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Breastfeeding in public your thoughts?

104 replies

Yazza123 · 16/03/2018 16:33

So I strictly breastfeed which has its pros and cons. One con is definitely when I am out with my 3 month old who insist that she will only have the boob it is hard to locate a breastfeeding friendly room nearby so what do you do when you are out and there is no feeding rooms nearby? I know there are discreet covers you can use in public places but is there anybody who openly breastfeeds in public? Surely it’s 2018 breastfeeding should not be an issue to do in public but nearby cafes and shops should have rooms for bf mums.

OP posts:
Littlechocola · 16/03/2018 17:04

I popped them out wherever and whenever.

It is not like you are taking a shit which should be done in private.

Hookedoncatnip · 16/03/2018 17:10

My anxiety about breastfeeding in public was a part of the reason I didn't manage to bf my dd1.

I was more determined with my second and although I was self conscious at first it became easier and I cared less what other people said/thought. Not my problem.

'Breastfeeding' tops or tops which I could lift easily and wear vests under really helped me feel less exposed. I considered the bf covers but I'm glad I didn't bother now because they seem like a bit of a faff and once past the newborn phase my dd2 would not have tolerated the cover. It is possible to be discreet without the covers. If you feel the cover would help it's no harm to try one.

When I occasionally felt a bit nervous I focussed my mind on the baby and why I was doing it. It's hard but so worth it if you can do it. Although I am a firm believer in doing what works for you be it bf or formula.

With my first it seemed as if everyone could do it and made it look easy. It was just my perception of things. I felt bad for not doing it. Weirdly with my second who took to it easily it seemed as if no one I met was doing it. I would've liked to have met more bf mothers in rl. I joined FB bf groups and got the extra support I needed on there.

Best of luck to you.

CAAKE · 16/03/2018 17:12

I breastfeed anywhere I need to and I don't wear any special tops. I juts make sure I at least have a vest on that will fold down over my boob so I can keep my tummy covered. I'm far more concerned with people seeing my stomach and spare tyre than my boob!

Yazza123 · 16/03/2018 17:24

I usually use the privste breastfeeding rooms when I am in big shopping centres or shops but I agree breastfeeding should be something Mum’s should do openly and proudly I guess there’s just some humans that will never understand that when a baby needs to be fed they will be fed openly or privately but I definitely will invest in a discreet cover to start off with :)

OP posts:
ChilliMum · 16/03/2018 17:25

I fed both of mine whenever, wherever. I think it's one of those the more you do it the less you care (or even notice) things.

A good friend of mine told me a lovely story, she was feeding her baby in the park and an elderly man walking his dog kept staring so she stared right back. After the obvious awkward moment, he came over, was extremely embarrased and apologised for staring.

He explained that his wife who he had lost a few weeks before had bf their children. That seeing my friend had brought back some lovely memories and he hadn't meant to stare.

They ended up passing a lovely hour talking about his wife, children, babies and feeding and he thanked her for reminding him of happier times at a particularly low time for him.

I think there is much less offense than you think there will be.

KatharinaRosalie · 16/03/2018 17:25

The covers attract WAY more attention than just pulling your top up and latching baby on.

throwawayagain · 16/03/2018 17:26

I have breastfed whilst browsing supermarkets, in other people's homes, in swimming pools even.
I have never been exposed in public. Ponchos are amazing!

OutyMcOutface · 16/03/2018 17:28

I was a bit uncomfortable breastfeeding in front of others for the first couple of months. But then I got used to it and would just whip out my breasts whenever it was required. It was never an issue and no one ever seemed to notice except my MIL who was a bit embarrassed but also got over it.

53rdWay · 16/03/2018 17:31

If you’re nervous, feed the baby at home in front of a mirror as a test run - you’ll be surprised at just how little you can see. That made me a lot more confident about feeding in public in the early days.

53rdWay · 16/03/2018 17:32

Oh ChilliMum that’s lovely!

gandalfspants · 16/03/2018 17:35

I had some special tops, but floaty top layer and stretchy bottom layer worked just as well if not better.

I couldn't feed 'exposed' in winter because I have Reynauds and cold boobs led to major pain.

I was less 'discreet' in summer but not to the point of being half naked (I've never seen anyone do this).

I never got any negative comments or 'looks'.

I once got caught out by closing time at a museum and had to walk through the whole place carrying a latched on three month old, that was a bit odd.

Cheekyandfreaky · 16/03/2018 17:42

I am bf’ing second dd but don’t remember getting negative comments with her or older dd. I don’t think most people care.

I never cover and it’s not an issue- I’ve had plenty of positive comments.

Dallia · 16/03/2018 17:43

You can’t seriously think cafes should have bf rooms??

NinaMarieP · 16/03/2018 17:47

I feed anywhere it's needed. A lot of times in cafes and restaurants (great excuse for a drink and cake stop - oh baby needs fed...) but also at bus stops, park benches, picnic rug in the park, libraries, doctors waiting rooms, in the car, whoever's house I'm in etc. Never got the hang of walking/sling feeding so has to be somewhere I can sit down.

Most public place had to be on a sofa in the middle of a shopping centre, literally hundreds of people walked past and the lady in the jewellers to the side of the sofa probably got a right eyeful as she bent down into her window display... 😂

At first it was embarrassing/a little stressful but basically I didn't look up until the latch was all sorted and I could pretend to be 100% focussed on that. Then after that I could sip my drink or whatever.

NinaMarieP · 16/03/2018 17:49

Oh and I never cover or use a scarf. I try to not have my boob out and waving at everyone but he likes more than just my nipple exposed, and also likes to look around. Nobody's ever said anything or given me dirty looks but there have been a few flustered waiters as they only notice when they're right up close putting my plate down.

ShackUp · 16/03/2018 17:50

I fed both of mine whenever, wherever and nobody ever said a word apart from mil

DS2 is 21 months and I still whip out a boob occasionally

HappyintheHills · 16/03/2018 17:51

I fed mine in 89 and 96.
I found their heads were the perfect cover. Grin

widgetbeana · 16/03/2018 17:51

I remember having a howling little one and in John Lewis cafe queueing on my own for food, by the time I'd gotten to the head of the queue and paid the people behind me had sent their partners to bagsy tables. So I had nowhere to sit.
A group of Pensioners, mainly men but with two elderly ladies too, summoned me over to where they had commandeered a section of tables. They were so wonderful giving me somewhere to sit, but I got so uncomfortable knowing what I needed to do. One of the men said to me "please don't delay feeding her we aren't bothered if you aren't, but if you want to be alone I'll go and shame that pair over there into giving up their table, they were after you!"
He made me laugh and I stayed with them and fed, I heard so many funny childhood stories and such care was shown that day.

Please just go for it!

user1498549192 · 16/03/2018 17:53

I just did it wherever I could sit down! Nobody ever batted an eyelid.

icclemunchy · 16/03/2018 17:54

Top up, boob out, babe on. Jobs a goodun.

Only time I was ever approached was at a farm in Wales. She suggested I used the staff room and I was all ready to be outraged when she continued that there was a lovely rocking chair in there from when the owner nursed her babies and she thought it might be warmer than the picnic bench I was perched on ❤️

9 time out of 10 noone looks close enough to see what your doing anyway

mrspapalazarou · 16/03/2018 17:59

I breastfeed wherever I need to. When you're faced with a hungry crying baby, you don't care if people are around. I just like to be discreet and wear a vest top underneath a t shirt or jumper do I can pull the vest top down and the top up and with baby's head there, everything is covered. No one has ever given me a disapproving look, or if they have i haven't noticed.

TheFaerieQueene · 16/03/2018 18:03

I breastfed anywhere and everywhere in 1991 when I had my son. I can’t remember having any problems.

MoodyTwo · 16/03/2018 18:03

I've openly fed my little one for 1.5 years and not once have I received even an odd glance ...
once an old lady bought me a cookie and said keep up the good work and once I was next too a patasiery valierie and he was crying I was stood outside feeding as it was a sunny day , and one member of staff came out and bought me a free coffee (I didn't have my purse as I was just going for a walk) and asked me to come in and have a seat ...
I am lucky my experience of breast feeding has been amazing

NerrSnerr · 16/03/2018 18:05

I fed my eldest until she was 2 and I'm 11 Months in with my second. I feed where they need it- never had a comment from anyone. I have never used a cover.

I think a cover draws more attention to the fact you're breastfeeding- without a cover it just looks like you're having a cuddle.

NerrSnerr · 16/03/2018 18:07

I also don't think cafes and shops should have feeding rooms. It shouldn't be something to be ashamed of.

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