Non-stop breastfeeding! Advice needed

[manicmama]

I have just had my third son and am breastfeeding him as I did my first two. However, I gave up after a month with my first two because they fed non-stop ie one hour on, one hour off if I am lucky. This is now happening again.

I know DS3 is latched on properly - my midwife has checked. I am feeding on demand and am becoming exhausted. Whilst it probably seems like early days to most of you pros I could really use some support. I would really like to try to breast feed for longer than a month this time but know that I won't manage this if I am unable to take a break.

Maybe being stricter is the way forward. My MIL says he should only be fed every 4 hours but I can't bear to listen to him crying and him not understanding what is happening.

It's a difficult one, manic. You have to balance your need for some rest for your child's perceived needs at this time. When I had my ds, I bf for six weeks, after which time I was too knackered to go on. He was wanting milk every twenty minutes or so, day and night. In the end (after much soul-searching), I switched to the bottle. He couldn't care less, but it hurt me for a while. They always say the first six weeks are the hardest and I managed just that ... controversial or not, that's long enough for some of us! Please don't beat yourself up over it: my mother's generation almost exclusively bottle-fed (in the 60s) and both me and my brother have always been robust and healthy. It's horses for courses ... good luck!

Firstly ignore MIL , her philosophy is out of date, discredited and puts undue stress on you. He is much too little to cry it out and wait so follow your instinct. Her energies would be better spent on taking care of your older boys and alleviating the daily stress of life by cooking etc.

Your ds3's tummy is about the size of a walnut and needs topping up frequently but it doesn't last. As he grows it will become less time consuming and you'll appreciate more the benefits of not faffing with sterilising and making up feeds. Contact a Breastfeeding specialist (NCT, La Leche League or a local Breastfeeding "cafe" should be available in your area)to check your latch, midwives are not usually as well trained.

This sounds perfectly normal, DD fed almost continuously for the first 6 weeks, it sucks (no pun intended) and it's hard but if you can get through that then you are past the hardest part!

Have you considered getting a sling or some way of feeding him so your hands are free, that way you won't feel as tied down. It was a revelation to me when I doscovered how to feed DD with no hands!
Have a look at the lower pics here for some idea of what I mean.

And for what it's worth, you've done great to manage so far so I hope it works out for you!

Your MIL is quite wrong about this (and I bet she has something to eat or drink more often than four hourly and would not like it if she was made to be hungry or thirsty because the clock didn't say the right time!). We know from research that the best. healthiest and most comfortable way to bf is to be responsive to the baby's needs.

Your needs are for support, someone to help you with everything but feeding, and some good information on feeding lying down, co-sleeping with the baby, use of a hands-free sling and a team of cheer leaders not moaners to encourage you : )

Thanks for the support everyone. I had thought about a sling and will look into it further.

manicmama, if you have a pashmina type scarf or even a cot sheet lying around you can make a temporary pouch sling to try out without forking out for one. I used a pashmina tied in a knot and slung over one shoulder for weeks before buying a 'proper' sling. (Didn't wear it out though as it is a hideous bright pink colour! )

And I would second learning to feed lying down, it's such a relief!

It totally depends on the child. My ds fed virtually nonstop: every two hours and would stay feeding for an hour at a time and he did this day and night. My dd fed every 4 or 5 hours. In both cases things became much easier at 6 months when I started solids. It's tough, but hang in there, it really does become easier as a routine and you might actually grow to enjoy it once you accept it as a reality and also as something that will not last forever. I miss bfing.

Thanks Chirpygirl - the pashmina idea is a really good one

Firstly, well done for getting this far and persevering, esp with 2 other LOs to look after My DS is 9 weeks and I know exactly how you feel! He feeds so often and for such long periods, its difficult to judge when one feed ends and another begins!

I have recently wondered about my 'flow', as when I express the milk comes out in very fine jets. I consulted a homeopathic doc about this last week to see if there was anything that would give us a bit more 'fuel injection' so to speak! I'm not sure what he found but apparently there IS something that can help. Its on its way to me in the post - will let you know how we get on with it!

Although spending so many hours on one task is hard for us multi-taskers (!) in a way, believing that this is the best thing for him is what keeps me going - that plus as others have said here, knowing that it will only be like this for a (relatively) short period of time. Keep going! You're doing brilliantly!

Oh love - I remember this well - just wanted to add my voice in saying -you can do it, it does ease off, then it's fabulous and so much easier than lugging formula everywhere and being caught short when your day out is extended by an hour!!

ps Am sure you are busy, but if you can find a 'latch-on group' in yr area, I definitely recommend going - even if you only make the odd session. I was lucky to stumble across one, just at the point of "How much longer can I keep this up?" (approx. 5 wks old). They were great! Like mumsnet with tea! Some were even qualified BFing counsellors... their tips and reassurances contributed enormously to us getting this far.

Good luck!

Just to be repetitiv, now DD has gone to bed I have found the bit I was looking for, try this for homemade nursing slings!

repetitive.

Manicmama - no great words of wisdom but I am right there with you! 5 and half weeker, feeding at least 2 hourly (and for a good hour each time) with constant comments from family of "Still feeding?" "you feeding AGAIN?" Did try to explain what was going on in terms of his tummy size etc to mil but not sure it made much difference!
And Shantibee - glad I am not the only one wondering this!! I thought I was a bit mad. You must post to let me know what the stuff is and whether it gives you the boost!

Shantibee - It is normal for milk to come out in fine jets on expressing.

Thanks for that Tiktok - I didn't realise it was normal - phew! I guess it is easy to worry (ha! parenthood redefines the word worry!) and with having the sole responsibility of feeding, to wonder if there is ANYTHING that might help LO. (He's becoming so permanently attached that am thinking of changing his name to 'Accessory'!!)
Q: if 'fine jet flow' is normal, do you think it is possible to change it?
Kateyp - I know those comments well! Its amazing how women who didn't even consider BFing feel their advice is relevant! Have you had the 'a couple of bottles of formula a day will give you a break' remark yet? I've given up trying to think of a response. I know they mean well but, the point for me is, I really don't mind!
Not sure what medicine he sent but will post results when I have them!

Er....why would you want to change something that's normal, shanti?

Sorry - am I missing something?

Posting again, 'cos I am really puzzled about this

I am also puzzled what the homepathic doctor will treat you for

The milk exits from the nipple through very small holes. I guess the actual size of these is gonna vary between individuals, just as our shoe size differs, but not by very much. I don't think you can make your holes bigger than what you were born with

The size of the hole will determine the size of the jet of milk, but it is never gonna be more than a 'fine' spray. The 'jet' aspect comes from the let down reflex and the efficiency with which the pump works on drawing the milk out. Again, I suppose with a very good pump action, you might get a better 'performance' with a slightly faster removal of milk, but you will still get 'fine jets' .

The baby, when he feeds, copes well with the 'fine jets' which are compressed, in a way, into what is technically called a 'bolus' of milk, because of the way the tongue and the jaw shape the nipple and the breast.

Hope that explains my puzzlement a bit more

I bought a sling (new native pouch kind) in order to be able to feed non stop when ds2 (1 mth old) wants and still get my other kids fed and toileted).
Now that it's here of course he has settled down to near clockwork 3 hrly feeds .
Law of Murphy and all that

tiktok - thank you for clarification - I think cos DS2 feeds for so long at a time that I worry that he isn't getting enough at a time - so I worry he is getting a small steady flow rather than a big bolus. Having said that I was chatting to another woman this week and she was worried that her DD was only feeding for 10mins at a time so I don't think you can win - I think "worry" is the normal state and we just find something to worry about! I feel as though I should know all this (am a doctor) but as soon as it is me it all turns on its head and breast feeding goes from something that I know all about in theory/physiology becomes something akin to witchcraft

Would still be intrigued to know what a homeopathist feels can help. But then homeopathy is a whole other thing...

Yesterday I tried my sling again - and actually felt human as DS fed whilst I wandered around some shops! So think that is my next plan - getting on with things with him feeding rather than taking up residence on the sofa. Although I reserve the right to demand cups of tea from DH as I 'can't possibly get up - I'm bfing"

I had a similar experience with my ds manicmama. For the first 9 weeks, he didn't once come off the breast himself, and he constantly wanted to be feeding and didn't sleep terribly much. He never had the "milk drunk" look that people talk about. Then, one day when he was nine weeks old, he came off the breast himself after feeding and started to go 3 hours in between feeds. It was such a great moment for me and I can remember the date exactly!! Hopefully somehting similar will happen with your ds. Well done for getting this far, and please believe that it does get easier!

katey, glad to hear you are understanding a bit more and feeling a bit better about it.

Your baby is behaving normally, and feeding lengths vary - why would they not? Each nursing partnership is unique.

All that matters in terms of the physiology of it all is, is your baby thriving? I guess he is or you would have said. He loves feeding, he loves being close to you, and he likes to take his time....nothing wrong with that at all

He's five weeks old - he has years to learn about bolting his food