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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Is there any way to go forwards from here?

78 replies

Summermeadowflowers · 22/08/2023 20:23

DD was a tricky feeder from the very start and I really did try to get support with feeding but things seemed to get worse rather than better and now she just won’t feed at all, she just cries hysterically if I try to breastfeed her.

Part of me feels I should just accept the inevitable of formula feeding but I really really want to breastfeed and I am just wondering if there’s anything I haven’t already thought of that might solve this? She is 5 weeks.

OP posts:
Mrsphilmiller · 22/08/2023 20:28

Lead the breast to the baby rather than the baby to the breast?
did you try that?

Original poster
Summermeadowflowers · 22/08/2023 20:29

I have or the nipple anyway … she just cries and gets upset.

OP posts:
Mrsphilmiller · 22/08/2023 20:32

I also struggled a lot so don’t really know what else to suggest. But wish you a lot of luck because I loved breastfeeding even though it was really hard. But I did switch to formula in the end

Original poster
Summermeadowflowers · 22/08/2023 20:33

I can live with really hard, but I just can’t get her to feed at all now and am really low about it.

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Mrsphilmiller · 22/08/2023 20:37

when I ate porridge for breakfast , for some reason I would have really good milk supply for the next feed. Maybe try that.

Original poster
Summermeadowflowers · 22/08/2023 20:38

I don’t think there is a problem with my milk supply, it is that she won’t take it. I can’t get her to feed: she cries and resists and gets really upset if she is anywhere near the breast. It’s really upsetting.

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Garman · 22/08/2023 20:40

Have you seen a lactation consultant?

justamumnow · 22/08/2023 20:46

Have you got any breastfeeding support groups nearby? They usually have people there who can help you with positioning etc. With my first it took about 8 weeks until I felt I was able to enjoy breastfeeding and I then fed him until he was 2 (just for bedtime after 1). If you really want to then I would encourage you to keep going and try a support group....but equally as long as your baby is fed and your both happy don't feel guilty about formula ...main thing is that your both happy

Original poster
Summermeadowflowers · 22/08/2023 20:57

It isn’t about feeling guilty to be honest. It is simply that I don’t want to. Guilt doesn’t really come into it. I want to breastfeed her and I can’t understand where I’ve gone so wrong. I’ve seen a lactation consultant.

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ellyo · 22/08/2023 21:00

Does your HV team have an infant feeding specialist they can refer you too? Mine was invaluable and genuinely got me through. I had such a hard time with DS, born in COVID and such little support. We persevered and I was so glad we did, but the support makes all the difference. If the current lactation consultant isn't helping, a new one may be a better fit

Original poster
Summermeadowflowers · 22/08/2023 21:02

I’m not sure how many are in my area and they aren’t cheap - it cost me over £100 and hasn’t actually helped in breastfeeding! The infant feeding team do try to support but as above they haven’t actually offered any real solutions, which sounds critical and isn’t meant that way - it’s as if she just won’t, of course it won’t be ‘logical’ like that but I genuinely think she’d starve rather than feed.

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Springbaby2023 · 22/08/2023 21:04

Lots of skin to skin and don’t try to latch her if upset, only when calm.

Breastfeeding support network are brilliant, give them a call as well as finding out asap what in person support is available in your area. Many children’s centres run feeding groups.

Good luck, I really hope it works out for you

Springbaby2023 · 22/08/2023 21:05

Oh and have you tried nipple shields? They were a life saver for me with my first! He just couldn’t get the hang of the latch. Weaned himself off them at six or seven weeks no problem.

Pastaf0rbreakfast · 22/08/2023 21:05

Was the lactation consultant you saw an ibclc? If not I would book in to see one as soon as possible, it can be a bit pricey - but so is formula and if you want to avoid that then I’d say it’s worth it.

How is baby feeding now? Does she take a bottle if you express? Or are you supplementing with formula? If she is really hungry that won’t be helping things.

Also, she will pick up on your stress and tension so try and be ultra calm when attempting a feed. Easier said than done I know!

Pastaf0rbreakfast · 22/08/2023 21:07

Also a pp mentioned, tons of skin to skin with no pressure, just relax together.

catsnore · 22/08/2023 21:09

Have you tried baby led latching? Just lay her on you skin to skin and allow her to move to the breast herself. I didn't believe it would work until I tried it. They sort of wriggle themselves around!

Your health visitor should be able to connect you with feeding support? I found an amazing lady at a breastfeeding support group who helped me so much.

Binglebongledingledangle · 22/08/2023 21:09

Try having a bath together or lying next to her in bed with a boob out. If she's calm, the skin to skin might remind her how to latch herself.

Good luck. I've been here with one that refused to latch and it really did make me feel sad. Another tip a lactation consultant gave me was to "pump" (squeeze) my breast as soon as baby latched so they're not waiting for a let down.

Whiskeypowers · 22/08/2023 21:11

Has she been checked for posterior tongue tie? They can cause fussy feeders

Binglebongledingledangle · 22/08/2023 21:12

I also used nipple shields for a while. Kept me breastfeeding when it looked like I'd have to stop. Weaned off them eventually and then fed to 3.5!

ChiccoBanana · 22/08/2023 21:13

Both of mine had phases like this when very small. Best thing was to feed as they were stirring to wake up or if I didn’t get that to rock backwards and forwards while standing up and singing or humming or playing white noise until they were really soothed and sleepy and then bringing them to the nipple. It’s really hard though. A nursing glider is really helpful.

also look up the article “when baldy doesn’t want your tit” by Emma Pickett x

Original poster
Summermeadowflowers · 22/08/2023 21:19

I did have limited success with nipple shields but not now.

Lactation consultant was an ibclc and I saw her when DD was just a week old.

She doesn’t latch if you try skin to skin, she just gets really stressed because she can smell milk but can’t get to it and cries.

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Springbaby2023 · 22/08/2023 21:21

Try skin to skin not at feeding time, a bath like a pp has suggested is a great idea. When you say because she can’t get to it, do you mean because she’s refusing to latch?

Original poster
Summermeadowflowers · 22/08/2023 21:23

I don’t think she knows what to do. If she’s on my chest or stomach she just starts banging her head around and crying. If you guide her to the breast she gets beside herself.

I am not convinced there’s much more I can do but it’s beyond frustrating when you have a hungry baby and breasts with milk and you have to give formula Sad

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wanttoplayboardgames · 22/08/2023 21:27

Could you express and feed her by bottle?

Just to say I really wanted to breastfeed too. First 2 weeks we really got the hang of it - but then I was seriously ill and blue lighted in an ambulance, my husband was properly left holding the baby! She wasn't allowed my milk whilst I was in hospital, and when I eventually got home I was too tired to pump at the rate needed... so she's been on formula since she was 3 weeks old.

She's absolutely thriving, gaining weight perfectly and is a happy little baby, so if you do try formula, know it's absolutely OK ❤️

Original poster
Summermeadowflowers · 22/08/2023 21:35

Thats what I’m trying to do but it’s so so hard finding time to express with a needy baby and toddler. I feel like my life revolves around the breast pump. There’s nothing wrong with formula but I don’t want to feed that way.

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