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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

why dont younger mums breas feed

590 replies

codswallop · 14/11/2004 14:39

on the whole?
18 year ikd nighbour has just had a baby !) musch to her parents horror.. and isnt even trying to b feeed.
why is this?

OP posts:
Original poster
codswallop · 15/11/2004 09:12

Oh wphew
Its not my fault
really
am feeling ab ut terrified byt his thread
I reall y htink it woul help if we could looka the steorotype of a yougn mother NOt bf ing asnd see if is true or not
we arent bothered by you lot and whethere you did or not!

OP posts:
Angeliz · 15/11/2004 09:13

Sorry coddy that your thread has gone to pot but we are allowed to defend ourselves when some idiots are attacking us.

Angeliz · 15/11/2004 09:14

(Not you i hasten to add )

misdee · 15/11/2004 09:15

a friend of mine, altho a year or 2 older than me, went to a ante natel breastefeeding group to find out about bf, as none of her family breastfed and she was in 2minds about it. she was met with such horrible comments about how bad it was her family didnt bf, and how could she consider bottlefeeding etc that it made her feeel worthless. she then bottlefed her son.

fio2 · 15/11/2004 09:18

what is classed as a yoing mum

and what is classed as an older mum?

I was very crap 21, and didnt want to breastfeed...boo hoo

Lonelymum · 15/11/2004 09:19

I came back on to see how this debate had progressed but there is far too much for me to read right now. I can't believe how abusive the comments became during Sunday evening. Chill out!
Firstly, as I know many people have said already, this was supposed to be a debate about why young mums are less likely to b/f than older mums, not the rights and wrongs of breast and formula. But wow! It is interesting to see how defensive some people are about their chosen course! I wonder why the issue cuts people so deeply?
Secondly, as I understand it, Mumsnet is an open forum for debate and we are all grownup people, so why do some people find it impossible to accept differing points of view? If you really don't like what is being said, either defend yourself maturely, without recourse to playground insults, or move over to another thread. No-one is forced to comment on any one issue.
Please, ladies, could we behave as just that, ladies? This isn't the only thread in the last 24 hours that has turned abusive and I really can't understand how people think they are contributing to adult debate by throwing insults.

fio2 · 15/11/2004 09:27

I always get the impression that "some" older mums somehow seem to think their parenting is better than younger mums. Why is this?

misdee · 15/11/2004 09:28

cos they are more mature than us young un fio2.

btw i get loads of comments on my parenting and how well behaved my kids are, so hehehehe.

Gobbledigook · 15/11/2004 09:28

Cardigan - 'the comparison shows that risk to health is similar'. You ARE taking the piss right?

What an utterly ridiculous comparison - it's nothing of the sort.

I'd like to know how many babies have died as a result of bottle feeding instead of breastfeeding!!!!!

I fail to see how I could have been any healthier or any more intelligent if I'd been breastfed.

Allergies etc are one of those things that appear to run in families and I could list quite a lot of my peers who have breastfed and have horrifically allergic children. Mine on the other hand are not allergic to a single thing, are fully neurologically developed and have never been ill bar the odd winter cold.

You and Zebra are talking nothing but c**p and have no right to come on here and make people like nailpolish feel guilty for making a choice that is of NO DETRIMENT WHATSOEVER to their children.

Sorry, Coddy, I know it's a diversion but I've never heard so much s**t in all my life.

Angeliz · 15/11/2004 09:28

Lonelymum, if people said that,

putting your children in childcare while you work............

Gina Fords methods.......

smacking.........

made you a stupid, ignorant, moronic can't be arsed parent, then SOMEBODY here would feel the need to defend that as they may have done that but still deeply love their children. (I obviously don't think it for a sec, i'm just using examples of how we all do things differently).
I can't understand how we all defend ourselves on other threads as mothers and yet when someone trys to explain why they didin't breastfeed then they have huge issues and problems and guilt. Why??

PicadillyCircus · 15/11/2004 09:31

Looks like this has all got busy since I looked last night.

Will try and see if I have anything to add....probably not!

Gobbledigook · 15/11/2004 09:33

Lonelymum - I take your point, but what Zebra and Cardigan were putting forward was not merely a 'different point of view' but a downright insult to people who don't breastfeed. To compare it to driving your child without a carseat or seatbelt it just bloody ridiculous and I'm not going to let that go.

A different view is one thing, but that is ridiculous and genuinely upset some people who should NOT be made to feel guilty for their decision which is not going to do their children any harm whatsoever.

blossomhill · 15/11/2004 09:34

This has just made me realise how pathetic some people really are. Get a life.........

Angeliz · 15/11/2004 09:35

FWIW, i know i got a bit childish last night and could have expressed my views in a more adult manner, but i jus saw red

I don't take it back, just regret i didn't word it better as i've let idiots get the better of me.

blossomhill · 15/11/2004 09:38

I am agreeing with you 100% Angeliz xxx
I am cross just like you. There are some very ignorant and childish people on mumsnet who quite frankly know nothing about anything by the sounds of it.
We all know that we are good mums and do not have to justify ourselves to anyone.
I just feel upset that this has frightened lots of people who have bottlefed. There has even been a thread started by someone who is very worried

Angeliz · 15/11/2004 09:40

I know blossomhill, i really feel for her.
In a way it's put me off mumsnet but in another way it's only a few people and the majority on here are lovely.

beansmum · 15/11/2004 09:41

quite shocked with how rude I was last night. Must be the lack of adult company and the fact I haven't had a decent argument for ages. Anyway, still think a lot of people don't make enough effort to try to breastfeed but I understand they have their reasons.

beansmum · 15/11/2004 09:42

And I definitely don't think that bottlefeeding makes you a bad mum, or that breastfeeding makes me perfect.

Gobbledigook · 15/11/2004 09:45

BH - eek I've been a bit 'playground' too but people have made my blood boil on here and I too am really angry that someone has become so upset and worried about having bottlefed that they've posted another thread.

Someone has spent a sleepless night worrying, probably quite needlessly, because of the bashing formula got on here yesterday. And it was the comparisons with road safety that really got me, I mean, come on!!

AND it wasn't even the purpose of the thread in the first place!

handlemecarefully · 15/11/2004 09:45

Just read this thread and I am knackered. Those of you bothered by Buka - just ignore her; she has got something missing from her life and / or is looking to get a rise out of you...don't give it to her.

Personally am admiring Mears contribution:

"An increased risk does not mean that it is a definate consequence. No matter how you want to look at it, there are risks associated with formula feeding. There will always be healthy bottle fed babies in the same way that someone who smokes 50 a day is as fit as a fiddle. However, it may well be that the risks to a mothers or baby's emotional/physical health outweigh the risks of formula feeding.

No mother loves their child less because they don't/can't breastfeed. Women have to make their own choices from the information they have and their own life circumstances. As someone said earlier, it is no-one's business but their own."

So good it needed saying twice

blossomhill · 15/11/2004 09:55

Gobbledigook - Of course I didn't mean you at all. I agreed with everything that you have said.
There were 2 people that were being particularly nasty, pathetic and childish. I cannot believe that people can be so judgemental.

blossomhill · 15/11/2004 09:57

HMC - I agree Buka wanted to cause trouble and we all gave her,him whoever it was, what she wanted.

PicadillyCircus · 15/11/2004 10:00

Have got all the way through now....feel a little worn out although that might be more due to DS being awake between 4 and 5:30 this morning .

I am not a "younger mum" - I was 28 when DS was born so don't have any personal experience of Coddy's original question.

One of my neighbours has two little boys - she had the first when she was 19 (I think) and the second when she was 23. First one was breast fed for about a week and then bottle fed. She's said to me that when she was younger she didn't feel she received that much information on breast feeding and when it became hard, she didn't get much support.

Second baby was breastfed until he was about 9 months and she said that she was more determined this time. Was that because she was older? Or because it was her second child? Or is there no way we can know?

I breastfed DS until he was 9 months and he is bottle fed now. If/when we have more children I hope to breastfeed but also hope that if it doesn't work out for whatever reason I won't beat myself up about it.

We are all mums (and a few dads) who love their children so much. Let's remember that

nailpolish · 15/11/2004 10:02

hope i wasnt one blossomhill

i wanted to say hurray to marialuisa for her honesty

gobbledigook, you make sense to me.

lets not get upset and fall out again today, everyone? last night was last night

Gobbledigook · 15/11/2004 10:04

Ha ha ha ha ha, PMSL at Buka!!!!!

Sorry, didn't even see it last night but OMG, what an arse!

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