Breastfeeding help and advice!

[Aberforthsgoat]

My week and a bit old first DS is breastfeeding but I'm not convinced I;m getting it right.
He sometimes doesn't latch on properly so I have to take him off and readjust and he stop starts and sometimes comes off and sort of dozes, then gets frustrated and frenziedly trying to get back on.

He also cries and fusses when I'm trying to put him on initially and then quite happily feeds calmly.

I'm a bit worried he's not getting enough milk (I'm pretty sure it's come in, as it's usually all around his face when he's done, although I think one breast is still producing more yellowy liquid than the other?!) although we are getting wet and dirty nappies.

My main question is - is it normal that he is feeding a LOT? He's eight days old and last night fed from 10pm - 4.30pm with a few little grizzly and short snooze breaks in between.
The night before was similar, and he's had two feeds today already although the last one was really short.
Is this just establishing supply?

I had a bit of support in hospital but tbh the midwives all gave me contradictory advice and really stressed me out, shoving his face onto my breast while he was screaming and flailing and holding it there - I hated it. I almost gave up. But since I've been home in a more relaxed environment, it's become much easier - I just don't think I've quite cracked it yet and am feeling a bit stupid for not being able to tell if I'm doing it right.

He was three weeks early, so only tiny, and sometimes it looks like he can't actually open his mouth wide enough yet for a good latch.

Sorry this is rambling, very sleep deprived!

All sounds very normal. Night time cluster feeding is upping your milk supply for growth spurts. Breastfed babies can have pretty explosive poops, especially if they have a windy tummy. It doesn't mean that it is anything you have eaten or an upset tummy.

Can you get along to a breastfeeding group for some reassurance? I found them invaluable in the early days.

Thank you, it seems better in the light of day.
I realised DH made lasagne with a little chilli last night so I suspect that was what was causing his discomfort :( as well as just wanting cuddles.
He did go down at 5am in the end til about 9 so I got some sleep, I think he’s just on a bit of a nocturnal cycle at the moment.

I’ve got the midwife out today so I’ll speak to her and I’m going to a breastfeeding group next week so hopefully that will help - I was wondering if he’s got an ineffective latch as well, although when he comes off I can see milk in his mouth so he is definitely getting it, and I’m getting a lot of nappies overnight when he’s in the real feeding frenzy.

Silly question but how do I tell if the fontanelle is sunken? It doesn’t seem like he has any dips in his head although newborns do seem to have bumpy little bonces!

A sunken fontanelle is really obvious. My first child was admitted twice with dehydration and the sunken bit was horrid. Felt like a great big crater in his head.

If you haven't discovered them already kellymom website and dr Sears are great places for research based information and support.

I feel your pain and exhaustion. Am currently feeding my 8 week old and she has a severe posterior tongue tie. Waiting to get it snipped but there is a bit of a delay thanks to bloody christmas! Keep having to remind myself that it does get better.

It might not be an ineffective latch as much as his mouth will be so small. Growth helps with making everything more comfortable and efficient. You probably will see more fussing while feeding from a bf baby than a formula fed one because the flow isn’t consistent. They can get a bit frustrated when the let down eases off and they have to work a bit more to get their fill.

I remember reading that the cluster feeding isn’t all about their hunger right now but to think of it as them putting their order in for the next day. Your body will respond to all the feeding by upping its milk production. You can eat/drink things to help up your production. Easily obtainable ones are fennel tea and oats (if your a lard arse like me go for flapjacks that are easy to grab and demolish )

Hope your midwife visit goes well.

Thank you both.
Midwife wasn’t concerned at all, happy with his progress although he hasn’t regained his birth weight yet, he’s 155g off. She’s coming back Sunday but really didn’t seem that bothered, she said this last few days of cluster feeding were probably signalling his coming growth spurt. He’s put on 70g and I’m a bit gutted as I’ve been feeding SO MUCH but I’m just going to trust that come Sunday it will have gone up a bit more and if not I’ll seek breast feeding support to make sure there are no issues I’m missing.

I haven’t been eating much as my appetite has really gone so I’m wondering if that’s not helping either - going to force myself to eat more from now on.

Sounds like you are doing well.

The milk in the mouth thing is just because they take a suck and then come off. That’s normal at this age.

How old is your baby now?

10 days old, I feel like I’ve failed him a bit as he hasn’t regained the weight he lost

You haven't failed at all!

Please make sure you are eating and drinking plenty. Your body needs the extra calories and hydration to produce the milk.

I’m definitely going to make sure I eat more

Honestly you definitely haven’t failed at all! He is putting on weight and the midwife is happy. Did you have any IVs during labour? Some babies are slower to gain weight just because they are. Make sure you also drink lots. Sleep when you can.

You're doing a fab job!! Don't worry, it will all fall into place soon! 😊 I'm on MN while I feed my one month old.

Just a couple of things that have helped me.
If baby's getting really fussy, I've found stopping and winding helps. Baby's happy to latch and feed post burp.

A midwife told me that we should be eating 9/10 times a day- practically every time baby feeds including overnight. It helps with your supply. And to try and eat fats, as that helps with your milk having more calories which helps baby stay satisfied for longer (longer sleep!). Milk that's skimmed vs full fat was her analogy!

When I first started feeding at the hospital my nipples were cracked and the pain was atrocious. I saw a lactation consultant and that changed my breastfeeding journey! She showed me a technique called 'laid back' breastfeeding which utilises the fact that babies have an innate sense of how to 'crawl' to your nipple and latch on their own. YouTube will definitely have videos. I eventually learnt to feed just sitting up normally- completely pain free! So would definitely recommend some IRL help- it makes a huge difference.

Best of luck with it all, and keep up the great work!!

It’s sounds positive though - everything is heading the right way. You haven’t failed him - even if he’d lost weight you wouldn’t be failing him it would just be a sign that both of you needed support to find out why and that’s absolutely fine. It’s not an exact science.

Your diet and hydration will definitely have an impact so I think you’re sensible concentrating on that if you’re able to. I remember being famished when bfing really took off (as well as a couple of occasions leaks caught me completely off guard because, like you, I wasn’t sure how much I was actually producing) definitely a correlation.

I’ve heard mothers who are separated from their babies are advised to look at photos of them whilst pumping because it helps milk production. Maybe it’s worth having a look through your photos while your feeding (especially if it’s a stressful feed) to help you focus on him in situations that aren’t stressful.

DD3 was slower to regain weight than my others, think it took 2 weeks. Midwife not concerned as she looked healthy and alert with plenty of wet and dirty nappies.

Thank you for the tips I really appreciate them.

When you say baby is alert - he’s alert when he wakes, and definitely during nappy changes when he’s not zonked from milk. But he does tend to be mainly asleep during the day (I suppose not surprising since he’s up all night!). He cries when he’s been stripped for weighing or nappy changing or being dressed and when he’s properly awake he really looks around, so I’m guessing that would all count as being alert despite being in a milk coma for most of the day?

Yes, exactly that! I think if they're not doing well they can be quite sleepy and not really come to even when having their nappy changed. DD3 is 9 weeks now and still sleeps a lot, especially if we're out and about. I remember being where you are and DH even mentioned stopping bf due to the slow weight gain. It was tough but we've definitely come out the other side now.

Thanks @ruralcat
The cluster feeding has only just started tonight so I managed to get a few hours sleep this evening which I’m hoping will carry me through

Okay just giving myself a pep talk. He’s been in his basket for fifteen minutes and is stirring again for a feed.
I can do this.

I'm up with you too! You've got this!

Thanks @ruralcat hope you get some sleep!

Does anyone else find their baby breathes quite fast after feeding? He then tends to fall asleep and it goes back to deep sleep breathing

Sounds like you're doing brilliantly OP :) my little one is 20 days old today - he's my second so I'm finding it much easier this time now that I know what's normal and having a bit more confidence that I know what I'm doing. Had hoped it wouldn't be quite so painful this time but alas! It does get better though, and already I'm finding it far more comfortable than I was a week ago. With my first I remember bursting into tears every time she started rooting, so I totally sympathise!

I assume the midwife has told you this, but they generally look for them to be back at their birth weight by 2 weeks. He's gaining, which is the most important thing, so you should be proud of yourself :) breastfed babies can be a bit slower to gain weight as well.

Thank you @Spam88 I have another appointment this week for him to be weighed so I am really hoping he’s gained again.
I think he’s got bad wind or silent reflux as he’s really not settling after feeds now and seems to be in a bit of discomfortz
He’ also gets a slight grey tinge around his mouth which midwife said is likely wind (have attached picture) but I can never seem to get him to burp!

If he’s windy, it’s possible he’s not quite latched as well as he could be as he might be swallowing air. Everything else sounds really normal and reassuring though.

My DD is 5 now but it's all sounding normal to me. Sorry if it's been mentioned already but I found kellymom a brilliant resource when I breastfed. Lots of fact-based information on breastfeeding on there.

kellymom.com/

My appetite wasn't great either but I ate a lot of cereal bars, and most importantly (I think), I drank a lot of water. I kept a bottle with me at all times. I was really thirsty so I think I needed it. I never really worried about my dd's weight, as long as she was looking healthy and alert and producing lots of wet nappies etc. She did gain slowly and was on the lower end of the charts, but that's normal for ebf babies I believe. I took her to the clinic for the weigh ins and her weight was never flagged as a concern.

One thing we used to do if she seemed windy was to lay her on her back and do "bicycle legs" if you know what I mean.

DD3 is really sicky, even if she does a really good burp. I had her tongue tie cut with the hope of improving that but it doesn't seem to of helped much. I think I just have to accept the million outfit changes a day. Have you been assessed for tongue tie?

No they did mention he might have one in the hospital before he left but then nothing came
Of it. I’ll mention it tomorrow.
The grey tinge happens when he’s lying down usually a little bt after a feed so wind would
Make sense.

He’s quite unsettled again tonight already :(