Please help! Baby not latching, milk coming in, in pain

[peachypetite]

As above really. Baby just has no interest in even attempting to latch. This is despite help from la leche league and loads of one to one help from midwives in hospital. Managed to give colostrum in syringe but tried hand expressing earlier and no milk would come out however it was leaking from me on both sides. I have big boobs at the best of times let alone now, I’ve only slept an hour all night because it’s too sore to even lay down.

It’s a horrible feeling isn’t it - I’ve been there. I’m in Australia so don’t really know the system in UK, but here the normal midwives weren’t very useful - they just kept saying looks like the latch is fine, but it clearly wasn’t - he was hungry all the time and U was in agony. I would have given up but he wouldn’t suck on a bottle either. Eventually I saw a lactation consultant - who was a specialist midwife and she saw the problem immediately and showed me how to fix it. I’m very glad I persisted in the end. Do they have those where you are?

That should be I was in agony - although U probably are too!

I feel for u OP. It took 3 weeks after my son was born for BF to not feel sore for me. The latch just wasn't right. I only had the midwife out to the house to see me after the birth and she was helpful in trying to correct the latch. I also bought a pump (I know they say not to pump until ur milk supply has been established but it was never a problem for me). I used loads and loads of nipple balm and after the 3 weeks I was so glad I stuck with it. It became so easy after that.
U could buy a hand pump to express until u can figure out the latch? Try and get as much help as possible too. All the best x

@Ginandplatonic no I’m not in agony because she won’t even try and latch on. Won’t suck my nipple or anything. The midwives were actually very good so I’m just really confused why she doesn’t want to try my boob and hasn’t since the second she was born.

Any time she goes down to my boob she just closes her eyes or goes to sleep.

How old is she now and has she had any alternative food? Could she be jaundiced?

Is she feeding at all ?
How old is she and has she been weighed recently ?

She may have tongue tie. I'd try and hand express and see if a softened breast will be easier for her. Or try shields if shes really struggling, you can always wean her off them once it's established

If you don’t have a breast pump you can use formula as a one off. If she is full and then sleeps she’ll have more energy when she wakes up to feed.
I had a premature baby by section (and he had a lip tie) and I remember how miserable the early days were, he was too small and weak to feed. I used premixed formula for two weeks, giving an extra 30 ml twice a day. I stopped after that, it had no effect at all, and I never used formula again (he’s 2 and still feeding).
Nipple shields were great for a bad latch but it sounds like your problem is more that she isn’t trying rather than that she’s latching badly.

Warm shower and gentle massage to hand express off for relief.

Your baby needs to be seen urgently though, how old? A newborn should be feeding every 2-3h

My first was a bit like this - she could latch etc but mostly just fell asleep the instant she saw boob. It took us 2 weeks of expressing and feeding with bottle and breast alternately. Even then I always had to blow on her face/tickle her feet etc to keep her awake enough at feeds to actually get enough! If you don’t already have one get yourself a pump OP. Will baby take your milk from a bottle?
When engorged, I found the haakaa pump/milk catcher pretty good, though it didn’t really work for me at other times. Good luck (it will all be worth it!)

I should say I also fed DD formula a few times in those first days because she was very weak/tiny and there were concerns about her weight loss. She barfed it all up immediately (too full I think!) but it gave her the energy to try to latch.

We are feeding her formula! I want to breastfeed but the most important thing to me is my baby is fed. Day four since birth today. Yes exactly the issue is not a bad latch. The issue is complete disinterest in breastfeeding. Spending all day skin to skin etc, feel like at least with a bad latch it could be improved.

When did the baby last feed? The colostrum in the syringe? Is she having wet nappies?

Have you tried stroking your nipple against her cheek when she roots? Have you got any breast shields?

Re the engorgement, it's horrid, but you could try placing warm flannels on your breasts and placing a sterilised container underneath you to collect the leak.

These are tough hours, when the milk comes in. You can feel quite unwell. It will pass.

If you're worried that the baby isn't feeding you need to take her in. Don't be afraid of getting the help you need.

I hope it all works out. Take care of yourself.

What’s your baby feeding on OP? If you’re giving formula as a top up then she’s full from that and doesn’t need to feed - if you want to establish breastfeeding then stop formula and see if she will latch then. If you’re not giving formula then please get help ASAP as your baby needs to feed.
It doesn’t sound like tongue tie as she’d be nuzzling and trying to latch.

I'm no expert but I would Amazon Prime yourself a breast pump. If your milk has come in you should get good amounts from a high quality one and maintain supply while she maybe wakes up to the world a bit!

Ah, x post. Baby is feeding. Perseverance is the key with breast feeding, but it ain't easy. Try different holds. Sometimes babies can be fussy about the way they're held for a breast feed.

What are your nipples like.
One of mine is flat from a piercing and so because the nipple doesn't l touch the roof of babies mouth he doesn't start sucking.

I got a nipple thing you put on before the feed that helps shape the nipple out.

You could also try undressing baby, they might be getting too warm and cosy on you.

Or as others have said, baby might not have the energy bf is hard work. So give her a bottle then next feed offer breast.

Saw update on formula so you can ignore the above! Phew.

But you need to reduce the formula to get her interested in breastfeeding. She’s not going to eat when full.

@peachypetite my daughter is now 6 months old and was born with a tongue tie and a high roof of her mouth which made the traditional feeding holds quite ineffective for her, this made me sore and she wouldn't latch. the feeding consultant suggested I try the koala hold feeding position, it might be worth having a look and seeing if your baby finds it easier to latch on that position or the relaxed feeding position (you lay back slightly in this one and place the baby on your tummy so they can try and root for the food), we have used these and to be honest are still my go to feeding position even though she is a lot bigger now.

If you can get the experts back out to give you more support I'd recommend as issues with feeding early on are fairly common and there are usually lots of different things to try.

Haakaa pump or equivalent is great for releasing the pressure of engorgement. Hopefully she'll get the idea soon. You're doing great, keep it up, and try not to feel too shit about it, it's not your fault, it's hard and sounds like she hasn't figured out what the nipple is for yet. Keep trying! Now your milk is in she'll be able to smell it so this should help. You could try giving her a little bottle feed so she's got some energy, then swapping your boob in while she's still hungry for more.

If your boobs are really engorged then I'd put a warm flannel on them and try pump a little milk out first to make it easier for her to latch on to your nipple. Then strip baby down to her nappy when she is due a feed. Try the rugby ball hold instead of across chest as it might not be as cosy for her and hopefully wont fall asleep. If she looks like she is you can gently run your nail along the soul of her foot. Obviously not hard, it just usually wakes them up a bit as its tickly. Or you can try after her top and tail when she is a bit more alert.. she is still very little though so is maybe sleepy. When my eldest done this the midwife when I brought her up to my breast would also stroke her cheek or lightly run her nail on it to make her open her little mouth and if you can latch her on then if you gently rub the soft bit under her jaw that stimulates their swallowing reflex (this is also a good tip for when they need to take medicine as babies and toddlers).

Yeh I get what you are saying about being full from formula but we had two days in hospital without it and she didn’t latch then and I had 1-2-1 midwife support, them tickling her feet, helping me position etc. I know she’s not going to eat when full so we give her a little formula and then later (not immediately) we do skin to skin etc and still nothing. I have a haakaa coming today but do I need another pump too? Really hoping to express milk and give it to her via a bottle. Just feeling really down about it all.

Ps. Once boobs are engorged, latching gets harder because baby bounces off. You'll need to express off somehow to soften the boob. If you get going on a pump or Haakaa when engorged, the milk should keep squirting out, so maybe a good time to get your nipple near her mouth so she gets to taste the milk.

For me the Haakaa was more effective than an electric pump so no you might not need both.
Don't beat yourself up. Your hormones are raging, you're exhausted. It sounds like you're doing everything right. It really is just perseverance now. Have faith, even if you need to pump and bottle feed, your baby is getting all your good milk, and formula is a wonderful thing too. Get yourself a delicious calorific snack, try to get some sleep if you have someone to take baby, and try again later. The relief when you get that Haakaa on will be immense. The first few days are SO HARD and you're doing a great job, your daughter is fed and loved, that's all she needs.x