Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breastfeeding advice please!

76 replies

Ellax · 30/09/2020 18:07

Hi I’m a ftm to a 2.5 week old. He’s had the odd few days of cluster feeding but today he wanted to feed for almost 5 hours straight to the point where it was becoming really painful and sore for me and he was becoming really frustrated because for the past couple hours I don’t think he was able to get much milk from me. I’m pretty sure he sucked me dry and when I tried to express with my hand hardly anything was coming out which I’m assuming is because he was on them for such a long time?

Ive just had to give him 120ml of formula to satisfy him and also to give me a break. Was I wrong to do this? Could I have a low supply which is why he was getting so frustrated towards the end of the breastfeed? Will I have made my supply worse by now having given him that bit of formula?

I go no more than 3 hours between feeds (rarwkt 3.5) and that’s only at night time. Am I leaving it to long??

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
drumst1ck · 02/10/2020 16:13

Sorry you're having a tough time!! My little one was like this. First month or so she wanted to feed constantly and would scream every time put down and only be soothed by boob. Try not to measure your supply by what you can get out either pumping or hand expressing. It's not an accurate measure as babies are so much better than us at getting milk out! As long as he is gaining weight then you shouldn't have any issues with supply.

As people have already said, keep drinking tons, lots of lanolin nipple cream, get a breastfeeding specialist to check your latch if possible and try not to worry too much. This all sounds totally normal for his age and although it's absolutely exhausting, it does get easier.

And there's absolutely nothing wrong with combination feeding if you feel like you need a break!!

Somethingvague · 02/10/2020 16:15

Has he been checked for tongue tie? Hours of feeding lime this can be a sign (sorry if this has been mentioned already and I missed it).

Betsyboo87 · 02/10/2020 16:22

Firstly, you’re doing amazing! Mine was exactly the same, it felt like constant feeding. I know how utterly exhausting it is. We gave him a bottle or two a day until 6/7 weeks just to give me a break. If didn’t harm his latch or my supply as I’ve been ebf since (now he refuses a bottle but that’s another thread!). I promise it gets much easier. Feeding becomes quicker and you’ll start to get a couple of hours break between feeds. DS is 3mo and now only takes 5-7mins to feed. He also did the grunting thing but he grew out of it at some point because he doesn’t do it anymore.

I think it’s worth getting someone to check your latch just to eliminate any issues. Sorry I’m not in the UK so can’t suggest anyone, I assume Le Leche league are there though so could be a starting point. As pp said, go to bed when he does. I’ve also been doing this the whole time and it’s not forever.

Original poster
Ellax · 02/10/2020 16:24

@boydy99

I’ve tried the LLL helpline and no one is available.

Called the local infant feeding team but they didn’t have space to fit me in their workshop. Tried calling to see if they can fit me in but no one answered.

Even tried calling the National breastfeeding helpline and no one is available to take my call.

Oh and I texted my community midwife earlier on today but she never got back to me.

None of my friends have babies and my mum is no help. Husband is at hand but seeing as all the baby wants is boob he can’t help much with the baby and I can’t bear to let him ‘cry it out’.

He’s finally fallen asleep on my but I’m too scared to put him down in case he wakes and just wants boob again. At this point I’d rather give my boobs a break then risk putting him down for some sleep even though I would do anything for some sleep right now

OP posts:
Original poster
Ellax · 02/10/2020 16:35

Thank you for all the advice everyone. Haven’t had any luck with any of the breastfeeding helplines so think I will try and get a breastfeeding specialist to come over and take a look at the latch and get some help feeding lying down as I’ve been finding that one impossible without him just latching onto the nipple

OP posts:
MsChatterbox · 02/10/2020 16:37

Are sure hes not just wanting to suck to sleep? My baby was the same so I gave her the dummy. I always offered boob first to make sure that she was eating enough but there came a point where it was clear to me she wasn't hungry she was just using me as a dummy. I would only suggest this if he's gaining weight though.

GenevaMaybe · 02/10/2020 16:41

He will be completely exhausted now, a lot of the crying and thrashing is just that they are beside themselves with overtiredness.
Try feeding until he is not quite asleep and then burping, swaddling and putting down for a nap. Rock or pat or drive or anything to get him to sleep off you and without feeding.
I would 100% get a LLL or IBCLC specialist to come in and assess your latch and transfer of milk.

boydy99 · 02/10/2020 16:46

even if you're not asleep, you will be resting by just sitting. its fab that he's gone off to sleep well done. another thing is when he's fussy but not actually feeding, give him to your husband to soothe and you have a lie down. he may also settle better if he cant smell milk. I would persist with the infant feeding team and be explicit that you need help and someone to assess the latch. sounds like you need a 1-1 assessment rather than a workshop. if you can afford it then a private consultant may be worth it. Flowers

FourPlasticRings · 02/10/2020 17:28

@Somethingvague

Has he been checked for tongue tie? Hours of feeding lime this can be a sign (sorry if this has been mentioned already and I missed it).
Yes, this too.

Also, join a Breastfeeding group on Facebook- I recommend Breastfeeding Younger Babies and beyond. They're very helpful.

Boriswentcamping · 02/10/2020 17:52

Try not to worry, sometimes the cluster feeding is also just a comfort thing. Your boobs won't be "empty" and they will catch up if you keep feeding. Breast feeding is supply and demand, and your milk supply will increase the more your baby feeds it's just that there is sometimes a bit of a delay which is frustrating. top up feeds with formula will make this catch up harder as it does break the cycle of supply and demand. It can be frustrating to begin with but hang in there - it does get easier :) I recommend ringing one of the breast feeding helplines if you are worried. I found the le Leche league one and also the breastfeeding network, soooo helpful as I had a very similar experience. It was really useful to be able to talk it through with somebody. Also found Kelly mom to be a great resource :)

Boriswentcamping · 02/10/2020 17:58

Also if you can't get through to the helplines, try joining one of the local lll face book groups, they are usually very quick to respond. Otherwise keep trying the helplines, they are run by mums and sometimes you just have to catch them at a good time :)

Ginfilledcats · 02/10/2020 18:11

Oh love I feel your pain. When my dd was that age I remember texting my friends who had babies describing the same situation you're on saying "this CANNOT be normal" frustratingly it is.

You're doing amazing and obviously responding to his needs beautifully. Stick a tv series on, I made it through Downton abbey in just a few days and say surrounded by delicious junk food to make it through. It's far easier if you just accept this is how it's going to be for a few days.

Re the sleep thing? Sleep cycles are about 20 - 40 mins at that age so if he's having short naps he must be waking after one cycle. Have you tried swaddling? White noise, shh and head strokes to get him back to sleep?

If he's at birth weight don't wake him to feed!

Take a deep breath, you got this

Hirewiredays · 02/10/2020 20:16

Get the silver nipple cups from amazon. Silver heals and they are amazing. Better than all that lanolin nipple cream business that does truely nothing!

Hirewiredays · 02/10/2020 20:18

You'll feel so much better when you have your first weigh in and see the weights gone on.

boydy99 · 02/10/2020 21:18

@Hirewiredays

Get the silver nipple cups from amazon. Silver heals and they are amazing. Better than all that lanolin nipple cream business that does truely nothing!
yes these are amazing!
TeddyIsaHe · 02/10/2020 21:24

@Hirewiredays

Get the silver nipple cups from amazon. Silver heals and they are amazing. Better than all that lanolin nipple cream business that does truely nothing!
Thirded! Whoever said nipple cream works needs to be shot
Original poster
Ellax · 05/10/2020 16:14

Baby won’t sleep or stop crying unless on my boob! Help anyone please ive been feeding him since 3am and the longest gap he’s given me is when he fell asleep for 20 minutes and then just starts screaming until he has boob again. What do I do please I need to sleep. Even if only one hour. Even tried cosleeping last night. Fed him lying down... he released when he was full. 5 mins later crying again

OP posts:
Sorbet18 · 05/10/2020 16:40

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. You are right, you need some sleep too! Hopefully the midwife or feeding specialist can visit you to check baby's latch, tongue & weight to see if there's anything that might be affecting his tongue tie.

My baby wouldn't settle after feeds & I started giving him formula after breastfeeds at night so he would sleep. This may reduce your supply though so you might not want to try it but it did allow me a few hours' sleep at a time. My baby's 12 weeks now & has one bottle of formula at bed (he currently sleeps 7/8 hours after this) and all the other feeds are breastfeeds. Without his formula before bed he doesn't go down at night otherwise 🙈 I also use one of the Love to Dream swaddles which seems to help him stop waking himself, might be worth a try to help your baby get used to his Moses basket.

boydy99 · 05/10/2020 17:32

can you ask your infant feeding team or midwife for an urgent assessment to check for tongue tie, latch and transfer of milk. if you can afford it then a private consultant. Will he settle with a dummy? Will he settle with anyone else?

GenevaMaybe · 05/10/2020 17:35

I would feed with formula at this point to ensure he is getting a full feed, then put him sleep any way you can for as long as possible. And in the morning have him weighed

FourPlasticRings · 05/10/2020 17:39

Have you tried winding him? They tell you breastfed babies don't need burping but this, in my experience, is a lie. Babies suckle as a comfort from pain as well as for food, so he may be in pain from trapped wind, cow's milk protein allergy or some other cause and just be using you to help him cope with it.

Original poster
Ellax · 06/10/2020 02:30

I had a private consultant come on Sunday and she said that he has a minor posterior tongue tie but that it may not be a problem as posterior ones aren’t as bad as anterior. She said it may mean that it takes him longer to get full. She recommended ‘switch feeding’ so that he’s getting more let downs and there’s more gulps and the boob which he isn’t on to put a silicone pump on to boost supply. She said do this for a week and it should sort it out. He finally fell asleep at around 5ish for 3/4 hours. Then when he was up again I fed him but then also gave him a small bottle of some of the Expressed milk I had collected from the silicone pump and he slept again for a few hours.

I’m not sure whether to just get the tongue tie sorted out. Don’t want to do it if it’s not going to make a difference but also don’t want to be struggling like this all week to then find out that actually he should get it done.

Have a midwife appointment tomorrow where they’ll weigh him. They’ve been happy with him weight gain so far. He was a small baby I’m not sure if perhaps that plays a roll in the constant feeding?

OP posts:
mrssunshinexxx · 06/10/2020 03:04

Op- you are doing an amazing job the first few weeks are very hard
Sounds to me like he is establishing your supply/ using you as a comfort
Would you consider using nipple shields and giving him a dummy?

Boriswentcamping · 06/10/2020 07:39

For what it's worth, my dd had a tongue tie but seemed to manage feeding ok with it, so I didn't take it any further. Not saying that you should do the same, but just that not all tongue ties need to be corrected. Maybe get a second opinion if unsure but there may be other things you do to work on latch. I think sometimes it takes a while to establish a supply, and for you and the baby to perfect a good latch, and things change as you go, sometimes you end up with too much milk! Your boobs will adapt to the demand but often there is a delay. It can be really worrying in the early days, but you sound like you are doing an amazing job. I found it got much easier as time went on. You are learning a new skill, be kind to yourself and keep asking for help when you need it :) did you find a lll group? They can be so helpful. I don't think they are meeting in person at the moment, my face book lll page were such a great support when I needed them as I didn't have one locally anyway x