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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Baby wont stop feeding and crying!

56 replies

PL2021 · 20/11/2021 15:45

I am at my wits end today and really looking for some advice and other people's experiences. Over the last few days baby just will not settle at all! She is on EBM via bottle, is taking 130ml per feeding and still seeming to want more afterwards! She just screams until we give her more. We have tried to pacify her with a dummy and winding her incase it is wind but nothing will settle her apart from more food. However she will then end up bringing mouthfuls of it back up (not huge vomits but mouthfuls of sick with hiccups/burps)

I have wondered whether it is reflux and I have spoken to a midwife, a health visitor and a breastfeeding support line. 2 of which have said she just sounds like she is hungry and probably going through a growth spurt and give her bigger bottles and see if that helps settle her (which it doesn't seem to be). The other 1 said feed her less more often but that's impossible as she'll just scream the house down non stop.
She tends to cough and choke during her bottles sometimes and sometimes afterwards also.

I am wondering now whether my breast milk just isn't satisfying her needs and considering switching to formula?

I cant stop crying because it's upsetting me seeing her so unsettled and upset all of the time, and not knowing why.. whether it is hunger or pain. We have considered trying infacol or colief incase her problem is wind/bottom wind, but the midwife said to avoid them as they can make her constipated and cause more problems.

I am not even getting time to eat! I had to skip dinner last night and didn't get chance to eat until 3pm today when she finally settled for an hour but is now up and crying again. I'm very sleep deprived as I cant even nap in the day when she does because she just doesnt!

Has anyone else had a similar situation and have some advice for me please? Sad

I dont want to make the situation worse by trying formula, but I also am going insane trying to figure out what she needs/wants BlushSad

OP posts:
sarahc336 · 20/11/2021 15:46

How old is she op? Is she quite young and cluster feeding maybe? Xx

Original poster
PL2021 · 20/11/2021 15:53

Sorry I forgot to say she is 3 weeks. We did think cluster feeding could be what she is doing as it was only in the evenings at first, but now it is after every feed she is extremely unsettled and crying and won't rest at all

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 20/11/2021 16:00

Surely at that age it's cluster feeding to stimulate milk production. It was constant with DD.

Exclusive EBM is really tough and if formula helps, you can. However, not because your milk is somehow not good enough. That's just something we tell ourselves!

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/11/2021 16:00

And the sputtering during feed, is it a newborn teat? Not too high flow?

LakeShoreD · 20/11/2021 16:02

Possetting (bringing up a bit of milk with a burp) is pretty normal and nothing to worry about in itself. If there’s even a small chance she’s hungry then I’d give her more milk. When mine started draining their bottles I’d do an extra ounce going forward. If she’s not napping much in the day then she must be chronically overtired and that could explain the excessive crying, babies that small get themselves into real states and the more overtired they are the more they fight sleep.

Original poster
PL2021 · 20/11/2021 16:10

Yes it is a newborn teat and a MAM anti colic bottle. The possetting doesn't concern me too much, however on the odd occasion it is quite a big mouthful of sick that comes out with a little more force (all down my partners back a couple of hours ago).

We try everything to get her to go off to sleep after a feed but she just won't settle off to sleep, continues crying and/or feeding. I have said to my partner numerous times that I think she may be overtired but I dont know how we can avoid that when she just won't rest.

It could be that she is just still hungry after her feeds but 180ml+ every 3-4 hours seems an awful lot for a 3 week old? And as she brings some up sometimes I'm telling myself that maybe it's due to overfeeding?! I feel like such a bad mummy. One minute I'm worried I'm starving her, the next I'm worried I'm overfeeding and causing her tummy ache/wind? Sad

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 20/11/2021 16:17

Wind is overrated as a concept. It's becoming less and less recommended so don't worry about that. And DD used to vomit spectacularly after feeding. And she's a giant 10 yo now.

The fussiness, crying etc. are you putting the baby down to nap immediately or cuddling to sleep?

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/11/2021 16:18

Oh and a clean little finger rather than a dummy?

Original poster
PL2021 · 20/11/2021 16:22

Once we finish a feed we hold her upright on our shoulder for 30 minutes to help with her bringing any back up, but during which time she is usually still crying. We try giving her cuddles and a dummy to see if she will settle but nothing works

OP posts:
FudgeSundae · 20/11/2021 16:24

I had two tiny babies with enormous appetites. I gave them as much as they wanted, but tried to space feeds 3 hours apart. Often this meant they drank more ml than the formula bottle said but I didn’t worry. Remember, if you were EBF without bottles you wouldn’t know how much she was taking!

Original poster
PL2021 · 20/11/2021 16:24

I have quite a few people telling me to try formula as maybe my milk isn't filling her up enough. Could this be true?

OP posts:
Garman · 20/11/2021 16:27

Are you doing paced bottle feeding? Are you feeding her on demand? You mention every 3-4 hours but if it's a growth spurt or cluster feeding she could be feeding almost constantly. My 8 week old who is 2 weeks corrected is like this today, won't be put down, feeding constantly, wakes crying as soon as I put her down or put her down asleep. Total growth spurt behaviour! She's been feeding on and off constantly when awake.

Is there a reason she's fed ebm rather than from the breast? Just in case it might be easier to feed her directly if she wants to feed constantly.

Original poster
PL2021 · 20/11/2021 16:35

Yes we are pacing her bottle feeding and we are feeding her on demand. She was going 3-4 hours beforehand between feeds but the last couple of days we just top her up when she is crying for it. It just seems like so much for her little belly!

I tried breastfeeding by to be honest wasn't happy that way and I think I would be even more unhappy if she was glued to be constantly feeding. At least at the moment my partner can help with the feeding when he is home and give me a break

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 20/11/2021 16:35

@PL2021

I have quite a few people telling me to try formula as maybe my milk isn't filling her up enough. Could this be true?
BM is biologically easier to digest, so it is 'less satisfying' by design. I found there were a lot of formula 'pushers'. Ignore them unless you want to use formula. In which case, do.
LakeShoreD · 20/11/2021 16:36

I’ll admit I’m no expert but it really sounds like overtiredness to me. Wake window should be about an hour at that age so by the time you’ve changed their nappy and fed them it’s time to start settling them to sleep again. How long is your baby typically awake for at a time? If you can pump it then by all means offer an extra ounce if you think she’ll take it but I personally wouldn’t be jumping to the conclusion there is a feeding issue just based on what you’ve posted alone.

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/11/2021 16:36

You can do combination BF and EBF if it's easier. At least then you don't see the ml which made me less anxious!

PurBal · 20/11/2021 16:37

HUGE hugs OP. I agree with PP that it sounds like cluster feeding and growth spurt. I remember after one particularly long night screaming in tears
at DH to “just get the formula” at 5am. We got a few of the individual cartons and, especially in the early weeks, would top up if my nipples were sore or DS was particularly hungry. Your milk will be enough but your breasts have to learn to make the right amount. They should never be truly empty as your body will make more on demand. But it hurts. You’re doing great. Persevere! Leche League is a great source of info. But if you need to top up with a bottle feel empowered to do so. My nipples definitely needed a break.

PurBal · 20/11/2021 16:39

Sorry, hadn’t clocked you were pumping. I still think it’s a growth spurt.

stalkersaga · 20/11/2021 16:40

@PL2021

I have quite a few people telling me to try formula as maybe my milk isn't filling her up enough. Could this be true?
No, it's bullshit. It's possible she's still hungry, but formula has no inherent value over breast milk, rather the reverse. That's just ignorant crap.laegely peddled by formula companies.

I'd make sure you're using a slow flow teat but otherwise I'd give her as much as she seems to want. The other possibilities to me would be a) overtiredness - have you tried a swaddle? My DS got way harder to settle at 3 weeks as he was overtired/overstimulated and needed help, b) overly fast flow that means she's swallowing air and struggling to keep up, c) dairy intolerance. You could try cutting out dairy from your own diet to see if that helps.

Original poster
PL2021 · 20/11/2021 16:48

I think maybe it is a mixture of being hungry and being overtired at the same time because she is constantly feeding or crying for more and therefore not napping.

We have tried swaddling her but she is such a wriggler that she just manages to get out of them! The midwife did mention I could possibly try cutting dairy out of my diet but I will struggle so much with that Blush and I dont want to make myself even more unhappy because as they say, happy mummy equals happy baby Sad

OP posts:
stalkersaga · 20/11/2021 16:58

Well, if unfortunately she does have a dairy sensitivity, formula will make it worse... so you'll have to find out one way or another.

Try a specific swaddle wrap; I'll post the one I used, which was a game changer for my highly strung overtired newborn. A well swaddled baby can't just wriggle out of it, the security of it is what they like about it. I would swaddle mine and then hold him tightly in a dark room with loud white noise playing; he'd cry and fight it for about 60 seconds and then pass out. Many babies need more help to sleep and regulate their wake times than you'd think.

Garman · 20/11/2021 16:59

Have you tried skin to skin, put her inside your dressing gown and sway/cuddle/shush/feed her and see if she falls asleep for a bit and calms down? My dd here was overtired from such an unsettled day today, once I had some bits done and other dc sorted during her tiny naps in her basket I gave in and set out to get her a decent nap on me. She's been asleep about 1.5 hours now and it'll probably do her the world of good and she'll be a lot calmer later on.

stalkersaga · 20/11/2021 17:00

This was my swaddle. Pricey, but it worked like a charm.

Original poster
PL2021 · 20/11/2021 17:00

If it is overtired, is it worth when she eventually does go off to sleep, just leave her until she wakes herself? Because if she gets to 4 hours I then wake her for another feed as instructed by midwives etc... but maybe if she is tired from all of this feeding through the day, I should let her get her sleep in when she does go off no matter what time of the day it is?

OP posts:
Garman · 20/11/2021 17:02

Tbh sitting down feeding a baby is my break, I just get my dh to do other stuff when he's around to help me out and feeding is my one job, rather than him taking the baby to feed her and me catching up on jobs. Lots of sitting, snacking, scrolling 😁