Breastfeeding help and advice!

[Aberforthsgoat]

My week and a bit old first DS is breastfeeding but I'm not convinced I;m getting it right.
He sometimes doesn't latch on properly so I have to take him off and readjust and he stop starts and sometimes comes off and sort of dozes, then gets frustrated and frenziedly trying to get back on.

He also cries and fusses when I'm trying to put him on initially and then quite happily feeds calmly.

I'm a bit worried he's not getting enough milk (I'm pretty sure it's come in, as it's usually all around his face when he's done, although I think one breast is still producing more yellowy liquid than the other?!) although we are getting wet and dirty nappies.

My main question is - is it normal that he is feeding a LOT? He's eight days old and last night fed from 10pm - 4.30pm with a few little grizzly and short snooze breaks in between.
The night before was similar, and he's had two feeds today already although the last one was really short.
Is this just establishing supply?

I had a bit of support in hospital but tbh the midwives all gave me contradictory advice and really stressed me out, shoving his face onto my breast while he was screaming and flailing and holding it there - I hated it. I almost gave up. But since I've been home in a more relaxed environment, it's become much easier - I just don't think I've quite cracked it yet and am feeling a bit stupid for not being able to tell if I'm doing it right.

He was three weeks early, so only tiny, and sometimes it looks like he can't actually open his mouth wide enough yet for a good latch.

Sorry this is rambling, very sleep deprived!

I think as long as you're getting wet nappies, it's all good. Things change from day to day at this stage and in another couple of weeks it'll seem a lot easier. Don't worry about 'cracking it', just keep on going and things will settle. Remember, it won't be like this for long. Are you able to co-sleep and feed lying down? I found this was a game changer for me.

Good luck!

It is so so normal to feel like you've not got enough milk but it's very rare that you actually don't! They feed constantly to let your body know that it needs to keep supplying milk and to get it all established. My DD3 would do exactly as you describe, often she had bad wind or was overtired. So lots of bouncing and shushing, she'd either burp and once calm I'd try her on the boob again or she'd fall asleep. Often if she was like this I'd give her to DH as i think it took her mind of milk as she couldn't smell it.

Absolutely normal for a baby that age to be feeding LOADS. It can feel relentless at the start, but hang in there if you can as it does get much easier. I found it really hard to begin with and like you I got lots of contradictory advice from midwives and health visitors which made it so much harder.

Also, try to get along to a breastfeeding cafe if you can - you'll get lots of help and support there. I know it's easier said than done, I found getting out of the house almost impossible in the early days.

We ended up paying for a lactation consultant to do a home visit as I was finding it so hard so that's an option too if you're struggling with latch. She happened to be affiliated with the La Leche League which has great Facebook groups for support and advice.

Congratulations on your new baby!
This sounds really normal to me.
My mum breastfed 7 kids and she would say it took time with every single one to re-learn how to do it, that both of you are learning with each other, it's a process and once I accepted that I felt less anxious about getting it 'right'.
If baby has wet and dirty nappies he's probably getting plenty.
It was about 6 to 8 weeks with each of mine before they really settled themselves into a feeding routine. Up until then there was a lot of cluster feeding- I spent hours on the couch with Netflix and a massive bottle of water as breastfeeding always made me really thirsty. Somewhere around 6 to 8 weeks they both got themselves in a routine where I could reliably predict e.g. feed every 2 hours or 3 hours. I did nothing to facilitate this, it just naturally happened.
I also had useless advice in hospital. I was lucky I had my mum with me for the first few weeks.
It is tough in those first weeks. But it really does get easier. My 16month old is heading to weaning himself now and I'm sad, I'm going to miss the bond it has given us so try and enjoy that while you can x

This all sounds really fine and normal.

If/when you feel up to getting out and about I would try and locate your nearest breastfeeding support group or groups. Here are some searches you can try:

NCT - postcode input to the right

ABM search engine

La Leche League

Baby Cafes

Lactation Consultant search - some of them run support groups, you might have to pay a small entry fee.

If you don't feel like getting out and about yet many of these organisations also have helplines you can ring with any questions. They should be more consistent than midwife advice - unfortunately midwife training on breastfeeding is very patchy.

If you're getting at least 6-7 wet or dirty nappies a day, and he's somewhat alert when awake between feeds he's getting enough milk. It's totally normal for them to basically only feed and sleep at this age. You might have a window of maybe 5-10 minutes when he's awake and not feeding. And sometimes it will be hours of sleep-feed-sleep-feed-doze-is he still feeding?-doze-feed-doze-sleep-feed. That's called cluster feeding and it's all part of establishing supply. It's a great excuse to watch loads of TV while ordering people to bring you more drinks and snacks :) If you need to sleep but he still needs to feed you can try lying down on your side facing him with him on his side facing you, then put your arm closest to the bed straight out in front of you as a barrier to the pillow, and your upper leg bent like in the recovery position. This way if you fall asleep feeding, you won't roll on him.

Normal to take a little bit to get latched on - you're both new at this so it is a bit tricky. You'll get better at it, in a few weeks you'll be able to do it without even looking or thinking. It's totally normal for it to still be unfamiliar and strange, it sounds like you're doing really well.

Thank you so much this is really reassuring

He is awake a bit between feeds but usually fussing and crying at the moment. I don’t think I’m very good at winding him!

Have a look at Global Health Media’s breastfeeding video (it will come up on Google)- they showed the video on our NCT classes and also at my hypnobirthing course and I feel it really helped me with the breastfeeding. It really explains all about the latch and what to look for.

Also if you are on Facebook, have a look for Lucy Webber Breastfeeding- she posts loads of great stuff which explains all about a baby’s behavior at the breast and why they do certain things! I’ve learnt loads of stuff from her.

Well done for carrying on with the breastfeeding despite the challenges- you’re doing so well! Keep it up!

Normal normal normal! Youre doing amazing!!! Feed feed feed!!! Its constant but normal. Its to build your supply up. Do not limit the feeds just keep going mama!

It’s normal. I thought my nipples would fall off DS was nursing so often at 1 week, but within 2-3 days both of us seemed to have gotten the hand of it and he started sleeping longer. Keep going and don’t believe anyone who tells you supplenenting with formula is a good idea (a lot of Old school midwives and health visitors recommend it to ‘prevent pnd’ which is bullshit).

I can’t believe how lovely everyone has been, thank you the positive comments are a real boost.

Breast feeding and his temp are the two things I’ve struggled with and I feel like I’m making a bit of headway now with it.

@GrumpyHoonMain I was pressured into using formula top ups in hospital as they terrified the life out of me saying I was going to dehydrate him and he would become lethargic and unresponsive - so much so that when he’s been zonked out from milk and sleepy most of the time I was originally panicking about it.

I really enjoy it, I just hope I can get better at positioning him, I don’t think I make him feel very secure so he gets a bit flail-y and upset but once he’s on he seems to feed well and has milk in his mouth and all the nappies so that seems good!

Newborns are flaily by nature. I doubt you're making him feel insecure. Just being in the world is a bit insecure for them because in the womb they had pressure from all sides, that's why things like swaddling, firm cuddles and rhythmic pats can help (feels like your heartbeat).

Swaddling can be useful for feeds if his arms are getting in between his mouth and your nipple. Alternatively pin his bottom arm between his body and yours to keep it out of the way and let him grasp your finger for the other arm. They're wired to grasp around anything you put in their hands, apparently it's a monkey reflex (to hold on!)

Are you doing OK without the top ups or are you still phasing them out? DS2 had to have top ups for a bit and struggled with his temperature regulation at first.

OP if it makes you feel better I'm on my second (similar age to yours) and I'm having all of the doubts.. He seems to do nothing but feed. It does get better!

Congratulations! I bet things are feeling surreal to you right now what with the newborn and it being that weird Christmas/new year period

Nappies are a great sign that he’s getting what he needs. If you’re concerned you should get him weighed or try and weigh him at home (no more than once a week or you won’t appreciate the differences). If he’s not gaining then there’s advice out there although I’d be inclined to use some of the resources you’ve been linked to on h thy is thread too.

I found YouTube of all places the most helpful - I could look up techniques and advice right when I needed to and actually credit it with a lot for getting to grips with BF’ing. Don’t persist with anything that’s not working for you because you don’t really need to when there’s loads of tips and techniques for latching; you don’t need to feel like a failure over something that won’t ever work for you and your baby.

Feet tickling is quite a good way to keep them awake on the breast if you want him to feed more

@BertieBotts I haven’t done a formula top up since Christmas Day but the temp thing is interesting - how did he struggle was he too hot/too cold?

Thank you for all the reassurance honestly I can’t express how much more confident it’s made
Me feel.

With nappies - we are getting regular nappies both dirty and wet but not the exact number all the guides say we should at this point, although I think I’m missing some so some are double if you see what I Mean (terrible mother!). I’m unsure how kind of strict you have to be in monitoring the nappies

It was only initially when in hospital. They had him in an incubator at first without clothes on. Then he graduated to clothing and a heated cot. He was allowed onto a normal ward then which was good, because I could stay with him. Basically though without being on the heat pad he was losing body heat because he couldn't stay regulated. I think lots of skin to skin helped with this, but he might have just got better at it on his own.

I think the nappies sound OK. I don't think I counted but they wanted me to change him every 4 hours so that's what I aimed to do. Once we got home I wasn't changing that often unless he had pooed, which he did quite a lot (my first less so).

Ahh he must have been teeny @bertiebotts thanks for reassurance about the nappies

Currently sitting on mumsnet while he feeds. I can see why people do give it up but am so glad I am persevering I just hope he’s put some weight back on at our next midwife appointment!

Sounds like you are doing fine. If at any stage you feel you are flagging (and anyone suggests topping him up with formula), I suggest you ask someone to make you a sandwich or something to top yourself up instead. I ate loads when breastfeeding, and it just seemed to boost my energy levels (and probably my milk supply too). My dh used to bring me plates of snacks to keep me going! Happy New Year!

If he’s flailing then laid back or biological breastfeeding positions might help. Word of warning that it seems to develop neck and shoulder muscles do baby will prob end up side (And tummy) sleeping and scaring the life out of you!

He already seems to have a preference for side - he had breech frogs legs so the momentum from his leg position means he can actually flop onto one side even though it’s not a roll if you see what I mean although thankfully they are straightening out now so he’s not doing it as much

I will look up those positions thank you

And I’ve stocked up on snacks - I really lost my appetite this past week since he was born and haven’t been eating enough so I’m really trying hard to make sure I have platters of snacks as I felt so drained in the early hours of this morning

Happy New Years everyone and again thanks so much to everyone who has taken the time to post

He was actually full term so not particularly small. They never really worked out why he struggled at the beginning. Possibly inhaled some meconium by mistake as he had fluid in his lungs. Oh well. It doesn't seem to matter now :)

Glad he’s okay now and thanks for all the advice. I think his feeding may have slowed a little bit tonight as he’s been down in the basket for a little bit longer each time inbetween so we will see how it goes!

Having another rough night 😫
Ds has been feeding since 9pm with only tiny breaks in between. Most times when I put him down he’s fussing and squirming and grizzling and chewing on his hands until I pick him up and feed him again. I am so tired!

He’s also had two yellow runny nappies (not seedy but like a non creamy curry sauce) which sounded quite explosive so I was wondering if he’s got an upset stomach maybe it’s something I’ve eaten that hasn’t agreed with him :(

I’m close to giving up tonight I think. It’s just relentless and I’m so tired
Maybe I need to express

Hope you’ve managed to get some rest Aberwforthsgoat.

Your ds does sound unsettled and you might find you’ve eaten doesn’t particularly agree with him, dairy and onions are the usual suspects I think if you want to try cutting them down/out but it may just be a blip. Explosive nappies were dd’s speciality and normal for her; leg cycling and tummy massage seemed to help move any trapped wind etc.

Unsettled nights are particularly hard with a BF baby since there’s no one to hand them off to and I always felt extra invaded (for want of a better word) because it involved my body so intensely.

Do try expressing, I never got on with it, but it’s worth looking into nipple confusion and preparing yourself should things not work the way you want. Consider syringe feeding (like the ones you get with calpol) or even cup feeding if you’re confident with it.

Tbh though it sounds like he was after comfort as much as milk, would you consider a dummy? He would probably still need help keeping it in his mouth but at least it would give your boobs a break and open up the option for someone else to comfort him.

You’re doing a great job - it’s hard going at first but I promise it all gets easier and you find your way. It sounds unbelievable when you’re living it but it really does move on from this stage