"failing to thrive" - please help!

[Caz10]

DD is between 5-6wks just now and put on 1lb in the first 3wks. (5lbs 15 at birth to 6lbs 15 at 3wks).

Now at 5wks + 4 she has dropped to 6lbs 11oz.

HV told me she was failing to thrive, said i HAD to top up with formula and basically scared the life out of me.

I have been working with a bfc to improve my latch as i know it has not been great - it is improving.

dd is alert, lots of wet nappies, 2-3 dirty nappies a day and has gone up a centile in length. they did her 6wk check this week for some reason and all was fine. surely she is not failing to thrive?

boxes of formula in the kitchen, not given yet, lots of tears from me. have to get her weighed again tomorrow and feel like i will be in trouble for not topping up.

i know all the things to try to get supply up, but HV has put such a sense of urgency round this that i feel i have to do something quickly.

i think my most urgent concern is, will i harm dd by NOT topping up for a few days while i think this through?

i am aware there are lots of similar threads to this, so off to have a look. thanks

That's good news Caz. What did you come up with as the way forward?

Well done, and good luck with it

back at you, support MUCH appreciated!!

Roughly speaking - plan is:

• improve latch at all costs to make sure DD gets a good feed each time and isn't coming away hungry/not stimulating milk as best as poss
• top up where nec - phasing out formula, using EBM where poss - maybe top up every other feed if DD seems full (not happened yet - we seem to have created a monster appetite wise!)
• feed from both sides every time, to ensure she gets max food and milk supply stimulated. THEN top up if nec, as opposed to top-up replacing the 2nd breast
• mitolium (sp?) for 10 days

That was cobbled together by us combining all advice given really, as BFC were against formula but I still see a place for it in the short term if it helps DD with the weight and also allows me a.time to express, b.some sanity, c.nipple relief!

So would appreciate thoughts on our new regime! Are we missing anything?

DD so much more content after top ups, poor wee thing, think poor latch was starving her, she's just had 2 full boobs and 2oz EBM from a bottle and is lying in her basket smiling and cooing along to a Winnie the Pooh CD!!

(that is opposed to wailing for half an hour or so after a feed while we wonder what's wrong - I'm guessing she was hungry!)

only concern is that she seems to be bothered by wind/sore tummies a lot more - not sure if it's the formula or the increased amount

I feel so much happier for you - have been in exactly this situation. I think one of the nicest things that I can see coming from this is that you have had a baptism of fire in terms of all the conflicting advice you can get as a parent(!) and you are starting to make up your own mind as to what is best for your baby. It will give you so much more confidence as a mum.

thank you!! still not confident, but feel happier....

meant to say also, spoke to a friend who's relative works in kiddies A&E or whatever you call that, anyway, she regularly sees dehydrated BF babies, apparently it is quite common and the mums think BF is going ok, so I am glad we did not get to that.

great caz - well done - you can be really proud of yourself. each day just gets better from now on in, she'll get more alert and interactive. its so wonderful this baby thing!

i know i love it!!!! but those first few weeks are tough. you should be getting your first smile soon caz if you haven't already
x

for you

Maybe think about going to some massage sessions with DD - works for windy tums and nice thing to do - check at the local Childrens Centre or Sure Start - I actually find it helps mums milk supply too - works on the old hormones you know.
Take care x

thanks for asking mommafeelgood!!

wellllll....

good AND bad i think -

-dd continues to be bright and cheery, and now also 12oz heavier!
-i feel a bit more relaxed

• she is switching easily between breast/bottle/formula/ebm
• working with the bfc has helped improve latch - nipples healing!!

BUT

• I'm still giving her formula
• I'm concerned re my supply - I feed her from both sides, and she still guzzles a 2oz bottle afterwards, cries in hunger after a BF without a top up. Working with the BFC has let me understand when she is feeding "well" - even after a textbook "good" feed she still needs the top up - surely 2 sides of boobs should be enough?
• I am having trouble expressing - time and energy - so top ups mostly have to be formula.

I feel like I am bf-ing AND f-feeding, and I can't keep it up, but can't see how to move past this?

Happy that she is well, but not sure how to move on...

hi caz, just found this thread. wqas thinking about you the other day and glad things are going ok now.

re the top-ups,. babies can come to expect their top-up and that may be why she cries for it.
it's generally accepted that babies will keep drinking from a bottle, often when full, because it's just easy
she may be crying for another reason. have you tried burping her and distracting her and seeing how she goes or is she very fretfulk? have you tried re-offering the first breast?

if i were in your position I think i would be trying to gradually wean out the formula. even if just by 10-20ml per feed

IME LO's will take a top-up if it's offered, even if they don't really need it. I had same problem cos DS was given top-ups in hospital cos of low blood sugar levels. I didn't have your concerns (or rather, your HV's concerns!) re weight gain, so it may not be so easy for you to do this, but I just decided to phase them out. Make up a bottle of formula but start by reducing top up to 1 oz and then to only half an ounce. It is very hard not to continue with a bottle feed if you're LO is taking it, if there is more in the bottle to give, and if you have been made to be as anxious as you have. Big love and hugs to you - have been following your thread but didn't really have anything I felt might be helpful to add until now.

Caz - I think there is a key to your feelings and your experience in the words 'surely 2 sides should be enough?'

No! It is perfectly normal for babies to need 3 and 4 and even more sides when they breastfeed....having expectations of a baby's needs and behaviours can lead to you feeling your baby 'ought' to be doing something and when she isn't, you then feel there is something wrong

She may well need a top up after 2 breasts....you have the top up, however, in the third, and maybe the fourth, and even the fifth breast Just stick her back on and let her stimulate more milk and take more milk in, if she needs it

at Momma!

Not fror long tho' - I'm off to bed!

Caz well done! I've lurked on your thread, and my heart goes out to you. My sister had a similar experience, however did not take on board any advice or help to support her to continue to bf, so I'm so proud of you for keeping it up!! It's so hard when you are tired, and advice conflicts. You seem to have a really good internal radar, keep listening to it

One of my dear friends says to think of formula like dessert - tastes completely different to the main meal, and you've just got to eat it even though you don't need it!

It's easy to get in, and once it becomes part of the feed 'routine' baby just thinks that's the way its done, and expects to have to leave room for pud.

Or so I'm told!! My DD is, and has always been a one breast diner. Unlike her Mummy who eats everything within a 12 mile radius.

Hi Caz, I didn't know you were having such worries regarding FFT. I had similar probs with DS, he lost weight after birth because of jaundice and crap help from Midwives in hospital with bfing. He didn't put on weight or reach his birth weight until 6 weeks. I was only discharged from midwife care last week and DS was nearly 8 weeks then. Bad latch was the problem, and mastitis and stuff like that. In the end I did formula top ups, one bottle for lunch and one perhaps before bed.

I can't give you any advice you've not had before I'm sure. All I can say is that I went against midwife advice in the end, they discouraged me from using formula. I did what I thought was right and used it and hey presto, weight gain and happy baby. It stopped me worrying. I think you have to use your instinct and ignore advice. Everyone seems to think different things.

You may not like the idea, but after a feed if your little one is after formula you don't want to give, have you tried handing her to your partner for a burp or using a dummy. It sometimes calms DS down and I can see if he's really still hungry or not because it distracts him and takes him away from my milky smell.

hi all and thank you for asking mfg!!

wellll....DD is now 8wks and 7lbs 9oz, so pretty weensy, but as before she is alert, smiling () and lots of wet nappies (fewer poos but that is normal bf baby behviour as far as i understand it?) so i am mainly a bit more relaxed about her progress. her weight gain so far averages at 3.5ish per week - not great but at least it's a gain.

Of course i still have periods of panicking that i am starving her...doesn't help that her biggest period of weight gain was when she was getting formula regularly.

bfc at hospital has agreed we can stop giving formula, she had started to either refuse or not finish them anyway which i took to be a good sign.

she has started really really cluster feedings in the evenings, which again i know is normal, good for my supply and also allows me to let her sleep for longer at night which has helped us all.

but i am finding it horrendously hard work to be honest and am dreading the evenings. she will go from 5-6pm until 12-1am before she seems satisfied. last night i cracked when she was still going at half twelve and dh gave her 4oz formula which the wee so and so downed in seconds (that was her 1st formula bottle in 5 or so days). my boobs are always full in the morning after a 5-6hr gap, and after 2-3 hrs during the day, but when she's doing this in the evening they just feel "empty" and her feeds seem shorter and less effective.

i honestly didn't know you could go back for a 3rd/4th etc side tiktok! have obviously been doing this now - v rarely needed during the day which i'm hoping means she's getting a better feed. In the evening i lose count...i just switch sides every half an hr or so or when she takes a break.

tbh i'm thoroughly fed up with bf, 2mths in and it's only ever been painful and/or stressful, dd doesn't seem to be gaining weight with it and i find myself wondering what is wrong with mix feeding anyway.

please can someone remind methat breast is best?!!