Shares in my soul if you can help- breastfeeding will be the end of me

[ShowOfHands]

7wk old dd is draining my life force. She is exclusively breastfed and is officially the hungriest baby in the world. She does not stop. I am not exaggerating. We can perhaps manage 20 minutes of smiles and alertness before she is demanding to feed again. Add to this that she doesn't sleep at all during the day and I feel a lot like I'm swimming uphill through blancmange. I thought it would get better at 6wks but it's getting worse. She did at least manage to sleep at night for 4 hours at a time but she hit 6wks and decided that she needed feeding every 1.5/2hrs overnight.

I had an emergency cs after a difficult labour and am still quite anaemic and have very low blood pressure. Also have flu at the moment. Have slept 2hrs in the last 36. DH works very, very long hours so have no help, no family nearby.

I have tried stretching out feeds, she will not have it. I jig her, sing to her, rock her, put her down, put her in the sling etc and she screams and roots. She is not comfort sucking. Weight gain is extraordinary. She is happy, alert, very smiley and absolutely beautiful but I am going to flush my head down the toilet.

Please please please help. Or at least tell me when it gets easier.

SoH, am in a rush right now but there's great advice on here

If her head was twisted (and with that rather traumatic birth as well), I REALLY think that cranial osteopathy is worth a try - it did a lot of good with DD who got distressed & twisted up at birth.

and that birth experience and the hospital - hideous. Do please keep an eye on yourself - I am worried you will fret yourself silly and/or end up with PND. It does sound like a debreifing session of some sort/support may be neccessary at some stage for you, a horrid birth experience followed by the hospital trying to cover their arses is Not Good.

keep posting. And I really, really hope it gets better for you soon. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse with DD it did....but then it did get better. hang in there. it's crap I know but just do whatever it takes to get through the days/nights

And I second white noise - DD used to sleep with an old TV not tuned in - it looked v.surreal seeing a baby sleeping with a ghostly hissing box in the corner of the room (it was covered with a throw to block out the light) but it did help, as will radios, washing machines, hair dryers, fans etc.

SOH, sorry to read that post about the birth plan that all went awry - but that was not in anyway a failure on your part.........am so about those aspects of your medical care which are horrifying.

I understand where you are coming from, and your dd is such a lucky little girl to have you as her Mummy.

Be kind to yourself and don't put extra unnecessary pressure on, take one day at a time. It sounds like you have a cracking milk supply - if your dd was getting too much foremilk as some have wondered about, her dirty nappies would be greeny in colour and you would probably have mentioned colic or wind, which unless I have missed something you haven't.

You are doing a great job. Hang on in there, it will get easier and when you feel a bit better physically, it makes coping that much easier.

Take care.

Oh no she doesn't have colic, rarely has wind. She's extremely happy when feeding and just afterwards and only ever cries for food. I don't think it's a supply/latch issue or a fore/hindmilk one either. I think I gave birth to a wee gannet.

She loves white noise almost as much as Supertramp but unfortunately we co-sleep and DH once saw a horror film with scary ghosts talking through the white noise and can't have it on. Fortunately he likes Supertramp.

SOH am not a breastfeeding expert but I too have a very hungry baby of 7 weeks (DS1 was just the same).
Hve just found this article via kellymom -
www.lalecheleague.org/NB/LVSepOct95p69aNB.html
which suggests feeding from one side per feed. This way the baby gets more hindmilk per feed and as a result feeds less often. It also helps regulate the mothers milk supply. I have v fast let down and lots of milk/leaking so am going to try it out.
It isnt necessarily that your DD is getting too much foremilk but she might be bit low on hindmilk.
HAve to say I found the first three months hard with DS1 but he yelled a lot as well as fed masses.
Try the white noise/dummy/dispoables and also if you like reading have a look at Baby Bliss by Harvey Karp, lots of good, sensitive advice.
You are not alone!!!!

SOH, sorry I can't read the whole thread now, but for me things didn't start to improve until after 7wks (and we gave ds a dummy at bedtime - he gave it up himself at 3mo though)

My ds only ever wanted to feed though, other things rarely settled him. It is a hard time but it will pass. Sorry if it's already been said but can you feed lying down (for you to rest even if not to sleep?)

Ok, just skimmed thread, do not worry about reusable nappies yet! I didn't get started with it until ds was 10mo! Seriously you are doing a fab job.

Hi

Very very similar experience to you birth wise and feeding wise. Those feelings do get better with time. My baby is 18 months now. Stopped feeding at 1. Outlaws a pain constantly on at me give him the bottle, whispering behind me, all in the past now. I gave a dummy at 8 weeks. Again, like someone said hold it for them, keep them snuggled to you at first so they like the dummy. I hated the idea, and didnt want it to mess with feeding, but it was my husband who persisted with it and so I listened to him...and he was right! It's a great help (just stop it when you're ready the baby will go with it once that suckling need has gone). I also agree about just feeding from one side at each feed. Or if you run out then start on the other but just for a short time. The next feed make sure you start with that one. This really helps get the hindmilk and gives you an idea of how long you can stretch the feeds. That's not to say there weren't times I would feed both sides and then start on the original side again in one feed! I never expressed like you say you cant fit it in with a hungry feeder! The other thing I would say is every day no matter what weather, how tired- go for a 10 minute walk with the pram to avoid feeling down. Do your food shop on the net, get the father to batch cook and freeze a load of meals, each night ask him to make you some sandwiches and a fruit smoothie in the fridge, eat those when you are feeding so that all the rest of the time you SLEEEP. Forget the wedding, forget the camping. Finally my motto was "I'm doing it, I'm doing it" As in I can't cope. I can't do it, this feeding is a nightmare, I can't get the nappy on, I can't get out of the house for my doctor's appointment, I just kept saying 'i'm doing it' because you're in the thick of it and even though you feel like a jabbering mess YOU'RE DOING IT. You ARE a breastfeeder, you ARE a great mother, you ARE a great person, you ARE a lovely friend and you ARE a loving partner, and you ARE growing the baby and creating lifelong memories that will ease the original horrible first day that went wrong...you're doing it all and when you have an 18 month old and look back you stop saying I'm doing it and say.....wow...i DID it!!!

PS Meant to say if you're anything like me, it gets easier at 12 weeks (ish!) in that the feeds start to space out and some sort of routine gets going. Infact, with a bonny baby like mine and sounds like yours to, he was sleeping through the night (12-6) not much after that after being the feeder from hell. Oooh I don't miss those soggy morning bras, but I do miss breastfeeding. So cute!! Keep going...

Don't go to the wedding, what is more important what the relatives think, or the health and happiness of not only you but your beautiful amazing new baby.

Well done with persisting this far, it does get better and the feeling of pride you will have for sustaining your baby with your wonderful milk is priceless.

SOH what part of the country do you live in? When I read threads like this, I often think - that person could be half a mile down the road and I could pop in and hoover! I'm in Kent and I hate doing my own housework, but love doing other people's!

You didn't let her down at the beginning. Th C section saved her life. Birth and children are about compromise and not perfection. You did your best and the hospital saved her life and may be things weren't done ideally and they certainly shouldn't lie in the notes, but it's done and now you're home and it will get better.

I suppose I'm not supposed to say this but sometimes it's easier to get back to work so you have that defined break in the day. Worked very well for me and I could still express at work and feed around the other times.

Sorry I have not had time to read all the posts but I just wanted to add my support as well YOU ARE DOING AN AMAZING JOB!!!! Whatever you do to get through the day is OK, I was in your boat 3 months ago and i have to say from about 8 weeks on it got easier and easier. I did get family to give ds the odd bottle of formula when i just could not face yet another feed and he is fine, he is still fully breast fed at months and it is really really easier now. I can remember he used to feed constantly from 9pm to 3am without a break and it was just his way of getting my milk supply going I also ate an extraordinary amount of shortbread (v high fat) which helped with energy as well.

He now has about 6-8 feeds in 24hrs of a max 5-10mins each.

I could not imagine the feeding ever getting better but it does in the end I made the lounge my 'nest' and watch all our DVDs including entire season of murder one (if anyone remebers that one) in 2 days!!!! I also did introduce a dummy for the times I felt he was comfort sucking to give the old nips a break and he did take to it after a while.

So ignore everyone who says you are making a rod for your own back (I had that constantly from parents) your baby has no concept of manipulation at this age. hang the housework and tell anyone not supportive of what you want to do the clear off.

loosh.

Not sure if anyone has suggested it but swaddling can really help settle a newborn to sleep, sometimes its the only thing which works with DS2 (other than feeding him to sleep).
As they cant flail around it seems to soothe them off to sleep and they tend to sleep for longer. And as R2G said I also found it got easier after 12 weeks. If you read the Baby Bliss book he has a theory that babies are born one trimester too early which makes for babies who are hungry/grouchy/unsettled etc. SO byu that theory after 12 weeks things should improve.
Also agree with MrsB to try and get help from local childcare students, have heard of a few people who have found this really helpful and its free too. Sure the distance thing is feasible, sure some will have transport.

Go back to work!!! Poor SOH is recovering from major surgery, she is anaemic and her baby is only 7 weeks old, i think work is the last thing she needs. What she needs is a bunch of supportive women to pull in and give her a break which is sounds like she has a couple ie the lovely lady who sent the meals. But as you said you are a little isolated. Ask your health visitor for information on your local breastfeeding counsellor, they are mostly quite helpful and might be able to sort out some help.

Good morning all.

Aherm... too many lemsips I think.

Thank you all for your sage advice. I'm fairly pleased to discover that what was actually muddling through has evolved into accidentally finding ways of feeding that are recommended by people with letters before and after their names. I learnt fairly early on that dd was more settled if I only fed from one side per feed and swaddling was a Godsend at first, although now if you try and restrict her arms she turns into a wailing banshee and vomits maliciously on things until you set her free.

I shouldn't complain- yesterday was a bit of a lowpoint I'm afraid. I tell myself every day, sometimes twice a day, sometimes hourly that at the very worst she just loves her mum and needs to be close by. I can't tell you how many times I repeat 'just this feed' to myself throughout the day and before I know it I've done another day or another week. I'm hoping this gets me to 6 months.

I am very fortunate. Although DH works such stupid hours he always leaves food by the bed before he goes to work and today I am armed with sandwiches, smoothies, french fancies and a miniature rose which I don't think he expects me to eat. He also does most of the laundry, hoovering, dusting, emptying bins and overnight nappy changes and settling. He's a truly wonderful and very supportive man but I need to feel better to take some of the pressure off him.

Today's DVD boxset is dinnerladies and I have Dirty Dancing on standby.

Have saved the best till last...

...she slept for 5 hours last night and then another 3. What the heck, she's fed constantly since but I've had sleep and can even remember my own name after a few minutes of pained brain ache.

And I am by the phone....................

Good to hear from you. You're doing well!

Amazing what a single good night does!

Am of your dvd boxsets. I seem to have been reduced to watching Jimbo and the Jetset on you tube. Ds likes it though

Wasn't there a Jimbo cartoon when I was young? A talking plane I think... maybe I dreamt it.

I found myself stranded the other day with the remote out of reach and children's TV came on. Have discovered the best and worst of programmes in one sitting. Lazytown. WTF? And Raven. Wonderful, reminiscent of Knightmare (which shh, was on ITV and I only watched when my parents were out of earshot. ITV was the work of the devil).

Tomorrow is Pride and Prejudice- BBC adaptation, Tuesday is The West Wing, Wednesday is Lord of the Rings, Thursday is Eddie Izzard, Friday is Friends. Or if I'm very good I might leave the house at some point.

That is exactly the Jimbo you are thinking of! Hit you tube for it, it is ace

Love P&P, am an early BBC adaptation though, Elizabeth Garvie and David Rintoul are what I was brought up on. Lord of the Rings, Mmmmm Aragorn.... Friends just makes me cringe though. I have all of Red Dwarf and most of Black Adder, need to get more episode type things though, can't cope with a full film before bed!

(Have replied to e mail BTW)

Did Red Dwarf last week. Have never watched Blackadder but always mean to. I'll fight you to the death for Aragorn, although I may fall asleep mid-fight. Can't wait for the new HP to come out although I presume it's going to be epic and therefore can't prop it up on suckling dd...

Jimbo on You Tube? Wonder if Simon and the Witch is on there too...

Swaddling worked a bit for us too even with the most colicky one. By the way even at 22 years she still has insomnia and often sleeps badly as if how she was at 7 weeks she still is now.

you are a mummy hero and don't forget it.
lying in the notes is a strike-off-able offence. if anyone let your baby down it certainly wasn't you - did you organise for her to have a twisted head? thought not.
my ds1 was just like yours and I was on my knees by 9 weeks as he never slept for more than 20 mins at a time. IT GOT BETTER (about 12 weeks) and he grew merrily on breastmilk till 6 months+
lots of love and wish you had different in-laws: of course you don't "insist on feeding all the time" - load of nonsense

SOH, just watched the HP trailer OMG!!! Anyway was checking the length of the film and it says 138minutes so thats aboyut 2hrs 20mins i think.... I have been trying to think of how i can see it with or without ella.... must see it cannot wait until its on dvd.

Xenia, don't say that, my DS is going to be an adult who falls asleep on the sofa at 8, then wakes regularly through the night for a grouch.
Oh, just like his Dad then

Darn it, between you, fmv and me there will be a mass battle for Aragorn! Also looking forward to 21st July, trouble is I'm at a wedding so I have to put a battle plan into operation to make sure I read it before the service starts.

April- To see the film, find an Odeon cinema. They do parent and child viewings of films where you are welcome to turn up with a small baby.

Thanks Indith will try and locate my nearest