterday and one today and rest of the time formula have had quite a few sessions where she's latched had 5-10 gulps that seems like she's feeding but then she stops.

like i said, i wasnt going to get stressed, but even those people who say they didnt b-feed, usually get thru at least a week or two, dont they? also, first 18 hours went so well and i really enjoyed and it didnt hurt at all (and she was def feeding those few times) - so am gutted cause now want to do, where before i did not mind so much

will speak to profs tomo, but feel so new and unsure about all that i thought a shout out into the mn ether might provide some wise words and support

tia

hope your feeding is settling for you now. it does hurt at first, i found that rubbing a little of my breatmilk into my nipple helped to soothe them a lot.

i cant remeber who was worried about their lo getting excema cos they didn't succsfully breasfeed, i had prob's with my son and breastfeeding, i desperately wanted to, but he was 4 weeks early, wouldnt open his mouth properly to latch on,,and i didnt get the support i needed, so he ended up bottle fed from day 5 onwards. then at just over 2 yrs old he got the worst excema i have ever seen cracked bleeding skin etc etc, i beat myself up over giving up so easily for years.
then i had dd and thought i couldnt feed ds so wont manage her, said this to the mw virtually as soon as she was born- she was latched on as soon as i was stitched and stopped shaking. the mw was brilliant very helpful- and dd opened her mouth- lol always helps. she was exclusively breastfed til 6 months. we're just approachin her 2nd birthday and guess what- the dreaded excema has reared it ugly head, and she's asthmatic diagnosed at a yr old
so in my experiance breastfeeding is good for your baby, dont get me wrong but it doesnt give any guarantees

good luck to all those with newborns, and the toe curling phase will pass, don't give up

also to echo what mrsshackleton says i'm just as close with my son as my daughter (as well as poss, as he's 9 now so approaching teenage dont even talk to me mum moments )
the only difference with feeding was i could feed her wherever and as soon as she wanted, no running round trying to find someone to heat the bottle whilst out shopping.
did have some good questions from my nephew who was 3 when dd was born about breastfeeding, he decided that its "skanky" lol

hi guys, ty all for your support and comments. i have just done my second full day bf'ing, and while i know that may seem like a modest acheivement, it feels v big to me. every day/feed is an extra one - so i'll take that as my mantra.

it def feels a bit easier - both the physical sensation and the practicalities. a couple of things i've noticed in lo - she's puking far less, hardly at all. she's filling a lot more nappies (tho' am going to speak to cmw about this tomo, liquid bright yellow?? does that sound ok?), and lastly, and a bit weirdly, her breasts have come back. she had swollen breasts a bit at birth and they've returned. assume thats cause of raised estrogen//hormone levels coming from me? again, will ask cmw about this.

taliac - your experience with your first really sounds like where i'm headed. its so interesting just how big an impact a comment like the mw's can have on the way you approach these things. i am going to bite the bullet and aim to give up the sheilds tomo. it hurt at first using the sheilds, and i got past it, so hoping i can get past this new hurdle as well. will pop some painkillers first!

i've lost track of the times i was told bf'ing doesnt hurt before dd was born. such a load of tosh - and also not very helpful when its so not true. the nice mw at the hospital who helped me during the day did keep on saying it shouldnt be hurting - and i was like, yes but it does. not helpful when healthcare people say things like that which just arent true. people should say "yes, it may hurt, but...."

wish me luck with the giving up of sheilds tomo.

Not posted on your thread before..
You are doing so well it has been great to read the developments you and your little one have made.
Poo.. well for us it went from marmite meconium to chicken Korma (without the chicken!) loose yellowish with flecks in it.

Taking the shields off.. Well yes do it but you don't have to go cold turkey.. take them off for the start of the feed then put them back on when you just can't take it any more, then you will probably find (well I did) that the feed is over and you haven't put the shield on.

Good luck

yellow poo- almost flourescent at times? yep breastfeeding poo! almost water like, shocking at first but perfectly normal.
i dont know about the breast thing, but i would assume its the hormone thingg, similar to lo that sometimes have "periods" whilst breastfeedin.
congratulations on getting this far, and good luck trying with out the shields. sending positive waves your way, hoping to help it all go perfectly!

Hang on in there is my advice. I too had problems with very sore (and sometimes bleeding - sorry if tmi) nipples. My midwife actually went out and bought me nipple shields! Don't give up using the shields because you think you should. If it is still painful I would advise continuing to use them. The only way I could feed was with using a shield and in the end I used them for about 4 weeks. I took the view that feeding with a shield at least meant DD was getting breast milk and better that than giving up. By the time DD got to 6 weeks, nipples had toughned up and it all felt natural but it took that long for it to feel 100% right. I had the latch checked loads of times as I thought that was what was causing the problems but was told there were no probs and that my nipples just needed to toughen up! Not sure how you pre-prepare your nipples for the onslaught of b/f - walking round the house with them exposed for a few weeks?! Anyway it does get easier so keep it up and I promise in a few weeks you will wonder what you were worrying about and then you will be worrying about something new like when to feed them solids! The one thing I do know is that the pain of childbirth is a hazy memory but the pain of sore nipples still makes my toes curl when I think about it!

I really feel for you with such unhelpful MWs.

If it's sore on your nipples or painful, the baby probably isn't taking your nipple far enough back into her mouth.

-get comfy in a chair/middle of sofa away from arms of sofa and make sure your body is in an L-shape, shoulders not hunched and that you're relaxed.
-Try holding your DD with the arm opposite your feeding breast. This can often make it easier to get her head in the right place to latch on.

• Make sure she comes towards the breast with her mouth wide open and that she takes as much areola at the bottom of the breast as possible (asymetrically). This will mean that the nipple goes far back to the soft pallet and therefore not rub your nipples.

Try the above and see how you get on.
Remember, it's extremely rare for a mother not to have enough milk and not be able to feed her baby herself so once you're sure she's attached well, you'll have less pain and be happier to BF.

Bumping this thread, as I am also having problems and would like to know how the OP got on!

My ds is latching on great and feeding really well, its just the toe curling pain.
He is 9 days old and milk is fully in.

Any advice greatly appreciated