Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

whats the longest anyone has bf for? anyone still doing it with lo's at school?

475 replies

prettylovebird · 24/01/2008 19:46

ok i know dd is only 7 months,but, i want to bf her forever, and just wondering what it will be like when shes at school or preschool

OP posts:
VVVQV · 27/01/2008 01:11

Bessie, I potty-trained DD when she was ready. She chose to do it at 19 months. She just wanted to. She was still wearing nappies at night until 4.5 years (very common, as it happens).

DS however, is remotely uninterested in sitting on the toilet, potty or anything else. He is 2.9 years old. There is no point in trying to push him into something he's not ready for. You dont hear of normal children wearing nappies when they are 5 or 6 - they make the choice themselves to do it. They decide they are grown up and they just do it.

I think it is easy to underestimate a child's ability to make decisions for itself. The more relaxed about these things we are as parents, the less likely they will be to have hang-ups about such things in future, IMVHO.

There are lots of things a child wants to do to be seen as "grown up", and they are quite capable of making that decision. It harms no-one - least not the parent to allow them to take things at their own pace. I dont feel the need to hurry my children along to the next "milestone" with some of these apparent 'developmental' stages such as potty training, and weaning off the breast. It doesnt infantilise them to do so, quite the opposite since it is actually respecting their individuality, and their ability to make decisions for themselves.

If you dont mind my asking - what is your condition that will prevent you from breastfeeding for long?

Pan · 27/01/2008 01:16

yes to VVVQV - dd was wearing nappies in bed til well into school..again she saw nothing wrong with it ( why should she?), and stopped when she refused it one night. No issues about insecurity/bed-wetting. IME, with adults as well, enforcing rules for the sake of them is counter-productive.

Bessie123 · 27/01/2008 01:18

this is v interesting - I'm learning all sorts today

I read an article a few weeks ago about potty training children from 6 months old - do you think that's a bad idea, then?

hunkermunker · 27/01/2008 01:23

Have you spoken to someone who knows about bf to check that the medication is really unsuitable?

The Breastfeeding Network have a drugline you can ring - they know loads.

Bessie123 · 27/01/2008 01:27

Yes, I have spoken to specialists. I am allergic to a number of things, including hormones my body makes, so although I am able to avoid products that I know bring on allergies, I can't avoid the hormone thing without taking strong (prescription only) anti-histhamines. The doc said that it may be ok to keep taking them while bf but probably not and I'd rather not take the risk. Tbh, I don't particularly like the idea of bf anyway. I will only be doing it because it's good for the baby and I read that 6 weeks is enough to kick start baby's immune system. So I plan on doing it for about 2 months or so and then going back on the medication so I can have a normal life again.

VVVQV · 27/01/2008 01:28

Bessie - there are some schools of thought regarding parenting where they dont even bother with nappies at all.

Can't remember the name given for that particular 'style' of parenting, but basically after a few weeks the parent can guage roughly when the baby will wee/poo and sit them/dangle them over a potty. It apparently takes only a short time for the baby to learn to wee when over the potty.

According to my mum, she got us in the habit of spending a few minutes every day on the potty from the point we could sit up. We werent in nappies much past a year old.

I am happy to allow mine to do it when they are ready. I cant be doing with the faffing of encouraging a child to sit on a potty.

There isnt a wrong way. The only "wrong" way, as far as I am concerned is to tell or prevent them from doing something that makes them happy because we consider it is wrong, or they are too old, etc (Obviously Safety issues excluded - such as preventing DS from making me a cup of tea because he's a bit young to manhandle a kettle!!!).

VVVQV · 27/01/2008 01:31

Is it explicitly contra-indicated in pregnancy/b/feeding? Or is it one of those medicines that has not been entirely tested to see whether it crosses over to your milk?

Bessie123 · 27/01/2008 01:34

Doc said it will cross to my milk but there is no firm evidence that it is bad for the baby because perhaps understandably, there is a real lack of volunteers to participate in tests to find out. However, it is not recommended (I guess because of the lack of evidence either way) and I'm sure it's not good to be introducing drugs into a baby's system anyway - I'd rather not.

hunkermunker · 27/01/2008 01:36

Some people "potty train" from birth - but that's taking cues from their babies in a similar way to letting your child decide when they're ready to do it, imo. DS1 was 3.6 when he decided he'd like to wear pants. He had no accidents - in fact, the day after he did this, we went to Ikea and each time he needed the toilet, he told me and held on till we got there. He's 3.9 now and manages at nursery just fine - I tend to trust my children to know when they're able to manage something like that.

DS2 is still breastfed - he was two this month. He is just about the most independent child I know - he won't let you do anything for him. But he still very much enjoys breastfeeding - and remember, he doesn't know anything of adult hang-ups about breasts - for him, as a 2yo, breasts are about milk, about cuddles - he doesn't know there are people who think that's creepy, who think he's some sort of tool in his mother's bizarre selfish longings.

I think this is probably why there's such a vehement response from women who do breastfeed older children. When people attack their motives for doing so, they're slighting their children - and that brings out the lioness in us!

hunkermunker · 27/01/2008 01:39

It's called elimination communication.

Bessie, if you want to make sure you have all the facts about your medication, do ring the drugline. Or give me the name of your medication and I'll check it out for you, if you like? It would be a shame for you to discover you did like breastfeeding and have the worry of having to research drugs when you've a new baby to be enjoying. Better to be prepared for every eventuality, I think - and one of them is that you love bfing!

Bessie123 · 27/01/2008 01:42

hmmm, well ok, I will call the helpline this week to check.

VVVQV · 27/01/2008 01:43

I see bessie.

I suppose you have to balance these things. I took Antidepressants several months into b/feeding. Whilst it was known that it did cross into my milk, they knew it was a minimal amount, and, on balance, it was still healthier for DS to continue with b/feeding, than to put him on formula.

I did have an extra concern in that DD was/is allergic to cows milk protein (and nuts), and I really didnt want to switch over to formula at all with DS in case he was allergic too. The pros far outweighed the cons. Turns out he wasnt/isnt allergic to anything.

Just might be worth bearing in mind if you suffer from allergies of some sort yourself

Bessie123 · 27/01/2008 01:47

VVVQV - yes, you are right about the allergies. My sister was very allergic to cows milk when she was a baby (mum didn't bf us) and she had to have soya milk. I will have to deal with that problem if it arises, but I have thought so far that it will be more damaging for LO to have a mother who is practically housebound than to be formula fed.

VVVQV · 27/01/2008 01:58

Oh yes, you do have to weigh it up. I was giving DD soya formula from 7 months. We continued to use it in her daily diet in some form up until just a few months ago.

With DS it was a case of - knowing all about the contents of my medication that were passing through my milk, as opposed to giving him formula with ingredients that I wasnt 100% clear on, and which I already knew had various increased risks - including gastro-intestinal infections (and the likelihood of allergies in the family).

There are some medications that are a definite no-no with b/feeding. I think those for some heart/kidney conditions, and thyroid conditions too. It depends very much on the drug and how it acts on the body.

Bessie123 · 27/01/2008 02:03

I have bought some organic formula but couldn't find hypo-allergenic. Unfortunately, I think I will put LO at risk of allergies whatever I do

VVVQV · 27/01/2008 02:06

It's so hard isnt it?

I really do feel for you. It's a tough decision to make. Not really a choice, as such, is it?

VVVQV · 27/01/2008 02:07

It's worth bearing in mind too, that some children who are allergic to formula are also allergic to soya formula. Thankfully DD wasnt, but it's quite common. They do usually grow out of the cows milk allergy though, thankfully.

Bessie123 · 27/01/2008 02:12

Yes, my sis no longer cries or poos everywhere when she has cows' milk

At the moment, I'm just trying not to worry about anything - I don't want a neurotic baby. there are no soya allergies in our family, so fingers crossed...

FrannyandZooey · 27/01/2008 09:39

Morning Bessie, I second the advice to ring one of the really knowledgeable helplines so you can get more accurate information. I have seen it happen so many times on here, that a woman has been told by her (ultra cautious? or perhaps just ignorant?) gp that she must not breastfeed with a certain medication, when the truth is she can, or that there is another equally effective drug she can take, that doesn't interfere with bf.

I was another who waited for my ds to be ready for potty training - he was about 3 when the time came (I can't even remember exactly - the actual age is so unimportant in the grand scheme of things!) and the 'training' consisted of me saying 'ok, why not wear pants from now on' and then showing him how to use the potty and toilet. Training late hasn't affected his ability to toilet himself independently, or his reliability in making it to the toilet. He is very reliable and the whole event was fairly unremarkable.

I don't disapprove of the kind of early 'training' called EC, no - it's an entirely different method to traditional potty training - based on being sensitive to your child's cues - not based on anything that runs counter to what the child is ready or able to do at that stage of their life.

I do understand some people find breastfeeding odd or creepy, yes, - believe me, all of us extended bfer are WELL aware of this! While people have the right to hold that opinion, I do think they should be careful about how and when they express this opinion. Other people might personally have certain opinions about gay people, or mixed race relationships, or disabled people. It would be their right to hold these opinions, but I question whether it is their right to express them, in public, where other people may hear and be offended / upset by them. Telling someone their choices are harmful, wrong, or freakish can be very hurtful, and as other posters here have mentioned, unthinking comments like this can stay with you.

VictorianSqualor · 27/01/2008 11:25

It all comes down to making it normal in society, if everyone was used to seeing children being breastfed then it wouldn't be a problem, when DS was born not one of my friends had breastfed, and were all quite taken aback when we went for lunch and I started to feed DS, they got used to it though, because I kept doing it and it began to be seen as normal, if the same happened with EBF then that too would be seen as normal.

StealthPolarBear · 27/01/2008 11:28

good post F&Z!

talulasmum · 27/01/2008 12:06

b/f is normal. its what womens bodies we're designed for. however, i have no problem with anyone that decides to bottle feed. when my 3rd child was born, i had 3 dc under 4 yrs old. i b/f for 2 months, but i was exausted. i remember getting up to her one night and just collapsing on the floor. 2 hourly feeds and being up all day with 3 d/c was taking its toll. i put dd2 on the bottle at 9 weeks. dh could get up to her at night, which he loved, and i could get a decent nights sleep! with my last dc, i had alot more time, and i b/f him until he was 2. it really does depend on circumstances.(well it did in my case). my view is, if you're happy with your choice of feeding, thats great, don't worry about what anyone else thinks. we're all just doing our best.

macdoodle · 27/01/2008 14:50

wow at this thread
As a relative newbie I think I have just discovered another area of MN where you are not "allowed" to have differing opinions or express them
"Whatever"...................

hunkermunker · 27/01/2008 15:19

Macdoodle, differing opinions are fine.

Rudely stomping onto a thread to spray them indiscriminately at everyone, then going "I don't care and you've all got no sense of humour!" if you're challenged isn't.

Same as, well, pretty much every subject, really!

macdoodle · 27/01/2008 15:34

Well I guess my first post was probably a tad insensitive but as I later explained it was partly TIC/partly to get a rise/and partly genuine...I don't think it was that rude just a "social iconic" type joke...and then of course everyone got all upset and het up and the whole thread deteriorated..
I haven't accused anyone of anything...I just later on tried to explain MY point of view ...
I am certainly not anti BF (am typing this one handed whilst babe happly suckles my boob and I am quite happy too)..but I am allowed to have a different view point and allowed to express it as well without being called all sorts of names...which is fairly rude too you know....
As other areas of MN though I am not going to get sucked in any further because I realise that anything I say will be taken completely the wrong way because I dare to disagree

Swipe left for the next trending thread