Teaching toddler breastfeeding etiquette

[ohyeahiwaittablestoo]

Not sure if I've used the right phrase there. My 17mo is still breastfeeding. We had been down to morning and bedtime and then 1 or 2 day feeds depending if I'm at work or not. He has managed without me for over 24hrs on a few occasions and is a chunky little man so doesn't need it as a food source as such.

This week he has been teething pretty hard and has been asking for more feeds, a total of 7 yesterday. I don't mind if it makes him feel better but the constantly pulling at my top is starting to get annoying. It's got to the point that anytime he sits on my knee he starts yanking at my top or grabbing my nipple through the fabric. Can/should I be teaching him not to do this? Is it mean to say he can only have the comfort of a feed when I say so? Even his sister was getting annoyed at how often he was feeding yesterday and saying "mummy I think he's had enough". Reminded her that she used to love her dummy when she was feeling sad.

I don't even know what I'm trying to ask here. I don't want to stop, he still likes it, I still like it, except when he's the one calling the shots apparently!

OP

I did extended breastfeeding with my DCs.

You can ask him to use his words or sign, and not to pull your clothes or your nipples. Use your hand to gently remove his from your top.

As an aside to a few who have commented here - breastfeeding a toddler isn't about nutrition. It's about emotional refueling. It's not done instead of feeding solids or instead of other liquids. Some need it more then others, and some need more of it at certain times. You can move a toddler toward other forms of comfort and emotional recharging - connecting through reading together, singing together, dancing. I would steer clear of dummies. That's just kicking the can down the road.

I don’t think you quite understand how it works, but that’s okay. You don’t need to. There’s no exhaustion from either of us.

In future you should refrain from commenting when your knowledge of child development (repeated night wakes are natural and normal until well over 2 years old) and breastfeeding toddlers is so poor.

There’s no way that a toddler that wakes every 2 hours is getting the quality sleep they need for brain development. It basically means they haven’t moved on from the newborn pattern, and I would be concerned about the long term effect of lack of sleep on her brain. I don’t think you’ll find any sleep professional who would say this is normal or healthy - please consider whether it’s really for her benefit, because it doesn’t sound like it is.

Is it normal to be breastfeeding a child of this age ? Probably time to get him to stop I would think.

I fed my boys until they were 2+ By then they were able to at least say please.

Again, comments born out of judgement and ignorance are not welcome.

Natural weaning age is 2-7.

Age 7! That's bonkers.

If you can show me a source which proves waking every 2 hours to feed is healthy for a 2 year old, I will happily retract my opinion.

But I just looked and the average number of overnight wakings for a child the age of yours is 1. So it isn’t the norm at all.

There’s also the issue of her metabolism - if she is constantly full of breastmilk, her stomach won’t regulate itself into a pattern of eating/hunger.

@Wouldloveanother Why would I bother? I have nothing to prove to you. You are entitled to your ignorance and judgement.

Your two second google search is not really of concern to me.

And as I have already stated, she eats 3 meals and 2 snacks a day.

Do you often go out of your way to be so rude and judgemental of those who make different choices to you? Especially considering your embarrassing lack of knowledge.

I imagine that no one is really waking for those night feeds. If you cosleep then they are more like dream feeds for you both!

Yes, we cosleep 😊

@PuddingBear You say I’m lacking knowledge but don’t seem to really have any yourself, just ‘this is what I do so it must be normal’. Like I said if you can prove waking every 2 hours is normal
and healthy for a 2 year old then I will accept it. But I don’t think it is - and I’m not judging you, just concerned that you daughter will suffer effects of long term sleep deprivation due to being in the newborn pattern for years.

Of course it's normal!!!

@Wouldloveanother I’ve spent hours researching child development because it fascinates me. I don’t need to prove anything to randoms on the internet.

Your faux concern is simply that - faux. Both from a lack of information about my life or my daughter and your own ignorance.

Yes , yes ……FAR more ‘normal’ to give children the milk of another animal altogether than human milk 🤦‍♀️

Same ! We co sleep and dd stirs a bit till she finds me but doesn’t wake up , has her feed then lies back down

If you’ve spent hours researching it you should be able to point me to a source which confirms your daughter’s sleep patterns are healthy and beneficial. It shouldn’t be this hard. My concern is genuine, as I would be if she wasn’t getting enough food etc. Sleep isn’t a ‘nice to have’ it’s a fundamental need which isn’t being met. But, your child 🤷🏼‍♀️

Is it normal to comment on a thread showing your complete ignorance of how long it is recommended to breastfeed? In your infinite wisdom when should I have stopped?

@WouldloveanotherThere’s nothing hard, I simply have no need to prove anything to people like you. You seem to be struggling with that concept.

Both our sleep needs are being met, so your faux concern is unnecessary.

We cosleep too. DD2 is only 11 weeks so still needs help latching on but I can get her on before she's really awake, and then we both just snooze. Will be good when she can find the boob herself!

Yeah, we just feed and sleep at the same time too 😊

Yes, it will make it easier for you! You probably won’t even stir most of the time then 😅

pls tell my 2.8 yo that 🤣 had DS2 almost 11 weeks ago and the new supply of milk / need for reassurance with new baby brother around means he's bf a lot again. had got down to once a day before baby was born.

Honestly why come on here with nothing positive to say?

For whoever asked, he's fine when I'm at work. I work 3 days a week. He stayed with his granny one night last week and went almost 24hrs without a feed.

My question wasn't about whether I should still be feeding him, it was about the issue of having him ask politely for a feed rather than just grabbing.

I like the phrase someone used about emotional refuelling, what a lovely way of describing it and very accurate.

Suggest that unless you've been there and have something helpful to add with regards to my original post then please refrain from commenting any further.