Please help! Baby not latching, milk coming in, in pain

[peachypetite]

As above really. Baby just has no interest in even attempting to latch. This is despite help from la leche league and loads of one to one help from midwives in hospital. Managed to give colostrum in syringe but tried hand expressing earlier and no milk would come out however it was leaking from me on both sides. I have big boobs at the best of times let alone now, I’ve only slept an hour all night because it’s too sore to even lay down.

You've got plenty of advise, I just want to say good luck with breastfeeding. And most importantly look after yourself.

If she's being fed formula she may find the teat on the bottle is much easier to use than your nipple.
Can you express and bottle feed?
I'd say now for the immediate pain get in a hot shower and hand express til you feel relief.
Longer term for the nipple confusion you could try nipple shields which may help and then wean back to breast

Thanks all for your tips. Just to say her behaviour hasn’t changed since the formula. She’s doing all the same things as in hospital when she was just getting hand expressed colostrum. Eg falling asleep at my boob, making a fist with her finger and trying to eat that instead, not bothered whether anyone tickles her feet etc will still just chill there instead of making any effort to latch! @wineymummy thank you for your kind words it made me cry (again).

Try to get a double electric pump, I used a Medela one. Dd did try but never managed to latch, so I pumped and fed breastmilk by bottle for 2 months. You will need to pump every few hours though, including through the night, to build your supply up, it is hard work. Have the midwives not gone through any of this with you? I wad told to tru breastfeeding, then feed by bottle from last pumping session, then top up with formula, then pump and store in the fridge. Kellymom website is a great resource with lots of advice. Im sorry you are going through this, it is really hard.

My first was like this and particularly struggled when I was engorged as couldn't get her mouth round nipple as so firm. I finally managed to get her onto one side one night by feeding her in a warmish bath (holding baby out) which helped the milk flow and the boob get softer

The other boob I had to pump first but we did get there in the end

I had to completely undress my baby down to the nappy (in winter) to get him alert enough to feed. You can cover with a blanket once she gets going.
You’re only a couple of days in, it will get better.

My eldest ended up never properly getting it and I expressed for 6 months. I then went on to successfully breastfeed my next two children. The first just wasnt up for it. Do not get yourself worked up about this. Happy mummy = happy baby and that is the most important thing right now. If she wont take it and it's easier to formula feed that's okay dont get yourself upset about it, it doesnt make you a failure in anyway or anything like that so please dont get upset.

@GirlCalledJames yes I never even attempt it unless we are skin to skin her just in her nappy. @Scbchl that’s interesting. And reassuring to know there are indeed some babies who just don’t. I have rational moments and then all of a sudden I find myself bursting into tears because of it.

@peachypetite that's hormones for you. I cried pretty much every day for 10 days when I had my first baby. Anything could set me off. There's so much pressure to breastfeed that it's not surprising it's causing you some tears. All that good intention and the baby just won't cooperate. Hopefully your pump has arrived now and you're able to express something. If you find you need an electric pump, PM me your address - I've got one I can send you.

Hi all.
Feeling much better tonight since I got a Haakaa and have managed to express milk from both sides and my boobs no longer feel like they are on fire. Hoping baby will take from a bottle tomorrow.

Outer cabbage leaves if boobs are sore stick them over boob inside bra.
Can you have a quick shower before feeding. It will help milk run.try lying with baby on the bed to feed. Did you have any injection like pethedine as can affect baby for first few days?

Read ‘Breast is Best’ I wish I had for the first. Gave up at four months but 2,3 & 4 breast fed. Good luck.

I second what @nancydowns said. My DD was born at 34 weeks and although she was a good size for her gestation and her lungs etc were well developed she didn't try and suck when she latches on. She would just lie there. After a few days which ended up with her in SCBU for a feeding tube as she utterly refused formula and managed to work up the energy to scream in rage and throw it across the room, although she would happily take my expressed milk from a cup or spoon we had a wonderful nurse who had an epiphany. She put some gloves on and put her pinky finger in DD's mouth. Nothing. Then she moved it further back and suck...suck...suck. Her suck reflex hadn't fully developed yet and was too far back in her mouth for my nipple to stimulate it. She gave me a nipple shield and we had instant success. I have spoken to one mum recently with a newborn who was born full term and after 2 weeks was still just falling asleep on the breast and only taking expressed milk from bottles. A nipple shield cured her and it only took a fortnight for her to be so good at breastfeeding that her mum started weaning her off the shield. I know that they are controversial but in some cases they do have merit.

OP I'm in a similar position, and my baby was diagnosed with a tongue tie about a week after birth. We had it cut, but she now needs to learn to breastfeed again and getting her to latch can be a struggle. As @Kayjay2018 says, the koala feeding position has worked for us although I find it a bit tricky to support her and my breast at the same time. I've also had some success with nipple shields, recommended by a lactation consultant, so that might be worth a go. We're still topping up with formula but I'm hoping as she develops strength and technique we can drop that... good luck, I know how tough it is and the pressure to keep breastfeeding is immense.

I had exactly this issue with my dd.
She was just not interested in latching, it was a struggle for her as I have flat/inverted nipples and she had a tongue tie. I sought so much extra support and on the advice of hcps I kept persevering, pumping around the clock, trying her on the breast, skin to skin but unfortunately after 2 months of perseverance she still wouldn’t latch. Obviously, she began to favour bottle feeding as that’s what I had to do to keep her fed.

I just want to say, I spent 2 months crying over breastfeeding. I was touching on pnd and I didn’t enjoy my dd at all and I really regret that now. It really was an extremely miserable time when it should have been a happy time. She’s 2.5 now and the milk part of her life is a distant memory.

Your daughter is fed and loved and that’s what matters. Hang in there, those early days are so so so hard.

@Bowerbird5 no, just gas and air
@Brenna24 tried nipple shields and she just pulled it off!!

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time. I'll say that my baby only latched for the first few days of his life, but my milk never really came in so he decided as he wasn't getting much/any from the breast to give up on latching. It perplexed the lactation consultant we saw but that's our story. Unfortunate now at 1 month old, he won't even try and latch and frankly my supply is so low that it won't feed him anyways. I'm pumping as much as I can and I give it to him in a bottle alongside formula.

I did all my crying about it already. I wish I had more milk as I would have persevered more with breastfeeding.

I'd express the milk off. Mine wouldn't latch at all and was very disinterested- turned out the boobs were just so engorged she couldn't get anywhere a latch. In the end I expressed everything off with an electric pump untill they were nice and soft again (such relief) and then she latched.

Be warned, this will up your supply, but I had no issues with it personally and if you're expressing to feed it shouldn't matter.

Make sure you follow the instructions on shields so they are suctioned on. YouTube has videos to demonstrate.

I’ve expressed 60ml this evening and going to set an alarm and express more in a couple of hours. Very happy she’s had some of my breast milk

@peachypetite

I’ve expressed 60ml this evening and going to set an alarm and express more in a couple of hours. Very happy she’s had some of my breast milk

Oh excellent! I'm so pleased for you. Did she take it from a bottle?

@FourPlatinumRings yes took it from a bottle no qualms. Made me feel a bit emotional.

That's lovely. Expressing to feed is a great way to go. Well done 🙂

I’m not intending to exclusively pump but I feel like some breast milk is better than none!

How are you getting on now @peachypetite? Feeling a bit more settled I hope.

I could never hand express. Nothing would come out, even once my milk came in and my boobs were full. I asked my husband to try and it was horribly painful, I had to bite down on a pencil whilst he did it. We'd just get drops out.

Electric breastpump was a life saver! It did a great job of getting the milk out and providing relief. My dd didn't latch until she was about 3 months old, so whilst we were still trying I just pumped milk and gave it to her in a bottle so she wasn't starving.

She would always fall asleep at the breast. None of that tickling her feet or making her cold or whatever else made any difference. She just wanted to sleep on my boobs. I just let her. She grew out of it naturally at around 3 months, which is around the time she managed to latch on.