Help. Am I short changing my baby if I move to 100% formula?

[RandomCatGenerator]

Just as above really.

My baby is only 5 days old so this is really early days. He can’t latch without a nipple shield. Once I used shields, he latches really well. However I can feed for HOURS - literally hours - and still he’ll be hungry for more.

Tonight I breast fed for two 90 minute sessions. At the end of the second one, just finished, he still bawled until he got formula.

This was interspersed with a blissfully short 15 minute formula feed after which he went straight to sleep.

I am really tempted to move to formula. But is this short changing him for life when I could breast feed and give him the benefits of breast feeding?

I just don’t feel this can be sustainable.

If you want to continue breastfeeding then absolutely get some support and carry on with it.

But also know that formula feeding is not short changing your baby, for me it made both me and my dc happier.

Nobody gets a say in what you do with your nipples apart from you, so if you want to switch to formula then do so, without a shred of guilt.

If you would like to continue breastfeeding, then what you've described is very normal and you can absolutely get past it. I'm still breastfeeding my one year old and it's the easiest thing in the world. It very much wasn't at 5 days!

Don't waste emotional energy on this, just do whatever suits you and your family and all will work out just fine in the end.

Your baby will thrive on formula and you will both be much happier. My biggest regret was that I worried so much about this

@Planetsandstars - I’ve no agenda - just a very useful recommendation which has made life easier for many families. Only the OP can decide what is best for her and her baby, not posters on Mn.

Fed is best. End of. I say this as someone who exclusively bf because I was lucky enough to have a pretty easy journey.

If you want to continue bf then get consultation with an expert. If you want to move to formula then do it. Baby will be fine. If you look around you you can’t tell who was breastfed and who was on formula as adults can you? My husband and I were both formula fed and we’re both successful, healthy, educated individuals. I doubt that breastmilk would have miraculously turned either of us into Albert Einstein.

@Parker231

OP - if you do decide to swop to formula get a Perfect Prep machine. Bottles ready in less than two minutes. It’s a life saver and obviously friends and family can give the bottles. I give Perfect Preps as presents to friends with new babies- has made me very popular!

What a strange gift. If someone was planning to breastfeed then the machine wouldn't get used and if they're planning to formula feed then they would have bought their own.

I was thinking that too @HungryHippo11

I obviously don’t give a Perfect Prep to someone who says they are bf. Many like me, decide to use formula from day one.

You don't need anyone else's permission to stop breastfeeding.
It's possible to do combo feeding and give a bottle here and there while still breastfeeding as well.
It's worth knowing that cluster feeding like that doesn't last forever, it's the baby's way of stimulating your milk supply. If he's putting on weight ok then he's getting enough. You also might be able to drop the shields before too long. Breastfeeding is less faff than bottle feeding once it's established as you only need to get your tit out! Breastmilk has nutritional benefits over formula but these need to be balanced against your stress levels.

I think most women have issues in the first few weeks. I had a few different problems including extreme pain, and I had to use shields for two weeks or so, then I paid to have help from a breastfeeding consultant, and it was the best money I have ever spent.
If you want to continue breastfeeding then this is worth doing.
Once you get into your stride it is so easy, you never need to think about what to take out with you, making sure things are sterile, what happens if you get stuck in a traffic jam half way home on a long journey etc. You always have your baby’s food with you.
Breastmilk is best for babies, everyone knows that, but of course sometimes it isn’t possible to breastfeed. I would give it a few weeks though OP, get help if you need it and just think of one feed at a time.

@Parker231 - but this is what I mean about an agenda.

If you ask someone how they are planning to feed their baby and then add ‘and if you are planning on formula feeding I have this in mind as a gift’ it does serve as an agenda as it is pressurising parents to formula feed.

Incidentally the perfect prep machines are not recommended by the NHS, and I do actually have one and use it but that’s for an eight month old, I’m not sure I’d be so happy for a newborn.

If someone makes the decision to breastfeed, then I think supporting them in that decision is paramount.

To reverse things, let’s say you have decided to formula feed - you know the advantages of breastfeeding but have decided on balance bottles work best for you. That’s fine.

Then someone posts and says they are struggling to do it because of - if someone suggested they try the breast it wouldn’t go down well.

But when someone is struggling with breastfeeding there are always numerous replies telling them formula is fine. We know it’s fine, but it should be a decision someone actively makes, not makes because they have no other choice.

It’s up to you! You don’t have to breastfeed if it isn’t working for you. Your baby will be fine on formula.

What I would say is it’s normal for babies to feed A LOT in the early days. They’re building up your supply, so it’s a very normal part of the process. It can be very tiring and draining for you, but it’s not an indication that your baby isn’t getting enough or is going hungry. If they’re gaining weight and having plenty of wet nappies, they’re getting enough milk.

If you can see it out for a few more weeks it gets much easier and you get all of the benefits of breastfeeding with much less hassle and work. But if that’s too long for you to hold out, don’t beat yourself up. Formula is a perfectly safe alternative which will give your baby the required nutrition.

I tried for 6 weeks with a baby that never seemed to stop eating. Drove me insane. Increase the formula

@Planetsandstars - no agenda with me. I don’t bring up feeding of new baby with friends. If they tell me they have decided to use formula, then I can ask whether they would like a present of a Prefect Prep. If thy are planning on trying bf, I’d obviously not mention it. As it happens many friends have been very pleased with their present.

Where have I said the OP should stop trying to bf? My view is both give an excellent start in life and it’s up to the individual family. For our family formula was the best option

@Parker231 I’m not trying to start an argument here but what you have said above is pretty different to ‘I give Perfect Preps as presents to friends with new babies’ which suggests that you give it as a standard gift, not if the friend in question has happened to mention how they will feed their baby and that it is formula.

I’m leaving this thread now as you have your agenda. I’ll continue to support friends with the present of a Prefect Prep (and Cook voucher) when they are using formula. Happy friends and healthy babies - all anyone wants.

Hi everyone

Thank you so much for all the input on this thread. I am really grateful to you for taking time to respond. I showed this to my sleep deprived husband and he too found it very helpful - worth sacrificing the secret of my mumsnet username!

On the Tommy Tippee machine - great recommendation. Appreciate you looking out for others, @Planetsandstars, but I definitely don’t feel pressured by that recommendation by @Parker231. The TT machine is proving to be an absolute godsend for late night feeds when I’ve tried to feed and feed and the baby is still hungry and crying.

There’s a lot to think about here. It’s useful - though a bit depressing - to hear that this is a pretty normal experience.

@hedgehogger1 how much were you feeding in formula at 5/6 days old?

Oh, I should add - we had our paediatrician appointment today and the baby has actually put on weight. So he’s by no means starving. But bloody hell it’s such a lot of time and energy to get there. I’d rather spend time visually stimulating him and enjoying him, not just feeding all the time.

It is absolutely fine to give up if that’s what you want to do but there are options if you don’t and a lactation consultant can talk you through these.

Early days cluster feeding is normal but it is very different to ineffective, nibbly feeding for hours leading to a dissatisfied baby and worn out mother. A lactation consultant could help you work out the difference. It sounds like you might be in the second group with a baby who is having to work very hard to get enough milk and therefore feeding and feeding and feeding and then often still being hungry at the end.

If you want to carry on breastfeeding then try to see someone who can support you with getting him to feed more effectively.

Usually an initial plan will maximise how much milk he gets by using breast compressions and maybe switching breasts when he becomes ineffective (switch feeding) and then topping up when he is nibbling and less effective at getting milk. Often the ideal is shorter, more effective breastfeeds followed by a top up (or even better a tube on the breast to top up) and using the time saved to express which does more for supply than nibbling and sleep!

It may be there’s something like a tongue tie making it more difficult for him. I always followed the La Leche rules; feed the baby, move the milk. If a baby is well fed, however that needs to be done and you keep up your milk supply whether by feeding or expressing then breastfeeding will come if you want it to. It may take days or weeks, occasionally months but it will come.

My third was a total nibbler, fed all the time and lost weight but we used formula/EBM on the breast through a tube and she did better. We dropped the tube at 8 months and she’s still breastfeeding at 2.5yo. Most people don’t even need the supplements that long.

I didn’t actually mean you, @RandomCatGenerator but as a general point if someone makes a habit of gifting friends perfect prep machines, it might suggest that they favour formula feeds. I’m guessing since you already have one this may be your preference too. It is fine but I think it is wise to be aware that it can be very difficult to turn around this decision and many babies will not breastfeed once they have had a bottle.

Cross posted- glad he’s doing well with weight gain :)

Thanks @Hoowhoowho

I’m not in the UK so not on the NHS but following advice on this thread I will seek a consultation with a specialist. The one in the hospital was just so rubbish.

@RandomCatGenerator hello from the other group!
I came on here today with a very similar dilemma but on day 4. Yesterday DS cluster fed all afternoon and after having about an hour off in the evening he started again from 7.40pm until 5am. There were occasional 10-15 min breaks during the night so thankfully I could go to the loo/ full up my water bottle but it was relentless. DS won’t tolerate the nipple guard the hospital tried with us and my nipples are SO sore. We weren’t getting as many wet or dirty nappies so in desperation gave him some formula this morning. The same as you, he guzzled down and went to sleep, plus a short while later we started to get the wet nappies again.
I did a lot of reading about cluster feeding and milk stimulation/supply and demand last night so am aware things should get better soon(ish). Anyway the upshot is we’re going to try combination feeding (offering the breast every time he asks for food until he’s satisfied/drops off, then if he immediately starts fussing again to give a small amount of formula to top up). This plan sits ok with my hormonal and sleep deprived mind, and if it ends up with exclusively FF then so be it. A happy baby and a happy mum without sobbing in pain/exhaustion surely is the most important thing. I’d love for BF to work out but I can’t repeat yesterday/last night.
Hope you’re ok xx

@RandomCatGenerator

Oh, I should add - we had our paediatrician appointment today and the baby has actually put on weight. So he’s by no means starving. But bloody hell it’s such a lot of time and energy to get there. I’d rather spend time visually stimulating him and enjoying him, not just feeding all the time.

Aahh that's great and such positive news. You will get less cluster and crazy demand feeding, it's not always like this, but just enjoy your family, baby, husband etc and do what's right