Breastfeeding advice please!

[Ellax]

Hi I’m a ftm to a 2.5 week old. He’s had the odd few days of cluster feeding but today he wanted to feed for almost 5 hours straight to the point where it was becoming really painful and sore for me and he was becoming really frustrated because for the past couple hours I don’t think he was able to get much milk from me. I’m pretty sure he sucked me dry and when I tried to express with my hand hardly anything was coming out which I’m assuming is because he was on them for such a long time?

Ive just had to give him 120ml of formula to satisfy him and also to give me a break. Was I wrong to do this? Could I have a low supply which is why he was getting so frustrated towards the end of the breastfeed? Will I have made my supply worse by now having given him that bit of formula?

I go no more than 3 hours between feeds (rarwkt 3.5) and that’s only at night time. Am I leaving it to long??

Thanks in advance!

Him sucking for so long will have stimulated your supply so your milk supply will increase to meet his demand. I think it’s fine to give a bit of formula to give yourself a break, I don’t think the odd formula feed will impact your supply especially when he’s at the breast so much. Don’t forget to use a lot of lanolin regularly to make sure you don’t get too sore

He’s probably just trying to increase your supply for his next growth spurt! The more they suck the more milk you make. My 8week old fed most of last night and I also resorted to a bottle of formula at 2am. It won’t hurt occasionally. Put lansinoh on after every feed. Make sure you eat and drink plenty.
I’m feeding my second and it does get much easier at 12 weeks and is a total doddle by 16 weeks.

Thanks for your help - are you sure that it’s not just that I have a low supply and he’s getting frustrated because I can’t give him what he needs? He’s had the odd bottle every other day sometimes everyday as he had jaundice and wanted to clear it ASAP x

You need to make sure you are drinking loads of water. Dehydration is common when breastfeeding and can severely impact your supply.

You need to drink a pint of water basically every hour or so, dehydration can have a massive impact on milk production. Also, try feeding more often than every 3 hours. It is a pain, but that will increase your milk production.

Basically the more they are on the breast now, the quicker your boobs know how much milk to make. It’s SO normal for babies to cluster feed and get a bit furious at the boob, or thrash about a bit. They’re learning as much as you are!

As long as baby is alert when awake, producing plenty of wet and dirty nappies and the soft spot isn’t sunken they are getting enough milk.

I don’t think it will be low supply, I’ve got gallons on milk and mine still sucks for hours. I know I have enough because dd lost so much weight early on and they were concerned I didn’t have enough so I had to express and there was plenty. I also leak like a sieve and she still spends hours sucking and thrashing. It’s really hard going but totally normal. Try and rest, sleep as much as you can and enjoy some box sets on your iPad whilst he feeds.
Mine has a bottle most days because of the weight loss and hospital are keen to ensure she doesn’t refuse a bottle incase the weight loss begins again. It is best not to give the bottle at night, although I do often

as that it the time the order is put in for future production.

@TeddyIsaHe is it ok to go 1 or 2 three hour gaps between feeds in a 24 hour period or just not at all? He’s been on my boob all day so I was hoping I could give myself a 3 hour stretch in tonight instead of waking him around the 2 hour mark ??

At what point can you extend the gaps between feeds?

@Itllbeaninterestingchristmas thanks for the tips I jus really struggle to get comfy when I’m feeding him, i think I tense up which I now consciously try and stop myself doing but it always feels like the pillows are never right and I’d rather he not lose his latch so I just end up being in a suboptimal position. I’ve been trying to breastfeed lying down but I really struggle to get a good latch that way and he just ends up going solely for the nipple

Do you have a nursing pillow, op? Mine really helped me with my daughter, and that was 21 years ago.

www.amazon.co.uk/Bamibi-Multifunctional-Pregnancy-Breastfeeding-Polyester/dp/B07QNRNSB5/ref=sr_1_2_sspa?dchild=1&psc=1&crid=1JTP40JOROG32&keywords=nursing+pillow&sprefix=Nursing%2Caps%2C535&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUFYT1pESjJWMFlINU8mZW5jcnlwdGVkSWQ9QTA0OTMyOTQyTjFIOVAwMlUyQUUxJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTAyMDA5NzlRWTBaMjFNWkJRQTAmd2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGYmYWN0aW9uPWNsaWNrUmVkaXJlY3QmZG9Ob3RMb2dDbGljaz10cnVl&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1601499868&sr=8-2-spons

Good grief. Sorry for the outrageously long link.

Don’t wake him up unless he’s not his birth weight and even then you can leave him 3 hours between feeds. Both mine lost weight (it was cmpa) after they were born. Generally once they’re at their birth weight and gaining steadily, about 200g gained per week you don’t have to wake them up to feed.
I tend to wake mine after 3.5 hours during the day but not at night.
I couldn’t have fed my first laying down very well at this stage and it’s not that easier with DD as she is also a just a nipple sucker if she can get away with it. Laying down is easier when they’re a bit older. Have you tried sat on the sofa, feet on a footstool and a pile of cushions supporting the arm that’s holding the baby? Watching something on the iPad or tv is nice and distracting when feeding, I find I relax more and the time passes quickly. You may prefer a nice slice of cake and a hot drink in a thermal mug with the non spill top. It’s a new skill for both of you and it takes a bit of getting used to.

Hi everyone - today has been really rough - he’s 3 weeks today and has been feeding on me since 7:30 this morning. He feeds and then falls asleep on the boob and then I try and put him down and 10 minutes later he’s crying and wanting more boob. So I give him more boob, he looks satisfied and then I don’t bother putting him in his cot I just let him sleep on me so I can give my boobs a rest but he starts get to my angry and frustrated and gesture for more boob. This has gone round in circles all day and it’s now 3:30pm about an hour ago I couldn’t take it anymore so I gave him 90 ml of formula, burped him but he wants boobs again. I’ve given him both boobs now and he’s just getting angry but keeps gesturing for more. My boobs feel empty by this point and when I squeeze them hardly anything Is coming out because he hasn’t given them a moment to refill properly.

He must be exhausted by now. He hasn’t slept more than 30 mins in total since this morning. That is not normal for a 3 week old surely??

Please someone help I have no idea what else I could do for him at this point

*he starts to get angry and frustrated

Also I meant to add that he seems frustrated/uncomfortable.

I’m worried that by this point maybe there’s something wrong like reflux or something. But he doesn’t stop crying if o hold him up right he only stops crying when I put him on my boob

It’s fine to give the occasional bottle of formula for a break. I’m sure others have said this but cluster feeding him putting his orders in so you make for milk for him tomorrow.

If jaundice has gone and he is putting on weight well then never wake him at night to feed. I will still try and feed every 3 hours ish during the days in the hope he sleeps better at night. The hormone which works together to make you produce more milk is mainly release over night so babies have to feed over night lots in the beginning.

Definitely don’t let him feed with a bad latch. I know it’s so tempting but it hurt you and he won’t be feeding well so will feed for longer.

I found a normal bed pillow better than a feeding pillow. At the start I would get a good latch and then slide the pillow underneath her.

Expressing it’s not a sign of how much milk you have. I can’t express at all and other than the odd bottle which I had to stop at a few weeks my baby was ebf until 6 months when I started giving her food.

You are doing so well. It’s absolutely exhausting so try and make sure you are eating and drinking regularly. Make sure you have a big drink every time you feed. It’s still very early and assuming you don’t have any other children all you should be focusing on is feeding your baby, have a shower and brush your teeth twice a day - you don’t need to achieve anything else yet. Some/most days that’s all you will be able to achieve over the next few weeks and it’s fine.

@Ellax

Hi everyone - today has been really rough - he’s 3 weeks today and has been feeding on me since 7:30 this morning. He feeds and then falls asleep on the boob and then I try and put him down and 10 minutes later he’s crying and wanting more boob. So I give him more boob, he looks satisfied and then I don’t bother putting him in his cot I just let him sleep on me so I can give my boobs a rest but he starts get to my angry and frustrated and gesture for more boob. This has gone round in circles all day and it’s now 3:30pm about an hour ago I couldn’t take it anymore so I gave him 90 ml of formula, burped him but he wants boobs again. I’ve given him both boobs now and he’s just getting angry but keeps gesturing for more. My boobs feel empty by this point and when I squeeze them hardly anything Is coming out because he hasn’t given them a moment to refill properly.

He must be exhausted by now. He hasn’t slept more than 30 mins in total since this morning. That is not normal for a 3 week old surely??

Please someone help I have no idea what else I could do for him at this point

Cross posts.

Is he weeing OK?
Have you tried putting him in a sling?

Yep lots of wees and 2 dirty nappies this morning although I’d expect him to have done another poo by now? I have noticed that the past couple days he’s grunting a lot and thrashing about a bit in his cot at night as if he’s in discomfort. So I’m wondering if this is something else other than cluster feeding?

I haven’t bothered putting him in the sling because when I tried that yesterday (yesterday was similar to today but not as bad as today) he just starts head butting me to feed him and then I have to undo the whole sling and it just becomes a drag.

I’ve stopped waking him up for feeds As he’s gaining weight fine but unfortunately when I stopped waking for feeds he’s suddenly now sleeping for shorter stretches. Just my luck.

How is it possible for him to not have had a proper nap since 7 this morning? I thought that was impossible for a newborn??

I hardly slept last night and was banking on some daytime naps to make up for it. But now it’s nearly 4 and I’m worried it’s going to go on like this all night.

I don’t know what I’m doing wrong? I’m really trying to stay calm but I’m running on empty

And yes been drinking lots of water and coconut water

Are you burping him @Ellax when you are feeding him? It could be gas. It's a common misconception that breastfed babies don't need burping. So if he feeds for a bit then removes himself from boob try burping at that point. He may not burp so don't worry if he doesn't. If you have been already I apologise.

@cannotmakemymindup yep that’s exactly what I’ve been doing so I’m just at a complete loss!

hiya, its so hard in the beginning and you're doing well. it does get easier though and makes the hard beginning worthwhile.

what support do you have or can you access? do you have a local infant feeding team? are you still under midwife care or would someone be able to come out to see you and check latch and offer advice. or a breastfeeding consultant, la leche league or the national breastfeeding helpline. or any local breastfeeding groups that can offer support online or over the phone. there is help but you have to ask or shout for it!

has he been checked for tongue tie?

he could be in a growth spurt and so extra fussy but also feeding more. kellymom.com/hot-topics/growth-spurts/

will he sleep if you hold him with access to the boob? if you can, sitting and watching TV with some snacks while he sleeps and feeds can help.

can you try skin to skin with him?

lying down feeding is really useful so persist with it if you can and want to.

don't feel like your breasts get empty, they are like a river and not a lake. although you may not be able to express much or anything by hand, its not the same as a baby sucking so he is still likely to be getting milk. discuss it with someone qualified though as they will be able to offer better advice than me! but on the supply, as you are only 3 weeks in, it is better for your supply to avoid formula as much as possible. if possible, get help and support with housework, food prep etc, and letting you get some sleep so that you can breastfeed as much as you can and build up your supply. Google the top up trap.

It may feel like your breasts are empty but they never ever are.

Well done for trying so hard @Ellax you really sound like you have it down. I agree with others maybe get latch checked. I'm currently feeding my second child and I didn't do correct latch at first even though I thought I was. Once we sussed that it made a big difference. I had to do a cross cradle hold - still do to get my DS to latch on correctly. Then he fed better, my supply upped and much more satisfied baby.

just read your updates, you arent doing anything wrong at all. it sounds like you are trying your absolute best. some days they just don't sleep much, I wouldn't worry too much about that if you are offering him the chance to sleep, so milk and lots of cuddles. for the first 6 weeks or so im sure I just sat and watched TV and held him all day, he fed and slept in my arms. there were certainly very tricky times, especially evenings, but we tried lots of different positions holding him, the tiger tree one I think was good. so holding along your forearm with his head over your hand, rubbing his back, gently swaying, anything to soothe him! it DOES pass though and honestly I can barely remember those days and im only 9 months in! please get as much help as you can.

My experience of my LB in those early weeks was that he wanted to be constantly on the boob feeding and sleeping. Ideally sleeping with boob in mouth, it's such a comfort to them to suck. I was reassured that he was gaining weight, and I made the decision to on occasion give him a dummy when he had been at it for hours and seemed to want to comfort suck.
I could tell this by the fact he wasn't really swallowing just lazily sucking every now and then. So I popped a dummy in (mam ones he liked best) and if he just wanted to sleep it would work. If he was hungry he would spit it out and we would go back to breast.
Others may disagree but it gave me a break and kept me sane!

Sorry to hear you’ve had a bad day. Is he being weighed by the hv? Wind is a possibility. Don’t worry about the infrequent pooing. DS used to go once a fortnight and DD only goes every other day. It could’ve comfort sucking and a dummy might help that but it won’t increase your supply if that’s what DS is trying to do. Both mine had/have dummies, it can be a risk but it does stop the comfort sucking.
Another option is to put him in the car seat and drive round until he falls asleep go back home and lift seat into house. Or push him out in the pram until he falls asleep, he may howl for the first few hundred yards but it’s worth it longterm. Use blankets not a pram suit then you can just reduce the blankets when you get back home.

oh and another piece of advice someone gave us was to go to bed when baby does in the evening. I have been going to bed at 7 or 8 pm since January and get 8-12 hours of broken sleep but it helped (and still helps) so much with managing tiredness.