Breastfeeding help and advice!

[Aberforthsgoat]

My week and a bit old first DS is breastfeeding but I'm not convinced I;m getting it right.
He sometimes doesn't latch on properly so I have to take him off and readjust and he stop starts and sometimes comes off and sort of dozes, then gets frustrated and frenziedly trying to get back on.

He also cries and fusses when I'm trying to put him on initially and then quite happily feeds calmly.

I'm a bit worried he's not getting enough milk (I'm pretty sure it's come in, as it's usually all around his face when he's done, although I think one breast is still producing more yellowy liquid than the other?!) although we are getting wet and dirty nappies.

My main question is - is it normal that he is feeding a LOT? He's eight days old and last night fed from 10pm - 4.30pm with a few little grizzly and short snooze breaks in between.
The night before was similar, and he's had two feeds today already although the last one was really short.
Is this just establishing supply?

I had a bit of support in hospital but tbh the midwives all gave me contradictory advice and really stressed me out, shoving his face onto my breast while he was screaming and flailing and holding it there - I hated it. I almost gave up. But since I've been home in a more relaxed environment, it's become much easier - I just don't think I've quite cracked it yet and am feeling a bit stupid for not being able to tell if I'm doing it right.

He was three weeks early, so only tiny, and sometimes it looks like he can't actually open his mouth wide enough yet for a good latch.

Sorry this is rambling, very sleep deprived!

Tough day today he got weighed again after being weighed Thursday and hasn’t put on any weight despite all the feeding, he’s exactly the same. They scared me, saying that if he doesn’t gain his weight back by next Tuesday we will have to go to the gp and that I have to do formula top ups during the day now because he has an ever so slightly fontanelle so is a bit dehydrated.
I feel like a bit of a bf failure.

He seems fine apart from that, and the being unsettled at night - he’s nocturnal so is awake at night and asleep during the day but still wakes for feeds and is alert not floppy.
Still getting lots of dirty nappies (although hard to tell if they are wet as well but today he has wet the changing mat, his suit and my husband as well as having a wet nappy and multiple dirty ones).

I just feel gutted and like I’ve failed him - I’m so worried he won’t have gained anything by next week as well.

Sorry, just needed to get it out.

Can you go and see a lactation consultant? Health visitors aren't specialists and some are obsessed with the numbers rather than the baby. Some will automatically resort to formula 'top ups' because it is the easiest option.

I had similar with my first but I completely ignored them. I carried on breastfeeding until he was 4. He's 5 now and has suffered no Ill effects from me refusing formula top ups!

I think I’m going to. Everyone I’ve seen says he has a good latch and he has milk all over his face when he’s done so I know I’m producing it.

I’m just worried there’s something wrong with him and he’s not absorbing what he’s getting.
He’s taking the formula top ups but he seems to be spitting up more with them, I’m not sure if that’s just common with formula.
I naively hadn’t expected feeding to be so stressful

Could be cow's milk protein but health professionals are quite reluctant to suggest this as it is quite daunting to give up dairy and they like to investigate other things first (which is fair) if you feel up to it you could try going dairy free sooner rather than later.

At this age they can have a massive difference in weight depending on when they last did a poo! So try not to get too fixated on the numbers. You are looking at the overall trend and this is going up.

Thank you Bertie I burst into tears after they left because I just felt so awful and he’s so tiny because he was born at 37+3 so he can’t afford to lose weight Really. He started at 2640g, went down to 2470g and then went back up to 2540g by last Thursday and has stayed there. But he has been doing a lot of pooing and hadn’t had a feed for a little while when they came so I don’t know if that makes any difference.

I now feel like I’m second guessing myself all over again and feel incredibly anxious Incase there’s something wrong with him and that’s why he’s not gaining weight.

I might have to see someone for my anxiety against its all linked to a previous 20 week loss and I can feel the anxious behaviours creeping in again.

Wondered if anyone has any advice - since doing formula top ups today he’s MUCH more settled, and I’ve just bf him for fifteen minutes and he’s gone straight down to sleep.
This is really unusual as normally he would be either in discomfort and wanting to feed immediately or Awake again and rooting, cluster feeding.
I’m wondering if the cluster feeding and distress was because he was hungry and not getting enough... but I’m also worried he’s not going to be waking up enough to feed now.
Should I wake him every three hours to bf him? Im worried my supply is going to stop if he’s not feeding as regularly, if he’s full from formula.

They’ve recommended 30ml if formula with every day time feed until midnight and then breastfeeding as usual over night

The three things that are important concerning supply are to keep the milk flowing - make sure you're putting him to the breast regularly (every feed), keep the baby fed (formula if necessary - he won't feed well if his blood sugar is low) and keep the baby close so lots and lots of skin to skin. Go to bed together if you like. And get some further investigation re the tongue tie urgently. I would wake him if he hasn't woken after 4 hours (some say 3 in the day to try and help with the day/night confusion) but would let him sleep otherwise.

You are doing so well. Don't worry about topping up, it can be temporary. Sounds like they want to give him a boost and you a bit of help just in the short term. Do you know about paced feeding? That is what I did for formula top ups and it helped me feel in control of it and not like I was potentially overfeeding DS or filling him up artificially. I will go and find a post where I explained how I did the top up feeds in a sec. Defo use my links at the start of the thread to find some more specific BF expert help if that is what you want to do.

Oh I've just seen you've done a new thread :) Great stuff, hope there are some helpful replies on there as I was a bit worried I was too late on this one.

Here's the other recent thread where I explained how I dealt with top ups when DS2 was tiny.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding/3782471-Low-milk-supply-baby-is-losing-weight-Any-advice-or-similar-experiences?msgid=92736515

Thank you Bertie - yes I thought it might be easier to keep them separate. Thanks so much for all your advice it’s been really helpful. I feel like the formula top ups have thrown him out a bit as he’s definitely more sick since we introduced them but I will see how we go for the next few days.

I’ll check out that thread you’ve linked to thank you

@BertieBotts do you think it’s a concern if I can express 90ml from one breast... and yet he’s not gaining weight when he was solely on the breast? It’s making me wonder if there’s some kind of underlying issue with him.