Breastfeeding advice please!

[Ellax]

Hi I’m a ftm to a 2.5 week old. He’s had the odd few days of cluster feeding but today he wanted to feed for almost 5 hours straight to the point where it was becoming really painful and sore for me and he was becoming really frustrated because for the past couple hours I don’t think he was able to get much milk from me. I’m pretty sure he sucked me dry and when I tried to express with my hand hardly anything was coming out which I’m assuming is because he was on them for such a long time?

Ive just had to give him 120ml of formula to satisfy him and also to give me a break. Was I wrong to do this? Could I have a low supply which is why he was getting so frustrated towards the end of the breastfeed? Will I have made my supply worse by now having given him that bit of formula?

I go no more than 3 hours between feeds (rarwkt 3.5) and that’s only at night time. Am I leaving it to long??

Thanks in advance!

thats fab you got him to sleep for those two longer stretches! I hope you got some sleep too. brilliant you've had the consultation and she didnt pick up any major issues. but trust your instincts and if you think the tongue tie is causing him difficulty then ask her again or elsewhere. maybe ask the midwife to check too.

I think there may be a growth spurt around 2-3 weeks so perhaps that was/is it. he could be playing catch up too, I'm sure i read something about that but can't remember where now. the first few weeks are very intense to get bf established, you are doing amazingly well.

@Ellax

I had a private consultant come on Sunday and she said that he has a minor posterior tongue tie but that it may not be a problem as posterior ones aren’t as bad as anterior. She said it may mean that it takes him longer to get full. She recommended ‘switch feeding’ so that he’s getting more let downs and there’s more gulps and the boob which he isn’t on to put a silicone pump on to boost supply. She said do this for a week and it should sort it out. He finally fell asleep at around 5ish for 3/4 hours. Then when he was up again I fed him but then also gave him a small bottle of some of the Expressed milk I had collected from the silicone pump and he slept again for a few hours.

I’m not sure whether to just get the tongue tie sorted out. Don’t want to do it if it’s not going to make a difference but also don’t want to be struggling like this all week to then find out that actually he should get it done.

Have a midwife appointment tomorrow where they’ll weigh him. They’ve been happy with him weight gain so far. He was a small baby I’m not sure if perhaps that plays a roll in the constant feeding?

I'd get the tongue tie sorted, personally, as they can (but don't always) impact on speech development.

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for all your help.

Just got back from midwife appointment and this week he only gained 75grams. Week before that he gained almost 250grams and week before that 135 so something had definitely gone wrong.
Midwife thinks it’s a combinations of things, I showed her me feeding him and she said he was latched on fine but she said my breasts were quite soft and now that she’s said it now that I think about it my breasts have not been as full this week like they were the weeks before. Also haven’t been eating or sleeping much because he’s been on my boob for hours or crying when he’s not on it. And when he has slept I find it so hard to sleep myself because I’m waiting for him to wake up any second.

She said his tongue tie doesn’t seem to be a problem because it’s posterior and apart from this week he’s had no problem feeding and gaining weight. She thinks the problem is my supply. So I’m giving him boob and then topping him up with expressed breast milk afterwards. Getting a double Electric pump today.

She said the relentless feeding and crying is because he’s tired but he’s not full. Feel terrible that he’s been hungry this whole time pretty much. Got home and gave him boobs and then gave him a bottle of Brest milk I had collected from silicone pump and he’s now fast asleep on my shoulder.
I knew something was wrong. It just didn’t make sense and after a week straight of him feeding for 10+ hours it didn’t seem to qualify as cluster feeding either.

Going to sleep and eat more abs pump after each feed as midwife recommends.

If anyone has ANY other tips to boost supply I’d really appreciate it. Really want to get him back on track

Thank you xx

Drink loads, take fenugreek supplements, eat things with lots of oats in, and try and bf as much as humanely possible at night - that’s when the hormone responsible for milk production is highest. Also as much skin to skin as you can.

I think oats are good for supple so get or bake some flapjack full of nuts and seeds x

kellymom.com/hot-topics/low-supply/

There's some tips on increasing milk supply towards the end of this page.

sounds like you are already but if you can keep topping up with expressed milk after feedings rather than formula. Will he take the bottle from your partner? then you can feed and go for a rest. and get your partner to make you plenty of nutritious snacky food so you don't need to prepare anything. I found it helpful to have a water bottle with a sports top with me all the time and set myself targets to drink! also if you want to use oats then oat milk might be good as you get the oats and the liquid!

you've done and are doing so well! Will the midwife come and see you again in a few days?

Do what you can to boost supply. But in the end it’s really important that your baby has full feeds and can sleep well, and that you can get a break sometimes.
At this point I would feel absolutely zero guilt for topping up with formula.

Op is topping up with expressed breastmilk, her baby is not starving

She was told that the relentless feeding and crying is because her baby is tired but not full.

@boydy99

Thanks for the link, I had a look last night. Going to see midwife on Saturday.

went to top him up with EBM last night and I spilt the entire contents all over the floor so had to give him formula. I despair! Worried that his latch is getting worse from using bottle too .... 😔

@Ellax oh that is worst i feel for you! how has the last couple of days been, is it helping to top him up with expressed milk/formula after boob? and how are you finding expressing? I dont really have any tips for the latch apart from maybe look up paced feeding when using the bottle. I think as long as you are feeding from the boob at every feed that should help. when my LO was tiny I used to spend whole days in bed feeding him and napping with him, only leaving to put chips in the oven, haha. the kellymom site suggests taking baby to bed for a few days to increase supply. 🥰

Oh god I have spilled EBM too. One time I was so tired I tipped the whole thing down the sink instead of screwing the teat on. Man I cried!!!

Hiya, hope you're doing ok, just saw a post on facebook from the milk meg this morning (worth following if you're on fb), cant share the actual post here but here is a link from her website on tongue tie:

themilkmeg.com/when-unexplained-breastfeeding-pain-is-an-indicator-of-tongue-and-lip-ties/

How are you getting on OP? You've had some great suggestions on here, but just wanted to add a few more which may help to increase your supply and help baby get a deep latch and you more rest.

Firstly, another tip to help increase your supply and to get baby actively drinking again, if it seems that they are sucking but not drinking, is to use breast compressions whilst your baby is at the breast. You don't need to do this while baby is actively drinking, but once he has slowed down and doing little ineffective sucks only, you can do the compressions to encourage the milk to flow again. Once baby tastes the milk, he should start actively sucking and drinking again. You can pause the compressions while this is happening to give your hand a break!

Also you mentioned you can't get a good latch whilst lying down. Is this on your side? I highly recommend biological nurturing (AKA laid back breastfeeding). Can you google it so this message doesn't get too long? It's great for helping to achieve a deep, optimal latch and for you to be comfortable and get more rest.

Let us know how you get on. The early weeks can be very hard, but it improves greatly, I promise!

Hi everyone,

Im still really struggling. Lactation consultant recommended switch nursing but it’s just really stressful for me and the baby too. The first 5-10 minutes of every feed are good and then he starts getting really upset and thrashing around so I end up giving him a bottle to top him up. Mostly it’s my breast milk that I’ve pumped in a bottle but it’s not always easy to have enough on standby for the next feed so it’s often formula too. I know it’s a catch 22 and this is only going to reduce my supply further... but what can I do when he’s hungry??

Im pretty devastated by all of this. I can’t go anywhere or do anything because I can’t just feed him without it resulting in him screaming his head off. I’m so tense and doing everything I can to relax but it’s so hard and I feel like he’s picking up on how anxious I am.

Woman at breastfeeding clinic recommended rugby ball because it stimulates more breast tissue but it’s just So hard getting the pillows in position especially when it’s the middle of the night and I’m trying to keep lights to a minimum.

I’m so saddened by all of this. I just don’t understand why it’s so difficult for me. I’ve also started taking domperidone 30mg a day but I don’t see much of a difference.

The biological feeding position works but only if he’s calm and not very hungry.

My day is comprised of me putting him on the boob - he drinks a fair bit but then gets very angry and upset. I go and give him a top up. I then try and put him down or get someone to hold him then I set up breast pump and pump for a bit. Then I clean all the bottles and breast pump and then he’s hungry again.

Im started to think I should just put him on formula which was out of the question for me initially because I’m just so stressed and anxious all the time and I feel like I’m putting him under stress too. I just don’t know what to do. All I wanted to breastfeed. I’m just so upset.

Is this mix feeding sustainable? He’s almost 5 weeks

Thanks for all your help anyway

I hear you, sister. I'm going through it at the moment and it is rough. Different problems but same crappy emotions. Go with mix feeding maybe? Don't feel guilty. You have done your best and the effort and strength required to do that is bloody Herculean. You're a hero. I'm sending you lots of sleep deprived hugs from neonate land.

Oh god, give him formula! I’m all for being pro-breastfeeding, but you’re going to kill yourself with stress.

Why don’t you try keeping a couple of feeds a day, and then formula the rest of the time? Best of both worlds then.

@FourPlasticRings thank you, I take comfort in the fact that I’m not the only one having a less than perfect newborn experience. sorry to hear you’re going through a rough time. Sending you a virtual hug back ! X

@TeddyIsaHe is that sustainable? Won’t that just result in my milk supply completely drying up? I think what’s making the problem worse in addition to my supply is that he’s got use to the bottle so when he’s on my boob he gets lazy after the first easy bit of milk which is so frustrating but it’s not even his fault poor thing x

OP, hope you are doing better and sorry to hear you've had a rough ride. I had a tough few weeks at the start, it was shit. I just wanted to say I combi fed with formula. Baby managed switching from boob to bottle okay and over about 2 months I was able to slowly reduce the formula and now just bf. I just tried to make sure I bf as much as was feasible and gave formula after.

@Keha thanks for your message. The feeding seems to be slightly better and I’ve definitely noticed a boost in my supply - now I’m only topping him up about twice a day and that’s mostly with expressed breast milk but I don’t always have time to pump so sometimes it’s formula. My problem is that he’s always always signalling that he’s hungry even when I’ve fed him and because I have had problems with my supply I’m always worried that he’s actually hungry. He screams when he’s not on my boob I don’t even have time to go to the loo. Trying to find ways to distract him between feeds because during the day he does not want to sleep and only ever signals for food. I can’t leave the house or do anything I’m really struggling. He’s been really gassy and he seemed to be in a lot of discomfort at night and generally really unsettled which maybe explains why he constantly wants to be on my boob. Doctor prescribed infacol for colic and omeprazole for suspected silent reflux.

They say at the 6 week mark things get easier but I think it’s got harder. He just cries all day not stop unless I put him on my boob. It’s really painful because my nipples aren’t getting a break.

Im worried that those hours and hours of non stop feeding which at the time I thought was cluster feeding was instead just him using me as a dummy and now he only feels settled and ‘normal’ when he’s on my boob

Hopefully he'll style once the reflux is sorted- he's probably just feeding for pain relief. Will he take a dummy instead?

*stop, not style

Oh OP I have been reading this thread in absolute dismay, the fact that you started the thread several weeks ago and you are still struggling. From reading your very first posts it seemed obvious to me that the problem was tongue tie (my son had it and fed CONSTANTLY too) and I was so gutted to read that a "specialist" told you the tongue tie wasn't causing an issue when it clearly IS causing an issue! He is feeding constantly which is not sustainable for either of you (you must both be exhausted) and he is also not getting enough milk. Predictably you were advised to top up with formula which is going to affect your supply. And because you've not had the right advice or support you are now thinking about giving up breastfeeding I despair I really do, this is why we have such low breastfeeding rates, when desperate mums don't get the support they need

Please please please see a tongue tie specialist, tell them what you've told us, and get the tongue tie divided. You can find one at www.tongue-tie.org.uk/find-a-practitioner/

When my son's (mild posterior) tongue tie was divided it resolved our problems and transformed breastfeeding for us.

@Ellax have just read the full thread. You are doing so brilliantly, I’m so sorry you’ve had it so tough and the support hasn’t been there for you.

That’s great about your supply improving. Do you have someone that could give the top ups while you pump?

It’s exhausting having a baby that doesn’t sleep and it does mean that they want to feed so much more! How is his sleep at night now?
I think at that age the sling was a game changer for me, then added a bouncy chair when DD was about 8 weeks so I could bounce it while I had breakfast. Feeding with her left side down helped (kind of like wonky winding) so cross cradle for right boob and rugby for left. I think that’s what I mean.
I hope it gets easier for you soon. Are there any online breastfeeding support groups near you? I spoke to a breastfeeding counsellor from NCT and all their support is free, you don’t need to be a member. I just googled my area. Having regular check ins with someone might be helpful.

Remember that whatever you decide it’s your decision that matters. Look after yourself too.

And also second about getting tongue tie checked again