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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

tell me how to stop breastfeeding my 3 (in a fortnight) year old

52 replies

popsycal · 21/02/2008 15:22

He only has a short feed before bed and a slighter longer one in the morning. Although he does occasionally ask in the day if he is upset/hurt - usually I can distract him.

So far:

  • I don't offer ever and usually distract if it isn't at bedtime/morning
  • have bought him a special cup to encourage bed time drinks (he tends to have a short feed then has his drink)

He is keen to be a 'big boy' so that might be a possible angle.

I feel the time has come now for me and have felt like this for a good few months. I want my boobs back for the few months before dc3 (OMG I SAID THAT OUT LOUD!!!) arrives and want enough of a gap from him feeding so that he does not feel pushed out.

Any suggestions?
I fear 'cold turkey' will be extremely difficult and quite upsetting for him.

OP posts:
Original poster
popsycal · 24/02/2008 18:15

walnut - i was in the same boat as you tbh

distraction works too
also I think i restricted it to his bedroom only from around 2 and a half - made it a 'rule'

OP posts:
CantSleepWontSleep · 24/02/2008 21:02

Good going! How was bedtime tonight?

Walnutshell - I am in much the same position as you with dd (just 2), except that I am also pregnant (only 8 weeks so far). I used to feed just first thing and last thing, but it's totally out of control at the moment, especially if we are in the house or dd is tired (she refuses to sleep in the day apart from an occasional collapse on my lap whilst latched on). Good luck with trying to cut down, and if you find any magic answers then do let me know - dd won't be swayed by offer of a biscuit or whatever - she'd have that and then be back demanding boo-boo again!

PhDlifeNeedsaNewLife · 24/02/2008 21:06

Popsycal, I have NO experience but I heard a good one recently from my dsis - she had a mate who put band-aids over her nips and told her ds they were "broken". He totally accepted it and never looked back

chipmonkey · 24/02/2008 21:38

Popsy, congratulations!!! When is dc3 due?

chelseamorning · 25/02/2008 12:12

Just logged on to post a similar thread and found your helpful answers/comments. It's great to hear some success stories!!

I'm in a similar position to Popyscal but my DS is 16 months. He has my milk just before bedtime and then during the night if he wakes through teething. He may also then have a small feed just before his nap if we're at home. Bad habit, I know, but it's easier when you're tired!!

As he's only 16 months, I'm not really able to reason with him or bribe him into stopping. He'll drink a very small amount from a cup but nothing substantial and so I'm concerned about his milk intake if I do stop.

Any suggestions please?

miku · 25/02/2008 14:34

chelseamorn-I cant offer any advice, cos as you say, reasoning and bribery didnt work with my dd!
I tried marmite on my boob!!! to try and disuade her from what seemed to be a reassurance thing, and she said yuck!!! and kept away but unfortunately caught me after a bath if i remember rightly.
also tried to never be sitting down, to wear impossible clothes all of which I couldnt be consistent with!!!
ask someone with willpower.......sorry.
Popsycal, really well done!!!!!!!!keep strong

miku · 25/02/2008 14:34

chelseamorn-I cant offer any advice, cos as you say, reasoning and bribery didnt work with my dd!
I tried marmite on my boob!!! to try and disuade her from what seemed to be a reassurance thing, and she said yuck!!! and kept away but unfortunately caught me after a bath if i remember rightly.
also tried to never be sitting down, to wear impossible clothes all of which I couldnt be consistent with!!!
ask someone with willpower.......sorry.
Popsycal, really well done!!!!!!!!keep strong

miku · 25/02/2008 14:35

chelseamorn-I cant offer any advice, cos as you say, reasoning and bribery didnt work with my dd!
I tried marmite on my boob!!! to try and disuade her from what seemed to be a reassurance thing, and she said yuck!!! and kept away but unfortunately caught me after a bath if i remember rightly.
also tried to never be sitting down, to wear impossible clothes all of which I couldnt be consistent with!!!
ask someone with willpower.......sorry.
Popsycal, really well done!!!!!!!!keep strong

miku · 25/02/2008 14:37

so sorry!my computer froze as i was posting hence 3 msgs

cmotdibbler · 25/02/2008 14:43

I'm joining for a bit of moral support as I'll be trying to wean DS in May as he'll be two, and I think thats enough. Esp considering DH wanted us to give up when he was one !
DS is only really bothered about the getting up feed. He usually has a 5.30ish evening feed, but sometimes doesn't ask for that, but the morning one always happens if I'm here.
I've moved it to downstairs after taking his sleeping bag off etc (rather than being in our bed), but hope to find more ways of separating the thought process.

Sputnik · 26/02/2008 10:58

CMOT maybe just bustling around doing something else, so you kind of "forget", and then move on as swiftly as possible to breakfast? It only takes a few days really to break the association. BTW I stopped bfing my DD a little over 2, when I was pg. It was much easier than I'd thought really.

I love the band-aid suggestion

chelseamorning · 26/02/2008 11:00

So what is your bedtime routine, cmotdibbler, milk-wise? Does he just go down without a milk feed or will he take a cup? My DS wants boobies and won't take a cup at night. He'll drink a little during the day but not much really.

Please, ladies, I'm desperate to give up bf but seem to be caught in a huge rut!

chelseamorning · 26/02/2008 11:06

I'd be interested to know just 'how' you did it, Sputnik. I can't 'forget' an evening feed when it's me that's putting him to bed. My DH works until late so there's no-one else to help or distract him at the moment.

miku · 26/02/2008 12:26

it is all about changing a routine.and it can be difficult.so decide on a plan of action and stick to it.at bed time make him up a small warm drink, for example, and tell him 'milk all gone'.Really believe it yourself, and he will too.
I found it SO hard cos i always gave in to the tears but got so upset at not having my own body that i realised I had to just be really firm, and it was alot easier when Id REALLY made up my mind and had a pln of action to follow.
I hope you get some more advice cos Ive so been there.I also was on my own for bedtime, and that was the hardest time.
It really was about changing the bedtime routine, and any change for a little one can be upsetting, so they need reassurance, from YOU being strong and gentle.......good luck CM.keep posted

duchesse · 26/02/2008 12:37

I weaned my third a week before her second birthday (for the same reasons as you minus the impending arrival). I said to her:

"It's your birthday next week. You're going to be a big girl, and you don't need mummy milk any more."

She said: "Ok!"

That was it. She never asked again.

Yes, you could have knocked me down with a feather as well (she's a rather willful child in all other respects).

Surely worth a try though? [ hopeful emoticon ]

Sputnik · 26/02/2008 16:23

The bedtime feed was the last to go for us and the toughest, she fed to sleep. TBH she did get upset (so did I), it was just the once, next evening she accepted it and was ok with a cuddle.

Original poster
popsycal · 26/02/2008 19:19

I think I officially have my boobs back. Do I get a 'These are MY boobs!' t shirt do you think?

Bedtimes are fine. No whinging tonight though he did ask. Mornings are still tricky as he is still sneaking into bed with us somewhere between 3 and 5 and on waking, he gets a bit stressed for a feed. But it is fine and getting easier.

I am surprised how unemotional I am about it. Really surprised actually!

OP posts:
CantSleepWontSleep · 26/02/2008 20:52

Well done popsycal! A t-shirt would have such a short ife span with dc3 on the way, so I'd prob hold off for now .

chelseamorning · 26/02/2008 21:49

Thanks for the replies. I'll think of a grand plan and then stick to it!!

Good on ya Popsycal! At least you know what works so you can apply it to dc3!

Thanks for the thread. MN is just great!

Sputnik · 26/02/2008 21:57

Don't get that t-shirt printed just yet Popsycal, it's been nearly a year and a half since I stopped BFing DD and she still insists their hers
Or perhaps she's just weird.

chelseamorning · 26/02/2008 21:59

Funny, my DH keeps saying mine are his and he wants them back!!!

Laino · 28/02/2008 17:19

Ah I'm welling up reading this. I stopped just short of my dd 2nd birthday (a year ago). I really missed the morning feed (that's all we had for the previous 6 months) - dh whisked her off one morning, she had a feed the next, but after that she went downstairs without a prob. She did immediately start asking for 'tummy time'. All the time pulling my top and just putting her checks/face on my stomach. She still does it - 'lets lie on the bed and have some tummy time mum'. And she loves it when she's tired/upset. Its a skin contact thing. Bless
I think I was more upset than she was

chelseamorning · 28/02/2008 23:19

Ahhh, that's so sweet, Laino! Bf is so lovely. I've really enjoyed my time but eventually you have to call it a day, whatever the reason. At least you're still able to maintain that closeness and long may it continue! x

cmotdibbler · 29/02/2008 08:57

Sorry Chelseamorning, had to go away for work for a couple of days.
After his 'coming back from nursery feed' he often doesn't have any more milk, but if I'm not around he usually has some milk with a straw (his favoured method) at some point between 5.30 and 6.30. He doesn't have any milk (booby or otherwise) close to bedtime at all.

The straw drink does seem to work well as its more exciting than a sippy cup. DS does have a distressing tendency to blow bubbles in it (we have these cups with a lid that has a hole in it just big enough for a straw), but thats part of the attraction for him.

Is there someone you could get to come and help you for a few evenings to try and separate booby and bed ? Or try offering booby earlier in the evening so that you deal with the close association first, and then drop it ?

We are working on dropping the evening feed first, but also on moving the morning feed out from as soon as he wakes up.

KJBM · 29/02/2008 21:38

Ha Thanks you for these posts. I have found it so reassuring. Thought it was was just me struggling to give up. Tried last year when daughter 1 1/2. She accepted immediatly but after three days was like cross between Pammy and Jordan so had to go back. Health Vis and La leche not much help. So I tried bf every other day and then evry third etc. Now onto every 5th day. I found a cuddle with her on the nights I was not feeding helped. I give her a cup of milk every night and I always give her a good cup of milk prior to any bf to fill her up and therefore take less.. and as milk production lessens....she wants it less.
Not very scientific but has worked for me.