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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

2nd time + mums - how did you find bf second/third etc time round?

36 replies

insywinsyspider · 23/09/2007 21:10

I bf ds with no problem - very proud of myself to ex bf till 7 mo and I only gave up because I wanted to get pg again
expecting no 2 and had assumed would be even easier than last time because I would have more idea about how to get started until 2nd time mum told me she had just given up feeding ds at 6 wks because it was so much more difficult - she bf ds1 till 8mo...

whats your experience? am I just being ambivilant or will it be ok? I'd never really thought about it but I couldn't imagine not bf this baby I really enjoyed it with ds.... I guess I just need some honest feedback as I don't know many bfeeding mums and those I do only have 1 dc

OP posts:
PillockOfTheCommunity · 23/09/2007 21:14

much, much easer than with ds1. with him I stopped around 10 weeks, ds2 is now 23 weeks and I'm still quite happily continuing

funnypeculiar · 23/09/2007 21:16

Sorry to tell you this, but I found dd (second) harder than ds (first) to start with. BUT knowing that I'd managed with ds, knowing how much I enjoyed it, and knowing I could do it meant that I kept going & everything settled down after about 3 weeks

unknownrebelbang · 23/09/2007 21:17

I had problems with DS2, (may have been due to the medication I was on during the pregnancy.) We persevered and managed to bf for over 12 months in the end.

DS3 was a doddle after the first few days.

morocco · 23/09/2007 21:18

ds2 was dead easy apart from taking forever to feed for the first month or so which was hard with ds1 needing attention but dd1 (my 3rd) was a really really hard first 3 weeks with horrendous cracked nips, mastitis, trouble with latch, awful. if i hadn't already managed fine with ds1 and ds2 I'm not sure I would have kept going. knowing that it would get easier was a big comfort to keep at it and now it's going great

LyraBelacqua · 23/09/2007 21:19

Much easier with DS2. Second time around I didn't have those painful few weeks in the beginning where it feels like your boobs are passing broken glass. I bf DS2 till he was 18 months (DS1 till 16 months).

DirtyGertiefromnumber30 · 23/09/2007 21:20

i found bf the second baby harder personally, just not so much time on my hands the second time around.

LyraBelacqua · 23/09/2007 21:22

Dirtygertie, I learned to cook/push a swing while (discreetly) bfing DS2

pooka · 23/09/2007 21:22

I actually found it both easier and harder, if that's possible!
Easier because I found that the tiredness associated with night feeds did not effect me so much. I was better able to cope with the sleepless nights. I was much more confident that ds was getting enough milk and didn't ever question myself as much. I was able to feed and multitask. felt like superwoman. Couldn't be bothered to express (as had dd on my case as well) and just went with the flow, so to speak.

Harder in that ds was much less amenable to feeding - i.e. with dd she never refused a feed, so if say we were going out I could just top her up a bit before we went and so could structure her feeds to suit me. With ds, he would only feed when he wanted to, on his terms! Also he was a real one for flailing around and generally wriggling. Plus he was a bit of a biter when teething. Ouch. He seemed to me to have a very hunter-gatherer approach to feeding - would hunt for it, would maul me and then would flail around a bit. Whereas dd would fall magically and charmingly asleep.

But fed both until they gave up of their own accords, at about 13 months. Think if had had ds first, would have found it a much harder introduction to breastfeeding.

TheBlonde · 23/09/2007 21:22

I found I was more confident about the whole process and about how to seek help
Still had latching issues and bad cracks but we got through it

fihi · 23/09/2007 21:27

DS1 made it easy for me to get started as he latched straight on and was a no-messing-about baby, just went for the boob and ate til he was full. Would have had probs with DS2 who hadn't got a clue, experience with number 1 gave me lots of confidence - and as some1 else said without boobs turning into boulders that first week like first time. DC3 was easiest of the lot but i'm sure i was more relaxed and really looked forward to feeding her.
Read books with older child / children when bf new one, took it as "our" time to relax so they didn't feel that the baby was a barrier / something to feel jealous of. DS2 used to nag me to feed DD cos he loved sitting cuddling up so much. Awww

fihi · 23/09/2007 21:29

pooka - LOL

Psychobabble · 23/09/2007 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DirtyGertiefromnumber30 · 23/09/2007 21:31

LyraBelacqua - good skills!

i suppose when i say i didnt have so much time on my hands, it was an excuse. The real deal was that i was so much more tired looking after two that the easy option was to give a bottle, i didnt have the energy to work through any bf issues like i did the first time round.

Loopymumsy · 23/09/2007 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Bodkin · 23/09/2007 21:44

I've found my let-down to be much more painful this time around. With DD1 it was like a light pins and needles tingle, with DD2 i have to suck in my breath a bit!

NoBiggy · 23/09/2007 21:48

As easy as first time I'd say. I'd sort of prepared myself to stop early as I had a toddler to look after too, but as long as DD1 had a drink handy and had been to the loo before I started we were all fine.

1 year + and still going!

lilolilmanchester · 23/09/2007 21:50

I found it much easier with DC2 and also took more control. DC1 was fed when, and only when, he wanted. He had just started school when DD was born. She had to fit into school run routine etc so I fed her/topped her up when it suited our routine - which I wouldn't have dreamt of first time. Of course, each baby is different and it might just be that those who fed successfully first but not 2nd time, just happened to have babies who were more difficult to feed 2nd time round. I still think you'll be more likely to persevere and therefore overcome any such issues 2nd time round. And having BF both mine, I just cannot bear the thought of having to make/heat up bottles in the middle of the night!

determination · 23/09/2007 22:28

i am still bfing dd2 and she is 6.5months, i have enjoyed it so much more this time and found it far easier. Theres 2.5 years between them.

Original poster
insywinsyspider · 24/09/2007 08:45

they'll be 19months between lo's so good to know it can be ok as I really don't want to be learning how to bottle feed (which seems to have changed agin!?!) and washing two sets of nappies!

now... any advice for keeping ds entertained whilst I feed? he's very active so book and a cuddle might not do it! if it was summer I could throw him out in the garden as he'll happily play on slider, rocker and in sandpit for ages, not such a good idea in dec

OP posts:
Lulushmulu · 24/09/2007 11:33

It's been easier in most respects but harder in that I sometimes have to break off feeds to attend to my 3 yr old, eg to pick her up from preschool or wipe her bottom after using the toilet. I leave her a drink and a healthy snack on the kitchen table so she can help herself (if I left biscuits out she would just stuff her face).

I haven't had much time to go to the clinic and have worried less about the baby's weight. In fact her weight gain did slow down without my noticing but she is back on track now (I think). With my 1st I would go to the clinic just for something to do, and would worry obsessively about her weight (both babies were small).

I now really enjoy those times when I can read a novel or go on mumsnet while feeding, rather than keep my 3 year old occupied. I now look on it as "me" time.

I can't nap during the day like I did with no.1 but have felt less tired because I coped with the night feeds better.

PrettyCandles · 24/09/2007 11:39

I struggled to established feeding wieth each child, and the only things that made it easier were the quality of support I had, and my own personal expectations (ie the less I expected of myself, the better I did - which was a lesson I had not learned with no1, but was wiser with no2).

That said, the actual bfing itself was easier with subsequent children. With no2 especially it was a very good cuddling-up time for all three of us as I could cuddle one child with each arm, and read to the older one as well.

If you have the confidence to feed anywhere and anyhow, then it's not a problem to slip a feed in when it's convenient, which also helps.

Elasticbandstand · 24/09/2007 11:40

well the first i couldnt get him to latch on properly, had a cracked nipple!

the next 2 no problems, just tired and less time!

Elsbells · 24/09/2007 11:46

Congrats. Are you due soon?

I have always found BF very hard - managed only 4m with DS and DD is now nearly 16 weeks and I gave her a last BF just 6 days ago.

I just had a different set of problems to deal with this time and with my DS throwing continuous tantrums for weeks it was hard to get through them. But I am glad I gaver her some BF and TBH I really wish I could have continued BF her longer.

If only DS was less of a handful I think I could have gotten through it better.

Good luck.

Jennster · 24/09/2007 12:05

Good luck Insy. There are 18 months between my two and I've found it very difficult. I have been very fortunate enough to be able to send dd to nursery full time for a few months to sort out getting bf established. I'm also finding it difficult not being able to sleep like I anticipated as ds doesn't sleep well during the day, but then he is so much bigger than dd, he is sleeping much longer at night as his tummy is so much bigger

Personally I've found it much easier to bf 2nd time. Knowing about positioning, latching etc meant I'm not worrying nearly so much as I was with dd. I must be doing ok though because ds has put on 5lb in his 8 weeks here!

jellybelly25 · 24/09/2007 12:05

harder.

2nd baby more fussy, a LOT hungrier, more responsibilities so less time to express so i can get away, more self conscious about feeding in public (not sure why, was never expecting to feel like that).

started mixed feeding at 4mo much earlier than with dd1 (6mo and only because i went to work), but still managing to mostly bf and i feel alot happier this way.

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