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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

tell me how to stop breastfeeding my 3 (in a fortnight) year old

52 replies

popsycal · 21/02/2008 15:22

He only has a short feed before bed and a slighter longer one in the morning. Although he does occasionally ask in the day if he is upset/hurt - usually I can distract him.

So far:

  • I don't offer ever and usually distract if it isn't at bedtime/morning
  • have bought him a special cup to encourage bed time drinks (he tends to have a short feed then has his drink)

He is keen to be a 'big boy' so that might be a possible angle.

I feel the time has come now for me and have felt like this for a good few months. I want my boobs back for the few months before dc3 (OMG I SAID THAT OUT LOUD!!!) arrives and want enough of a gap from him feeding so that he does not feel pushed out.

Any suggestions?
I fear 'cold turkey' will be extremely difficult and quite upsetting for him.

OP posts:
Original poster
popsycal · 21/02/2008 16:00

anyone?

i know i am not the only one.....

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hercules1 · 21/02/2008 16:03

I did it cold turkey at the same age, popsycal. DD did cry a bit but only for a short while. I took her to bed when she was really tired and read lots of stories and was very firm about now feeding. I got up early in the morning and got dressed and brught her straight downstairs.

It only took 2 or 3 days of doing this and we talked about how she was a big girl now.

Original poster
popsycal · 21/02/2008 16:47

I think i may have to try it I guess. He is away for 2 nights at in laws right now and does not bat an eye lid when i am not there.

May be an opportunity to carry on when he gets home....

May also be an idea for me to go out of the house at bed time for a good few nights as again, he does not bat an eyelid if dh puts him to bed. However, if I am in, he wants me.....

Will have a good think. Thanks hercules

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Original poster
popsycal · 21/02/2008 16:49

also he is 3 in two weeks and I have kind of suggested that he will stop feeding when he is 3 as he is a really big boy - we went out and chose his cup in preparation....

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hercules1 · 21/02/2008 16:49

Yes, this sounds like the perfect time to do it. I stopped with ds by telling him I had medicine that meant the milk would make him poorly. He was fine but a little older.

It is such an amazing liberating feeling to stop breastfeeding! for me anyway.

Original poster
popsycal · 21/02/2008 17:19

yes I am more than ready!
6 month break then back for more

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PeckaRolloverAgain · 22/02/2008 11:43

I bow down popsy! Im struggling a bit at 7 WEEKS!!!!

Original poster
popsycal · 22/02/2008 12:21

less of the bowing pecka

its way easier to contuiue than to stop now....

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Original poster
popsycal · 22/02/2008 12:22

jsu to add - i struglled at aroubd the same time pecka - i remember posting on here asking when on earth it would get easier

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miku · 22/02/2008 12:34

i had to give a 3 day prep to my dd-then 2nhalf.and had to be really firm that she was a big girl, and time to use a cup.....had tried so many different ways but found it was down to my willpower,and consistency in the end.she was a poppet, and tried for her bedtime boobie, but it took 3days of trying and then no probs!
sounds like you have everything ready to go thru with it, and now IS the perfect time,to continue abstinence after he comes back.if you feel worried bout lack of closeness, stories special time and cuddles all help!!

miku · 22/02/2008 12:39

oh and HUGE praise for doing so well at using her cup and becoming a big girl!
really good luck,it was emotionally difficult to stop for me, but boy, i really needed to!

Original poster
popsycal · 23/02/2008 19:09

omg that was so easy
ds2 is currently sleeping in ds1's room as we are decorating. He asked for a feed but i managed to distract him with only a bit of whinging from him. He asked for his special cup and 3 stories (as he is nearly 3...;)) and 3 songs.....

he is fast asleep

the real test will be the morning

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sakurarose39 · 24/02/2008 05:31

well done popsycal!
I stopped breastfeeding my DS on his third birthday - explained that he was a big boy now etc. We were only feeding once before bedtime, and had talked about stopping on his birthday for a few weeks before. When it came to bedtime, he cried like his heart was breaking for about 10 minutes really kind of grieving... but the next night, he didn't even ask.
hope this morning goes well too!
I was sooo relieved to stop breastfeeding by then, and felt fine with it...I got REALLY emotional though, when the kids went into their own room (DD was nearly 5, DS 3.5) and we had co-slept until then. We moved them into bunkbeds in their own room, and I was in floods "They're not babies anymore...WAIL"

CantSleepWontSleep · 24/02/2008 07:49

Well done Popsy - how did this morning go?

miku · 24/02/2008 11:07

am dying to know too.........how did it go???.......am sending you lotsa strength, but it sounds like your little one is also ready to stop.

sakurarose39 · 24/02/2008 12:02

me too! hope it went OK, popsycal.

sorry for the hijack, but miku, I think I remember reading on another thread (multicultural) that your DH is Japanese? do you know about this group? I'm the moderator

Original poster
popsycal · 24/02/2008 14:15

It was harder this morning. He sauntered in around 5:30 - which is pretty good going for him. He got quite upset but in the end accepted his cup with a drink. He has asked a little bit this morning - which is unusual for him - but has accepted without a problem.

He is having a nap now which he only has about once a week. Am not going to let him sleep long as it will mean he is up later and less tired which may make things more difficult.

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Sputnik · 24/02/2008 14:40

Well done
How about giving him a litte "stopping bf present" (I'm all for bribery in these situations).

Walnutshell · 24/02/2008 14:57

Hope you don't mind the deviation, pops, but how did you get the feeds down to bedtime/morning? Ds (2.4) is still feeding regularly in the daytime and I am finding it hard when in a public situation to deal with him - he gets hysterical. Coward that I am, I don't want to feed him in all situations and actually I wouldn't mind the freedom in the daytime now. Can't bear days of screaming though.

Original poster
popsycal · 24/02/2008 15:13

walnutshell - ds2 was the same at that age. I had to start becoming very firm. First at home before trying out of the house. Saying that, he was never bothered out of the house at that age.

I basically distracted and bribed him (how about some grapes/a biscuit instead...).

Even until last week, he still occasionally asked during the day and had I ever offered, he would certainly have taken me up on the offer . Lots of 'ooooooooh look at this ds2, etc etc

Good luck - it is hard work

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Original poster
popsycal · 24/02/2008 15:14

sputnik - that sounds good! I am at work the next 2 days but I think we will go and choose something on wednesday

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saltire · 24/02/2008 15:21

Popsycal - how are you? How are all your aches and pains?

Original poster
popsycal · 24/02/2008 15:25

Aches and pains not too bad after my HUGE relapse in mid january. However, there is now a further complication.....dc3 is on its way.....

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Elasticwoman · 24/02/2008 15:31

How about getting Daddy to do the bedtime routine for a while, and concentrate on getting him to forget the evening feed before tackling the morning one? Perhaps you could arrange to be out at his bedtime for a while.

Also, tell him that you are sore and it hurts mummy to feed, now you are having another baby (if you are showing and have told him about forthcoming baby). But you can still give him lots of cuddles so that he doesn't have to feel he's losing the closeness to you.

Walnutshell · 24/02/2008 16:46

Thanks pops, I am going to put firmness into practice from this moment on - I've just got to the stage where although it is easier to feed than not (and I like b'fing) I can see the benefits of not being 'bothered' for it in the daytime.

Congratulations on number 3 btw!