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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

bf in the news again, for increasing intelligence

186 replies

robinredbreast · 06/11/2007 08:28

so far its been on bbc1
radio 1
yahoo homepage

three cheers for breast feeding

also i thought alison baum who was interview on bbc1 put the message across so well, so tactfully done

well done alison,ive already signed your bf manifesto

OP posts:
MumOfTwoMinxers · 06/11/2007 11:07

New to MN. Sorry if my opinions offend you, it's fair enough to question my opinions, but I have no time for rudeness. bye

rahrahrahrahrah · 06/11/2007 11:15

Why is breastfeeding support so shit?

The government have got it so wrong. Why do they concentrate on the message that 'breast is best', why don't they actually train midwives on breastfeeding?

I am still really angry at the lack of support I received when I had ds. Sometimes I just want to shout it from the rooftops.

There are women who choose not to breastfeed and therefore still haven't got the message that breast is best but until they have improved rates amongst those who do want to breastfeed I don't belive they should waste money on promoting it to those who don't.

dal21 · 06/11/2007 11:21

oh dear. that is on the direction the thread is taking.

was mentioned on the wright stuff this morning too.

i totally agree with support being needed. i establshed breastfeeding as i was in hospital for 5 days and midwives were there at every feed encouraging me and giving me confidence. i take my hats off to those discharged within hours who still manage to muddle through.

i have found bfeeding incredibly draining physically and emotionally - but it is articles like this that make want to continue.

hope not being insensitive to those who couldnt, or chose not to - just saying that news like this gives me much needed encouragement.

hunkermunker · 06/11/2007 11:22

You were rude though, MOTM.

haychee · 06/11/2007 11:23

I dont see what was wrong with Mumoftwominxers post.

She stated the facts as she has found them in her own personal experience. She has the right to post what she thinks.

Her opinion that formula is a small step from ready meals is a bit much, but i didnt feel offended by it. I think some really over-react sometimes to posts like these.

I breast fed for 3months with of my dds. Weaned over to formula after that as im sure my supply was becomming insufficient for theor needs. Sure enough they where far more content on formula.

My dds do have ready meals but not 7days a week, far from it. But when life is hectic, sometimes i have no choice.

auntyspan · 06/11/2007 11:24

"I think it's only a small step between formula and feeding children ready meals and those ghastly cheese strings."

Just one sentence, that's all it takes, to make me feel thoroughly sh*t for not succeeding with bf for more than a couple of months.

It WILL be different next time, it WILL.

dal21 · 06/11/2007 11:25

rahrahrah - i give you the example of lack of support when i took my ds to nhs baby clinic for 6 week check. waiting room was filled to capacity with crying babies and parents and was baking hot. ds was due a feed and i asked if there was a area i could bfeed.

short sharp answer - no. when i asked what i should do - woman couldnt care less. i wass appalled.

rahrahrahrahrah · 06/11/2007 11:25

dal21, I had the opposite situation to you I felt that I would have had more chance of succeeding if I could have gone home earlier.

hunkermunker · 06/11/2007 11:27

"There are women who choose not to breastfeed and therefore still haven't got the message that breast is best "

There will also be women who choose not to breastfeed and understand totally the issues involved, rahrah.

dal21 · 06/11/2007 11:29

rahrah - that is such a shame. i only got that support as was non nhs. every subequent contact that i have had with nhs/ bfeeding has not been positive. the bfeedng organisations need to show them how things are done. we need more people like tiktok.

not to bully people into it, but to give support to those who really want to do it.

DynamiteDaisy · 06/11/2007 11:39

I fed my 12 weeks old DD cheese strings.....when I had a nasty blocked duct that had taken ages to clear

I'm a bit sad this thread has gone the way of most other's on her about the positive aspects of BFing. How will we ever hope to increase BFing rates in this country if it can never be praised for fear of offending people who couldn't or chose not to?

I switched to FF my DS after five weeks because of lack of BF support. I was disappointed, but have never felt that BFing should be hidden behind closed doors/never mentioned in front of me again for fear of offending my sensibilities, in fact I was glad to see the increased support and awareness going on around about me. This increase has meant that this time round I'm still going strong at 22 weeks because of the wealth of support on here and locally in my community.

verylittlecarrot · 06/11/2007 11:41

LOL Daisy!

VictorianSqualor · 06/11/2007 11:56

"My mum spoke to an MP the other day about it - he said one has to be careful because of those who can't breastfeed."

I can see that people who can't breastfeed may feel worse about it if breast feeding support and encouragemnet was more widespread but when DD was born at 32 weeks, I tried to express, and as soon as I could I tried to put her on the breast. I wasn;t given much support, just told express and bring it in to SCBU.

The fact that I couldn't breastfeed her was not my decision, it was taken out of my hands, therefore although it is something I wish I could have done, it is not something I regret, it did however make me more determined to get as much help as possible with bf DS.

As well as the knowledge that I had been given on why I should breastfeed gave me the ability to spend days and nights sitting up feeding DS for hours on end without a break, crying with tiredness, and repeating to myself that I was doing the best for him, it was just a growth spurt and he would chill out soon enough!

I understand we have to be careful not to alienate mothers who find it tough/not possible, but how are they meant to realise what is normal and expected for bf when no-one bloody tells them??

This attitude of not pushing (and I don't mean bullying, I mean pushing) BF because it may upset those who choose to FF really riles me.

It is best for baby, everyone knows this, but without more knowledge and help nothing is going to change.

As long as we aren't saying that people who choose to FF are bad parents, but making an informed choice to choose adequate feeding for their children rather than breast feeeding which is shown to be better, then I think everything could be just fine!

KerryMumKABOOM · 06/11/2007 11:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VictorianSqualor · 06/11/2007 11:58

btw that post wasnt aimed at you hunker, but at the MP!

MamaMammalon · 06/11/2007 12:19

I can't say I liken formula to cheese strings but I really was not offended by this. It's one woman's opinion and I suspect it was more directed at those who don't try to bf rather than those who try and are unable to. No-one. No-one would ever direct such a statement at someone who couldn't bf because we are all human. Obviously there are people who cannot breastfeed and non-breast-fed babies DO grow up to be healthy adults with high IQs.

However, mothers that don't try bf because (and these are a number of reasons I personally have heard from Mothers in the last six months) 'It's just not me' 'It's gross', 'I don't know why I didn't, just didn't fancy it' or 'never even thought about it' do really really really frustrate me.

And- at what point do we have to take responsibility for ourselves and cease to blame NHS, nurses, doctors, the system for not giving us information and assistance. Why not search for this information ourselves- actively seek help. I live abroad, with no family (besides dh), no such thing as a health visitor, no mum's groups, no ante natal classes, no community. When my daughter couldn't latch on and I was in agony for the first 8 weeks, (and I was essentially alone) I got on the internet, read books and sorted it out myself. Please note- I may not have been able to, it was touch and go, but the point is I TRIED!! (And it must be noted, I very almost did give up as the pain was horrendous but the internet showed all sorts of bf positions all of which I tried). Please also note that I am not an earth mother, I couldn't give birth naturally, I had a C-section and I would have one again.

I heard an interesting story from a friend who had heard on the news that a baby in a hospital had become critically dehydrated when the mother hadn't been able to feed it whilst in hospital and no-one had helped her. The newborn received no milk for 30 hours. I mean, come on, in third world countries where there IS no NHS, no education, no facilities at all, they get on with it and find a way to feed the baby. The UK is a cushy society which has left us unable to use our perfectly wonderful amazing brains. If your baby hasn't fed for 30 hours, try and do something!! Don't say- well no-one helped me. You're the Mother!! (I must add, I haven't researched this news story and I am basing my opinion simply on the facts which were given to me by the aforementioned friend).

PS. I hope this hasn't offended anyone and I welcome all those opinions which differ from my own. These discussion groups would be pretty pointless without a difference of opinion.

I say- bf rules and ff is a wonderful very close second when bf isn't possible. In days gone by it would have been cows milk.

VictorianSqualor · 06/11/2007 12:36

Mamamammlon, I have to say, I'm shocked the baby was poorly after 30 hours, when DS didnt latch on my mw told me not to worry too much for the first day or two as they had everything they needed, but I suppose there is going to be a point when it does matter.

I also have to say, my opinions on c-sections are likened to my opinions on BF, it is needed then fine, but if not, try the way it was meant to be first!

kerala · 06/11/2007 12:39

MM good post.

The hospital I was at were hopeless at promoting bf. I remember sitting on my bed crying with a bf leaflet trying to work out how to do it. A midwife shouted at me to "feed my baby" because she keeping others awake, but offered no advice on how to do so. I was stuck in hospital when staying at my house half a mile away was my mother who had happily bf all 3 of us and was itching to help. But she was not allowed in to support me because of visiting hours and of course dd slept all day and was up all night. At the hospital's insistence I ended up formula feeding dd at 2 days old. Then thankfully it all clicked and bf her for 11 months.

MamaMammalon · 06/11/2007 12:42

I agree- I was in labour for 17 hours- didn't dilate- we held the Doc off for 6 hours (dh actually had to go outside with him for 'words'), but I only dilated 2cm and then it shrank back to 1.5, and I did relent in the end. I was devastated at the time, but now I can see how lucky we are to have things like formula and c-sections.

GunpowderDragonsAndSoup · 06/11/2007 12:46

It really p*sses me off that we're not allowed to post anything positive about bf-ing without being shouted down and referred to as "militant breastfeeders"

It is the thing I hate most about Mumsnet.

VictorianSqualor · 06/11/2007 12:55

Soupy, come on we'll listen, shout all you like.
I'll even start if you want.

Breastfeeding is the best thing for our babies and unless we can't do it, we SHOULD!

GunpowderDragonsAndSoup · 06/11/2007 12:56

Oh, I have nothing to shout but every single time someone dares to post something positive about bf-ing it gets leapt upon and ripped to shreds.

hunkermunker · 06/11/2007 12:58

VS, I am not sure that's helpful either, really.

I don't feel there's much "should" about bf.

I want women to WANT to do it, not feel they ought. Because that way guilt and grudging lies and I don't think that's a good start to being a mum.

VictorianSqualor · 06/11/2007 12:59

I know
Apparently by saying BF is better than FF we are being horrible to people who choose to FF their babies
Well, I'm sorry but IMO if someone decides to FF for reasons like Jordan 'my puppies are for me not a baby' then I'm not interested if they feel hurt about me saying they should have at least tried.
Whereas those who have tried and not been able to, I have nothing but sympathy for.

tiktok · 06/11/2007 13:01

Look, these are the rules, and all they are are good manners:

  • when posting something positive about bf and the bf experience, try to resist any note of criticism towards mothers who didn't bf. It is none of your biz whether they had a 'good' reason, whether they 'tried' or 'tried enough'...that's judging and when you judge, you can judge unfairly.
  • when posting do not sound smug or sneery towards other mothers. It may be your 'opinion' that formula is equivalent to liquidised jammy dodgers laced with sherbet dip, but keep it to yourself, why doncha?
  • be aware that people posting here may be upset, angry, guilty, sad, confused about their feeding experience, and just be kind.
  • if you did use formula and are sensitive about it, don't ask that all research, news, studies and discussion about the health effects of infant feeding stops, just in case it touches a raw nerve. That's equally daft.

Really, these rules are pretty easy