theres so much pressure to breast feed exclusively!!its making me feel really crap!!

[wannabump2006]

Hi there,have a 4 week old dd who i initally started breastfeeding from day one.Its taken us 3 years to get the baby we want as i had a stillborn in may 2005 and a miscarriage in the september of the same year.
Shes an incredibly laid back little girl,wakes twice in the night for feeds,once around 3/4 and then again at about 6/7am,we give her a good feed at 10/11pm then she just goes down,so feel really lucky about that.
The issue now though is that because she is such a hungry baby,i introduced topping up with formula after a bf if she wanted it(suggested by midwife)which i felt really relieved about as i was feeling like she wasn't geeting enough from me,and the formula would really settle her down.ergo it would make me feel better because she was satisfied.Now though at 4 weeks i'm alternating between bf and bottle feeding,eg bf one feed then bottle next,which is suiting us really well,but i just feel theres so much pressure to just bf that it really gets to me!!
Its such a blessing to have this little girl and shes so good to take to both breast and bottle so well but just feel like health visitor and others are thinking i should have just bf and not introduced the bottle!!
I really need some support from others who have had a similar experience and just to be reasured really that the bottle isn't the enemy!!Which is how i'm feeling at the mo!!,please any one else had a similar experience?many thanks.x

wannabump2006 - I am sorry that you have been upset by this thread and the usage of OP. As has been said before, OP is used when you are discussing the issue generally and not directing it personally to the poster.Mumsnet topics always veer off the original posters statement/question, it was not directed at you.

The information posted on this thread was for anyone who was not aware of the mechanism of producing breastmilk. You are happy with your decision making and that is all that matters.

Mumsnet can be a really supportive forum at it's best. Everyone gets upset at some point or another by some of the threads and it takes a bit of distancing yourself to realise it is communicating with a huge number of people.

Breast feeding threads always get animated.
I have found myself upset at times by being accused of lecturing, being a BF mazi, in the BF mafia etc.

That pales into insignificance when someone says , 'thank you for that information - I didn't know that and it has really helped me' which has happened and many occasions.

Enjoy your baby and I hope you enjoy mumsnet again.

haven't read all the responses but I am a great believer in whatever works best for you and yours.

dd1 - formula fed with a very little ebm.

dd2 - mixed fed at start - took a while for milk to come in and dd2 and I to get the hang of breastfeeding. She too was a big hungry babe.

dd3 - breastfed.

I felt the same way when I introduced one bottle formula a day to ds2 at 4 months (to break the cycle of him feeding off me every 2 hours at night! could not express enough to give him my milk). I felt that it was poisoning him or something! But in actual fact it was a god-send and got me through a sticky patch. How he is 7 months he has started only waking once in the night and not needing the bottle any more but we still have the formula if needed. You are doing a wonderful job giving her your milk and anything she gets from you is a bonus. If you wanted to feed her exclusively then there are ways of increasing your supply but if what you are doing is working for you then that's great. Before you know it she'll be onto solids anyway! Congratulations on your lovely little girl, enjoy every moment and don't beat yourself up about the formula, you don't need to. Hugs.

PS oh and ds1 was formula fed from 7 weeks as he was born after I lost a 9 day old baby so was very emotional time and I could not handle the breastfeeding as well. he has turned out perfectly well and healthy is hardly ever ill and thrived on it

I've not been through all the posts, but I have to say I'm a wee bit disappointed at the tone of some them that I have seen.

I had to use mixed feeding with my DS because he was refusing my breast, I couldn't express enough to feed him and he was starving, losing weight and dehydrated. It broke my heart to give him formula but it was done on the advice of the paedeatrician and the breast feeding advisor at the hospital and it was the right thing to do however rotten I felt about it. It wasn't about my feelings it was about doing the best thing for my baby.

However, I too got a big guilt trip from certain professionals, offical publications and a few others because of it. This was NOT HELPFUL.

My DS is now 10weeks, very healthy and after much effort is now almost soley breastfed. I say almost becuase we still have formula in the house and he still gets it occasionally if I am exhausted and needing a break, or if I have to leave him with someone else for a time.

Giving formula is not a straight road to giving up bfing, and I think people who manage to bf at all under difficult circumstances, rather than just packing it in as many do, should receive a gold medal and not get a hard time for using some formula to make sure their LO is happy and healthy, which is the important thing after all.

wannabump... the bottle is not the enemy, it's a tool to get the job done. And don't forget that a happy healthy Mum and a happy healthy baby is what everyone is aiming for, and you are succeeding if you achieve that, whatever way makes it happen for you.

Yay Suis!

I agree.

I have had a much tougher time bf my second than I did my first, and have tried so hard to bf, but it wasn't working as well as it should have.

So I combination-feed.

After 10 days the bf is still going strong, and he looks like he has grown already!

I was not happy the other night when he would not take my breast, after reading the posts on here about how the introduction of a bottle completely compromises breast feeding.

DS would not take my breast, and I was convinced that he would not do so solely because I had given him a bottle a couple of times a day for just over a week.

Everyone else in the house was pleading with me to give him a bottle, but all I could think of was the posts on here that had convinced me that I had done the wrong thing.

Anyway, this was all at about 11pm, but 3am he was back on the breast.

I don't believe it is all doom and gloom when you introduce a bottle, I think what could be more helpful would be advice on how to successfully feed via a bottle and breast when for whatever reason(s) EBF is not completely successful.

I should be completely honest and add too that I had had more than a couple of glasses of wine before DS wouldn't feed from me, which I hope is the reason why he wouldn't take the breast that one time....

I too feel pressure already (i'm only 9+6) to breast feed my baby!! My MIL asked me if i was going to breast feed and when i hesitated (it didn't work out too well with DS1 because he was very poorly in special care) she said in a patronising way "YE-ESSS". She then went on to tell me how she BF until her DS was 2 1/2 years old!

This has made be feel really pressurised into BF and i'm already panicking about what happens if this LO doesn't take to it either.

I'm all of the opinion that a happy mummy = a happy baby but the one thing i'm scared of is sore nipples et al.

I really want to try and BF and i hope that i can get on with it, but at the same time i dont want to feel "imprisoned" by only being able to BF. Mixing the feeds with bottles does sound like a very good idea. That way you can nudge your DP in the middle of the night so that he gets up for a change!

I will deffo give it a go tho. I just hope my MIL doesn't give me lectures if i decide it's just not for me!

Hi with my DD1 desaster and pain stoped after few days: DD2 lasted a V painfull week then got blocked milk ducts on to the bottle: With DS 3rd child i tryed again and had a very good midwife who literaly showed me how to latch ds on lot better DS always had a bottle of milk at bed time sometimes expressed sometomes formula That was daddys feed. when i did need to go out with out DS as he got bigger he was used to the bottle and i could leave eather formula or express (from frezer) What i'm trying to say is have another go if it does not work you know you tryed and if you are a bit sore use a bottle if you still in pain stop there is nothing worse than dreading feeding your baby. All 3 of mine are now fully bonded healthy and quite bright. Just be strong and make sure you are happy

havent read the whole thread, but I mix fed my last baby, and it worked perfectly fine. If your supply feels secure enough, then just go for it and dont feel guilty!

I have been using one bottle a day in the evening for weeks and hasn't affected my supply or ds one jot. Have now started offering a bottle to top up after feeds as he sometimes gets distracted by bf and ends up just grinning at me!!! - wasn't convinced he was getting enough. As below - if you are confident with your supply, and you are both happy then go for it. Understand completely about the pressure re bf exclusively. I've stopped telling people what I'm doing, because I can't be bothered with the huffs and puffs of disapproval. My ds is 17 weeks and 16lb - you'd think tht would keep everyone quiet....