Help. Am I short changing my baby if I move to 100% formula?

[RandomCatGenerator]

Just as above really.

My baby is only 5 days old so this is really early days. He can’t latch without a nipple shield. Once I used shields, he latches really well. However I can feed for HOURS - literally hours - and still he’ll be hungry for more.

Tonight I breast fed for two 90 minute sessions. At the end of the second one, just finished, he still bawled until he got formula.

This was interspersed with a blissfully short 15 minute formula feed after which he went straight to sleep.

I am really tempted to move to formula. But is this short changing him for life when I could breast feed and give him the benefits of breast feeding?

I just don’t feel this can be sustainable.

What is absolutely certain is that you can formula feed and it will be fine.

I know that when I finally got some proper bf advice when ds was 11 weeks old (they showed me a picture of what nipple to nose was) i realised i was getting the latch wrong every time. This despite having a different person advise me every few days throughout the 11 weeks. I'll never know if it could have worked with bf completely if I'd had that advice earlier. But I have pcos which can make bf a bit harder to establish.

I don't want to be the one who says pull the plug at 5 days when they probably are things you could try and it could get better. But those long endless feeds when ds could not get much milk, eventually dropped asleep from exhaustion and woke again 10 mins later starving- I remember that all too well.

Do whatever is right for you, don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Better to have a full sleeping baby & you getting some rest than keep on struggling & ending up an exhausted wreck. Have you thought of mixed feeding, BF during the day & formula at night?

Absolutely not, your baby will be fine on formula feeding. Make whatever decision is best for your family.
However breastfeeding and formula feeding are very different. Breastfeeding is based on supply and demand and in the first few weeks baby needs to be on the boob a lot to increase and maintain your supply. It's not just about getting milk, it's also comfort. Have a read about cluster feeding, it is very normal and they can feed for hours on end but it does get easier and won't last forever. Cluster feeding is more common in the evening and milk supply is slower at that time of day. Just because your baby guzzles down the formula doesn't mean your not making enough milk, it just comes out a lot slower than getting it from the boob. Also keep in mind that babies tend to take a bit longer when feeding with a nipple shield but it is possible to eventually feed without it you just have to keep practicing the latch without it. If you don't want to continue to breastfeed, you could try pumping occasionally so they still get some breastmilk. Do whatever feels right for you and you're baby.

Establishing breastfeeding with my firstborn was honestly the hardest thing I've ever done. Once I got proper support from a lactation consultant a few days after the birth though we really began to get the hang of it. I really recommend you try to dig deep to find the extra strength you need to persevere. There's no question that breastmilk is superior to formula.

bf is hard work and what you describe isn't unusual. I absolutely hated it and lasted 3 months (after 6 weeks switched to combi feeding as supply wasn't great) and lasted about 8 weeks with second child but combi fed after 2 weeks. ff worked nest for my family and me, I'm glad I did bf also though, but was so relieved to give it!

FF and your child will be fine, continue with bf and your child will also be fine. Think about yourself though abs what makes you fine
Good luck and congratulations!

What you describe would not be sustainable. But it won't be like that forever, maybe only a few days. He is only 5 days old. This is the hardest part of breastfeeding- he wants to feed lots to establish your milk supply. Its called cluster feeding if you want to look it up. It doesn't mean that you aren't producing enough milk or that your milk isn't filling him up.

Lots of babies need nipple shields to start with but then you can wean them off the shields when they're a bit bigger and can latch easier.

If you want to move to formula that is your choice, but it doesnt sound like you really want to as you know breast milk confers benefits which formula doesn't. What you have desribed doesn't indicate a problem with breastfeeding to me - he is just still tiny and it will get much easier soon.

Agree hungryhippo

Of course you won’t be short changing your baby. Formula gives babies an excellent start in life. Mine were ff from day one and turned out 100% healthy. Happy baby and happy parents.

Congratulations on your new baby. Breastfeeding is intense especially in the first few weeks. Both you and baby are learning how to feed and as already been said you baby is increasing demand on your body to up your supply. Cluster feeding is very intense but normal newborn behavior. My baby is 13 weeks and I remember this too well. She doesn't feed as much unless she's having a growth spurt. Make sure you use nipple cream like lansinoh. It does hurt the first few days and at day 5 I will be asking a lactation consultant to check for tongue tie and make sure the latch is good. And if all is good and you want to continue breastfeeding set up camp somewhere comfortable with snacks and tv remote and feed, feed, feed.

If you don't want to continue breastfeeding there's nothing wrong with that as well. The priority is making sure baby is fed.

I wasn't able to breast feed due having had a breast reduction years before. Although I tried, there just wasn't enough milk coming through so we formula fed. My DS has always been incredibly healthy and fit. Don't let anyone guilt trip you into breast feeding if it's not for you.

can you find your local breastfeeding support group (not the mw or HV!)
Get baby assessed for tongue tie.

The initial days of bf are incredibly hard.
Especially when you have no sleep and are recovering from birth.
Bf in the longer term is nearly always the better/healthier/cheaper option for families.

Well done for pushing through these first few days.

Don't forget you can call the volunteers at the national breastfeeding helpline on 0300 100 0212

Someone said to me to never give up bf on a bad day. In the early days it can all feel a bit rough though!

As babies get older I think bf becomes easier than bottle feeding. One of my friends said she didn't go out much just because of the faff with making feeds and then having to throw them away if her DS didn't want them.

Early on they are like little demons cluster feeding, they have to to stimulate supply whereas with formula they don't have to work as hard to get large volumes of milk.

There is absolutely no issue with giving up, id just say make sure you've been thought about it for 24 hours before you do it in case you change your mind.

I found positioning and feeding a bit easier as DSs head got bigger at a few weeks old.

Its difficult as a new parent even if you didn’t just spend 3 hours feeding him so I understand the head space.

It will always come out of a bottle easier than your breast though so the fact he chugged down some milk from a bottle then fell asleep doesn’t mean you didn’t give him enough (surprisingly). Imagine sucking on a tiny Capri sun straw, it’s quite difficult especially as you get to the end and try and find every last bit of fluid. Then switch to just your mouth on a glass of water yo can chug away to your hearts content. It also doesn’t stop if you close your mouth, right, same at the bottle.

Either milk will be fine nutritionally.
Cluster feeding is notoriously shit.
Do what ever you want to do.

Establishing bf is hard. You can't ask others to advise whether bf or formula feed. The science on bf/formula is well known.

I think your own choice of the word 'short-changed' is unhelpful. Ultimately you need to be happy with your choice, neither is 'short-changing'.

I myself found the longer term convenience of bf offset the difficulties of getting started.

Mixed feeding is not likely to work though if you're doing it at 5 days, as the formula will stop the baby building up your milk supply. So I think you would be better committing fully to bf for a few weeks if you would like it to work. If you don't want to do that, why drag it out?

What hungryhippo said.

The first 2 weeks of breastfeeding are often HARD! Especially with your first. But it almost always quickly gets much easier, once you and baby get the hang of everything, they get a bit bigger and stronger, etc etc.

My sister used nipple shields for months, and eventually weaned her dd off them and continued to breastfeed her till she was 2. It's possible, very worthwhile, and I've every confidence that you can do this if you want to.

I would seek advice about the latch.

I had a similar situation and my baby could latch with nipple shields but struggled to get much milk. Then when he had a bottle it was easier of course … two and a half months later and we were exclusively formula feeding.

It is up to you. No one is agenda free on here: some people are very passionate about breastfeeding and some aren’t and have an agenda about those who are

What is certain is that a decision to formula feed is difficult to reverse so I would have to be absolutely clear that that is what you want

As others have said first few weeks of bf are extremely hard and tiring. Feeding all the time around the clock, nipples are agony and you are just so so exhausted.

You would NOT be shortchanging your baby to move to formula if that's what you want though! Do what's best for you all. But if you do want to bf just remember it gets easier!

Of course its OK to move to formula - you may find it helpful to massage your breasts throughout the day as this triggers more milk production and you can also take herbs to increase milk if you want to. If you google breast feeding there are lots of tips.

Having forced myself to keep going with breastfeeding when it was leading to an unhappy, hungry baby and distraught, exhausted and then severely mentally ill me - I'd move to formula in a heartbeat if I were you.

Of course you won't be short changed if you move to formula. Formula has come so far in this day and age and your baby will thrive either way.

Baby being fed is the priority here and your well-being and happiness. Don't let anybody guilt trip you.

Im a full supporter of breastfeeding and have a total new respect for women since having DD.

I wish I could have breastfeed but due to medical reasons I couldn't. At all.

My baby is fine, thriving, and you would never know she wasn't breastfed. I don't feel an ounce of guilt and she definitely wasn't short changed. She is just as loved as any other breastfed baby.

You need to do what's best for you. But don't ever feel guilty!

Hello @RandomCatGenerator from the other thread.

I'm doing almost this for exactly the same reasons as you - he'll only latch with a shield but it takes forever and he never gets a full feed from that alone. I am pumping a few times a day so he still gets some breast milk but he's having more formula than breast. Formula definitely satisfies him more than breast as well so we don't give him breast at night

It works for us - we're happy, he's happy. He's not chained to me the whole time but he gets some breast at least. If pumping didn't work then he would be entirely FF

Just to let you know I bottle fed DD1 and it wasn't easy at all in the first month or so

Before going to sleep we had to get like 6 bottles ready!! It was a LOT of washing and sterilisation. If you leave the milk for an hour (while you're busy taking care of your baby) the milk curdles and it's even more difficult to wash.

Terribly long BF sessions are tiring.... but personally I would try to check with a lactation consultant first

Good luck

OP - if you do decide to swop to formula get a Perfect Prep machine. Bottles ready in less than two minutes. It’s a life saver and obviously friends and family can give the bottles.

I give Perfect Preps as presents to friends with new babies- has made me very popular!

@RandomCatGenerator my baby is 6 weeks old now but I remember the early days well and worrying if I was doing the right thing with breastfeeding as I found it really demanding and unsure if baby was getting enough. Around day 3 a midwife suggested a just top up with a small amount of formula just until my milk had properly come in to help settle her and give her more energy to properly feed. She told me to cup feed it to her. We gave her no more than 15-20ml at a time so tiny amounts and it just helped satisfy her. We only had to do this for a few days (and probably only twice a day) and then she became more content after feeding and I've gone on to exclusively breastfeed her. I know you need to be careful re your supply but the midwife told me just to try and express a bit of milk after we'd given some formula.

So from my experience I wouldn't totally give up on breastfeeding if that's what you want to do but also don't fret too much about giving small formula top ups if it helps in the short term. I know the advice out there is quite conflicting on this but for us it worked and we had a much more content baby for it and we've had no long-term problems with breastfeeding from doing this.

Those first two weeks are really tough - I remember time going so slow and thinking I'd never get out of the tough weeks (and feeling guilty for wishing the time away) and seriously thinking about switching to formula but by week 3 things became so much easier and it's just continued to get easier since then.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

@Parker231

OP - if you do decide to swop to formula get a Perfect Prep machine. Bottles ready in less than two minutes. It’s a life saver and obviously friends and family can give the bottles. I give Perfect Preps as presents to friends with new babies- has made me very popular!

You’ve said this before and this is exactly what I mean about agendas. There’s a screaming one right there.