Shares in my soul if you can help- breastfeeding will be the end of me

[ShowOfHands]

7wk old dd is draining my life force. She is exclusively breastfed and is officially the hungriest baby in the world. She does not stop. I am not exaggerating. We can perhaps manage 20 minutes of smiles and alertness before she is demanding to feed again. Add to this that she doesn't sleep at all during the day and I feel a lot like I'm swimming uphill through blancmange. I thought it would get better at 6wks but it's getting worse. She did at least manage to sleep at night for 4 hours at a time but she hit 6wks and decided that she needed feeding every 1.5/2hrs overnight.

I had an emergency cs after a difficult labour and am still quite anaemic and have very low blood pressure. Also have flu at the moment. Have slept 2hrs in the last 36. DH works very, very long hours so have no help, no family nearby.

I have tried stretching out feeds, she will not have it. I jig her, sing to her, rock her, put her down, put her in the sling etc and she screams and roots. She is not comfort sucking. Weight gain is extraordinary. She is happy, alert, very smiley and absolutely beautiful but I am going to flush my head down the toilet.

Please please please help. Or at least tell me when it gets easier.

AND she's washing nappies!!!!!! Listen - I know all about landfill and the environment and the hydrocarbons and the silicone gel and all the rest, but go out now and buy disposables!!!!

(I'll be horrible to you if you think it would help....!)

Oh you poor thing! Sounds shattering. Flu and childbirth and a newborn is a completely nightmare situation.
When you say remote, how remote? Any colleges near you? Everyone doing a childcare course needs to do work experience, and I got a girl to come to me for five hours, three days a week and it was a godsend. Marvellous.
Her weight gain is extraordinary so no way on this earth are you a failure. YOu are miraculous!
It will get easier when you are no longer anaemic (take spatone please, in orange juice. Start today) and when you recover from the flu. Are you able to take your dd for walks? I know this APPALLING weather does NOT help (grrr) but it won't last forever and you can feed her, bundle her up, and take her out for a walk to help her sleep.
Lastly, have you thought of a dummy? Some babies are just naturally very, very sucky. My ds was (and my dd not really at all). For them, sucking is never just about hunger, it's a desperate need in itself. A dummy can save your life.
I also think she sounds very tired - my children were both the type to want to suck when they were tired, hungry or not. And cry. That's why I suggest, feed, bundle up, give dummy, go for walk. You won't be in bed sleeping - sadly - but you won't be feeding and you won't be listening to crying. And it may help teach your baby to sleep in the day.
Good luck. And it won't always be like this, honestly it won't.

God please don't be horrible to me, I'll curl up in a ball and cry.

I have to use reusables or I get kicked out of the lentil weaving club.

Does anybody have psychic abilities and can predict that date on which it starts to improve?

SOH is your dh doing anything to help you?

If he's not tell him to get off his ass and do something, he can wash diapers just as well as you can.

My ds (the sucky one) used to poo copiously at every single bloody feed! Nightmare.

ShowOfHands, line up the outlaws on the edge of the river and push 'em in!!

Tell them we said to do it for being so useless - have they no heart, these people??

There are lots of us who understand completely where you are coming from. We're empathising

SOH............ get DP to get a load of plain postcards. Write the jobs that need doing on each one (one job per card) then when the family come by to "help" tell them to choose a job from the pile. (Saw this suggested on MN... so no not a Marslady original).

There is NO WAY you should be up and about doing for others.

You are a wonderful mum doing a wonderful job with your gorgeous DD. Be proud of yourself. The fact that you have an epic supply is also fab. Now... do you leak? If so... get some nipple shells. Collect the leaking milk and freeze it. Then DH can give DD a feed late evening/night so that you can get a block of sleep.

Also........ those that really want to help... let them help! It will settle it really will, it just doesn't feel like it at the moment!

SOH, please, don't feel you are failing....by the sounds of it you don't...but it's in the nature of the beast that all new mums feel so unsure, eh....but honestly you are doing well!
Lots of wise words already been said, just wanted to add that you got to get that red blood count up, as it's the blood that makes breastmilk, so, being anaemic really is counter productive.
Maybe you could ask your GP to prescribe you some spatone , it's much easier absorped then those Iron tablets, hence will help faster and also eat foods that contain plenty of Iron...forinstance rocket leaves are meant to be very high in iron, higher then spinach. And there are other foods...but got a brainfreeze right now!
The other thing is, have you had your latch checked and is it definately correct? If you mentioned it on the thread already, I apologize...just speedread the messages.
If you feed in the Rugbyhold, it apparently makes it easier for the lil one to get to the hindmilk, which might help!
Anyways though, remember that, in our society, most people don't actually recognise a Breastfed Babies behaviour as the norm, as many people just think that a bf Baby has similar feeding patterns as a ff Baby.
Hang in there...it will get better!

please switch to disposables
if the lentilweaving club want you to use cloth so much then they can come round and wash the damn things.

Aloha the nearest college with a childhood studies course is about 20 miles away.

You're all going to laugh, point and say that I deserve this but I can't use a dummy. Pathetically and ridiculously I have this stupid notion that I should be doing this on my own. It's become this enormous 'me against the odds' thing. DH bought two dummies and has hidden them somewhere for when I crack. It's stupid but I feel like I let dd down during childbirth and giving her a dummy is letting her down again. I can't explain it but neither can I change it.

Right... SOH... I think you need to call me!

The dummy is a short term measure.

Look it's simply a tool in a tool box. When we need a screwdriver we don't take out the sledgehammer, we take out the screwdriver.

So... right now... it seems that the tool you need is the DUMMY! It is a short term measure. It doesn't mean she'll always have one.

Honey.... the only way you fail that gorgeous DD of yours is if you don't look after yourself. So.......... spatone as has been suggested, disposables for a short while and a dummy.

You're not failing sweetheart. Not now and not at the birth, ok?

I was wondering too, about whether she's feeding "efficiently". If she's on and off the breast, I wonder if she's getting tons of foremilk (and so gaining weight really well), but is constantly hungry because she's not getting enough hindmilk? You were saying that she hardly has to "try" to get milk from you, so if she's not sucking deeply, then I wonder if that's creating a problem?

I wonder if Tiktok or one of the breastfeeding experts could help? Or have you tried calling a breastfeeding counsellor from NCT?

This article about frequent nursing on Kellymom might be helpful.

Re: the Osteopathy. As you know, I'm a huge believer in it, having seen the difference it made to Aoife after just one session. She really isn't the sucky/ over-sensitive baby she was. She's much more settled. The Osteopathic Centre for Children will treat babies for free or a donation, though they've only got clinics in London and Manchester. You're very welcome to come to me if you want to bring her to the one in London. The link there has some info about the qualifications needed to be a paediatric osteopath.

I would then just use yell.com to call osteos in your area and ask if they treat babies. I think you can expect to pay £25 to £40 a session, but the good news is that you may only need three treatments. After all that pushing, and being so long in the birth canal, she might have a compressed palatte or similar (Aoife did) and it affects how they feed.

HTH. Got to go feed a crying baby! Lots of love to you.

hm...read a bit more in depht now and ignore my post, don't think that latch or anaemia are your problem...i.e. feeding pattern of your lil one...

SOH I'm about to buy a plane ticket so I can knock you upside the head.

There is no such thing as the perfect mom. Don't hesitate about a pacifier either, here in the US they say it can help prevent SIDS so tell yourself that the pacifier is the best thing for your baby.

SoH, what an utterly fab job you are doing!

Once we'd overcome our bf problems, ds was a Very Frequent Feeder, almost as much as your dd. But I wasn't anaemic by then, wasn't ill and didn't have ILs from hell around expecting me to make tea (ffs). So I came out of it fairly unbattered and unbruised. (And it DOES GET BETTER, I promise). But even then the hauling self out of bed every 2 hours was pretty grim. You are doing a Fab Job.

CAT me, and I'll send you some Moltex eco-disposables, Floradix and yummy German stuff to eat Seriously. Do CAT me.

And if your supply's good (mine was never that fab, really, though enough), you could express and have some milk in the fridge/freezer for when you Really Can't Take It Any More? To be given by dh, by bottle or cup.

Oh my GOD! I am coming up there to confiscate your reusables. Scratch that. Some eco-friendly nappies, nappy sacks and wipes on the way to you. FGS, STOP making life more difficult for yourself!

SOH....I had a E-C-section wiht my 3. child and dispite knowing that I could do it, etc...I still felt I had failed...which is of course really daft, but feelings are not always rational, are they.
I know I am not helping here, just wanted to let you know I can sympathise and feel for you!

I am a serious lentil weaver. So seriouss that I have been promoted to youghurt knitting. And I have a message from the Chief Tofu Folder. You must switch to disposable nappies for the next 14 days ONLY. People living at..what did you say your address was..?.....are forbidden to wash nappies for the next fortnight. By order.

You sound like I felt when seriously anaemic and I did not have a demanding dd!

Can you see your GP about this - what worked to get my iron levels back up was a combination of Ferrograd-C tablets - which have slow release iron combined with vitamin C, making it easier to absorb and preventing the horrid side effects I had from the first tablets he reccomended.

I also had a series of vit B12 injections, (as Paris Hilton apparantly had to help my body absorb the iron and boost my energy levels.

Until you get over this flu, and back on your feet feck the lentil weaving. Take care of yourself.

Oh SOH, how can you be 'letting down your baby by giving her what she needs?
I am so, so happy that I gave my ds a dummy. He has turned out to have Asperger syndrome (a form of autism) which can make children very sucky - at 5.5 he can read fluently, write, do maths....but still puts everything in his mouth! Stop panicking, I'm not for ONE SECOND suggesting your dd has Aspergers or anything like it - I'm just saying babies' needs really vary.
A Us paediatrician called Harvey Karp really believes that lots of babies can benefit from a dummy.
I know they don't look particularly beautiful, and some people disapprove terribly, because they think dummies are chavvy, but for some babies (ie my ds but not my dd) they can be a total lifesaver for both of you. Look, I'll admit I felt as if I didn't want one - that it looked bad - but my ds was a nightmare. Cried a lot. Didn't sleep. Was constantly breastfeeding - constantly. He refused to sleep even in his pram. My mum would take him for a walk to give me a break, but I always knew when they were back because he was howling - I'd hear him down the street. Then one day I was so suprised because when my mum brought him back, he was still asleep. Why? She'd given him a dummy!
This is what Harvey Karp has to say:
216.239.51.104/search?q=cache:J9GMrkxMrAMJ:seattlepi.nwsource.com/lifestyle/80970_cry.shtml+H arvey+Karp+pacifier&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=3&gl=uk
If your baby doesn't want a dummy, she'll make it clear! My dd certainly did.
And she's a very different character to my ds - frighteningly feisty!

It isn't compulsory, but right now, I think you need all the help you can get.

Oh yes, and get DISPOSABLES.
And do somethign serious about the anaemia.

Aloha is right about your dd letting you know if she doesn't want a dummy - my ds never accepted a dummy - just wasn't the type, or it wasn't what he needed. (We tried it at I think about 7-8 weeks in fact, but he just never bothered with it, would spit it straight out, or lose it and not care).

Oh yes iron tablets, I stopped taking them due to horrendous constipation. Seeing GP for 8wk check next week so will ask about alternatives.

I'm working on expressing- can manage 4oz by hand in 20 mins. Finding time to do this is tricky.

You're all so lovely, must lie down.

Spatone is v v good - no constipation!