whats the longest anyone has bf for? anyone still doing it with lo's at school?

[prettylovebird]

ok i know dd is only 7 months,but, i want to bf her forever, and just wondering what it will be like when shes at school or preschool

Blimey. Wots gone on here then?

I think we've just stopped bf +

DD is 3.1 and has been stopping for the last couple of months, but now not had a feed for ages - can't remember exactly. She just gradually stopped asking. I'm glad I did it this way, it really feels like she's decided.

(Boco, I chased, it's on its way, hopefully!)

Matildax, yes, I saw your original post after I'd asked my last question.

I think you got backs up because of your posting style. If you want to just piss people off, that's fine - every forum has someone who everyone rolls their eyes at when they see their name on threads. But if you want to learn things, which I have no reason to doubt you do, seeing as you have an open mind, you might want to temper your posting style a bit

Oh thanks Hunker!

"now whos being offensive and insulting eh?? "

Are you insulted? That didn't take long. I am honoured!

My DS self-weaned in pretty much the same manner Boco. It was a real gradual withdrawal and completely on his terms.

Occasionally I'd ask him - he'd either say yes or no. There was no pressure. He did, a couple of months ago come up and ask for "booby mummy", and in the absence of knowing what to do, I told him it had all gone. I didnt know if I had milk left or not. I was still leaking milk for some months after I stopped feeding. I can still express a few drips if I try.

Hunker, ditto with DH's family. His mum has always said she couldnt b/feed because she had "leaky valves". I dont think either of his sisters b/fed for long. In my family, my mum b/fed 3 out of 4 of us. (Couldnt b/feed her eldest apparently - no milk). My aunt bottle fed because she was told she'd not be able to b/feed twins.

Having read the whole thread, I wanted to say this:

It's a courageous thing to do, to put one's opinion or experience up for public consumption in the certain knowledge that others will view this as an invitation to be offensive and hurtful.

And, like clockwork, up pop posters whose comments are rude and offensive, dogmatic and entirely lacking in tolerance. Most frustratingly, from their words it appears they may be also devoid of self-awareness and without the ability to logically follow an argument through.

Such is life. Sadly.

I have though, been impressed by the restraint, fairness, eloquence, politeness and courtesy of some posters. You have inspired me, and I am sure, others who lurk and never post. Your careful, kind and honest words speak volumes about you as people and I hope you believe me when I say that your words can change some people's opinions for the better.

I do hope that people recognise themselves and take the compliment I intend from that!

my aunt was still allowing my cousin to have access to the breast when he was 5.
mainly because my other cousin had just been born and it was a way of him getting reassurance he wasn't being pushed out.

he is now an adult with 3 of his own children, he has yet to use teh word bitty and he doesn't yank at his motehrs top whilst in public

Wow, I can't believe how much people have jumped on posters who feel uncomfortable about late bf. Sorry, but it looks as if you are the intolerant ones - if people think bf is creepy, it is their opinion, just as it's your opinion that bf is valuable.

With my complete lack of personal experience of bf (my opinion comes from observation only), I would say that it often seems to me that mothers who continue to bf quite late often do appear to be doing it because they have a problem letting go of their 'babies'. No doubt you will all jump on me now, but I find it strange when a parent is encouraging an older child to behave like a baby.

Having said that, I still sleep with my baby comfort blanket on my bed and I'm nearly 30

That's interesting bessie. Why do you consider it 'babyifying' to b/feed an older child?

Let's go round again

Maybe we turn back the hands of time
Let's go round again
One more time! #

VVVQV - I suppose because I associate bf with something you need to do to care for and nurture a baby; it is vital to provide breast milk (or a breast milk substitute) for the baby to stay alive. Subsequently, it becomes a comfort thing, and I just wonder who gets more comfort from it.

I think also (again, this is based on a complete lack of personal experience) that it is important for a child to learn to self-comfort.

Not read any of the thread, only the OP......dd's mum b/fed til dd was 3 and a half...when she chose to stop...pre-school did limit it a bit, but dd's mum was comfortable with that. No upheaval involved at all. If this helps atall.

Bessie, why not listen to people who DO have personal experience of it and learn from that?

I wouldn't dream of posting on a clearly emotive subject I didn't know anything about - and being rude about those who DID know something about it.

Why is it acceptable to do it about bf?

hunkermunker - I don't think I have been particularly rude, and since this is a discussion board, I kind of thought I was allowed an opinion. Ok, it's not as if I am professing deep knowledge of the subject, but I'm still allowed to say what I think, surely?

Okay, well, I can see where you are coming from. Breastfeeding is usually only seen done with babies. (Half the problem I think).

But, do you think that by allowing the child to be comforted by whichever method makes him/her happy for as long as they want to, and therefor to choose to stop when they want to, it will grow up to be a well-adjusted, confident individual? (Rather than being told "right, as from today, you can no longer have this form of comfort - you are a big boy/girl now" suddenly, and when they might not be ready?)

But in saying what you think, you are being rude. You've said it's the ebfers who are being intolerant, that we're trying to keep our children babies, you've questioned "who gets more comfort from it" - it IS offensive - and the last point, especially, has been answered on this thread. You can't force a toddler to breastfeed - jeez, the thought!

These are the reasons:

a) they have teeth.
b) I don't need a "b", cos the "a" was so great.

VVVQV - I can see the arguments in favour of that, but I also think there are ways of managing things so that the child is not traumatised by the mother's decision to stop breastfeeding - it is just a normal transition. For example, I would find it v strange if a parent chose not to potty train a child and just waited until the child was 'ready', even if that meant the child was still in nappies aged 6. But I may see things differently when LO is born. For medical reasons, I will not be able to bf for longer than a couple of months, so I suppose the debate is not an issue for me; I don't have the choice that other mothers have about how long to continue bf for.

I just think we grow up children too quickly, it is artificial this 'baby' stage leading to us thinking they are more grown up just cos they toddle - everything feeds into this, from grown up clothes to the language we use to toddlers........

Its really sad imo, keeping them as babies is not stunting their development but is much more natural than the way we've grown children for the last 50 years. We are reversing a trend here, not satisfying our own warped desires to 'keep them as babies'

Bessie, I was joking about taking your blanket, btw.

I'm going to be very personal now and ask what your medical reasons are for stopping bf. If you don't want to tell me, that's utterly fine. But very often, I've seen women post that they won't be able to bf for x, y and z medication reason and, actually, they've been misinformed by their healthcare professional. So I figure it's worth having you annoyed with me for a moment if it means that there's a chance you can bf for longer, if that's what you want to do

And, honestly, I was joking about the blanket

hunkermunker - I can see that it could be a bit creepy still to sleep with a (very tatty) comfort blanket on my bed, and I'm not at all offended by you saying that. DP makes me move it v far away from him, and thinks it is v wrong that I still have it.

I think though that if you are offended by what I have posted, you should try to be more tolerant of other people's opinions because it is really not wrong to question things.

Oh, X-posts.

If you were really trying to take my blanket away, you would have to fight me for it . It is really weird for me to have it, I know that, but I don't take it round with me like Linus or anything, I just like to have it on my bed. I have to admit, I would find a woman my age sleeping with a teddy bear quite strange and really, there is no difference.

I have to take medication that damages the baby. I have held off while pregnant and will hold off for a couple of months while bf initially but not taking it really affects my quality of life, so I can't do it for long.

Bessie, I'm not going to be tolerant of the "who gets more comfort of it" opinion, because it's such a loaded one and it surmises and assumes and insinuates all sorts of things about the relationship a mother has with her child.

Not suggesting you were insinuating anything in particular - just that I've heard it used SO many times and it just narks me off now to hear it in any form.

There are things it's OK to be intolerant of and this is one of them.

I'm cucumber cool about it really though, compared to some posters on here